Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/19/2012

No Shit!

                   No Shit!

Welcome to Wednesday, a normal day like any other.  The studio has been fucked up yet again, and life is meaningless so put that in your pipe and smoke it.  On a lighter note, precum is cool.  I mean its the fucking place to be.  Our life goal should be to live in a state of precum.  As Tully broke it down to us, we hold back on the final stage of cuming, so we can enjoy the bit before that…..the precum stage.  Makes as much sense as Ellis wanting to be a little girl, not a woman but a little girl.  Not a teenage girl either, with all that fucked up acne n all fat n shit.  High school’s a bitch for a bitch, and apparently for Australians too as its just really training for jail.  Ellis used to get called a skaghead back in school, which is a term for a heroin addict who’s homeless, not too far off.  In Rawdogs jew school, the popular kids were still nerds and they had no good sports teams.  Oh and Tully knew a dude in high school that got an offer to play soccer for a women’s college team, pink dragons to you my friend.    Wanna see an Eagle snatch up a baby?  And that video there is why we should ban automatic weapons and shit.  Per Ellis, lets just keep it to rifles and handguns.  Per Tully, keep ’em filled with blanks if you keep ’em in the house.  I ain’t touching the whole gun issue, so instead here’s a story of a 60 car pile up on the 5.


Blah Blah Blah? Blah Blah Blah Blah!

Ramona Bruland is some cunt your gonna start seeing more of…..if you watch the X games.  Seems Sal Masekela’s out and ESPN got this chic to replace him.  We don’t know much about her, but she was a snowboarder “briefly”, appeared on Bold and the Beautiful a few times, and did some plumtv shit.  Maybe Dingo knows her?  Anyways, this is a bad move per Ellismate, since she’s not “one of us”.  She really isn’t, is anyone being interviewed by her going to have a clue who she is, or give a fuck what she has to say.  After all, would you rather watch her trying to relate to a back flip, or maybe Dingo TJ Lavin or even Todd Richards.  Truth is it don’t matter what we folks want, its what the corporate suits want, control.  And this broad seems to be the definition of puppet.  That’s a reason why Ellis left EPSN, not wanting to wear their X games shit over his sponsors gear, despite them trying to demand that shit.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has.  Well, he did have it as a kid, and Ellis noticed him doing the same shit today.  He was doing some kind of mumbling after he spoke, which later turned out to be him repeating what he just said, or so Tully and Ellis think.  Will said that Cumtard said that the fake Avril chic said she noticed it before too, so it must be true.  So why was Josh raised as a girl?  And is he a hypochondriac schizophrenic with alzheimer’s on the verge of a stroke?  Gotta tune in and find out bro.


So what do you boys think of these?  Not too shabby “Blair”, those are very intercourseable.  Well, you fuckers have complained too long, heres your wish if you’ve been missing the classic segment, “Dude, Am I A Slut?”  Here we go; Josie is 20, with 34DD tits, and was pissed some dude pulled out and came on her back….Not a slut Josie, just a bitch.  Erica has been dating a dude for 4 years, engaged for 2, and they haven’t had sex yet with “Turd McStiffenson” being all Catholic and shit….not a slut, in fact what the fuck did you call for?  Tonya, 27 years ancient, found out her ex cheated on her so went and fucked all his boys and his female cousin too….not a slut, yup thats the verdict!  Lisa is 36 and her man is hung like horse, and she chows beav, and had sex at the pool with some chic in public….not a slut. Thats 0 for 4 if your scoring at home, of course not with any of these bitches…so how about Jackie, she and her girl friends took turns fucking some random dudes at different places throughout a roughly 5 hour window…..DING!  Not only do we have our first slut, but that bitch is invited to the prize chamber at The Wing’s house, ‘cept he hung up on her slutty ass.  In the search for Jackie to call back, we played ‘Are you a lady, rapist or sex offender’ which I’m sure is hear to stay.  All in all it is what it is, nah mean!


