Show Recap for Thursday 8/7/2014

Well…after all that went on, or rather didn’t go on in the last hour of the show yesterday (you know…the 40 minutes of show that didn’t happen because of all that contract gobbledegook) one of the big questions of the day was sort of…will there even BE a show today? Well…there was, which is why I am here, because I am going to recap that show that went on today as best as I can…which should be pretty okay considering I had no app issues, my laptop seems to be cooperating, I’m actually at home before 11:30, and my kid is tucked in bed (and looks like he’s about to pass out, so I’m pretty sure my bases are covered). So, getting right into it…Welcome to The Jason Ellis Show Thursday Recap, I’m your host, Jenny!!! Woo! Lots of applause and maybe some applesauce because I can’t think of one without the other when I’m typing it!!! Woo!!! Applesauce!! Except not..applesauce is gross. I mean, I’m sure it’s delicious…it’s a texture thing. I can’t get over it.

Anywhoo…..Ellis opens up the show and is all “Hey, I’m here” and there was a collective sigh of relief…probably. For anyone who missed the show intro, at least. He dove right into the whole ‘who knew whether or not we’d be here cause, man, contracts, am I right’ and informed all the listeners that he and Tully will at least be around on The Jason Ellis Show on SiriusXM for another 30 days because he’s signed another one of those contract extension dealies while (supposedly) the rest of the details of the contract get hammered out. He talks about how he’s sure that, in the end, it will all work out one way or another, although it seems like he may be having to make more concessions than originally planned. Overall, He and Tully agree that there are still some sleepless nights ahead of them both and man, can they not wait for all of this contract bullshit to be over with so they can go back to just doing a radio show. I bet the rest of us really can’t wait for this contract bullshit to be over with either, because I don’t know about the rest of you people out there in the US and Canada, but this shit has me way more on edge than I’d like. Probably because, for so many of us, The Jason Ellis Show is way more than just a show. Are you listening SiriusXM? Seriously…I have to question where I would be in life right now if it weren’t for this show…the support from Ellisfam, the kindness shown to me by all of you guys, the other guys on this TJES dedicated site, Jude, and the doors that all of this has opened for me…I don’t know where I’d be. Ellis is building his Empire and he welcomes the hard work, stress, and sleepless nights with open arms at this point, because it’s all going to be worth it in the end, and there is no blocking out the sun. Ellis is the sun, for those of you who work the night shift.

Ellis does share that he woke up this morning and was feeling a lot better physically…his stomach doesn’t hurt, he was able to eat breakfast, he shadow boxed a little bit while he was at the Spa, and thank freaking god for that, because he’s coming out to NYC sometime next week to talk contract shit and he didn’t think that he’d be able to get through the trip if he was feeling all shitty still. He also called up his money manager person last night and let her know that he was blowing off some steam with his credit card at the sex shop and it wasn’t a discussion, just a ‘heads up’ and the money manager person who tries to help Ellis from going broke all of the time knows about all the stress and didn’t try to enforce any limits on him, just went “lol heads up” and Ellis and Katie were off to the sex shop where among other things, he purchased a wolf mask for katie, some pants, and a sex swing that doesn’t have to be bolted in to the wall. Ellis has also been watching some dungeony torturey porns lately trying to pick up tips and he says that there are some of them that are really good, and some of the things that he sees goes on he’s really into and other things not so much, and if he could just pick and choose that seems way more up his alley. Tully jokes about how he’s pretty sure that there are dungeons he could go where he’s be able to kind of tell them what he was in to and they would listen to him, but then there may be other places where you straight up are made into some dungeon mistress’ bitch for an hour and then you thank her and are on your way, so it’s probably better to avoid any dungeons that happen to be on yachts and in international waters. The guys in the green room still haven’t been able to get their hands on a Fist of Adonis- like hammer fist dildo and Ellis chews out Kevin a bit for it, and informs him that there was one at the shop he was at last night and maybe he should hit google on his iphone a little harder since Katie found it in about 25 seconds.

