Show Re-cap For Friday 12/21/2012

Hey mother fuckers, news flash, the world didn’t end and its Friday! But some people thing that the world might end today, but fuck those fucks, they don’t know nothing about nothing.  Ellis is finally off Stars2 because they keep fucking up his replays.  I guess the bentlysuits in New York are paying attention.  There will not be any replays for a little while but in time they will figure out if Ellis will get his own channel or if they will just play the replays on Faction41.  This, however, might be a sign that the four horsemen have arrived and apparently Tully is one of the responsible parties for their arrival.  Bently is in the Swinghouse today looking hot, still modeling a little, and is now an event coordinator so she won’t have to suck old man balls.  The Texas DJ, Billy Madison, was brought up again today and they talked about some of the bits that he does on his show. Like Vagina Funerals, Crazy Things You See At Work, Honk If Your Horny, Am I A Slut If, and many other favorites that you can hear originally on The Jason Ellis Show.

The guys did a gift exchange, you know the usual gifts, smokes, chocolate, kangaroo meat, a book about The Smiths.  aussie kid has poisonous snake eggs, roo invades house, want to watch a video where a drunk Aussie falls through a fence?  Or a video of an Aussie getting interviewed after a sex shop caught on fire? Is this Aussies dumbest Hoon?  What the fuck is a Hoon? This would be the video of the Aussie that got drunk and tried to ride a croc, but all the videos that I found suck, so fuck that.  Nashville isn’t just country music and inter-family relations, its a nice place to visit, and Texas is a place poopsockwhere men are men and sheep are scared! Some lady was the victim of the poo sock attacker on train and I laughed when I heard this so I get a special seat in Hell.  American sports have too many commercials, according to everyone.  And speaking of everyone, this segment has been brought to you by Verizon Wireless, can you hear me now? In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the ladies love a clean smooth hair free ass. People shouldn’t have to keep calling in to ask Ellis how to shave their intimate parts, but if you ask me, I always use Gillette Fusion Proglide, for against the grain closeness with comfort. A girl called in and said that she liked to be choked but she needed to teach her boyfriend how to choke her properly and without that weird “I wanna kill you” vibe.  How to choke a bitch has been brought to by The Home Depot. Because we have shovels, and that hole ain’t gonna dig itself.

In today’s Hollywood News, Kat Williams is gettin heat for being a pimp, Lohan didn’t want to kiss crack faced Charlie Sheen, Madonna yelled at some smokers at her concert and then threatened to cancel the show, Kelly Osbourn is hot, some magazine is looking for pictures of Lohan in Pennsylvania, Devito still trying to get Pearlman back, a bunch of famous people thanked Obama for being cool about weed, Arnold’s hair resembles that of Hitler’s, and all of this has been brought to you by Instagram, because your pictures are our pictures and we don’t give a fuck what you say about it.  After Hollywood News they did, Get The Cock Off Your Chest end of the world holiday edition. There were a lot of people looking to clear their conscious of their dirty little deeds and the segment was very entertaining. Get The Cock Off Your Chest was also sponsored by KY Jelly, getting cocks off since 1904.

Final calls time. During Final Calls they talked about football, chubby truckers, shout out to the veterans, roses, Cullen, Cullen’s fat baby, a slippery slope of death, Jerry Springer, a self racist black man, Master of Puppets, Uncle Jesse from Atlanta, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, stinky dinky and wrinkle poles, the fucktard of the year, fuck Tully, Canada, and Jingle balls. 1321645583363

This is the last recap of 2012 and those of us here at NoYouAre would like to wish you a safe and happy Christmas, Hanukkah, or what ever the fuck else it is you do to get drunk in December. We would also like to thank yer mum, her prices are fair and she always helps pay for the Penicillin, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 12/20/2012

