Show Re-cap for Friday 6/21/2013

Welcome back to the AIDS free Friday recap! This is the third day without Internet, if it’s not fixed there won’t be a show Monday according to the Wing. The interns can’t make a proper smoothie so the Onit guy is gonna make a video to show these man babies how to do it correctly. Are you good enough for the Tully challenge? You need to find a legit mental age quiz before the interns, you win nothing but the pride of being smarter than a bunch of guys with the combined intelligence of a number two pencil. Ellis went to The Pink Taco and watched the end of the final NBA game and stood in the back. He noticed that everyone was dressed up and he felt out of place. This started a long discussion of basketball games and douche canoes leaving early. I don’t really care about basketball so my ADD kicked in and, umm, i forgot, but I forgot that too, so moving on. Ellis is going to 4488601Pala and is staying in the indian casino. They started talking about gambling and the lottery curse and how the lottery is basically an idiot tax and how the morons that win the money end up ruining their life because they don’t know how to manage finances properly, or what color to paint their double wide. Ellis has a therapist and a life coach now. Rawdog only has a therapist but he doesn’t seem to think Josh is a threat to himself without even asking. But if Josh was to commit suicide he would do it by grinding pills and mixing in a deliciously deadly chocolate pudding.

A 29 year old man was arrested for beating a stranger that he thought was bunpin uglies

I couldn't find a pic of Rawdog on a bike so enjoy the Wangcaster!

I couldn’t find a pic of Rawdog on a bike so enjoy the Wangcaster!

with his girlfriend and then fled on roller blades. Ellis’s app is a show betting app. I’m not sure how it works but I think the fans can chip in to get someone to do something entertainingly stupid. Ellis wants josh to race tiger on a bicycle but Josh still says no. He doesn’t want to endure that kind of humiliation unless he gets paid ten thousand dollars.  Bert McCracken joined the boys to listen to why Rawdog won’t ride a bike and why he hates the gays. Bert wants to raise his kids in the outback instead of Murica because bla bla bla. Again, my ADD.
In a hilarious yet ironic story a snake handler got bitten numerous times by a poisonous viper while giving a demonstration to help people get over their fear of snakes. The gnarliest thing you can do on a sail boat is to do a show from the Bermuda Triangle and shoot ghost loads into another dimension, hopefully landing on Amelia Earhart’s face. Tully and Bert then got into the discussion of world issues, intelligence, and some other stuff that was way too smart for me to be able to pay attention to.

gandhi-racists-sexual-deviantBreaking news, Gandhi hated black people and The Offspring. I’m confused as to like him or hate him so I will continue my life not worrying about it. But if it turns out that he hates Nickelback too then I can overlook the whole black thing. He also said something about fucking mother Teresa and that’s metal as fuck! Foxy came in today also just to hang out and chill for a bit. They talked to her about fucking jungle cats and who can pump the hardest but then Rawdog did his workout routine again and I lost track because between Josh’s porno soundtrack workout, Bert, Foxy, and Ellis all at the same time I couldn’t keep track. Are you starting to see a pattern here? Then they started to do some final calls and my app crapped out so if they were good then you should tune in at 6am pacific and listen to the best two hours of the show. But don’t hold your breath, final calls are usually more retarded then yet mum at the Chuck E Cheese, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/5/2012

Aw Shit – The Remix!

Dude, its totally Wednesday, and I totally party….do you like to party? Ellis can party his ass off, since he ain’t having heart attacks while pumping iron at the wing’s gym like he thought he was yesterday.  Good shit to know, that and he wears leggings.  Sounds like Ellismate’s knee is working again, just in time to get shredded and fuck some models.  Speaking of fat bitches, is there such a thing as a 400 lb. lady with a skinny child?  Who cares, what’s really important is if you are cool being seen with said fat bitch, if the sex is good of course.  Tully is/was, and of course his boys hated on him, but how’d they’re book rank on the New York Times Best Seller List?  Apparently the Metal Militia tent at the X games is the spot to snag you a keeper just FYI!  Meanwhile, Rawdog has dumb taste buds, hates spinach, and is Down With The Sickness.  In fact, did you know Disturbed wrote that tune about the illustrious Illusionist?  Straight into UFC on FOX this weekend, and Ellis’s ass is taking on your mom so check it out.  Conveniently, Manny Pacquiao is fighting this weekend too with some free preliminary fights on some shit channel, but not against Floyd Mayweather as he is still ducking!  Both of those cock suckers top the Forbes list of highest paid athletes.  Then Rawdog told us a tale, of him opening his front door to numerous chics, one of which was that hot chic he thought he had a date lined up with, and taking shots with these chics in his kitchen.  The story lead to the club, doesn’t it always, with Rawdog’s roommate joining him and the 4 ladies on a 45 minute walk, only to stand in a two block long line.  The story ends with the hot chic that Rawdog is fond of, walking off with his roommate, and Josh being left uncomfortably with the 3 remaining chics.  He left and went home, the end!


