The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 3)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 3rd round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like these previous rejoins!

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption

Women of EllisFam Rejoin

And now, part 3 of the new recordings…

B-Rip (by: wiz1010)

You Sexy Bastid (by: tank_yanker)

A Lot Like Herpes (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Scat (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Sexual Orientation (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Side Effects Include (by: Cody_McCraw92)

TJES, Cougar Approved (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Clit Off My Box (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Bumpy Banana (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, Hitler (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, N-Bomb (by: Lugoman43)

It’s Tough To Choose (by: serutti)

Cable (by: serutti)

Jew Bell (by: sharkchucker)

All That Pussy Rawdog Smashes (by: bitPimps)

I Got Super Powers (by: bitPimps)

Smoke Weed Everyday (by: NorCalRowe)

Bom Da Boo Poo (by: NorCalRowe)

Best of Re-Cap for Friday 3/22/2013

Well hello boys n girls. Its your uncle Ghostload speaking, and if you can read this, dude get a fucking life.  Speaking of getting a life, your mom is and old school tool from before I could drool.  Bitch be so dumb, sticks n stones be insulting her, OH!  Nah but seriously, we here at the No You Are clinic do care a great deal about your mom…’s snatch and ass hole, plus she could suck the rust of an ’83 El Camino that’s been in the back yard since ’84, cause she did!  Well I don’t know about you, but I personally have a strong interest in your mom, I mean besides the fact bitch better have my money, she’s also your mom, and I like you!  I was doing a little research into your mom, no not “In to” your mom, not this time – No I mean real research and I noticed a bit of a downward spiral in her life since we first commented on her back in  January of 2012.  Hell just think that was just over a year ago, and to think where she is now, in fact if you know where she is, hit me on twitter @wiz1010 cause like I said, Bitch Better Have My Money!  Anyways, here’s a month by month breakdown on just how far the bitch, i mean your mom the bitch, has fallen – Enjoy……….


Monday, January 23, 2012 As I mentioned above, this is the first time your mom was mentioned, and at her height I might add, hob slob-knobbing with former Passenger 57 mega-super-broke-star what’s his name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012 If we were charting this in graph format, not only would we be a bunch of fucking nerds, but the curve would be on the upward.  Today may be the greatest day of your mom’s life.  Today is not only Chad Reed day, well really yeah its just Chad Reed day!

Probably Your Mom's Best Feature - Her Lovely Hair

Probably Your Mom’s Best Feature – Her Lovely Hair

Friday, March 16, 2012 Ah yes, your mom is still fresh on the scene, appearing with none other than Die Antwoord cause yes, I fink your mom freaky!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Ok, so remember the graph, yeah were on the “downward slope” as they call it, well they also call it that cause when you go in your mom’s vage you immediately fall downward into the pussy, hence the term!  Anyways today was the gruesome story of the day your mom started hooking, shocking but true!

Ain’t she a beauty! Though I admit I like her hair longer.

Wednesday, March 30, 2012 Ok now she’s just a fucking bitch, I mean using the SiriusXM phone app is hard enough with it fucking sucking balls n all, but now we find out the truth about the Sirius phone app and your mom – stupid cunt whore oh and your mom is a moronic jizz cunt!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012 John in Houston, we have lift off!  Your mom and the extinction of big foot?  You’d better start keeping your eyes out and your cocks covered from here on out kids!

Look at those tig ol bitties right there boy! DAMN!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 Now your mom hates the gays.  Today, sadly enough was the day we had “The bet between evil Chick-fil-a and your even more eviler mom” dun dun dun!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2012 Now look, I’m not a fan of beating up your mom.  Its only cause she’s into the shit really that I do it.  I’d rather drop a deuce on her chest, return serve, and fucking roll the fuck out aids free!  But to be fair, here is a reminder of what she used to be just a few months ago and probably my favorite, this is where Christopher Walken got his style from.

Ok so the gunt can kinda get in the way – I just hit it from the back!

Friday, September 21, 2012 Now I know this one’s kinda confusing, you hear “Bit’s amazing day with your mom” and you think shit’s sweet right.  Dude it’s fucking bit with your mom, shit ain’t that sweet right about now homie.  The good news though, this one’s got some really sweet fucking pics, of batman and the joker crush’n’grooven and your mom (See the last one)

Wednesday, October 31, 2012  Well, well, well.  It’s like I caught you in the cookie jar, pun intended!  By now in the month by month recap of your mom’s past year or so, she’s just flat out of control, I mean all of #EllisFam?

