It’s here, and it’s queer! Wait. No. WE… ARE… LIVE! From Tupelo. Wait. No. From Las Vegas, Vinyl at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. You might have heard about it, EllisMania 10? It’s a thing. The gang is all there, Ellis, Tully, Will, Cumtard, Andrew, Hotdog, Cullen, Dingo, Katie, the Boyce Brothers, Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man, pretty much everyone. Vinyl is at maximum capacity so some people are unable to get in to watch the show. It’s fuckin’ loud and there’s a lot of people staring at Ellis’ head and Dingo is dressed as a kangaroo. Sounds like Hotdog might have brought his own keg of beer to town in Ellis’ truck. Tully’s side bitch, Bunny, might be getting a beat down by Katie for not showing Tully her tits. Thomas Hayden Church and Betsy donated $10,000 each to go to Everlast’s cystic fibrosis charity. Everlast thanked Ellis by calling him a nigger. Continue reading
It’s Monday, which means it’s Dingo Monday after Voda Spay Monday, even though he didn’t Voda today, only Ellis. Dingo’s apartment downtown is kind of party central. One of Diddy’s son’s is looking to possibly use that same apartment building for some kind of release party. As cool as his apartment complex is, they don’t cater – but it’s all good because this is 2014 and there’s an app for that. Dingo loves Eminem and he got to see him live on Friday night, thanks to Rihanna’s manager. Eminem walks like a god right past Dingo, we’re talking like 10 feet from him. A joint manages to get passed around through some heavy hitters in the VIP area. Who gets caught with it, Dingo. He was told to throw it out immediately, but he did the pretend through and left it under his foot. A few minutes goes by and he tries to retrieve the doobage but can’t see very well. Suddenly a flashlight shines to help him see, he picks it up and goes to hand it to whoever helped out by providing the flashlight. BAM, it’s the same cop that busted him the first time and gets a verbal scolding and a stiff warning and that’s the end of the story. Ellis had an Uber driver pick him up & he said something about Armenians. Turns out the driver was Armenian, so Jason called his Armenian friend from Australia and they ended up bro’ing down by the end of it and hugged it out on the street. Ellis also saw Gabe Ruediger over the weekend and Gabe finally came clean about punching a fan (Nipplopolis’ husband) at the bar after EllisMania 9. Ellis also went to a sex dungeon this weekend, with Katie and her girlfriend. He got paddled and quickly realized he didn’t want to be that guy, he wants to be the guy holding the paddle. It’s cool, Dingo doesn’t find him any less attractive for him wanting to be the dungeon master. Did you know that sharks loose 300,000+ teeth in a lifetime? I don’t know if that’s completely accurate or not, it’s from Ellis.
Police are looking for Jonathan Koppenhaver (War Machine) for allegedly beating the shit out of his porn star girlfriend, Christy Mack. Kailin Curran is in the studio, she’s a female MMA fighter who likes to make other women bleed. I mean bleed more than they normally do. As part of her training for her upcoming fight, she kicked Cumtard in the flabs (aka abs) and doubled him over straight away with a 10% kick. One can only imagine the white donut powder that could have expelled from his pores after that kick. Then it was time for Jetta’s turn to get a kick to his stomach to help blow up her Instagram, but with a twist. She did a double leg kick, first to Cumtard again and then a special delivery to care package to Jetta. So Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier were on SportsCenter and hot mics caught them shit talking one another between breaks. Did you know Pitbull has a channel on SXM now? Dingo does, because he knows him pretty well. Pitbull played at Dingo’s birthday party before he really blew up, back when he was just Muttbull. Remember little Tyler Posey? He hosted some awards show or some shit and J-Lo was there. Kellen Lutz is also Dingo’s friend, he was there at the awards show and also went to the Eminem show with Ding. I’m bored, let’s move on.