Rawdog Face Toast - Yummy Yummy for my Rumbly Tumbly

Rawdog Face Toast – Yummy Yummy for my Rumbly Tumbly

Ever gone really really fast in your car, all the way to the point you should slow down, but you don’t….you know that feeling you get after the point of no return, not only is it a cheap buzz, but the best way to equate the feeling of precum.  Oh and its Thursday!  Back to driving fast, why does Ellis do it?  Its in his blood, in his brothers blood, and probably in his kids blood too.  So the Wing’s thinking he outta kick it down a gear with the kids present, so they don’t get any bad ideas.  But when the kids aren’t there, well of course Ellis wants to race.  He still wants to race professionally either moto or trucks or whatevers clever.  Tully doesn’t get it really, he’s never enjoyed something enough for it to be work and a hobby at the same time, guess he’s never written a TJES recap, zing!  Seriously though, would you like pictures of you and your profession throughout your home?  Or how about you and your hobby?  Just depends on how ego centric or bad ass you are.  ‘My Face Toast’ by Jason Ellis sounds pretty bad ass, and if it sells, you may see the Rawdog toast in stores soon. You may also see a lot more of Josh getting pissed, well with his new nickname and all.  Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to “Ew-Jay”, a.k.a. Ew-Jay Simpson, and if you remember pig latin then Bobs your uncle.  If you don’t, uck fey ff oey ou yay ouche dey ag bay! Well if your headed to Vegas for the New Year’s, don’t expect to see the real Ellis there, maybe the fake one though, as Ellis is just going to kick it at home this year.  Well maybe a pool party, and maybe some hookers too. Or just maybe it’ll be Drunk Mitch and Ellis, naked in a pool, just reflecting on the year, so either way should be a riveting time for Young Wing.


They don't always make sense...

Not every pic make sense…

In Aussie News, this sick cunt ledge here done went kangaroo shit on this copper for being a dumb cunt mate!  Grant Cobb joined the show, to introduce us all to, for all your escort needs – Thanks Grant!    Also, for $30 you can sign up to and get reviews, prices, all that shit!  And for $600 and hour, you can get former Olympian Suzy Favor Hamilton, check it out!  Of course while checking this all out, Tully was able to find a chic on backpage, and trace her back to facebook, Woman Am I Right!   Speaking of Woman Am I Right, check out this miss universe contestant, why you so stupid lady?  Oh shit, breaking news – If you tweet Ellis at exactly 11:58am PT with a random sentence, he will use it to open the show, of course he won’t give a fuck tomorrow, so be sure to try that out next week!  Also, be sure to train your puppies to be racist, as apparently Rawdog was right in thinking this was true, as confirmed by quite a few ex drug dealers who called in to support Josh.  Of course, no one supports you when you fuck a chic that looks like John Stockton, but with a bag over her head, they all look like Karl Malone to me.


Don't take it so literally lady!

Don’t take it so literally lady!

In Hollywood News, Grant Cobb was almost raped by Ben Affleck while giving him a tattoo.  Is Kim Kardashian quitting Instagram over their new shitty terms?  Is Simon Cowell dating Carmen Electra for real for real?  Is Fat Joe going to get fucked in jail, after fucking over the IRS?  Why don’t you call Kat Williams a N-bomb?  Is Khloe Kardashian as fat as you think she is?  Yeah!  Why does the California Hamster Association hate Justin Bieber so much?  Is Ben Affleck going to run for Senate?  Yes, who gives a shit is correct!  Of course, the ‘GerbalKnives’ may have something to say to the California Hamster douche wads, once they are officially created by Ellis.  Oh, and George Clooney ain’t really up to shit these days.  So thats about it for Hollywood News, see you at Slash’s club, or maybe the Wing’s new strip joint he’s opening up next to the Wing’s gym, whatever floats your boat.


racistsThen the show took a turn for the worse I tell ya.  Nothing but racism, whores, tattoo guns on air in the background, and a shit load of ass kissing from here on out.  Apparently we are all whores, so says this news story about how much porn we watch, holy shit!  Super Mario was arrested for groping some woman in Times Square.  Then Cumtard groped our ears with his game Google auto complete thingamajig.  This is just one of those you gotta go back and listen too, but so you know what your in for….You can get aids from swimming with black people, and from Magic Johnson.  Your balls sometimes smell like bacon, and yes Nickleback does suck and does exist.  Mexicans don’t flush toilet paper cause they’re very environmentally friendly and love to recycle.  Australian people love kangaroo meat and saying mate.  Queefs are not only deadly, but are controllable as well.  Lets see, oh yeah, Jason Ellis is gay and single.  Oh and Slash is both black and jewish, similar to Lenny Kravitz.  TJ Lavin is not black, and I don’t think he’s jewish either, but he is one hell of an ass kisser.  He called into the show to talk about the X Games shit from yesterday, and told Ellis how much he loves him, and Ellis loves him back.  Then we had final calls, whore style.  Lots of Sarah and Rachael, and some caller requests.  All in all a good time until Tully took it just a little too far.  You see, just about the time Rachael and Sarah were having their little phone fuck fest, Tully acctually brought your mom into studio, made a huge fuck hole from her ass to her pussy, where her taint use to be, and took turns with Ellis Josh n Grant in and out in and out, enjoying that stage of precum we all love so much.  Of course this pissed your mom off to no end, as all she really wants to do is swallow jizz n excrement and then onto the next one, OH!