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Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/2/2013

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  Happy New Year Bitches!

Its’ been a long time, we shouldn’ta left you, without a dope recap to step to.  But their fucking best of’s, and we got shit to do.  Today was live though, first of the year, and started with the reminiscing of that time Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom.  Its shit like that he does to help the world, so EllisFam like you and i don’t get all pissed off with the morons living amongst us.  So the next time some idiot cuts you off in traffic, and fucks your lady, you can thank Ellis for not getting so pissed.  So what happened over the break for the fellas?  Rawdog didn’t get laid, but did go to some formal party with Bentley and did get to jerk off his roommate when the ball(s) dropped.  Tully got all spur of the moment n shit and took his wife n kid to Palm Springs so he could hang at a gay bar.  Ellis took his kids n lady to Mammoth Mountain, got ’em ski lessons n shit, and told Katie to Harden The Fuck Up for all the wrong reasons.  Thank god Jude showed up to spare us the drama and instead bring us stories of babies painting playpens in shit.  Jude also got the recap of the Reckoning from Rawdog, who is now a real man, taking that dick like he did, and is ready for a kick ass 2013, you go girl!  OH, and whats a new years break without movies?  Ellis saw Jack Reacher said its was pretty fucking good.  Tully saw Ted and also said it was pretty fucking good.  Rawdog saw Django Unchained, also saying its was pretty fucking good.  Jude on the other hand, saw Django Unchained as well, but in a black neighborhood, and its was not a pretty fucking good idea, but the movie was kinda sweet.  And everyone should see Killer Joe cause Thomas Hayden Church is the fucking man and you can suck it!

 

 

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Couldnt find a naked one armed man holding an arm….

Maryland got the gay, allowing their states first same sex marriage.  Tesla is more than just a shitty decent 80’s band, but also a bad ass electric car thats Ellis Show approved and American made brother!  Who had the worst New Years you wonder, maybe this woman Tully ran into at Fat Burger that not only broke up with her boyfriend, but her car broke down and she slept the night in the parking lot.  I’m sure someone out there has a worse story, and maybe it involves a car ride up a long windy road, in Australia of course, and your stopped by a naked man, covered in blood, holding an arm.  If so, dude you totally shoulda called the show, cause Ellismate had a box of shit he needed to get rid of to whoever had the best story involving the naked blood covered arm carrying man, and how he fucking got their in the first place.  Quite a few callers with some good ideas n shit, but none of which can be put into words, so go back and listen for yourself.  Of course, if you were curious what Rawdog or Tully would do in a situation with this crazed maniac…..Tully would just turn around n leave, while Rawdog would reason with the fine gentleman.

 

 

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Another Rawdog Classic!

Hollywood News time muthafuckers!  Kim Kardashian had a baby, oh shit thats not news worthy never mind.  Kayne West fucked Kim Kardashian and made that bitch have a baby, thats Hollywood News!  Justin Bieber was smoking weed in his Ferrari and some paparazzi dude got ran over for talking shit, says Rawdog.  Then Tully, being super dad n all, had a long heart to heart with us all on the dangers of the paparazzi, and on listening to Rawdog and not reading the story for yourself, seriously people.  Then shit got real realer when a mysterious wooden box showed up that Ellis thought could contain a bomb or snakes maybe.  Problem solved, they just got Cumtard to open the box, which contained…….some cool super cross thingie sent from Trey Canard #41 moto dude, who’s got a movie out about his 2012 life story titled REvival 41, check it out.  I’m sure you’ll check out Rawdog’s new movie coming out one day, you know the romantical comedy about Shoebox and Adrianna Curry….oh and Ellis will also be making a movie, well a documentary, about Rawdog making his movie = video gold!  Anyways back to Hollywood news with Rawdog, about how Katt Williams got into a fight with Sooge Knight and managed to film the shit on his phone.  Nick Stahl, dude was in Terminator 3, was arrested by the Celebrity Jerk Off Cop.  Latrell Sprewell, the man the myth the legend, knows how to fucking party, but has racist neighbors.  Hugh Hefner has made one lady super fucking rich in like 10 years.  If you google image search ‘100 year old dicks’…….well, you know.  Lady Gaga hates her fans that hate themselves.  Did Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do it?  Matthew McConaughey did it, again, for the 3rd time.  Theres your fix of what happened in Hollywood while we were all having TJES withdraws, good on ya.