A caller calls the show with a question about Ellismania happening this year and Ellis says it, once again, there is not going to be an Ellismania this year. He’s bummed that there won’t be one this year, but he says that it’s going to occur at the beginning of 2015 and it’s going to be great because there is a real production company involved because he really cares about it getting done right. Live Nation is the company who is getting behind it this time, and I’ve been to one of their events and they seem pretty legit, so let’s all keep our fingers crossed that they have enough people to make sure that there are chairs for a musical chair fight and a pinata for the pinata fight. Ellis goes on a bit of a reminisce about how Ellismania got started at the Hard Rock (EM3) and how it could not have happened if not for him squeezing every dime he could out of his sponsors, and especially had Chad Reed not contributed $5000 of his own dollars. Seriously…that’s a lot of money to put into something where there is no payoff and where no one is making any money. Thank you, Chad Reed. Ellis did say that before the end of the year there would be a HorseForce performance in NYC and a Wolfknives with Wolfknives Models shindig at The Roosevelt, and he really does want to plan some sort of little event like the Cricket Match so he can hang with the fans. So far as the cricket match goes, he puts it on us, so start a tweeting and instagramming where and when there should be an Ellisfam Cricket Match!!!

Back from the first break Tully brings us some MMA News, and thankfully since there were no fights I didn’t have to listen to Kenda giggle incessantly about nothing for the entire time and get angry on behalf of intelligent females everywhere. And yeah, that’s a dig, and no I’m not saying that I think she’s not an intelligent person as I do not know her, but she really sounds like a moron and it grates on me. If she could stop the whole ‘giggle to begin and end every sentence and in response to anything said to her’ thing I’d get back on board, because when she first started calling in it never bothered me. It took a few weeks for it to build up and make me frown at the radio, but now I find her completely insufferable. Anywayyyyy….Kyle Kingsbury, who has retired from the UFC after being thrashed by Patrick Cummins in UFC12 has come out of the ayahuasca closet basically blaming his loss in that fight to his use of the plant medicine that Aubrey Marcus has informed us all of, but that it’s okay because it made him a happier person. Interesting angle for sure. There was also a bit in there about how he had been told by the UFC to keep the inner peace talk to himself because it made him sound crazy, but he’s talking about it now since he’s retired, and that’s cool. It’s good to be cool. Speaking of retired UFC guys, Tully plays a clip of an up and coming SpikeTV show called Gym Rescue featuring Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock and it sounds like there is a lot of yelling involved, and Ellis and Tully both think that it’s a show that they would like to watch and maybe even follow for Show purposes. Tully makes a comment about getting the duo on the show to talk up Gym Rescue and there is silence from the Green Room, so Ellis starts talking about how they should just get the number and maybe call them on air, because Ellis is sometimes also the producer of his own show. Ellis brings up that there may be assault charges of some form being brought about because of the fistfight between Daniel Cormier and Crazy Bones Jones at a publicity stop in Vegas for their upcoming actual sanctioned fight, but Tully pulls an ‘I don’t know’ because Ellis is getting his info from the people over at TMZ and they can’t always be trusted to not sensationalize things. Ellis also brings up that Holly Holm has signed on with the UFC and people are already calling for her to fight Ronda Rousey, but that’s kind of bullshit because she hasn’t had one UFC fight yet and shouldn’t immediately get thrown in for a title fight. Holly Holm, however, does seem to be the new lady talk of the town because she is a great striker and Ellis is sure to mention that he saw a video of her kicking an opponent in the face and then punching her while she was still down because she is an animal. There is some talk back and forth between Tully and Ellis about who is next to fight Rousey, and whether the Cyborg fight is gonna happen, and why the hell is Cat Zingano not definitely the next person that Ronda is fighting?