Ellis will be on Dr. Drew’s HLN show today, I think. He’s supposed to talk about War Machine on the show, so he’ll do just that – god damn it! Or maybe he’ll wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and a monocle and provide alternate theories on what actually went down between War Machine, his porn star girlfriend, and another man. DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNN!!! Tim Silvia is texting with updates to the story and then sent a photo of War Machine’s dick. During dick pic updates, Christy Mack posted graphic photos and her side of the story, on Twitter. Crazy shit man, crazy. Wilson chimed in that maybe Ellis’ angle on the story is that he himself was in an abusive relationship when his then girlfriend would beat the shit out of him for smoking weed and whatnot. Speaking of offensive, body odor man. You gotta keep that shit in check, you can’t just going around dropping your body odor bombs all over normal people. Same goes for you men and women wearing way too much or way too strong cologne or perfume. Get your shit together people, it’s not rocket science. If you walk past people and all them sneeze & start crying, you might be the smelly one. Dr. Drew wants a cock shot selfie of Ellis along with a sexy bio. For the website I mean, maybe Drew will print it & keep it his wallet too, but he wants it under the guise of needing it for the website, so… I guess TMZ will let us know he starts whackin’ it to the selfie. On a less domestic violencey note, Ellis will be leaving tomorrow evening to go to New York to fight for his right to have more control of Faction.
Moto News time, Ryan Dungey is going to take the series. He’s not currently leading the standings, but he’s got the skills to shit on everyone and take the outdoor series. Did you know Nate Hotdog is a reformed cigarette smoker? Also, why is Wilson still disappearing downstairs to the designated smoking section? The guys watched a bunch of videos of portly mothers getting into verbal altercations with kids at skate ramps and such. Just hit YouTube and you’ll run across a ton of those, it’s every other video. Hey, Chael Sonnen competed in some BJJ Metamoris 4 event in LA over the weekend, despite being fired and warned by the athletic commission he could be fined $250,000 smack-a-roo’s. He tapped. Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock have a new reality show called “Gym Rescue” that will compete with the myriad of other “Rescue” shows all over the fucking TV. Sweet Jesus, when will these shows end? Oh, that’s right, never. Because America’s appetite for pure turd television is insatiable. Shark Week is on again. You’ll be amazed to know that you’ll see: sharks swimming, sharks eating, sharks outside of cages, sharks in cages, sharks jumping out of the water, sharks going to the shark dentist, sharks being tagged, sharks on sharks, sharks getting rescued, and sharks rescuing shitty animals from their mundane lives by eating them alive. A-fucking-mazing shark stuff, am I right? In non-shark related news, Tony Stewart accidentally ran over and killed a fool who got out of his vehicle on the track to run over and flap his arms at Tony for racing. While you’re on YouTube looking at women berating children on skateboards, you’ll no doubt run into Tony Stewart in his death cart running over a dude. Also, Robin Williams died of an apparent suicide. Happy fucking Monday!
It’s the aftermath of EllisMania 9, some of you are probably still drunk and some of probably feel like you need to push your eyeballs back into your heads and shave your tongues. We got a shitload to get to today, so bare with me. Ellis is still feeling the effects of the weekend, he came back with more free shit than what he left with. He’s super happy with everyone and how things went even though this EllisMania wasn’t quite as polished – but it still worked and it worked good. The fans were cool for the most part, but there were a few that had way too much to drink, which made it hard for Ellis to talk to them. With people that drink too much, comes more chances for drama, and there was some drama. Shit. Wait. I already fucked up. First, I should tell you that Dingo is in studio today, which is impressive, but Rawdog is not in studio today, and it sounds like there is a story behind it – but we’ll get into that later. Okay, now that we have that cleared up, let’s keep moving forward by going back to the past. So when Ellis arrived in Vegas and found out he didn’t have his usual room, Katie was expecting Ellis to flip out. He didn’t, at all. He was fine and the room that he did get was the tits so he was still in a good mood. Okay, now let’s hop to Saturday night really quick. Tim Sabean was there and has told Wilson how impressed he was with not only the event, but with how Ellis fought. He was impressed enough that he actually sent some video and pictures to his bosses and told them they had to see it and how impressive it was. Also, Tully is into fisting and Wilson, as we all know, is into lanyards, saw the EllisFam lanyard and really wants one – you listening @Wolfman812?
