Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/2/2013


  Happy New Year Bitches!

Its’ been a long time, we shouldn’ta left you, without a dope recap to step to.  But their fucking best of’s, and we got shit to do.  Today was live though, first of the year, and started with the reminiscing of that time Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom.  Its shit like that he does to help the world, so EllisFam like you and i don’t get all pissed off with the morons living amongst us.  So the next time some idiot cuts you off in traffic, and fucks your lady, you can thank Ellis for not getting so pissed.  So what happened over the break for the fellas?  Rawdog didn’t get laid, but did go to some formal party with Bentley and did get to jerk off his roommate when the ball(s) dropped.  Tully got all spur of the moment n shit and took his wife n kid to Palm Springs so he could hang at a gay bar.  Ellis took his kids n lady to Mammoth Mountain, got ’em ski lessons n shit, and told Katie to Harden The Fuck Up for all the wrong reasons.  Thank god Jude showed up to spare us the drama and instead bring us stories of babies painting playpens in shit.  Jude also got the recap of the Reckoning from Rawdog, who is now a real man, taking that dick like he did, and is ready for a kick ass 2013, you go girl!  OH, and whats a new years break without movies?  Ellis saw Jack Reacher said its was pretty fucking good.  Tully saw Ted and also said it was pretty fucking good.  Rawdog saw Django Unchained, also saying its was pretty fucking good.  Jude on the other hand, saw Django Unchained as well, but in a black neighborhood, and its was not a pretty fucking good idea, but the movie was kinda sweet.  And everyone should see Killer Joe cause Thomas Hayden Church is the fucking man and you can suck it!




Couldnt find a naked one armed man holding an arm….

Maryland got the gay, allowing their states first same sex marriage.  Tesla is more than just a shitty decent 80’s band, but also a bad ass electric car thats Ellis Show approved and American made brother!  Who had the worst New Years you wonder, maybe this woman Tully ran into at Fat Burger that not only broke up with her boyfriend, but her car broke down and she slept the night in the parking lot.  I’m sure someone out there has a worse story, and maybe it involves a car ride up a long windy road, in Australia of course, and your stopped by a naked man, covered in blood, holding an arm.  If so, dude you totally shoulda called the show, cause Ellismate had a box of shit he needed to get rid of to whoever had the best story involving the naked blood covered arm carrying man, and how he fucking got their in the first place.  Quite a few callers with some good ideas n shit, but none of which can be put into words, so go back and listen for yourself.  Of course, if you were curious what Rawdog or Tully would do in a situation with this crazed maniac…..Tully would just turn around n leave, while Rawdog would reason with the fine gentleman.




Another Rawdog Classic!

Hollywood News time muthafuckers!  Kim Kardashian had a baby, oh shit thats not news worthy never mind.  Kayne West fucked Kim Kardashian and made that bitch have a baby, thats Hollywood News!  Justin Bieber was smoking weed in his Ferrari and some paparazzi dude got ran over for talking shit, says Rawdog.  Then Tully, being super dad n all, had a long heart to heart with us all on the dangers of the paparazzi, and on listening to Rawdog and not reading the story for yourself, seriously people.  Then shit got real realer when a mysterious wooden box showed up that Ellis thought could contain a bomb or snakes maybe.  Problem solved, they just got Cumtard to open the box, which contained…….some cool super cross thingie sent from Trey Canard #41 moto dude, who’s got a movie out about his 2012 life story titled REvival 41, check it out.  I’m sure you’ll check out Rawdog’s new movie coming out one day, you know the romantical comedy about Shoebox and Adrianna Curry….oh and Ellis will also be making a movie, well a documentary, about Rawdog making his movie = video gold!  Anyways back to Hollywood news with Rawdog, about how Katt Williams got into a fight with Sooge Knight and managed to film the shit on his phone.  Nick Stahl, dude was in Terminator 3, was arrested by the Celebrity Jerk Off Cop.  Latrell Sprewell, the man the myth the legend, knows how to fucking party, but has racist neighbors.  Hugh Hefner has made one lady super fucking rich in like 10 years.  If you google image search ‘100 year old dicks’…….well, you know.  Lady Gaga hates her fans that hate themselves.  Did Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do it?  Matthew McConaughey did it, again, for the 3rd time.  Theres your fix of what happened in Hollywood while we were all having TJES withdraws, good on ya.



