Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/18/13

What’s love got to do, got to do with it?  With that, welcome to another Thursday edition of Thunder Dome with your host Tina Turner a.k.a Ellis.  Yeah, I don’t get it either, too deep for me.  Speaking of too deep, Tully apparently got a little too deep this morning while digging in his ass, just after taking a nice shit mind you, and on his finger was some liquidy substance.  Unfortunately it wasn’t shit like we all had hoped, but blood is pretty fucking Red Dragons I’d say and that’s what was on Tully’s finger when he pulled back.  After a thorough review, he determined the blood was in fact not from his deuce in the commode, but rather from his ass cheek.  And thus begins today’s show, what is bleeding on Tully’s ass, call 855-355-4741 now and give us your thoughts.  But please spare me the immediate need to rush to the hospital as it is both necessary and obvi!  Let’s just focus on the potential para-rectal cyst lying deep in his ass tissue.  Did you know this same scenario happened to Rawdog recently, but turned out he just ate some Doritos, DING!  Thankfully Rude Jude stopped by to help us get off Tully’s ass, and focus on the real matter at hand….washing your hands.  As Jude puts it, wash your hands so you don’t pass second hand dick – Good shit Jude!  Jude taught us all about black hair care and what a weave cap is.  He also said Lord Sears is working hard on staying awake, making it most of the show yesterday which also included Adam Carolla.  “A Tree doesn’t get mad if you call it a bush.  It knows its a tree!” – Rude Jude.   Not sure how to transition from that to chics leaving snail trails and being proud of it, but it happens and I’m sure it somewhere on Vine.  Of course, thats not to be confused with your Happy Trail, or Treasure Trail, or finally Hairway to Heaven!


Not sure I like where this is going....

Not sure I like where this is going….


Remember yesterday’s World’s Greatest Wednesday, well today’s just as good to finish it up.  It was to find out who or what is, the World’s Greatest Way to humiliate a snail down in Flo-Rida.  Yeah so we just went through all the nominees:

Rawdog betray the snails for a bagel and crucify them

Make snails have gay sex and make fun of them

Cook snails in beer and feed them to other snails

Make them listen to Accidental Racist (Don’t click it)

Beat the snails with Ellis’s PETA award

Put Offspring and Jeff Hardy stickers on their shells

Send them into space on balloons with Death!Death!Die! stickers for promotional purposes

Cum on a snail

Make them drunk driving monster trucks

Use a potato gun to shoot snails at other snails

Have Rawdog posterize dunk on a snail

Make the snails preform parkour

Make the snails preform the Mega Ramp

Surround them with a ring of salt, and a ring of beer outside of that

Spray them with Axe body spray, when their about the get laid, set them on fire

Drag them behind trucks

Dress them as the Statue of Liberty and make them spin signs on the street corner

Give the snails all white boy cornrows

(And some late additions to yesterday’s list, which by the way has a few removed that Ellis ditched prior to voting)…….

Put snails on Jiffy Pop and put them in the microwave

Tie Snails to both ends of a battery and make them touch to get zapped

Pull the snail’s dick out and pour salt on it, the “Salt Peter”

So that’s the list, can’t really do shit about it now but so you knew who or what was even available.  Oh, and Rawdog only smoked like 3 or 4 times in college.


Rawdog's new night spot coming soon!

Rawdog’s new night spot coming soon!