Onto some Hollywood News, Tully informs us that Marianne Faithfull (who boned Rod Stewart and Mick Jagger when she was hot and didn’t look like a penguin) has come forward in an interview to say that her ex-boyfriend sold Jim Morrison the heroin that killed him back in the day and that it was an accident. This, of course, can’t be substantiated as Morrison’s body was never autopsied. There seems to be talk around town of a Mike Tyson Biopic which will be starring Jamie Foxx and Ellis, at first, doesn’t seem too fond of the idea, but comes around once he realizes…what other actor could really play Tyson other than Jamie Foxx? Tyler Perry really isn’t big enough, although Wendy Williams could throw her hat in the ring because she’s fabulous. Speaking of Hollywood and Movies, Tully is excited to announce that Filmmaker Neil Bomkamp and Ninja and Yo-Landi Vi$$er of Die Antwood have finished filming a new movie called Chappie, because he is slightly in love with Yo-landi and he is sure that it will be his favorite movie of all time. Neil Blomkamp, for those of you who don’t know, is the man behind District 9 and Elysium (both movies that Ellis loved) and he’s kind of helping to put South Africa on the map in a good way. In other big H news, Sly Stallone is talking about extending the Expendables franchise to some new movies called the Expendabelles featuring females who have been prominent in action roles over the past however long, and Ellis is not all that pumped on that idea because Old Lady faces only tell sad stories. I mean, really, the short list for that movie has to be the shortest short list of all times, unless they are really going to expand their definition of female action hero. All I’m coming up with is the Terminator Chick and Alien Chick. As Hollywood Movies are going down the toilet anywhere, there are rumors in Hollywood that there is to be a third Ghostbusters movie featuring All Female Ghostbusters comprised of Hollywood Funny Women and…I’m all for girl power…but what…did the guys sign the Ghostbusters over to one of their daughters or something? How is that gonna work? Rounding out Hollywood News there is some talk about Terminator 5: Genisys which is the title and spelling that is making everyone on Twitter go insane because twitter needs to lose its shit on something new every 5 seconds, and Kanye West giving a deposition about some paparazzi fight where he walked about downed paparazzi drones possibly electrocuting his 1 year old daughter and sky-rocketing himself to the top of the list of contenders for The Dumbest Rich Person in the World.

Back from the break there is a guest…well…a guest and soon to be a couple more guests in the studio! The main guest is Amy Purdy, a pro-snowboarder, Para Olympian, who is also a motivational speaker and was first runner up on Dancing With The Stars. Earlier in the show Ellis had mentioned that she was going to be on the show and he was pumped on it because Devin really liked her and was a fan of her on DWTS and he and Tully looked up her Instagram and talked about how beautiful she was and the possibility that Daddy could be cool in Daddy’s eyes for 3 seconds because she is in the midst of a serious ‘My dad is not cool’ phase. But anyway, Amy Purdy is on the show and she is a straight up delight. I really enjoyed her time on the show. She talked about how she lost her legs at 19 due to Bacterial Meningitis along with both of her kidneys and her spleen, but was able to overcome it and turned to Snowboarding as a profession (she previously had only done it as a hobby) because after she lost her legs, she wanted to find a way to use her legs. Damn. She talked about how it was being on DWTS and how it was more challenging than she had even imagined because it was an intense 3 months where she danced for six hours a day and not only had to learn a new dance every week like the rest of the contestants, but had to go through the process of how to figure out which prosthetic legs would work for each of the dances. It was interesting to hear about how she coordinated not only with her dance partner, but with the company who produces her prosthetic legs and the doctor who fit them to get a pair of legs that would enable her to perform every dance. At one point during the interview Devin and Tiger showed up at the studio so Devin could meet Amy and tell Ellis on air that she was not impressed by him and didn’t love him. And that part really broke my heart. I mean…I understand how kids are and how they can be, but I never personally went through the whole ‘My dad is lame’ phase and I was basically crying to Hubbs about that for a second. Ellis rolled with the punches though, as he does (and also because he’s her father and he knows that she loves him) and continued the interview with kid interruptions like a champ. Amy talked about her future plans, including publishing a book with Harper Collins (who published Ellis’ books) which is already finished and was written in 6 weeks, how she has a clothing line with Element, and how she is going on tour with Oprah. THE Oprah. Ellis asked Amy if she was single and she told him that she wasn’t, but that her boyfriend Daniel was a big fan of the show and listened every single day. Hi Daniel!!!! Lucky guy, I’d say, because she really seems like a cool lady with a good head on her shoulders. I was definitely feeling very inspired by the end of the interview and advise anyone who feels like they had a bad day to listen to it On Demand. I’ve been in a teensy slump and listening to her was a swift kick in the bum…I mean…she was living a happy, normal life, thought she had the flu, went to the hospital and went into a friggin coma for 3 weeks, woke up and heard she had to have her legs amputated and some organs taken out and that she may still die…and she just kept going. She just kept going. And she turned her life into something fucking amazing. Great guest!!! I hope she comes back to watch Sting Pong and promote her book!!!