      Happy Holidays from the assholes at NoYouAre!


In Hollywood News, you only have 8 days left to bid on a day with The Jason Ellis Show and a trip to the strip club of your choice.  If your not a dick, Ellis n Tully may even splooge splurge on a lap dance for ya!  John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John released their sex tape……how else was I gonna get you to click that fucking link, its just a shitty Xmas video she forced him to do at gun point.  One of those little punks from Home Improvement got a DUI.  The Olsen twins are at it again, with a new $55K backpack thats got PETA and local drug dealers pissed.  Meanwhile, in other Hollywood News, in Portugal, Anderson Cooper’s eyes are as pussy as he is.  Oh and if your in Kentucky, vote for Ashley Judd to be your Senator.  Onto one of today’s guest, Mia Isabella 2011 XBIZ/URBANX TS Performer of The Year, in the studio to help the kids.  Honestly, she sucks on the radio like most of us would, but she had a good cause and it led to a pretty funny game.  First, she’s repping little kids who need shoes, at some event tonight at Mickys, but I didn’t get much more than that.  Of course Ellis has more swing than she does, and got Globe to hook it up with a few pairs to help the kiddies.  And onto the game, with Cumtard of course, that involved him drinking champagne out of each person’s shoe, either off their foot or brought from home.  5 shoes total, one each from Ellis, Tully, Rawdog, Mia and Jizz Cult all filled with some shitty $3 bottle of New Year’s finest.  Cumtard was able to guess two shoes correctly, those of Mia and Ellismate.  Of course he wasn’t able to nail the “Grainy” tasting shoe of Jizz Cult, or “Fucking gross” shoe of Rawdog, and certainly not the Athlete’s Foot infested shoe of one Tully McTullyvich. Of course everyone is a winner, Mia’s cause got some shoes donated, Ellis got radio gold, Tully got the cock of his foot, Rawdog didn’t really win shit and Cumtard won the rest of the bottle of bubbly.  Here’s to $425 gold pills that make your shit glitter, and to Kenny, whoever the fuck that is.



           Ya Heard Me

So we found out that Rolling Stone magazine is comprised of a bunch of white dudes who think Sir Mix-A-Lot still has legitimate street cred. They posted a sneak peek of 5 of their Top 50 hip-hop songs of all time.  I personally am a huge fan of rap and this list ain’t awful, but is clearly based on historical importance as opposed to overall song quality, but what the fuck do I know…..that this bitch here is nasty – been fucking her dog for 13 years now.  As if fucking little kids isn’t enough, Penn State is at it again, only fucking Mexicans over now with racism.  Rawdog was at it again, saying he hates China cause they got small areolas, and he’s got a point.  Meanwhile, this dude got forced to do home repairs at gunpoint in San Jose, the New Jersey of San Francisco.  The New York Post is catching shit for posting a photo of a dude about to get creamed by a subway train on the cover.  Breaking news:  Today, December 5th, 2012 on the Jason Ellis Show, Rawdog was correct!  Mark it down, it don’t happen that often folks.




Come on, who’s gonna notice…

Bert McCracken was today’s other guest, dropping in fashionably late.  This dude is just about the definition of a rock star, and a listener to the Ellis show, or a huge smoke blower.  He’s fresh out of rehab and sober now, and also not allowed in Canada for the next 10 years, Red Dragons!  The Used will be playing in the 2013 Take Action Tour so get it up ya.  For today though, its ‘Get The Cock Of Your Chest’ with Blasko Bert McCracken.  If your a fan, go check the intro to this shit, Smokin’ Load Frazier for days crack.  Bert was kind enough to start us off, with a tale of a chic giving him a BJ, then demanding he pay her $80 after completion.  Sounds like a Sunday afternoon for Ellis, but 6 of one, half dozen of the other.  Bert did Dr. Drew some dude who jerks it in front of unknowing strangers on the internet.  Some literal sex offender called in about old ladies, fuck that guy.  Another dude was dropping loads into a MILF’s shampoo bottle.  A teacher pooped in some kids book bag, ya know the usual shit.  We did have a chef war between Bert and Tully, neither backing down to defeat.  Some other dude called in saying he used to eat a ton of oatmeal, and spray it all out his ass into big cup, and then piss and cum in said cup, and your mom would drink it, shit that out and drink that…..wait shit I never got through to the show, OH!