Ever hear the expression “ain’t got a pot to piss in”, well these mother fuckers here done bought the pot to piss and shit in, to go with the really cheap apartment that didn’t come with such amenities.   They sir are morons, ok that segue failed, but Jizz Cult didn’t with his crazy wacky game ‘You Sir Are A Moron’.  If you don’t know how to play, that kind makes it better really.  Some of the topics were 100 Rawdogs verses one Jason Ellis (Not the Lycan sized Ellis, but the real life version), when do you tell a chic you have an STD, which is never by the way.  The most amount of money ok to gamble away at Vegas, yeah Will set this game up.  Most valuable thing to steal from work – Tattoo of Hello Kitty on your head or a tat of Hitler on your ass.  One million bucks in exchange for your penis being 50% size, what the fuck kinda games are these Jizz Cult?  Drink a gallon of pee or eat small nugget sized turd?  Watch your parents fuck or jerk it for your grandma?  Thats it I’m fucking out of here.



             What if Grandma likes it, and goes for it, then what?


Hollywood news time ladies and douche knuckles, and Sam Donaldson got a DUI in Delaware.  Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?  Ke$ha’s new smash hit single ‘Die Young‘ has been pulled from radio station play due to its suggestive and inappropriate title.  Like Too Short said, “It was all good just a week ago”.  Tom Cruise talks about being a big pussy to Jimmy Fallon.  Sounds like Bieber got him some new snatch to get over the Smellena Gomez bitch.   Lindsay Lohan says she didn’t take a massive shit to clog up those toilets as she was accused of.  Psycho Mike is not only banging Landon Donovan’s ex, but he married her.  Obama is Time’s Man of the Year, again.  Cullen a.k.a The Backbone is Faction, SiriusXM and just life in general’s Man Of The Year for playing the greatest ‘Dude Am I A Slut’ of all time after the show ended if you wanna check it out OnDemand or some shit.  Oh and Sal Masekela texted Ellis back saying thanks for calling him and fag and all, mad respect.  As if Canada hasn’t had enough, we find out that Lacrosse is the national sport.  However bad they are, they can’t be as bad as this douche bag radio dude just ripping of The Jason Ellis Show.  I’m not even going to dignify you with a name, just he’s from the San Antonio market, has bits like “Your a slut if…” and shock collars and all that shit, plus some repeating guests as Ellis too.  This seems so obvious that even Tully and Will call bullshit on this dude.  Also, this sparked the age old question of what Ellis has stolen from other shows over the years.  Maybe he stole part of Bubba’s shock collar bits, or Howard’s voice machine idea.  Nah mate, you are!  Truth is, Ellis never stole shit from anybody, and as Tully reminds us, just about everything gets recycled over at some point as theres only so many things you can do over years of radio.    Its kinda like the other night, I did this move where I jumped off the edge of the bed, dick first into your mom’s gaping twat, while doing a 360 and grabbing my balls, only to hear her tell me @AZ_RedDragon and @bitpimps took turns doing that on her last week, OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 10/29/2012

Whatever life hands you, take it like a bitch.

Welcome friends, this is Monday’s re-cap and it’s going to feel so good once it slides it way into you, right to the top. Ellis spent the morning crying his eyes out after waking up super early in the morning and watching some sad-ass tear jerker of a movie called Evening. Hey, Dingo was on the show today, he’s horrible at guessing movies, thinks Helen Hunt is Meryl Streep, and they play retarded cows. Tully served Julia Roberts a coffee sometime in 1997, and no riots broke out – so that proves that Rawdog’s James Franco sighting at the movies doesn’t mean jack shit.  Did you guys hear about the rain that is falling and the wind that is blowing in the American north east? People are shitting their pants, I assume because they’ve never been near a tornado that appears out of no where and wipes the fucking earth bare. At least with hurricanes, you get tons of warning and time. If they tell you to evacuate, do that shit. Otherwise, you bust a deal, you face the wheel.

Thy hurled and blacked outeth.

Sounds like Bubba The Cum Sponge’s ex-wife might be the one who released the tape of her and Hulk Hogan slapping skins, or whatever. But I don’t give a shit and suggest that you should not give a shit either. Somebody got zapped by a guard at the Castle of Tom Cruiseland, and still, I do not give a shit. Some chick that Rawdog knows got mistaken for Zooey Deschanel looking to buy a house in Burbank – which according to Rawdog is pure completely not true. And you know what my thoughts are on that? Don’t care and neither should you. Rawdog (dressed as a ninja) went to a Halloween party with a blacked out Cumtard (dressed as a pirate) this weekend. Before that though, they stopped at Rawdog’s place so he could chat it up with his gay roommates hot friend, who happens to be a girl. The real story here is that Rawdog fell asleep at the party (what an animal), wakes up and finds Cumtard drunk as fuck playing tracks on YouTube and dancing with 2 other dudes. The rest of the story was that Rawdog and Cumtard go home, they stop at Rawdog’s so Cumtard can use the bathroom. The big bomb dropped in this story? Cumtard left the door open. What. The. Fuck. And that was shitty story time with Rawdog and Cumtard.