Back from the break, Tully talks about how there is a serious deficit of things they can talk about with the kids around and brings up some science myths that everyone believes but are untrue like people only using 10 percent of their brains and there being a dark side of the moon. They then get talking about an article he found about poop and thongs and women wearing thongs and g-strings and how maybe women shouldn’t since apparently most women walk around with shit stained strings up their bum at all times and Ellis is so not into the article, but they talk about it for way longer than they should anyway. Ellis and Tully are both part of the camp that believes g-strings have a purpose and shouldn’t be worn absolutely all of the time and women should invest in some undies. Nascar Mike calls the show to talk about a patent pending invention he has that velcro’s to g-strings to keep them from getting stained by bum juice because his wife has that problem and he doesn’t like her in ‘grannie panties’…and I just want to say, sorry Nascar Mike the big companies all already make panty liners for thongs and g-strings and just because it’s not a string up your ass doesn’t mean it’s a grannie pantie. Seriously. That pisses me off. I enjoy thongs a lot…Hubbs loves when I wear thongs…but I don’t exclusively wear them and I also do not own a single pair of grannie panties. Grannie panties are briefs for women. There are a whole range of other cuts that are not grannie panties. So if you’re a man who walks around saying there’s thongs and there’s granny panties…please crack the spine of a victoria’s secret catalogue and educate yourself.

Finishing up the show Ellis and Tully play a game with the guys of the green room- Will, Jetta, Cumtard, and HotDog, which is kind of a spin on 3 truths and a lie. Basically, a true statement is read from a sheet of paper and Ellis and Tully have 3 questions each to ask whichever of the Green Roomers they like to help figure out which of them the statement applies to. All four of the Green Roomers have to answer as though the statement applies to them and Ellis and Tully have to try and figure out which person the statement is about. I don’t know if there was an overall winner of this game between Ellis and Tully, but in my opinion, HotDog owned this game. Not only did we learn some things about him, but he completely managed to bamboozle Ellis to the point where Ellis thought everything was about HotDog but nothing was about HotDog and it was funny. HotDog walked away with a new catch phrase- ‘Loved It’, and Ellis learned a lot about Jetta. Here is what we learned during that game:
HotDog: threw a kid off of the jungle gym and broke his arm while trying to get to the slide, was suspended from school for mooning classes during finals, used to eat detention slips in front of the principal, and had his older brother Joey wipe his ass for years after he was potty trained
Cumtard: had a psychiatrist as a child who constantly asked him how often he masturbated and if he wanted to wrestle and when he finally admitted to masturbating- his DR. asked him if he ate it, was the Nephew in Law of Matthew Broderick, and saw ‘Look Who’s Talking’ 7 times in the theater because he was in love with Kirstie Allie.
Jetta: was barred from 8th grade graduation after being caught stealing a carnival prize by an undercover cop, took a cocktail of anti-anxiety meds before sneaking into a music festival, and played World of Warcraft for 3 years.
Will: Voiced a DJ in an x-rated video game called Bone Town.

After that there were final calls that weren’t very earth shattering, but the final final caller, or the ‘Don’t Die-er’ told a quick anecdote about how while he and his wife were trying to conceive their Doctor advised them to go to a sperm bank (which i’m guessing is for in-vitro) and when he and his wife went, his ex- whom his wife absolutely despised- was the technician there to accept his sample, so he had to jerk off into a cup and hand it to his ex, and have his wife be mad at him for something that he could not possibly control. Women…am i right?