 

 

Scientology is wierd enough, but some dude wrote “The Church of Fear” exposing some shit about the odd religion, such as an impenetrable fortress built in the desert for aliens to find when we all eventually die off.  Oh and Tully has some fucking sweet Japanese underwear that are silky smooth.  Shout out to one Todd Richards for hooking Ellismania.com up with some Go Pro cameras, fuck yeah!  You know what else happened over the break, UFC 155 bitches.  I didn’t watch it though, but Cain Velasquez is your heavyweight champ again, battering Junior Dos Santos in the rematch to take back the belt.  There were other fights too, but whatever bro go read up on that shit its old news.  The new news is Ellis is gonna get killed by all of MMA for punching Ronda Rousey, in the future when shes on his show and tries to snap him in an arm bar.  Also in the future, Cain Velasquez will have to fight Alistair Overeem a.k.a Ovaries a.k.a. Walrus Man, whos all jacked up on steroids n raw feeder fish, had to be there.  In case you weren’t there in the beginning, when Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom – he played the vintage audio for you.  In case you weren’t there over the break, when we weren’t writing recaps, and were TP-ing your moms, while I can’t show you the pics from that alleged day, this outta give you a good idea….

 

 

OH!

                                              OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 12/20/2012

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Rawdog Face Toast - Yummy Yummy for my Rumbly Tumbly

Rawdog Face Toast – Yummy Yummy for my Rumbly Tumbly

Ever gone really really fast in your car, all the way to the point you should slow down, but you don’t….you know that feeling you get after the point of no return, not only is it a cheap buzz, but the best way to equate the feeling of precum.  Oh and its Thursday!  Back to driving fast, why does Ellis do it?  Its in his blood, in his brothers blood, and probably in his kids blood too.  So the Wing’s thinking he outta kick it down a gear with the kids present, so they don’t get any bad ideas.  But when the kids aren’t there, well of course Ellis wants to race.  He still wants to race professionally either moto or trucks or whatevers clever.  Tully doesn’t get it really, he’s never enjoyed something enough for it to be work and a hobby at the same time, guess he’s never written a TJES recap, zing!  Seriously though, would you like pictures of you and your profession throughout your home?  Or how about you and your hobby?  Just depends on how ego centric or bad ass you are.  ‘My Face Toast’ by Jason Ellis sounds pretty bad ass, and if it sells, you may see the Rawdog toast in stores soon. You may also see a lot more of Josh getting pissed, well with his new nickname and all.  Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to “Ew-Jay”, a.k.a. Ew-Jay Simpson, and if you remember pig latin then Bobs your uncle.  If you don’t, uck fey ff oey ou yay ouche dey ag bay! Well if your headed to Vegas for the New Year’s, don’t expect to see the real Ellis there, maybe the fake one though, as Ellis is just going to kick it at home this year.  Well maybe a pool party, and maybe some hookers too. Or just maybe it’ll be Drunk Mitch and Ellis, naked in a pool, just reflecting on the year, so either way should be a riveting time for Young Wing.

 

They don't always make sense...