Scientology is wierd enough, but some dude wrote “The Church of Fear” exposing some shit about the odd religion, such as an impenetrable fortress built in the desert for aliens to find when we all eventually die off.  Oh and Tully has some fucking sweet Japanese underwear that are silky smooth.  Shout out to one Todd Richards for hooking up with some Go Pro cameras, fuck yeah!  You know what else happened over the break, UFC 155 bitches.  I didn’t watch it though, but Cain Velasquez is your heavyweight champ again, battering Junior Dos Santos in the rematch to take back the belt.  There were other fights too, but whatever bro go read up on that shit its old news.  The new news is Ellis is gonna get killed by all of MMA for punching Ronda Rousey, in the future when shes on his show and tries to snap him in an arm bar.  Also in the future, Cain Velasquez will have to fight Alistair Overeem a.k.a Ovaries a.k.a. Walrus Man, whos all jacked up on steroids n raw feeder fish, had to be there.  In case you weren’t there in the beginning, when Ellis got that one chic to put a phone in another girls ass, and called in on the air, and he thanked his mom – he played the vintage audio for you.  In case you weren’t there over the break, when we weren’t writing recaps, and were TP-ing your moms, while I can’t show you the pics from that alleged day, this outta give you a good idea….





Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/19/2012

No Shit!

                   No Shit!

Welcome to Wednesday, a normal day like any other.  The studio has been fucked up yet again, and life is meaningless so put that in your pipe and smoke it.  On a lighter note, precum is cool.  I mean its the fucking place to be.  Our life goal should be to live in a state of precum.  As Tully broke it down to us, we hold back on the final stage of cuming, so we can enjoy the bit before that…..the precum stage.  Makes as much sense as Ellis wanting to be a little girl, not a woman but a little girl.  Not a teenage girl either, with all that fucked up acne n all fat n shit.  High school’s a bitch for a bitch, and apparently for Australians too as its just really training for jail.  Ellis used to get called a skaghead back in school, which is a term for a heroin addict who’s homeless, not too far off.  In Rawdogs jew school, the popular kids were still nerds and they had no good sports teams.  Oh and Tully knew a dude in high school that got an offer to play soccer for a women’s college team, pink dragons to you my friend.    Wanna see an Eagle snatch up a baby?  And that video there is why we should ban automatic weapons and shit.  Per Ellis, lets just keep it to rifles and handguns.  Per Tully, keep ’em filled with blanks if you keep ’em in the house.  I ain’t touching the whole gun issue, so instead here’s a story of a 60 car pile up on the 5.


Blah Blah Blah? Blah Blah Blah Blah!

Ramona Bruland is some cunt your gonna start seeing more of…..if you watch the X games.  Seems Sal Masekela’s out and ESPN got this chic to replace him.  We don’t know much about her, but she was a snowboarder “briefly”, appeared on Bold and the Beautiful a few times, and did some plumtv shit.  Maybe Dingo knows her?  Anyways, this is a bad move per Ellismate, since she’s not “one of us”.  She really isn’t, is anyone being interviewed by her going to have a clue who she is, or give a fuck what she has to say.  After all, would you rather watch her trying to relate to a back flip, or maybe Dingo TJ Lavin or even Todd Richards.  Truth is it don’t matter what we folks want, its what the corporate suits want, control.  And this broad seems to be the definition of puppet.  That’s a reason why Ellis left EPSN, not wanting to wear their X games shit over his sponsors gear, despite them trying to demand that shit.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Well, he did have it as a kid, and Ellis noticed him doing the same shit today.  He was doing some kind of mumbling after he spoke, which later turned out to be him repeating what he just said, or so Tully and Ellis think.  Will said that Cumtard said that the fake Avril chic said she noticed it before too, so it must be true.  So why was Josh raised as a girl?  And is he a hypochondriac schizophrenic with alzheimer’s on the verge of a stroke?  Gotta tune in and find out bro.