Things we learned on TJES today:

Devin fractured her finger at Catalina

Ellis filmed a testimonial for Speed Weed last night and got paid in free weed

Tully likes going to shitty liquor stores

Old Man Sweat is cold because they’re basically half dead

It took $20 grand for Ellismania 3 to get green lit by The Hard Rock

Ellis ordered Skateboard stuff today and couldn’t remember what he needed

Coonan MaGrubey gets turned on by the scent of fear

Neverland Ranch is for sale

Jim Morrissey may have tried to have the head of his fan site killed

Visit to make sure the charity you give your money to actually does charitable things with your money

The Waltz was one of the hardest dances for Amy Purdy on DWTS because it involves a lot of ankle movement and she doesn’t have those

Amy Purdy is the founder of the Non-Profit Adaptive Active Sports

When Oprah called Amy Purdy she sing-songed “It’s Oprah”

Tiger is scared of being in the studio when he should be scared of being in the Green Room

The Flintstones are evil if you are religious

Ellis looked into HotDog’s soul and saw his ass

Dropping a penny off a building won’t kill a person, but a marble probably will

Katie is in the club and can’t get out cause she wiped Tiger’s butt

Tully’s son’s bff at daycare says goodbye to him, gives him a hi-five, and kisses him on the mouth

It’s a brave new world



That’s all I have for you folks!!! Except for that it’s after midnight and officially BroBro’s Birthday!!!!! Happy 31st you old man!!!!! I love you to itty bits!!!

Meeting My Man Crush- Diary of a Fangirl

This is the worst pic of me ever...but Hubbs and Jude are amazing

This is the worst pic of me ever…but Hubbs and Jude are amazing

It’s been a couple of days since I got to go to SiriusXM in Manhattan and hang out with Rude Jude and to be completely honest…I am still in complete superhappygiddysillybitch mode and am currently spending my days half spaced out reliving the entire experience. From declaring him my #mcm to finding out he was in The City (because that’s what we call it in New York- it’s The City, not New York City) to the DM sesh that held the invite of a lifetime to trudging through the gray slurpee (that’s all Jude btw) that Manhattan is in a snow storm, being on The All Out Show, and hanging with Jude and Hubbs afterward…it was one of the best nights of my life!! No exaggeration. I know of precious few other situations where I could have freezing, soaking wet feet for 8 hours and not even think about being cranky over it.

Where to begin?!?!?!?! In proper story-telling style, and in order to fill in the blanks for those of you who may have not been following the saga (wtf is wrong with you for not examining my life under a microscope, by the way), I will start from the beginning. I was born in 1987…just kidding, really bad joke, I know, but see above re: superhappygiddysillybitch mode.

I first realized I had a crush on Jude over the summer. I didn’t think of it as any big thing, because I like to think of myself as a grown up and everything…but then Jack the Cunt was premiered on TJES and I was basically done for. Or so I thought. Thennnn…I found out Mr. Jude Angelini penned a book by the name of Hyena, which I read (allegedly 4 times to date), and I was truly done for. I smile like an idiot every Tuesday when he is on the show, which makes Hubbs look at me like I am either slightly insane or acting more weird than usual. Imagine my glee when I got an email about NYA doing an interview with new author Rude Jude. I squealed, emailed everyone that I had a crush on him, and went to sleep hoping I would wake up with interview worthy questions. The following monday I bit the bullet and made him my Man Crush Monday on Instagram. He noticed. Then, about two weeks later, he was flying out to New York to do some promoting for Hyena, and that’s where the adventure really begins.