Not every pic make sense…

In Aussie News, this sick cunt ledge here done went kangaroo shit on this copper for being a dumb cunt mate!  Grant Cobb joined the show, to introduce us all to backpage.com, for all your escort needs – Thanks Grant!    Also, for $30 you can sign up to theeroticreview.com and get reviews, prices, all that shit!  And for $600 and hour, you can get former Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton, check it out!  Of course while checking this all out, Tully was able to find a chic on backpage, and trace her back to facebook, Woman Am I Right!   Speaking of Woman Am I Right, check out this miss universe contestant, why you so stupid lady?  Oh shit, breaking news – If you tweet Ellis at exactly 11:58am PT with a random sentence, he will use it to open the show, of course he won’t give a fuck tomorrow, so be sure to try that out next week!  Also, be sure to train your puppies to be racist, as apparently Rawdog was right in thinking this was true, as confirmed by quite a few ex drug dealers who called in to support Josh.  Of course, no one supports you when you fuck a chic that looks like John Stockton, but with a bag over her head, they all look like Karl Malone to me.

 

Don't take it so literally lady!

Don’t take it so literally lady!

In Hollywood News, Grant Cobb was almost raped by Ben Affleck while giving him a tattoo.  Is Kim Kardashian quitting Instagram over their new shitty terms?  Is Simon Cowell dating Carmen Electra for real for real?  Is Fat Joe going to get fucked in jail, after fucking over the IRS?  Why don’t you call Kat Williams a N-bomb?  Is Khloe Kardashian as fat as you think she is?  Yeah!  Why does the California Hamster Association hate Justin Bieber so much?  Is Ben Affleck going to run for Senate?  Yes, who gives a shit is correct!  Of course, the ‘GerbalKnives’ may have something to say to the California Hamster douche wads, once they are officially created by Ellis.  Oh, and George Clooney ain’t really up to shit these days.  So thats about it for Hollywood News, see you at Slash’s club, or maybe the Wing’s new strip joint he’s opening up next to the Wing’s gym, whatever floats your boat.

 

racistsThen the show took a turn for the worse I tell ya.  Nothing but racism, whores, tattoo guns on air in the background, and a shit load of ass kissing from here on out.  Apparently we are all whores, so says this news story about how much porn we watch, holy shit!  Super Mario was arrested for groping some woman in Times Square.  Then Cumtard groped our ears with his game Google auto complete thingamajig.  This is just one of those you gotta go back and listen too, but so you know what your in for….You can get aids from swimming with black people, and from Magic Johnson.  Your balls sometimes smell like bacon, and yes Nickleback does suck and does exist.  Mexicans don’t flush toilet paper cause they’re very environmentally friendly and love to recycle.  Australian people love kangaroo meat and saying mate.  Queefs are not only deadly, but are controllable as well.  Lets see, oh yeah, Jason Ellis is gay and single.  Oh and Slash is both black and jewish, similar to Lenny Kravitz.  TJ Lavin is not black, and I don’t think he’s jewish either, but he is one hell of an ass kisser.  He called into the show to talk about the X Games shit from yesterday, and told Ellis how much he loves him, and Ellis loves him back.  Then we had final calls, whore style.  Lots of Sarah and Rachael, and some caller requests.  All in all a good time until Tully took it just a little too far.  You see, just about the time Rachael and Sarah were having their little phone fuck fest, Tully acctually brought your mom into studio, made a huge fuck hole from her ass to her pussy, where her taint use to be, and took turns with Ellis Josh n Grant in and out in and out, enjoying that stage of precum we all love so much.  Of course this pissed your mom off to no end, as all she really wants to do is swallow jizz n excrement and then onto the next one, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/19/2012

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No Shit!

                   No Shit!