See, much better....well not better, lesser of two evils really.

See, much better….well not better, lesser of two evils really. Oh and thats the self-portrait tattoo AZ_RedDragon gave her with his load and a match, not bad bro!

Monday, November 26, 2012 Well if you fuck all of Ellis Fam, then who’s left?  Yeah we saw it coming just sad it happened during the holidays. Things are really getting bad for your mom when turning tricks ain’t even cutting it no mo’.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 It’s cold, money’s tight, and we at No You Are don’t fucking care about your mom.  Sure we could buy her dinner, or maybe hold her hand, but nah! Now we just fuck her for sport……as if we ever didn’t.  Some things never change!

This is her vagina.  I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview....this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

This is her vagina. I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview….this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

Thursday, January 24, 2013 Ok this is one of those pivotal points in your mom’s life, well kinda the opposite as she’s lost all ability to pivot on your dick anymore which made her one of the nation’s top 5,000 hookers in the  40 and above division.  Now its just a matter of survival when fucking your mom, thanks to Rawdog though maybe we can make it out alive!

Friday, February 22, 2013 OK, that it, I’m never fucking that bitch again…Cumtard‘s fucking her.  Ghostload out!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub.  FUCK THAT!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub. FUCK THAT!



Best of Re-Cap for Thursday 3/21/2013

Well slap my sister upside the trailer, how the hell how ya #EllisFam?  It’s Thursday, so only got a few more hours of giving a fuck before we let our true internal loverboy loose cause everybody’s working for the weekend.  Look, I’m sorry for that last one, here’s how your uncle Ghostload, and the fine folks at NoYouAre can make it up to you.  Before we can get to that, let me introduce you to the highly paid and very well off staff you vicariously live through each and every day…..


@bitpimps (He’s on everything really, twitter, instagram, your mom, etc.)

lBit got his NYA proverbial dick wet before all of us.  He’s the ace, the guru, and has possibly the most free time as you see on twitter.  He was the first to ever post on the site, with what was just a general monthly overview of the show back in December of 2011, but read the last paragraph and you’ll see why he’s well BitPimps!  The idea of the doing these more often didn’t take much longer to blossom, and thus was born our first daily recap on January 23, 2012, and also the birth of something even bigger smaller than that, but we’ll get to that tomorrow.



@AZ_RedDragon  (Same as bit, usually at same time too!)

Fucked UpAZ is just the man, up front, right out the gates.  He’s definitely the muscle and our heart of NYA, and who better to tell you he he is, well than himself in his first ever post back in January 2012.  From there is was just cases of beer and anal with your mom for a month or so, until we were blessed with the first of many well worth the wait recaps on March 14, 2012.  It was a Wednesday by the way, read up on who or what…..



@wiz1010  (a.k.a. Ghostload, also like other two above, but Im filming!)

84876707ea56f96d5e56c16b7363d38cGhostload’s like the guy who talks in 3rd person, ya know the face figure of NYA, sorta like the Puff Daddy to NYA’s Biggie.  Now Ghostload came out the box swinging hard, with pictures n all, well mostly all with his first recap on October 10, 2012.  It’s pretty much been downhill since there, but the kid’s got a lot of swagger so anything’s possible.  Be sure to get it up ya on twitter, instagram and at your mom’s house.



@CrackerStacker6  (a.k.a Branden, same as others above, but with more style)

get_default_image.phpBranden is the disturbingly creative mind of the NYA and keeps us all on our toes, and sleeping with one eye open.  Once he joined the NYA crew it was immediately off with the hulk gloves n Branden went hard in the muthafucking paint with his first recap on January 30, 2013.  He’s is definitely an intricate part of all this chaos, and your mom’s anus as well!



@shit_toboggan (a.k.a. Alex, again ditto as above, but usually no one makes it out alive)

4632452_300Now if I’m not mistaking, I believe Alex is the only of us all to compete in EllisMania, so fucking shout out for that shit!  He joined the NYA ledges and just went ape-shit on the keyboard on his first recap back on February 5, 2013.  Since then he’s been shoplifting your attention, and your mom’s monthly government checks!