Hollywood News bitches, and what other bitch but Kim Kardashian to start us off with her divorce of Kris Humphries and how it may be finally happening.  Remember the dude Finch from American Pie, the one that banged Stifler’s mom, yeah well some one night stand didn’t want to leave last night, and well check this shit out!  Serena Williams was strutting that ass in Miami and DAMN!   Adele turned down a million bucks cause she still got more life to live, for real for real.  Did you know Jennifer Aniston has been cupping, or better yet do you even know what the fuck that means?  If oyu answered No, fuck yeah homie!  Well Gwyneth Paltrow used to do it, and Tully hates that bitch, so you should too – remember that’s fuck Gwyneth Paltrow kids!  Jaden Smith says that Obama told him Aliens were true.  And thus concludes today’s Hollywood News, so now just back to how German dudes thought black dudes coudln’t beat them in sports until Jessie Owens and Joe Lewis kinda fucked all that up for them.  From there it was Jackie Robinson and white dudes figured out that when the monies on the line, always listen to Wesley Snipes.  Did you know that Michael Jackson stole the moonwalk from some dude who was a Solid Gold Dancer?  Did you give a shit that Fergie is trying to vogue or some shit?  No you didn’t, but I bet you do give a shit about this two on two MMA fighting over in Russia!  Dom, fuck my bad, Lil’ Bane was out and about the streets of Hollywood yesterday allegedly saying Justin Bieber had been killed by Nazi’s for his Anne Frank comments the other day.  Since Lil’ Bane produces The Jason Ellis Show, he had a tape record on him, and we all got to listen to people’s reactions.  People such as some old lady who swallowed the microphone and some dude who already knew about it before Lil’ Bane told him.  Batman actually spoke and gave his regards to Beiber’s mom.  Finally some Australian dude was propsitioned mon, “Fuck the Cunt, I shoulda killed him”.  He’s getting better folks, hell of a job Dom!





News from a Dolphin, my favorite shit might I add, about some lady who cut off her husband’s dick cause he was fucking an old girlfriend or some shit.  But enough of that, lets get down to some real business.  All show Ellis n Tully sprinkled in some shots at Rawdog about basketball and getting a game together.  Well it will be sometime tomorrow morning, with Rawdog trying to make 3 out of 10 layups, and also a two on two game between Ellis N Tully verse Will and Dom.  Unfortunately tickets aren’t for sale, but how fucking sweet would it be to see this.  Just make sure to listen tomorrow for what happens.  Kinda like yesterday, when you had to tune in tomorrow which is today, to find out who or what is the World’s Greatest way to humiliate a snail.  Well folks, here’s your top ten:

10 – Put Offspring and Ed Hardy stickers on the snail’s shells

9  – Beat snails with Ellis’s PETA award

8  – Send snails into space with balloons to promote Death! Death! Die!

7  – Make snail parkour videos

6  – Dress the snails as The Statue Of Liberty and make them spin signs on a street corner

5  – Pull the snail’s dick out and our salt on it

4  – Put them inside a circle of salt, surrounded by a circle of beer

3  – Spray them with Axe body spray, and as they’re about the get fucked, set them on fire

2  – Have Rawdog betray the snail’s for some bagels, and crucify them

1  – Have Rawdog posterize them

Hey don’t look at me, you fuckers voted on this shit.  Seems pretty accurate to me though, cause having The Illusionist dunk over you and see it on your bedroom wall is some fucked up shit.  But no where as fucked up as the last episode of Suck My Dick with Will and Lil’ Bane, where Thunderballs and I took turns cupping your grandma’s ass while we moon walked all over her pussay, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 12/17/2012

Sorry Canada, you're on your own, but you can have a superhero.

Sorry Canada, you’re on your own, but you can have a superhero.

It’s Monday and some of you are still recovering from The Wreckoning, I feel no pity for you. HA! The show started off with AussieDog and RawTully filling in for Ellis for about a minute. Rawdog has got a sore shoulder from getting an atomic wedgie at The Wreckoning, and you can watch that along with him getting mouth raped thanks to @CobraTits. Ellis says he’s super proud of the fans at how nice they were, especially to the ladies, except the guy that kept prodding Ellis to fight him. Dingo likes to jizz all over everything, car seats, hotel sheets, floors, individually wrapped cups, pretty much anything and everything. Pendarvis revealed that he went to Vegas over the weekend and has a gambling problem that nobody ever knew about. At one point he was down $2,000 and ended up walking away with $1,400 in the black, he also revealed that at the last EllisMania, he ended up winning about $3,000. As time goes on, we find out more and more little secrets about. Should Ellis become the King of America, watch the fuck out, because Mexico will be part of us now and people are going to get shot, and you get no say in jack shit so back the fuck up, son! Canada, you stay Canada.