Welcome to Wednesday, a normal day like any other.  The studio has been fucked up yet again, and life is meaningless so put that in your pipe and smoke it.  On a lighter note, precum is cool.  I mean its the fucking place to be.  Our life goal should be to live in a state of precum.  As Tully broke it down to us, we hold back on the final stage of cuming, so we can enjoy the bit before that…..the precum stage.  Makes as much sense as Ellis wanting to be a little girl, not a woman but a little girl.  Not a teenage girl either, with all that fucked up acne n all fat n shit.  High school’s a bitch for a bitch, and apparently for Australians too as its just really training for jail.  Ellis used to get called a skaghead back in school, which is a term for a heroin addict who’s homeless, not too far off.  In Rawdogs jew school, the popular kids were still nerds and they had no good sports teams.  Oh and Tully knew a dude in high school that got an offer to play soccer for a women’s college team, pink dragons to you my friend.    Wanna see an Eagle snatch up a baby?  And that video there is why we should ban automatic weapons and shit.  Per Ellis, lets just keep it to rifles and handguns.  Per Tully, keep ’em filled with blanks if you keep ’em in the house.  I ain’t touching the whole gun issue, so instead here’s a story of a 60 car pile up on the 5.

 

Blah Blah Blah? Blah Blah Blah Blah!

Ramona Bruland is some cunt your gonna start seeing more of…..if you watch the X games.  Seems Sal Masekela’s out and ESPN got this chic to replace him.  We don’t know much about her, but she was a snowboarder “briefly”, appeared on Bold and the Beautiful a few times, and did some plumtv shit.  Maybe Dingo knows her?  Anyways, this is a bad move per Ellismate, since she’s not “one of us”.  She really isn’t, is anyone being interviewed by her going to have a clue who she is, or give a fuck what she has to say.  After all, would you rather watch her trying to relate to a back flip, or maybe Dingo TJ Lavin or even Todd Richards.  Truth is it don’t matter what we folks want, its what the corporate suits want, control.  And this broad seems to be the definition of puppet.  That’s a reason why Ellis left EPSN, not wanting to wear their X games shit over his sponsors gear, despite them trying to demand that shit.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Well, he did have it as a kid, and Ellis noticed him doing the same shit today.  He was doing some kind of mumbling after he spoke, which later turned out to be him repeating what he just said, or so Tully and Ellis think.  Will said that Cumtard said that the fake Avril chic said she noticed it before too, so it must be true.  So why was Josh raised as a girl?  And is he a hypochondriac schizophrenic with alzheimer’s on the verge of a stroke?  Gotta tune in and find out bro.

 

So what do you boys think of these?  Not too shabby “Blair”, those are very intercourseable.  Well, you fuckers have complained too long, heres your wish if you’ve been missing the classic segment, “Dude, Am I A Slut?”  Here we go; Josie is 20, with 34DD tits, and was pissed some dude pulled out and came on her back….Not a slut Josie, just a bitch.  Erica has been dating a dude for 4 years, engaged for 2, and they haven’t had sex yet with “Turd McStiffenson” being all Catholic and shit….not a slut, in fact what the fuck did you call for?  Tonya, 27 years ancient, found out her ex cheated on her so went and fucked all his boys and his female cousin too….not a slut, yup thats the verdict!  Lisa is 36 and her man is hung like horse, and she chows beav, and had sex at the pool with some chic in public….not a slut. Thats 0 for 4 if your scoring at home, of course not with any of these bitches…so how about Jackie, she and her girl friends took turns fucking some random dudes at different places throughout a roughly 5 hour window…..DING!  Not only do we have our first slut, but that bitch is invited to the prize chamber at The Wing’s house, ‘cept he hung up on her slutty ass.  In the search for Jackie to call back, we played ‘Are you a lady, rapist or sex offender’ which I’m sure is hear to stay.  All in all it is what it is, nah mean!

 

Ever hear the expression “ain’t got a pot to piss in”, well these mother fuckers here done bought the pot to piss and shit in, to go with the really cheap apartment that didn’t come with such amenities.   They sir are morons, ok that segue failed, but Jizz Cult didn’t with his crazy wacky game ‘You Sir Are A Moron’.  If you don’t know how to play, that kind makes it better really.  Some of the topics were 100 Rawdogs verses one Jason Ellis (Not the Lycan sized Ellis, but the real life version), when do you tell a chic you have an STD, which is never by the way.  The most amount of money ok to gamble away at Vegas, yeah Will set this game up.  Most valuable thing to steal from work – Tattoo of Hello Kitty on your head or a tat of Hitler on your ass.  One million bucks in exchange for your penis being 50% size, what the fuck kinda games are these Jizz Cult?  Drink a gallon of pee or eat small nugget sized turd?  Watch your parents fuck or jerk it for your grandma?  Thats it I’m fucking out of here.