Now if your still reading this, your probably taking me seriously on the whole I’ll make it up to ya.  Well, truth is you can go fuck yourself for all I care, unless your EllisFam, which again if your still reading this your probably are.  So for you, I have pulled a few random favorite recaps of mine for you to jerk it to.  Enjoy….

February 7, 2012:  All kinds of goodies here, Rude Jude, DanOD5, and of course the NMT discover of Die Antwoord, fuck yeah!

May 25, 2012:  Classic Picture and MMA is 5% gay!

July 2, 2012:  Bit’s true identity is leaked by AZ, I probably shouldn’t have pulled this one but fuck it.

August 17, 2012:  Ellismate finally on TMZ?  Doing stuff with Gabi, so hot!

September 20, 2012:  Dog Center!!!  Oh, and the birth of Jizz Cult.

November 19, 2012:  The “You Don’t Know Shit About Ellis” game.  Fuck I didn’t even remember this.

December 6, 2012:  Mike Dolce’s diet.  The last time we ever hear from Dana White.







Show Re-cap For Thursday 1/3/2013

Today’s show is dedicated to the troops and to lesbians.  But not the lesbians that fuck women only, but the ones who will take a dick from time to time.  So for the lesbian troops out there, this one’s especially for you.  If your a twisted robot nympho that wishes you could impregnate Wall-E, this one’s especially for you!  What were the New Year resolutions for the crew you wonder….Ellis doesn’t have one, just his desire to dominate radio and be famous.  Rawdog on the other hand just wants to get out of bed half an hour after the alarm goes off.  He also wants to be more social in his life, maybe getting a little pussay if you know what I mean.  This all inevitably led to Rawdog needing to pump iron, so he can pump the ladies.  After a few callers admitted their tragic downhill turn in life due to Ellis and Rawdog not going to the gym regularly like they were going too, we got action.  So again, Ellis n Rawdog are going to the gym to work out, starting Monday, so let that inspire you to at least put down the fucking chocolate eclair and go outside.  This will also lead to about 1,000 new cases of STD’s accross the nation, well with all the action everyones gonna get being all ripped n shit.  Oh and Scott Greenstein gets mad pussy yo!



Wall-E also enjoys a snowball now and then


So this lady found a video of her boyfriend fucking another chic, and posted the sex tape online to get revenge, but only ended up fucking herself over.  Ever wonder what happened to Bill the Scorpion?  Yeah me either, but he called the show from heaven.  Yeah he’s dead now and chillin with 2-pack up there, so there is a ghetto in heaven, good to know.  Sounds like heaven as made Bill a little less racist, but still irritable as all fuck.  He gave a shout out to the communists, butt chuggers and amish out there “Die Mutherfuckers!”  Love that guy and in case your not sure who Bill the Scorpion is, just ask Cumtard and he’ll break it down for you, along with what Red Dragons means and anything else  you need to know, love that guy too.  In case your not sure Bill’s dead, just ask Tully or Will and find out for yourself, the hard way!  While your at it, ask Jizz Cult about the black widow scare of ’88, or the bed bug massacre in ’92, crazy shit man.  Just don’t go pissing Shiny Shins off though, or end up like these two girls parents, just for not letting them use the internet.  And finally, if you’ve ever wanted to be Asian, Bob’s your uncle.


Shit Sully LOOK OUT!!!

Shit Sully LOOK OUT!!!


Russia has declared beer to no longer be part of their food pyramid, but Vodka is still a key to any nutritious diet.  So what advice can the show give to teens out there struggling to make it in this crazy world?  How about kill yourself, which was the answer to the majority of such questions as “My girlfriend gets mad I rollerblade” or “My friend has keeps having crushes on the same guys I like”….yeah just fucking off yourself.  One chic was dating a cowboy, cause mom said cowboys are fucking hot, and dude beats her and does drugs n shit, yeah she should probably just kill her mom.  So should this other teen bitch whos got a 25year old sister with a little rug rat, sleeping in her room at her parents house cause she ain’t got a job or a life.  Anyways, back to the kill yourself people….Can I get pregnant with my underwear on…..can I get pregnant by swallowing load….I am a teen girl and want a baby – ok especially this bitch!  You get the drift, some funny shit if you wanna go back n check it out.  If you do, be sure to stick around for the bitch whos on her 16th day of heavy menstruation, its a hoot!