well...this is awkward

well…this is awkward

I nearly exploded last Monday when he told me that I was “more than welcome” to come by the show. That may not even accurately describe my reaction, but I’m trying to play it cool over here, which is something that I suck at. I talked it over with Hubbs, trying to see if it would be possible with work and all (people’s heat likes to break a lot when it snows…and then they get all twitchy about freezing to death) but we decided that, Fuck It, this isn’t something that happens every day and we were going to make it work. I told Jude that I would love to come, he told me that Hubbs was absolutely invited to hang as well, and we figured out the best day and time. I spent Monday through Wendesday night pestering Hubbs that we HAD to leave work EXACTLY on time because, of course, we were getting hit by a snow storm on Thursday and there was NO WAY we were going to be late. No. Way.

such a geek

such a geek

So, yeah…we were late. Super late. I spent the entire morning cursing every snow flake that fell (they weren’t even flakes…they were full on balls…snowman sized balls falling from the fucking sky), double checking the train schedule for delays (because driving to The City at that point was out of the question) and reminding Hubbs that we had to leave EXACTLY ON TIME!!!! I really don’t know how he puts up with my OCD sometimes- the man is a saint. We left work exactly on time.

I'm smiling like an idiot...and so is he (for him)

I’m smiling like an idiot…and so is he (for him)

But the train was delayed. And then it was converted into a local train instead of an express train. SiriusXM is only about 15 blocks from Penn Station, which is nothing, so we hauled ass through calf-deep puddles of dirty, slushy, frozen snow/water grossness and made it there in decent time. I was pretty sure that they wouldn’t let me in the building with my soaking wet feet, but they didn’t spend too much time looking at my feet. I think they were rather distracted by the giant bodyguard that I had along with me. SiriusXM is in a posh building that doesn’t boast the fact that there is a studio inside of it at all, and the lobby just has a handful of guards who stare daggers at you while you walk to the security desk. It was easier getting backstage in Carnegie Hall. They let us upstairs eventually, where we were waylaid by another guy behind a desk, but after some phone calls and DM’s and me checking the time about 7 thousand times, Jude came out to get us.

It. Was. Awesome. He said hi and we all shook hands and he led us back to Shade45’s studio, which is a glass walled high tech wonderdome ensconsed by a dark burgandy purplish curtain. We said hi to Lord Sear and Jude asked why we didn’t have New York accents since we were from New York, but seemed more satisfied that the more we talked the more he could hear it. Hubbs talked to Jude and Sear about the equipment while I sat in awe and wanted to pinch myself because, holy shit, this was really happening. He asked about how I got started with No You Are, and asked about my Filterlessness blog and thanked us for coming down. When it was time for them to get back on air Jude pushed my seat toward the mic pointed to the headphones and told me to “get ready”. I almost pissed myself. Secret time- I’m charming and fearless as fuck on social media, but I’m a fluffy bunny in real life. I don’t talk a lot in front of people I don’t know and I was about to go on air.

holy crap...nervous!!

holy crap…nervous!!

It was a whirlwind. It went so fast and so slow at the same time. We talked about No You Are, my blog, sex, how scary Hubbs looks, sex, sex, and more sex. Needless to say…my daddy will NEVER hear that audio. Ever. I didn’t even want to hear it because I hate the sound of my own voice. Off-air Jude talked about Hyena, about how he spends his days on Twitter and Instagram doing everything that he can to promote the shit out of it, and how he was going to hook up with a hot foreign porn chick later that night. Awesome.

After the show ended he asked what we were up to, if we were gonna hang around in The City at all, and recommended that if we wanted a good Italian spot for dinner we should check out the Olive Garden. Apparently, he loves that joke. We told him we were gonna hang around and have some fun because, why not, and he said he’d walk around with us for a while. First he took us to see Cullen, but Cullen wasn’t there anymore, and Jude told Hubbs to sit in his seat and take a picture to send to him.