Back to Friday’s live broadcast from Vegas. For as much as nothing was really planned and nobody showed up for weigh-in’s, the radio show still worked and worked well. Plus, Ellis may have allegedly saw a bit of vagoo, along with 50 other fans of the show. Sam Ruben made a call into the show today to yammer on about himself a little and talk about how his fake fight went with Tera Patrick. Ellis called him out about emailing the show asking to make sure he doesn’t get hit in the face, yet wanting to have a “real” fight, potentially with Tully. Ellis and Tully wouldn’t let Sam wiggle in his bullshit about wanting to have a real fight but not wanting to get hit in the face. Sam tried to save a little face, but they weren’t about to let him off the hook that easily. Who cares, he’s a weasel. Now, back to Friday, this time at the Death! Death! Die! show. Apparently Christian was fucking up pretty good, which made everyone else in the band feel better about their performance since Shoebox is pretty much the most professional musician in the band. Even with the mistakes, the guys felt like the show was probably the best show they’ve put on. Several fans got to go up and try singing with the band, but one fan, Zach, seemed to stand out for singing Pain of Time.
Now, here’s your fair warning. Go grab your popcorn or whatever snack of your choice, grab yourself a drink, hit the bathroom, make sure you’re comfortable, and get ready for the inevitable EllisMania 9 drama for your baby mama that accompanies any large gathering of drunk people.
So why isn’t Josh there today? Apparently Friday night got a little fucked up, there was some drama, and now Josh and Ellis aren’t cool with each other right now. Friday night, Rawdog called up Ellis saying he and his girlfriend needed to go to Ellis’ room and talk to him right away. Ellis was trying to relax and stay in the zone for his fight and told Josh to just tell him on the phone since they’re on the phone with each other right now, not to mention Ellis isn’t too fond of Josh’s girlfriend. Josh proceeds to tell Ellis that someone in his and his girlfriend’s group of friends had gotten drugged, something slipped in their drink, at the Circle Bar and claimed it was a very well known and longtime member of EllisFam. This EllisFam member (who shall remain anonymous) is well known for buying drinks for people, expensive drinks at that, and just enjoys doing that sort of thing and always has. From the sounds of it, Ellis basically asked what they wanted him to do about it, he wasn’t there, he didn’t know what was going on, he didn’t drug anyone, and there was nothing he could do. Josh says that he didn’t ask Ellis to do anything, he was merely asking if Ellis would talk to his girlfriend and maybe tell her what she should do. The paramedics were called and the guy who they thought had gotten drugged was still awake, responding, and generally just sick. In-studio roofie experts Dingo and Christian Hand both said they know people who have been roofied before and the guy showed none of those symptoms. Dingo also claimed that there is a rash of roofie slipping go around Las Vegas lately, but mainly as a tool to rob people. The EllisFam member in question was seen on security footage purchasing and giving drinks to Rawdog and his girlfriend, but was never seen doing anything to the drinks. Christian and Will did all but vouch for this EllisFam member as they have hung out with them on many different occasions and have talked to him extensively at this and previous EllisManias. The EllisFam member was distraught that they were being accused and felt horrible about the incident, and later had talked to Christian after being exonerated by security. The overall consensus in the studio is that this EllisFam member did not poison anyone and that the guy Josh & his girlfriend believe was drugged did not get roofied, maybe they were given something else, or were just super-hyper drunk or something, but it wasn’t roofies and it wasn’t the person who they accused. Josh’s girlfriend said on Twitter that it wasn’t that they wanted Ellis to do anything but show some concern, and so she and Josh think Ellis should call and apologize to his girlfriend. Ellis says there’s nothing for him to apologize for, Will, Tully, Dingo, and Christian seem to agree. Ellis says he still loves Josh, he’s not going to fire him or anything like that, he feels this is more about Josh’s girlfriend instead of Josh, he understands that Josh is put into a position, he knows this and radio is hard for Josh, he does not want anyone giving Josh any kind of shit over this, and says that it will all work out one way or another. And there you have it, that was the story that was told to the listeners. While you’re free to make your own judgments, why would you? It doesn’t involve you (most likely) and you only know what has been told to you on the radio. These things have a way of working out on their own, one way or another.