Wuurt, Wuurt, in de Buurt! Time for the Reverse Awards!

2012 Reverse Awards were announced today, with over two thousand responses tabulated, here are your winners!
Smallest Butthole award goes to: Joanna Angel
Best Podcast award goes to: Mad Scientist Party Hour
Smartest Virgin award goes to: Rawdog
Least Punchable Face award goes to: Rihanna
Most Alive Celebrity award goes to: Will Ferrell
Smartest On-Air Comment award goes to: Gabi Richmond
Person With The Least Heads award goes to: Rihanna
Least Rapey Celebrity Father award goes to: Michael Lohan
She’s Still Got It award goes to: Courtney Love
Band Of The Year award goes to: Neutral Milk Hotel
Athlete Of The Year award goes to: Travis Pastrana’s agent
Least Smelly Box award goes to: Linda Hogan
Most Human Looking award goes to: Shaun White
Best Reality Show award goes to: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
Best Actor award goes to: Adam Sandler
Woman Of The Year award goes to: Nick Cannon
Man Of The Year award goes to: Jason “Mayhem” Miller

Now to final calls, mostly about stripper poles. One big dude that called in, he’s large and he spins around on his stripper pole without it falling down – the one thing I really took for this particular call was that he’s the only one who ever uses it. The only one who ever uses it. Let that sink in. Big dude. Only one who ever uses it. That’s sad. There were more calls about what Ellis should get into next, as a physical hobby. We heard all sorts of suggestions, and pretty much all of them were shot down in a blaze of glory by Ellis. Oh, also, we came up with a great Halloween costume idea, but we’re having a hard time finding just the right amount of cottage cheese to wear in our thighs, ass, and arms to really look (pound for pound) like your mother. OH!

Hulk Hogan sex tape (History)

If you have been paying attention to gossip news lately, you’ve probably seen that the Hulk Hogan sex tape is becoming a major news item. The guys briefly discussed the sex tapes, Hulk Hogan, and Bubba a couple times before they left for vacation. Who’s lying? Is Hulk the victim he says he is?

Hulk Hogan Sex tape – 10/10/12

Download (link to MP3)

Hulk Hogan Sex tape – 10/11/12

Download (link to MP3)

Hulk Hogan Sex tape – 10/12/12

Download (link to MP3)

In fact the guys talked about the rumor of a Hulk Hogan sex tape over 6 months earlier!

Hulk Hogan Sex tape – 3/7/12

Download (link to MP3)

The sex tape is really all just superficial bullshit. What interests me is the people behind it. Namely Bubba and Heather. They have actually effected The Jason Ellis Show more than you might realize….

How so? Let’s recall the history between BTLS and Ellis:

Let’s set the stage. Back in 2005 Spike TV began to help promote the UFC. It was part of their strategy to provide a channel with programming for guys. In 2006 one of their new tv shows to begin taping was a program called “Wild World of Spike” starring Ellis and muay thai fighter Kit Cope. In addition, the UFC often promoted their events by inviting popular radio programs to broadcast from Las Vegas the day before a major fight. One of the radio shows chosen early on was The BTLS Show. Add up all those elements and you get: The BTLS Show, Ellis, Heather, Kit Cope, and Matt Hughes all in Vegas, live on satellite radio, on 8/26/2006 for UFC 62.

The BTLS Show, live in Las Vegas – 8/26/2006

Download (link to MP3)

Ellis calls in to promote ‘Wild World of Spike’ – 1/5/2007

Download (link to MP3)

So UFC fighter Matt Hughes choked out Jason, so what? Well that moment could be considered a (or the?) major catalyst that started Ellis’s interest in MMA and boxing. Soon after, Kit Cope began helping Jason get started in the gym. His boxing training lead to Ellismanias. Ellismanias lead to Fuel TV shows, a book deal, a bigger contract, etc. Besides Tony Hawk asking Ellis to join him on Demolition Radio, it may be one of the biggest turning points in Jason’s career.