 

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             What if Grandma likes it, and goes for it, then what?

 

Hollywood news time ladies and douche knuckles, and Sam Donaldson got a DUI in Delaware.  Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?  Ke$ha’s new smash hit single ‘Die Young‘ has been pulled from radio station play due to its suggestive and inappropriate title.  Like Too Short said, “It was all good just a week ago”.  Tom Cruise talks about being a big pussy to Jimmy Fallon.  Sounds like Bieber got him some new snatch to get over the Smellena Gomez bitch.   Lindsay Lohan says she didn’t take a massive shit to clog up those toilets as she was accused of.  Psycho Mike is not only banging Landon Donovan’s ex, but he married her.  Obama is Time’s Man of the Year, again.  Cullen a.k.a The Backbone is Faction, SiriusXM and just life in general’s Man Of The Year for playing the greatest ‘Dude Am I A Slut’ of all time after the show ended if you wanna check it out OnDemand or some shit.  Oh and Sal Masekela texted Ellis back saying thanks for calling him and fag and all, mad respect.  As if Canada hasn’t had enough, we find out that Lacrosse is the national sport.  However bad they are, they can’t be as bad as this douche bag radio dude just ripping of The Jason Ellis Show.  I’m not even going to dignify you with a name, just he’s from the San Antonio market, has bits like “Your a slut if…” and shock collars and all that shit, plus some repeating guests as Ellis too.  This seems so obvious that even Tully and Will call bullshit on this dude.  Also, this sparked the age old question of what Ellis has stolen from other shows over the years.  Maybe he stole part of Bubba’s shock collar bits, or Howard’s voice machine idea.  Nah mate, you are!  Truth is, Ellis never stole shit from anybody, and as Tully reminds us, just about everything gets recycled over at some point as theres only so many things you can do over years of radio.    Its kinda like the other night, I did this move where I jumped off the edge of the bed, dick first into your mom’s gaping twat, while doing a 360 and grabbing my balls, only to hear her tell me @AZ_RedDragon and @bitpimps took turns doing that on her last week, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 12/17/2012

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Sorry Canada, you're on your own, but you can have a superhero.

Sorry Canada, you’re on your own, but you can have a superhero.

It’s Monday and some of you are still recovering from The Wreckoning, I feel no pity for you. HA! The show started off with AussieDog and RawTully filling in for Ellis for about a minute. Rawdog has got a sore shoulder from getting an atomic wedgie at The Wreckoning, and you can watch that along with him getting mouth raped thanks to @CobraTits. Ellis says he’s super proud of the fans at how nice they were, especially to the ladies, except the guy that kept prodding Ellis to fight him. Dingo likes to jizz all over everything, car seats, hotel sheets, floors, individually wrapped cups, pretty much anything and everything. Pendarvis revealed that he went to Vegas over the weekend and has a gambling problem that nobody ever knew about. At one point he was down $2,000 and ended up walking away with $1,400 in the black, he also revealed that at the last EllisMania, he ended up winning about $3,000. As time goes on, we find out more and more little secrets about. Should Ellis become the King of America, watch the fuck out, because Mexico will be part of us now and people are going to get shot, and you get no say in jack shit so back the fuck up, son! Canada, you stay Canada.

how_to_helmet

Get your helmets on, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

The UFC was the next topic up on the show, which of course means that we’re all interested in how much money Rawdog makes working for Sirius. Tully told of a story staying a shithole in Albuquerque, New Mexico with bullet holes in the doors and a broken toilet duct taped back together. This of course reminded Rawdog of how his dad used to take him out for pizza to a restaurant that nobody else was at except a table of Italian guys. So of course that makes it a front for mob money laundering, which in turn brings us to Ellis wanting to bang Adele. And that pretty much covers UFC news. What? Pizza, American’s didn’t invent it and German’s didn’t invent the hamburger. The Hobbit, it sounds like a massive hunk of turd-crap movie that’s too damn long.

iPope location service de-activated.

iPope location service de-activated.