Get your helmets on, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

The UFC was the next topic up on the show, which of course means that we’re all interested in how much money Rawdog makes working for Sirius. Tully told of a story staying a shithole in Albuquerque, New Mexico with bullet holes in the doors and a broken toilet duct taped back together. This of course reminded Rawdog of how his dad used to take him out for pizza to a restaurant that nobody else was at except a table of Italian guys. So of course that makes it a front for mob money laundering, which in turn brings us to Ellis wanting to bang Adele. And that pretty much covers UFC news. What? Pizza, American’s didn’t invent it and German’s didn’t invent the hamburger. The Hobbit, it sounds like a massive hunk of turd-crap movie that’s too damn long.

iPope location service de-activated.

iPope location service de-activated.

Some angry protestors showed up at the Vatican, they were mad that the Pope said gay marriage and abortion are threats to world peace. Which of course means that if you disagree with him, you shall burn in a lake of fire. Maybe. Or possibly not, nobody really knows. Dingo was baptized, but he considers himself more Christian than Catholic. Sounds like some pound for pound talk. Another church in New Zealand thinks that Jesus is gay and since it’s Christmas time, it’s the perfect time him to come out of the closet as a homosexual man baby. The Game’s new album cover depicts a thug Jesus, which is totally fucking gangster because he’s reppin’ the hood. There’s also palm trees in the image so I assume that means Jesus likes the beach scene too. Cumtard was put under some scrutiny after saying that he blacked out for the entire Wreckoning, but then came to at some point at his apartment and kept drinking. He says he has no recollection of yelling at one of his chick friends that he wants to bang, but something seems amiss in his story to the guys.

Family matters in the public eye typically works out very well.

Family matters in the public eye typically works out very well.

Hollywood news time and Kat Von D got engaged to Deadmau5, on Twitter – so you know it’s gonna last. Kelly Clarkson got engaged as well, she did Tweet about it, but wasn’t proposed to over Twitter or any other social media website, so sorry Kelly, you lose. Janice Dickinson also got engaged, she’s in her 50’s so you know damn well Twitter wasn’t involved at all – however, Medicare was. Brooke Mueller is getting out of rehab for the 19th time, one could only assume she’s planning  her 20th rehab visit sometime just after the New Year. ABC Network has green lit a project to document Justin Bieber’s life before he rose to fame, which is old news because we did a story on Justin “Cream Corn” Bieber way before it was cool. Final calls, some dude with a wife and kids isn’t getting any sex from his wife or his kids, and that’s bullshit. Now he’s Mr. Creepy Guy, staring at any piece of gash that walks by, welcome to getting old my friend. Have a seat. Another dude called in to give his two cents on the Cumtard and his alcoholic writing tendencies, but what the fuck does that guy know? He’s not even an alcoholic in training. Another caller chimed in to ask if the guys thought they could make it in a real man’s world. I think he meant working 8+ hours a day and not hunting down buffalo with no other weapons than your cock. Another dude called in, him and his wife split up but lived together, she ended up kicking him out so she could suck another dude’s dick. After getting bored with his dick, she went back to her ex and said she made a “mistake” and they got back together. Turns out she’s still be texting this other dude and misses his cock now too. Anyways, that’s how it goes when you’re with that cock starved slut that you call your mother. OH!

Adele on New Music Tuesday – 2/22/11 (History)

If you watched the 2012 Grammy Awards you probably saw Adele win over, and over, and over. She left with a total of six! Let’s go back and listen to how Rawdog, J.Ellis, Mayhem, Danny Kass, and the Dingo reviewed “Rolling in the Deep”.

Download (link to MP3)