Hubbs at Cullen's desk

Hubbs at Cullen’s desk

We laughed about it and I pointed out a rad RDS sticker on the side of his desk, which made Jude ask, “What’s with the Red Dragons thing?” Hubbs told him to ask Ellis, but Jude thought it was disrespectful that he didn’t know anything about it. And he hasn’t read ‘I’m Awesome’. Hubbs explained the whole ‘Red Dragons thing’ and…I didn’t talk much. I think I had my fill on the air. Hubbs, however, didn’t want to be on air all that much, but is a social butterfly so while we walked through Manhattan he and Jude talked about his voice “It’s from smoking too many cigarettes and acid reflux”, riding crotch rockets (Jude doesn’t but Hubbs was trying to convince him to try it out), the gray slurpee that the streets were, promoting Hyena, Ellisfam, how Hubbs and I met and how long we’ve been together, the Bub, everything. Jude talked about deciding to self publish because he didn’t want his book to be changed due to its content in order to please a big publisher and I actually chimed in to say that overall it was a smart idea because publishers care about marketability and a books ability to sell, and with Hyena selling out three times so far on Amazon he’s proving that he has selling power. It then occurred to Jude to ask why we hadn’t brought a copy of Hyena to be signed by him…and well…we hadn’t received our Valentine’s editions (because we ordered 2 so we didn’t have to share- can you feel the love?) and because I’m slightly moronic when I’m a bag of nerves and when I was cleaning out my bag before catching the train I left Hyena in the truck. But, for me, I just have a good reason to bug him in the future. Oh, by the way, if you follow Hyena and Jude as closely as I do, you may know that there were supposed to be three new stories in the Valentine’s Edition and they aren’t there. Jude told me when I said we had ordered the V-day copies because I was excited for the new stories that there were some technical difficulties and he wasn’t able to upload them, which is sad, but…honestly…I’m a writer (I want nothing more in life than to achieve some measure of writing success) and buying two more copies of a book that I already own to support another writer is nbd to me.

Jude for President

Jude for President

We parted ways with Jude downtown after Hubbs gave him a couple ideas of places to go with the chick he was meeting. Jude and Hubbs did that bro hug thing where you’re shaking hands, hi-fiving, and hugging all at once (and I’ll never understand it…just hug…no homo) and Jude gave me a hug and we all told each other that meeting each other was awesome. It still seems crazy how excited Jude really seemed to meet Hubbs and I, and the whole night and experience has left me with the impression that, like Ellis, he is a man who cares about his fans and is truly thankful for them. He even told me that he doesn’t hate on his Instagram doppleganger- so long as that motherfucker promotes Hyena. He loves Ellis, he loves Ellisfam, and he gave Hubbs a night that we will never forget.

So Blurry...sorrynotsorry

So Blurry…sorrynotsorry

Hubbs and I stayed in The City for a few hours afterward, and I won’t bore you with the details because…yeesh…this was long…but I will tell you that when we went to dinner at a wonderful hole in the wall restaurant known only as ‘BBQ- The Original’ the people at the table next to us were talking about the All Out Show. Boom.

Big thanks to Rude Jude and Lord Sear for the good time!!!! It was amazing!!!


P.S. At least this nonsense went over sooooooooo much better than when I met Ellis a couple of years ago. My brobro was kind enough to remind me of that meeting yesterday (which is necessary since I was mostly too drunk to remember that Ellis humped me for a full half-minute before I realized it was him…only to turn and say I had thought he was Hubbs…and omg your show is awesome and I love Joe)


Best of Re-Cap for Friday 3/22/2013

Well hello boys n girls. Its your uncle Ghostload speaking, and if you can read this, dude get a fucking life.  Speaking of getting a life, your mom is and old school tool from before I could drool.  Bitch be so dumb, sticks n stones be insulting her, OH!  Nah but seriously, we here at the No You Are clinic do care a great deal about your mom…’s snatch and ass hole, plus she could suck the rust of an ’83 El Camino that’s been in the back yard since ’84, cause she did!  Well I don’t know about you, but I personally have a strong interest in your mom, I mean besides the fact bitch better have my money, she’s also your mom, and I like you!  I was doing a little research into your mom, no not “In to” your mom, not this time – No I mean real research and I noticed a bit of a downward spiral in her life since we first commented on her back in  January of 2012.  Hell just think that was just over a year ago, and to think where she is now, in fact if you know where she is, hit me on twitter @wiz1010 cause like I said, Bitch Better Have My Money!  Anyways, here’s a month by month breakdown on just how far the bitch, i mean your mom the bitch, has fallen – Enjoy……….