Some angry protestors showed up at the Vatican, they were mad that the Pope said gay marriage and abortion are threats to world peace. Which of course means that if you disagree with him, you shall burn in a lake of fire. Maybe. Or possibly not, nobody really knows. Dingo was baptized, but he considers himself more Christian than Catholic. Sounds like some pound for pound talk. Another church in New Zealand thinks that Jesus is gay and since it’s Christmas time, it’s the perfect time him to come out of the closet as a homosexual man baby. The Game’s new album cover depicts a thug Jesus, which is totally fucking gangster because he’s reppin’ the hood. There’s also palm trees in the image so I assume that means Jesus likes the beach scene too. Cumtard was put under some scrutiny after saying that he blacked out for the entire Wreckoning, but then came to at some point at his apartment and kept drinking. He says he has no recollection of yelling at one of his chick friends that he wants to bang, but something seems amiss in his story to the guys.

Family matters in the public eye typically works out very well.

Family matters in the public eye typically works out very well.

Hollywood news time and Kat Von D got engaged to Deadmau5, on Twitter – so you know it’s gonna last. Kelly Clarkson got engaged as well, she did Tweet about it, but wasn’t proposed to over Twitter or any other social media website, so sorry Kelly, you lose. Janice Dickinson also got engaged, she’s in her 50’s so you know damn well Twitter wasn’t involved at all – however, Medicare was. Brooke Mueller is getting out of rehab for the 19th time, one could only assume she’s planning  her 20th rehab visit sometime just after the New Year. ABC Network has green lit a project to document Justin Bieber’s life before he rose to fame, which is old news because we did a story on Justin “Cream Corn” Bieber way before it was cool. Final calls, some dude with a wife and kids isn’t getting any sex from his wife or his kids, and that’s bullshit. Now he’s Mr. Creepy Guy, staring at any piece of gash that walks by, welcome to getting old my friend. Have a seat. Another dude called in to give his two cents on the Cumtard and his alcoholic writing tendencies, but what the fuck does that guy know? He’s not even an alcoholic in training. Another caller chimed in to ask if the guys thought they could make it in a real man’s world. I think he meant working 8+ hours a day and not hunting down buffalo with no other weapons than your cock. Another dude called in, him and his wife split up but lived together, she ended up kicking him out so she could suck another dude’s dick. After getting bored with his dick, she went back to her ex and said she made a “mistake” and they got back together. Turns out she’s still be texting this other dude and misses his cock now too. Anyways, that’s how it goes when you’re with that cock starved slut that you call your mother. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 12/10/2012

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Awkward porn is awkward.

It’s Monday, it’s colder than a well digger’s ass, and I’ve got a link to the sweetest fucking song/video that you must watch. Do puppies keep you at night because they’re chewing on your hands? Do you wake up in the middle of the night to watch porn where old ladies are doing young ladies? Well maybe you should. Or maybe Dingo should, because he just could not follow this story for the life of him. At first he thought it was mom on daughter, then he wasn’t sure what the scissor-kick-cookie-wiggle was, and I think he even started to think the topic was the new Spiderman movie. It took all three of the dudes to get Dingo back on track. Ellis initially started questioning his dick for a moment due to the weird underlying vibe the porn was giving off, at first he wasn’t into it, then he was, and then he went and banged out Katie. Manny Pacquiáo got clobbered hard enough over the weekend that people are already talking about his possible retirement from boxing all together. If you had to pledge your love to a new God and start going to church, which celebrity would it be that changes your life path and you start to follow? Chris Farley? Elvis Presley? Once again, Dingo went off the deep-end here claiming he’d follow Justin Bieber and Usher, or Quentin Tarantino, but not Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. It’s like I don’t even know Dingo anymore. Okay, so maybe I never really did know Dingo, but still.