What? You want more drama? Well good news for you then, there was no shortage of drama. Here’s the next scandalous story to come out of EllisMania 9. Word on the street is that Gabe punched a fan at Body English later Saturday night after his fight with Ellis. Ellis was on his way to meet Gabe for a congratulatory drink and when he gets there, the drama is already in full swing and people are telling him that Gabe has punched one of the fans. The security guard told Ellis that he had been standing there the whole time and that Gabe didn’t “do shit”, but several fans came to say otherwise. So for Ellis, it was another situation that everyone wanted him to do something that he knows nothing about, that may or may not have happened (conflicting stories when he first arrives), even though it had nothing to do with him. Ellis is once again asked to do something on behalf of somebody without having any prior knowledge of, other than what a few people are telling him and he knows everyone has been drinking. Other than that, he’s clueless as to what has transpired because he wasn’t there. Ellis feels like people are mad at him for not doing something about something he has no idea about. Ellis isn’t security, but he wants everything to go smoothly and wants everyone to have a good time. He doesn’t know what to do, nobody would. If you ask a security person, they would just remove everyone involved, wipe their hands clear of the ordeal, and let the police deal with it. The guy that allegedly got punched Johnathan (@puttyman5000?) called into the show to explain his side of the story. He says his wife (@AmeralReid) was wanting to take a photo with Gabe and that out of the blue, Gabe shoved her aside and then punched him. He said he didn’t hear exactly what was said between his wife and Gabe because it was loud and suddenly he ate a knuckle sandwich. Ellis, Tully, and Cumtard asked if he or his wife had a previous conversation with Gabe, he said no, he was completely sober. So basically, he’s saying Gabe, just out of the blue, shoved his wife and punched him for absolutely no apparent reason. Security asked if they wanted to push the issue, get the police involved, etc. and he declined because he didn’t want it to go there. Ellis apologized and he’s not completely dismissing the caller’s claims because there were at least two other people who were completely sober that told Ellis that Gabe did in fact punch this guy. The caller swears that he and his wife didn’t say a word to Gabe, other than asking for a picture, his words: “I don’t think so”, but the story floating around is that either him or his wife were starting to get a little fresh with Gabe. He then admits that there was indeed a previous conversation earlier in the night and mentioned Gabe saying something like “that guy was smirking at me” and I guess that is what they are saying “might” have been the motivating factor in Gabe punching him? I don’t know. I wasn’t there, so I’m just going by what the caller said. Whether the fan was “smirking” at Gabe doesn’t matter, that doesn’t warrant someone punching you, everyone agrees with that. As the guys tried to dig a little deeper to clear things up, the story just got murkier and murkier and it appears that the two main stories going around both conflict each other. Without knowing exactly what went down, again, Ellis apologized to the caller, was glad he wasn’t hurt, and thanked him for coming. Then, the wife of the caller, called in to tell her side of the story! She said that everyone was messing with Gabe on Twitter (pre-fight trash talk I assume) and that she participated but didn’t say anything inappropriate, was “just joking around, and thought it was all in good fun” and that when she got back to her room after the fight meeting, Gabe had tweeted her back to say, “I saw you there but you didn’t have anything to say to my face.” (7:39 PM October 12, 2013) Not exactly what he said, but close enough. So she claims she said “it’s cool, no problem, good luck, have fun tonight” (7:52 PM October 12, 2013) which isn’t exactly what she said, but again, close enough. So far, it appears that she meant no ill will and from what one can tell from tweets alone, everything seemed pretty cordial so far. As far as the Twitter world knows anyway. i’m not weighing in on one side or the other, I’m just trying to relay what has been said and what has been claimed was said. She then says she went up to Gabe and asked for a photo and that Gabe was just like “fuck you, you talk shit about me”, etc. Then she says the reason why Gabe had punched her husband was because he said “that guy right there, that guy hates me.” (Gabe talking to her about her husband) She says, “What? That guy wasn’t even talking to you.” She says Gabe responds, “Why is that guy glaring at me know?” She says, “You know what Gabe, never mind now, it’s cool, like, I don’t want a photo with you.” And that’s when she turned around and Gabe pushed her and punched her husband. She says her husband has a bruise on his cheek and a fat lip to prove it, and she thinks Gabe has to say he didn’t do anything (eluding to legality and professional issues) and that security people told her that she had attacked Gabe and that if they pressed charges against Gabe, Gabe would press charges against her and her husband, and everyone was going to jail. So that’s when she said her and her husband walked away, left on their own, decided to “go to the Circle Bar because they didn’t want to cause any problems or to be the people that bring the drama,” so they left and she says Gabe continued to talk shit on Twitter about her. If you want to see more of the back and forth, start where they left off. She called Gabe a piece of shit, he asks what she’s talking about, is it because he didn’t take a picture with her, she says fuck off, you hit my husband and are a liar, he says no you are, says lets talk in person, she says they didn’t get kicked out, yada, yada, yada. Again, I don’t know what went down and I’m not involving myself in it. I don’t know who is in the wrong or the right. I wasn’t there. Just telling you what was said and what was on Twitter. And then the bell rang and we were out of school and went home to have a snack and watch cartoons. The end.