Early fans of The Jason Ellis Show also may know that a ‘beef’ later developed between Jason and Bubba. That ‘radio battle’ carried on till Bubba eventually left satellite radio around December 2010. Ellis took that as a win and a big ego boost. He gained a lot of Bubba’s old fans and it, again, helped him gain that bigger contract. Shoebox began the trouble (anyone remember the name “Debbie Hernandez”?) but it was our good pal Gabe Rudiger that really got things stirred up.

BTLS flips out over Ellis – 6/11/10

Download (link to MP3)

The Gabe Ruediger incident – 8/27/10

Download (link to MP3)

Ellis/Andrea and Bubba/Heather divorced almost simultaneously in the fall/winter 2011. If you recall, soon after the two marriages dissolved Heather began following and tweeting to @ellismate. The tweets, and especially the fans that got involved by tweeting @Andreamate, caused serious issues. It got so intense that Ellis smashed the Macbook Dingo gave him as a birthday present and Jason almost quit twitter (Andrea wisely did).

Bubba divorce mention 10/10/11

Download (link to MP3)

Heather Clem tweets Ellis – 12/5/11

Download (link to MP3)

Fans cause drama between Andrea & Heather Clem – 12/13/11

Download (link to MP3)

Ellis finally loses his temper, plans to close his twitter account and smashes his Macbook – 12/20/11

Download (link to MP3)

Following those outbursts, The Jason Ellis Show has changed quite a bit. Although I suppose it’s up for debate, I would argue that after those events Ellis became more guarded talking about his personal life and has become noticeably less friendly with the fans/callers.

Show Re-cap For Monday 6/25/2012

Wisconsin Hooters Representin’

It’s Monday and Ellis still doesn’t have his truck back from West Coast Customs, maybe because Xzibit is trying to put wolves in Ellis’ woofers. Probably not though. Ellis is still making nice with Covino and Rich, he got interviewed by the wife of one of them while he was in Miami judging the hooters of girls from Hooters. He’s also publicly apologizing to Bubba The Love Sponge, Opiddity & Anthony, and others, but has yet to apologize to our mothers for shitting their fish tanks. Rawdog helped analyze Ellis’ dream of flying over houses and banging pots and pans, and claims that his dream means he wants to find a woman to fuck. Sounds legit. Since Rawdog lost his bet this weekend after Clay Guida lost to Gray Maynard, he gets to eat and drink some healthy shit today. As you can imagine, Rawdog was struggling through his green kelp shake (or whatever it was) and salad with salmon on it. The really impressive part? When Rawdog asked, with all sincerity, if you eat salad with a fork or your hands. Amazing.

Where’s the love?

Speaking of the Guida vs Maynard fight, apparently Dana White is pretty pissed about how the fight went and how it was judged. Blah, blah, blah, Guida monkey, blah, blah, points, blah, blah, put on a show, blah, blah, blah, and then Franklin knocked out The Axe Murderer, blah, blah, and people left the fights early. Get all that? Good, let’s move on. There’s a chance for three more listeners to get in on a fight at Ellismania 8 for the good ole’ blindfolded dog shock collar fight, as long as their names aren’t @cogdeth or @Dutch_RDS. Mayhem came on the show today and brought with him Big Daddy Mayhem Cakes. I don’t know if anyone else has caught this feeling or if it’s just me, but it really does seem like ever since Mayhem retired, he’s changed a little bit and so to it seems like the relationship between he and Ellis has as well. I don’t know, maybe I’m just reading into things. But you can’t deny the recent “n-bomb” fiasco, the excuse of “not kid friendly image” for Mayhem to go to the Hooters contest, and then Ellis ignoring the invite to Mayhem’s pineapple pool party.

While Rawdog’s dad may not have been proud to know that salad is so foreign to his son that he has no idea if you eat it with a fork or your fingers, I had a proud moment while writing this re-cap and my daughter was sitting on the toilet peeing, singing Any Way You Want It by Journey. Do you ever wonder if your mom has ever been proud of you? I mean I’m sure she has been at some point, though probably not as proud as she was of herself for breaking the most anal cream-pies taken in one day world record that she just keeps shattering. OH!

Oh yes she did!