For you people reading this, you probably already know oxycottonjohn (Yeahhhh Motherfuckers!) His little sister has setup a blog to accept donations for him and his mounting and very expensive medical bills. Please, if you can, help out a fellow EllisFam member. He’s a fucking great guy and would help you out if he could. Spread some love, you could use the good karma.

Not training for your fight because you still feel on your game?

Wanna see the worst free throw in the fucking history of basketball? Was that a relative of Rawdog’s? Was it Rawdog himself in costume? I’m pretty sure the answer to both is nope. Ellis has been teaching Katie pad work, not like pads for those light days in a girls life, we’re talking boxing here. Could we be seeing a “Dumped or Fired” fight at EllisMania 9, where Rawdog and Katie square off in the ring and the loser either gets dumped or fired? Time will only tell, but hopefully for the fans, this will become a reality. Some world champion mustache dude was there filming Dingo today, yup, that’s all there is to say about that exciting news – I guess at least he’s a world champion. Is it pronounced Appalachia or Far Fig Newton? Who gives a shit? Fight talk time. Ellis doesn’t think Shogun is finished, but a lot of other people do because he’s been getting his face rearranged quite a bit lately, but the only person who really knows is Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. B. J. Penn got beat again over the weekend and people still blame his laid back, weed smokin’ lifestyle for his lackluster performances of late. Nate Diaz flipped the bird on TV, is anyone really surprised that he would do this? He’s a bad-ass hoodlum, how could you think he wouldn’t do something like this eventually? I say more power to him.

Oh come on! I was just joking!

Quick, random thought: Am I the only one who thinks Maria Brink from In This Moment would be a lot hotter without the massive holes in her earlobes? Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, some corpse fell out of the sky, it wasn’t a ghost, it wasn’t “Slimer” from Ghostbusters, but just a dude that tried to travel for free and in the wheel compartment of a plane. Which has been tried before by others, and most of them were just as unsuccessful as he was. And Darwin wins again. Tully had another celebrity sighting over the weekend while taking his son to the swings at the park, guess who was there? No, not Danzig. Yup, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale were there. I assumed with their child as I believe Gavin is no longer into little kiddies at the park, but low-and-behold, Tully never mentioned anything about their kid. Make of that what you will. Kurt Russell’s nephew went to the same school as Rawdog once. Neat, right? Wrong. I can understand you liked Overboard or Big Trouble in Little China, but come on.

There was talk about Camino & Rick, but it’s all old and it’s all lame. Apparently there was a tweet, and then someone else tweeted, and then people had thoughts, and then it was on the fucking show. I don’t listen to C&R, I’ve tried, but it’s just not my thing. If you do listen to them, great. No big deal. I can’t believe anyone cares about any of this. Seriously. Jude popped into the studio just long enough to hand out vaporizer presents to everyone and then boom, he was gone just like that. Do you prefer white chocolate? You’re probably a gaycist. Don’t argue about it, just accept it and move on. There might be a few more things I’m forgetting, but really – are you even paying attention at this point? Me neither. Who cares. Well, actually, I’ll tell you about one time that your mom did care. You were sitting at the kitchen table in the morning and said, “Hey mom, pass the fuckin’ corn flakes.” She took you out back and whipped you with a rod then sat you back down and said, “Now would you like something from the table?” You said, “Well I sure as shit don’t want those fuckin’ corn flakes.” And that’s how I knew you were the spawn of my seed. OH!