You maybe wanna get that shit checked out lady


New Adventure’s with Danny and the Dingo Cumtard everybody.  Every time that Kevin fucks up on the show, Ellis is going to torture him.  So today’s torture was the ol’ hot waxing the armpits, but while Cumtard made little kitty cat noises.  This go around they didn’t have the professional shit that ladt brought in, but just some store bought shit that wasn’t the same, but Cumtard persevered thanks to his meds he’s back on.  They make it harder for him to blow his load, but they keep him leveled out.  He’s also cut back on drinking as well, good on ya mate!!!  Andy Dick on the other hand doesn’t drink at all anymore, and also came by the show to spit on Tully Sully and Rawdog Mandog for old time sake.  He also came bearing gifts of 2% of the US is adopted, and 40% of crazy people in mental homes are adopted, fuck.  Then it hit him, Andy Dick has been on The Jason Ellis Show before.  He remembers someone smoking weed in the parking lot of swinghouse, probably Mandog I’m sure.  Anyways, Andy stopped in to tell Ellis how awesome his show is and that the Dick is now dating guys exclusively, 5 to be exact.  He’s also kinda bummed that Howard Stern hates him and wishes he could get a minute with him to apologize.  A big heart to heart between Jason Ellis, Andy Dick, Michael Sully and of course Mandog, eventually leading to one key point in all this, if you adopt a child, you MUST read them “Our Chosen Child“, or roll your dice on those percentages Andy gave you earlier.




In tribute to Andy Dick’s relationship status, Ellis decided to knock the dust of a classic, ‘Dude Is It Gay’.  Before that though, Mandog’s stories of circle jerking it and snowballing came up, to which the idea of swallowing your own load made even Andy throw up in his mouth.  You disgust me Mandog, but you also entertain me so its cool bro!  The circle jerk however really caught Andy’s interest, so much so he plans to stop by the show more often to hear more jewels from his cuddly little friend.  Well that and the chance to meet Thomas Haden Church, who wouldn’t want to be a friend of the show?  Back to Dude Is It Gay, and it is gay to get molested for 6 flags tickets, and to be peed on by any dude, famous R&B star or not.  A new twist to Dude Is It Gay this time, twitter questions.  “Dude is it gay if I tweet @ellismate gay?” is the gayest question ever asked on the show, twitter or phone.  Its not gay to clip your fingernails, but Mike Sully is flaming gay for cutting his with scissors, then using a file to get them just right.  @stapleneck is gay for every and any eskibro he issues, and everything @mike_in_canada tweeted is super Gandalf gay.  Oh shit that reminds me, earlier Sully did a story on some kid who tried to rob a store, and called his mom for a ride home…….but she couldn’t answer as she was in the middle of a pterodactyl with @AZ_RedDragon, @bitPimps and yours truly, OH!


Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/5/2012

Aw Shit – The Remix!

Dude, its totally Wednesday, and I totally party….do you like to party? Ellis can party his ass off, since he ain’t having heart attacks while pumping iron at the wing’s gym like he thought he was yesterday.  Good shit to know, that and he wears leggings.  Sounds like Ellismate’s knee is working again, just in time to get shredded and fuck some models.  Speaking of fat bitches, is there such a thing as a 400 lb. lady with a skinny child?  Who cares, what’s really important is if you are cool being seen with said fat bitch, if the sex is good of course.  Tully is/was, and of course his boys hated on him, but how’d they’re book rank on the New York Times Best Seller List?  Apparently the Metal Militia tent at the X games is the spot to snag you a keeper just FYI!  Meanwhile, Rawdog has dumb taste buds, hates spinach, and is Down With The Sickness.  In fact, did you know Disturbed wrote that tune about the illustrious Illusionist?  Straight into UFC on FOX this weekend, and Ellis’s ass is taking on your mom so check it out.  Conveniently, Manny Pacquiao is fighting this weekend too with some free preliminary fights on some shit channel, but not against Floyd Mayweather as he is still ducking!  Both of those cock suckers top the Forbes list of highest paid athletes.  Then Rawdog told us a tale, of him opening his front door to numerous chics, one of which was that hot chic he thought he had a date lined up with, and taking shots with these chics in his kitchen.  The story lead to the club, doesn’t it always, with Rawdog’s roommate joining him and the 4 ladies on a 45 minute walk, only to stand in a two block long line.  The story ends with the hot chic that Rawdog is fond of, walking off with his roommate, and Josh being left uncomfortably with the 3 remaining chics.  He left and went home, the end!