Did Wilson have a date on Saturday? Turns out, he went to the fight with Erika Ashley (@Erika_Ash). She might not know it was a date. But it totally was. In Will’s mind. Erika didn’t have a ticket, he had an extra ticket, so… you know. Once Will realized he wasn’t getting any of that Erika, he also paid for a ticket for Tim Sabean. Tim might not know it was a date, but it totally was. In Will’s mind. Will didn’t get any of the Tim either, and I guess nobody else could be bought with tickets, so… HAHAA The guys kept jabbing at Will and his “date” with Erika until he ran out of the studio, it was hilarious. Then Ellis talked about his fight was Gabe and how well Gabe did. He also mentioned how he got angry at one point during the fight, dropped his hands and charged after Gabe and kind of got caught. He was getting gassed so he used his rage to muster up enough energy to keep go after Gabe, missing some upper cuts, chased him and caught him twice and put him down. Ellis knew the punches just skimmed Gabe, so he wasn’t very happy about how he performed, but then again he didn’t lose, he’s a better fighter, and everyone had a lot of fun – so he’s not beating himself up over it.
The Vatican commissioned over 6,000 medals to be made and turns out they misspelled Jesus’ name. Whoopsy. Sorry Lesus! There was kangaroo MMA, proving that MMA really is the fastest growing sport in the world. But who gives a shit. Lets move on.
Let’s talk about the Leprechaun or Pinata fight, where there was no pot of gold, no costumes, and no pinata, but there was a Grant Cobb. And to help with the conversation, Christian Hand came into the studio. Kit Cope and Mike Jasper were to fight off 4 different people, to fend them off the pot of gold, or in this case, Grant Cobb. Kit is just beating people up, Kenji jumped in to help swing Jasper and Kit into all the opponents who were easily making their way to Grant and beating him up. As Kenji swung Kit around, Kit was throwing a punch and WHAM-O! Right in Jasper’s face! As you can see in the picture, Jasper’s eyes are shut and he’s falling into the abyss. Jasper got his bell rung hard and hit the canvas, knocked out. Mind you, Jasper has never been knocked out in his career, his very first time getting knocked out was by his team mate at EllisMania 9. Kit goes to pick up Jasper and the opponents are all over Grant. Once Jasper gets up and says he’s okay, the fight resumes and Jasper starts kicking the shit out of everyone, Ellis is yelling for Jasper to stop but Jasper is in kill mode and didn’t hear shit, he was busing chasing people down and kicking the shit out of them. Ellis yells for Kit to tackle his team mate, Jasper, to get him to calm down before Jasper murder’s everyone in the ring. It was fucking amazing! God damn, I’m tired just writing a paragraph about it.
The people’s champ, @cogdeth.won the Musical Chair Fight with authority. Ellis kept calling him @bitPimps and everyone on Twitter had a good laugh while I tried fervently to clear cogdeth’s good name. The guys noticed he had bulked up and was throwing some hard shots. They were also amused to find out that he didn’t change out of his costume after the fights and was out partying in the Circle Bar, still in his sexy get up. The Prison Fight had it’s debut at EllisMania 9, two guys dressed as prisoners, with their hands duct taped together swinging 1 giant hammer fist at each other. @J_Chapel was easily twice the size of his opponent and had gotten slightly overzealous and pulled an accidental illegal punch. That brought in Kenji Gallo, aka MMA Elvis, (@KenjiOC) who gave him a swift kick right in the dick. The Hot Chick Fight was pretty funny as Shantanee (@Shanwize1) kept knocking herself out basically because she would spin around so fast it made her dizzy enough to fall over during each round. Alicia Leii (@AliciaLeii) was super fit as always, almost giving her an unfair advantage because she’s just too good, and.@shandategart was a force to be reconed with as well and ended up winning The Hot Chick Fight. Perry, the dude that has built 2 dick punch machines now, won his fight. I’m way too tired to even go through this one. It was cool, just trust me. Sorry for not getting to the opponents and their names and links to their Twitters. Give me a fuckin’ break, would ya? PLG won his fight against Elliot Sloan. Even though PLG had a fucking asthma attack, Elliot wanted to stop, but Dave (Sluggo’s brother) was not going to let Elliot give up. He yelled at him like a pimp demanding results from a whore that owed him money. It was fantastic. Rawdog got nicknamed “The Golden Camel Toe” because of is costume, he looked fucking awesome. He fought his heart out, at one point his leg was twitching while he was trying to get up from being knocked down by several body punches. You could see his body was telling him to quit, but the fire in his eyes was telling him to go for it. He was god damned champion and fuck you if you try to take that away from him. It was his best EllisMania performance yet and it wasn’t against a girl. He was sore and actually bummed out a bit because he really tried his best and he gave Nick a run for his money, even though Nick was built like a Cinnabon.