Monday, January 23, 2012 As I mentioned above, this is the first time your mom was mentioned, and at her height I might add, hob slob-knobbing with former Passenger 57 mega-super-broke-star what’s his name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012 If we were charting this in graph format, not only would we be a bunch of fucking nerds, but the curve would be on the upward.  Today may be the greatest day of your mom’s life.  Today is not only Chad Reed day, well really yeah its just Chad Reed day!

Probably Your Mom's Best Feature - Her Lovely Hair

Probably Your Mom’s Best Feature – Her Lovely Hair

Friday, March 16, 2012 Ah yes, your mom is still fresh on the scene, appearing with none other than Die Antwoord cause yes, I fink your mom freaky!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Ok, so remember the graph, yeah were on the “downward slope” as they call it, well they also call it that cause when you go in your mom’s vage you immediately fall downward into the pussy, hence the term!  Anyways today was the gruesome story of the day your mom started hooking, shocking but true!

Ain’t she a beauty! Though I admit I like her hair longer.

Wednesday, March 30, 2012 Ok now she’s just a fucking bitch, I mean using the SiriusXM phone app is hard enough with it fucking sucking balls n all, but now we find out the truth about the Sirius phone app and your mom – stupid cunt whore oh and your mom is a moronic jizz cunt!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012 John in Houston, we have lift off!  Your mom and the extinction of big foot?  You’d better start keeping your eyes out and your cocks covered from here on out kids!

Look at those tig ol bitties right there boy! DAMN!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 Now your mom hates the gays.  Today, sadly enough was the day we had “The bet between evil Chick-fil-a and your even more eviler mom” dun dun dun!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2012 Now look, I’m not a fan of beating up your mom.  Its only cause she’s into the shit really that I do it.  I’d rather drop a deuce on her chest, return serve, and fucking roll the fuck out aids free!  But to be fair, here is a reminder of what she used to be just a few months ago and probably my favorite, this is where Christopher Walken got his style from.

Ok so the gunt can kinda get in the way – I just hit it from the back!

Friday, September 21, 2012 Now I know this one’s kinda confusing, you hear “Bit’s amazing day with your mom” and you think shit’s sweet right.  Dude it’s fucking bit with your mom, shit ain’t that sweet right about now homie.  The good news though, this one’s got some really sweet fucking pics, of batman and the joker crush’n’grooven and your mom (See the last one)

Wednesday, October 31, 2012  Well, well, well.  It’s like I caught you in the cookie jar, pun intended!  By now in the month by month recap of your mom’s past year or so, she’s just flat out of control, I mean all of #EllisFam?

See, much better....well not better, lesser of two evils really.

See, much better….well not better, lesser of two evils really. Oh and thats the self-portrait tattoo AZ_RedDragon gave her with his load and a match, not bad bro!

Monday, November 26, 2012 Well if you fuck all of Ellis Fam, then who’s left?  Yeah we saw it coming just sad it happened during the holidays. Things are really getting bad for your mom when turning tricks ain’t even cutting it no mo’.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 It’s cold, money’s tight, and we at No You Are don’t fucking care about your mom.  Sure we could buy her dinner, or maybe hold her hand, but nah! Now we just fuck her for sport……as if we ever didn’t.  Some things never change!

This is her vagina.  I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview....this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

This is her vagina. I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview….this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

Thursday, January 24, 2013 Ok this is one of those pivotal points in your mom’s life, well kinda the opposite as she’s lost all ability to pivot on your dick anymore which made her one of the nation’s top 5,000 hookers in the  40 and above division.  Now its just a matter of survival when fucking your mom, thanks to Rawdog though maybe we can make it out alive!

Friday, February 22, 2013 OK, that it, I’m never fucking that bitch again…Cumtard‘s fucking her.  Ghostload out!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub.  FUCK THAT!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub. FUCK THAT!