      Happy Holidays from the assholes at NoYouAre!


In Hollywood News, you only have 8 days left to bid on a day with The Jason Ellis Show and a trip to the strip club of your choice.  If your not a dick, Ellis n Tully may even splooge splurge on a lap dance for ya!  John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John released their sex tape……how else was I gonna get you to click that fucking link, its just a shitty Xmas video she forced him to do at gun point.  One of those little punks from Home Improvement got a DUI.  The Olsen twins are at it again, with a new $55K backpack thats got PETA and local drug dealers pissed.  Meanwhile, in other Hollywood News, in Portugal, Anderson Cooper’s eyes are as pussy as he is.  Oh and if your in Kentucky, vote for Ashley Judd to be your Senator.  Onto one of today’s guest, Mia Isabella 2011 XBIZ/URBANX TS Performer of The Year, in the studio to help the kids.  Honestly, she sucks on the radio like most of us would, but she had a good cause and it led to a pretty funny game.  First, she’s repping little kids who need shoes, at some event tonight at Mickys, but I didn’t get much more than that.  Of course Ellis has more swing than she does, and got Globe to hook it up with a few pairs to help the kiddies.  And onto the game, with Cumtard of course, that involved him drinking champagne out of each person’s shoe, either off their foot or brought from home.  5 shoes total, one each from Ellis, Tully, Rawdog, Mia and Jizz Cult all filled with some shitty $3 bottle of New Year’s finest.  Cumtard was able to guess two shoes correctly, those of Mia and Ellismate.  Of course he wasn’t able to nail the “Grainy” tasting shoe of Jizz Cult, or “Fucking gross” shoe of Rawdog, and certainly not the Athlete’s Foot infested shoe of one Tully McTullyvich. Of course everyone is a winner, Mia’s cause got some shoes donated, Ellis got radio gold, Tully got the cock of his foot, Rawdog didn’t really win shit and Cumtard won the rest of the bottle of bubbly.  Here’s to $425 gold pills that make your shit glitter, and to Kenny, whoever the fuck that is.



           Ya Heard Me

So we found out that Rolling Stone magazine is comprised of a bunch of white dudes who think Sir Mix-A-Lot still has legitimate street cred. They posted a sneak peek of 5 of their Top 50 hip-hop songs of all time.  I personally am a huge fan of rap and this list ain’t awful, but is clearly based on historical importance as opposed to overall song quality, but what the fuck do I know…..that this bitch here is nasty – been fucking her dog for 13 years now.  As if fucking little kids isn’t enough, Penn State is at it again, only fucking Mexicans over now with racism.  Rawdog was at it again, saying he hates China cause they got small areolas, and he’s got a point.  Meanwhile, this dude got forced to do home repairs at gunpoint in San Jose, the New Jersey of San Francisco.  The New York Post is catching shit for posting a photo of a dude about to get creamed by a subway train on the cover.  Breaking news:  Today, December 5th, 2012 on the Jason Ellis Show, Rawdog was correct!  Mark it down, it don’t happen that often folks.




Come on, who’s gonna notice…

Bert McCracken was today’s other guest, dropping in fashionably late.  This dude is just about the definition of a rock star, and a listener to the Ellis show, or a huge smoke blower.  He’s fresh out of rehab and sober now, and also not allowed in Canada for the next 10 years, Red Dragons!  The Used will be playing in the 2013 Take Action Tour so get it up ya.  For today though, its ‘Get The Cock Of Your Chest’ with Blasko Bert McCracken.  If your a fan, go check the intro to this shit, Smokin’ Load Frazier for days crack.  Bert was kind enough to start us off, with a tale of a chic giving him a BJ, then demanding he pay her $80 after completion.  Sounds like a Sunday afternoon for Ellis, but 6 of one, half dozen of the other.  Bert did Dr. Drew some dude who jerks it in front of unknowing strangers on the internet.  Some literal sex offender called in about old ladies, fuck that guy.  Another dude was dropping loads into a MILF’s shampoo bottle.  A teacher pooped in some kids book bag, ya know the usual shit.  We did have a chef war between Bert and Tully, neither backing down to defeat.  Some other dude called in saying he used to eat a ton of oatmeal, and spray it all out his ass into big cup, and then piss and cum in said cup, and your mom would drink it, shit that out and drink that…..wait shit I never got through to the show, OH!