During the wait for Ellis to fight Gabe, Dingo, Kit, and TJ Lavin had to kill some time so they opted for an impromptu “Get the cock off your chest” segment. This is where Kit and Dingo really shined. Some guy (Mike?) had one hell of a story about fucking his very first “African American” girl, completely drunk off his ass, with little to no sleep, he even laid down in the fucking ring while the other fans that came up tried to top his story, but to no avail. And in the end, in his stupor, mentioned the chicks name, “Chocolatey” and how there may have allegedly been cocaine involved. It was a crack up / embarrassing. Ellis woke up to find that copious amounts of cigarettes and cocaine had been done in his hotel room and he probably would’ve been more upset about the ciggies if he knew any of that was going down. But he didn’t. So he’s not. Katie found a fucking note in their room to some “Lou” dude that talked about a fucking gun raid on the Palomino Strip Club and it sounded like it was straight out of the movies. This gave Tully an idea for the name for EllisMania 10: Alcohol Tabacco & Firearms. Which sounds legit as all fuck. Tully and Katie did their Onnit challenges and the people on the floor below the studio have to absolutely love it, because their jobs probably suck ass. Ellis got called out about not doing his 40 donut challenge and after have 2 hamburgers from dayum Five Guys Burgers & Fries, the intern was sent out to get 41 donuts. 40 for Ellis and 1 for Dingo. After clearing 9 donuts, Ellis was in panic mode to complete 10 before the show ended and went for it. Then he proceeded to puke it all back up during final calls, it is unclear what made him barf, final calls or a finger down his throat. And with that. I’m calling this bitch done. No fucking jokes, no tada, no nothing. Sorry if you’re disappointed. I did the best I could do. There’s only so many hours in a day and currently, my life is busier than whore with a one armed man in a fucking contest on dollar day with a mule. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, fuck it. But also, fuck. You don’t know me. You don’t know my pain. Of time. #Barf
The “Too Long; Didn’t Read” version for you
lazy I mean people who are too busy or have attended Derek Zoolander’s Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too:
- First, fuck you. I took amazingly pain-staking efforts to relay to you what exactly was said without putting in any type of opinion what-so-ever. That’s fucking hard to do. I had to listen closer than most of you do and type even closer. Don’t believe me? You try it sometime.
- Second. Holy shit. The drama parts? I paid extra close attention to because I wasn’t there, I don’t know what happened, I’m no judge, I’m no jury, and therefore I’m not able to offer any kind of opinion on. So eat shit if you think I did a bad job.
- Most people who were at EllisMania 9 are still feeling the effects.
- Overall, EllisMania 9 was a huge success and an even bigger hit.
- The fans, for the most part were awesome and helped make it a great time.
- Wilson wants an EllisFam lanyard.
- Everyone thought the Death! Death! Die! concert was kick ass.
- The entire band made mistakes, but it was fine, and the fans that got to sing did a great job.
- Josh and Ellis are temporarily not friends at the moment.
- Someone might have potentially / allegedly gotten drugged, or maybe they were just drunk.
- Gabe Ruediger might have allegedly punched a fan, for no reason or maybe for a reason. It’s a “he said, she said” situation.
- Wilson had a date or two and allegedly wanted to get blown or blow someone.
- @cogdeth won his fight and was the peoples’ champ.