So what do you boys think of these?  Not too shabby “Blair”, those are very intercourseable.  Well, you fuckers have complained too long, heres your wish if you’ve been missing the classic segment, “Dude, Am I A Slut?”  Here we go; Josie is 20, with 34DD tits, and was pissed some dude pulled out and came on her back….Not a slut Josie, just a bitch.  Erica has been dating a dude for 4 years, engaged for 2, and they haven’t had sex yet with “Turd McStiffenson” being all Catholic and shit….not a slut, in fact what the fuck did you call for?  Tonya, 27 years ancient, found out her ex cheated on her so went and fucked all his boys and his female cousin too….not a slut, yup thats the verdict!  Lisa is 36 and her man is hung like horse, and she chows beav, and had sex at the pool with some chic in public….not a slut. Thats 0 for 4 if your scoring at home, of course not with any of these bitches…so how about Jackie, she and her girl friends took turns fucking some random dudes at different places throughout a roughly 5 hour window…..DING!  Not only do we have our first slut, but that bitch is invited to the prize chamber at The Wing’s house, ‘cept he hung up on her slutty ass.  In the search for Jackie to call back, we played ‘Are you a lady, rapist or sex offender’ which I’m sure is hear to stay.  All in all it is what it is, nah mean!


Ever hear the expression “ain’t got a pot to piss in”, well these mother fuckers here done bought the pot to piss and shit in, to go with the really cheap apartment that didn’t come with such amenities.   They sir are morons, ok that segue failed, but Jizz Cult didn’t with his crazy wacky game ‘You Sir Are A Moron’.  If you don’t know how to play, that kind makes it better really.  Some of the topics were 100 Rawdogs verses one Jason Ellis (Not the Lycan sized Ellis, but the real life version), when do you tell a chic you have an STD, which is never by the way.  The most amount of money ok to gamble away at Vegas, yeah Will set this game up.  Most valuable thing to steal from work – Tattoo of Hello Kitty on your head or a tat of Hitler on your ass.  One million bucks in exchange for your penis being 50% size, what the fuck kinda games are these Jizz Cult?  Drink a gallon of pee or eat small nugget sized turd?  Watch your parents fuck or jerk it for your grandma?  Thats it I’m fucking out of here.



             What if Grandma likes it, and goes for it, then what?


Hollywood news time ladies and douche knuckles, and Sam Donaldson got a DUI in Delaware.  Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?  Ke$ha’s new smash hit single ‘Die Young‘ has been pulled from radio station play due to its suggestive and inappropriate title.  Like Too Short said, “It was all good just a week ago”.  Tom Cruise talks about being a big pussy to Jimmy Fallon.  Sounds like Bieber got him some new snatch to get over the Smellena Gomez bitch.   Lindsay Lohan says she didn’t take a massive shit to clog up those toilets as she was accused of.  Psycho Mike is not only banging Landon Donovan’s ex, but he married her.  Obama is Time’s Man of the Year, again.  Cullen a.k.a The Backbone is Faction, SiriusXM and just life in general’s Man Of The Year for playing the greatest ‘Dude Am I A Slut’ of all time after the show ended if you wanna check it out OnDemand or some shit.  Oh and Sal Masekela texted Ellis back saying thanks for calling him and fag and all, mad respect.  As if Canada hasn’t had enough, we find out that Lacrosse is the national sport.  However bad they are, they can’t be as bad as this douche bag radio dude just ripping of The Jason Ellis Show.  I’m not even going to dignify you with a name, just he’s from the San Antonio market, has bits like “Your a slut if…” and shock collars and all that shit, plus some repeating guests as Ellis too.  This seems so obvious that even Tully and Will call bullshit on this dude.  Also, this sparked the age old question of what Ellis has stolen from other shows over the years.  Maybe he stole part of Bubba’s shock collar bits, or Howard’s voice machine idea.  Nah mate, you are!  Truth is, Ellis never stole shit from anybody, and as Tully reminds us, just about everything gets recycled over at some point as theres only so many things you can do over years of radio.    Its kinda like the other night, I did this move where I jumped off the edge of the bed, dick first into your mom’s gaping twat, while doing a 360 and grabbing my balls, only to hear her tell me @AZ_RedDragon and @bitpimps took turns doing that on her last week, OH!