- Ellis kept calling @cogdeth by my name, @bitPimps, and it was hilarious. Especially since Ellis also thinks / thought my name is / was Tim. (running joke now)
- Kit Cope accidentally knocked out his team mate, Mike Jasper, and it was funny.
- Kenji Gallo kicked @J_Chapel in the dick pretty hard and it was funny too.
- Nick Swardson came out to the sweetest music and won his fight against Rawdog.
- Rawdog did the best he’s ever done and was coined “The Golden Camel Toe” because of his costume.
- Katie made out with some chicks.
- Ellis’ hotel room was covered in cigarette smoke and cocaine and he and Dingo have a pretty good idea who was “riding the rails” (because bumps don’t really count)
- Tully and Katie resumed their Onnit challenge.
- People reminded Ellis he didn’t do the 40 donut challenge after Saturday, so on top of eating 2 fucking burgers from Five Guys, he ate donuts until final calls and then barfed all that shit up.
- I hate you all for keeping me up so late writing all this fucking shit that nobody is reading.
- But I also fucking love you all for reading this fucking shit that at least a few of you are reading.
- I think I need to poop, or maybe my stomach just hurts because I’m working 3 hours of sleep and cigarettes.
- How do I make bullet points end? Oh yeah. I remember now.
Before I jump in to the actual re-cap for all of you currently heading to or in Las Vegas for Ellismania 9, I wanted to take a seond and thank all of my absolutely amazing Ellisfam and the guys here at NYA for reaching out to me over this past week and offering support for the tough shit that is going on in my life. I have never known such a wonderful goup of people before and I’m so grateful for all the love being sent my way.
NOW…business as usual…
Happy Australian Birthday to the main man who is the reason that I’m writing this and that you’re reading this…Jason Ellis. The King of the West is either officially or unofficially 42 years old and unsure about how he feels about it because 42 is old. Old enough that all the people walking around the good ol’ US of A who are currently old enough to drink weren’t alive when Ellis was first legally allowed to drink in this country but not so old that he’s hit the point of no return life drop off age (which is 46, according to Tully). Ellisfeels a little bit proud of himself for all that he has accomplished at this point in life, but thinks he probably should feel more proud of himself (and he should) and wants everyone to know that he is looking forward to accomplishments that won’t result in further brain damage like race car driving, skating with his kids, and camping. He has not yet begun to talk about things like insurance or politics, but is taking to heart comments from Devin like, “why are you still doing this?” in regard to him fighting. No, he doesn’t have to pull out of the fight this Saturday at Ellismania 9, but if he gets a black eye in the fight then Devin is gonna sock him one and make his other eye black with her daddy-inherited heacy hands. Good thing she is too young to know about detached retinas.
Tim Sabean called Ellis this morning just to see how things were going and ask if fhe needed anything because Ellis is the King of the West and the show is finally getting some of the SiriusXM TLC that it deserves. Yes, there are still glitches here and there because it’s a new studio and lay the fuck off, but things are getting done. Wilson introduced the ever talked about and never before seen to exist VIP lines for TJES and texted the number to all the VIPs out there…except Butterballs. Ellis mentioned a fight on twitter with the one replay hater who finds listening to morning replays so obnoxious that he feels the need to tweet about it and how he’s fighting a losing battle because Faction is going to be Ellis’s channel one day. Really?!?! Fucking sweet.
Throughout the show we’re getting running commentary on some spanish Soap Operas the guys have playing in the studio which seem to feature a maniac Mexican man who looks like he works at Bruce Lee Burgers and is beating and killing members of his family with blood on his face, wearing the same shirt for days and not giving enough fucks to wipe his nose blood away. Tully says he noticed that everyone in the new building is falling into the TV trap and that it’s the main difference between listening to East Coast versus West Coast SiriusXM. Opie and Anthony never comment on what’s going on on TV, but they’ve been spoiled for so long that the novelty has worn off at this point. Don’t complain about their sudden exclamations over what’s happening just out of our sight…they’re fucking hilarious and if your driving or if your mind has wandered for a second hearing Ellis, Tully, or Rawdog yell, “OH MY GOD!!!!!!!” is the perfect way to snap you back into focus. There’s also another new TV on the wall which beams videos from Tully’s computer to the screen for them all to see easier, but after plugging it into Josh’s computer and re-plugging it into Tully’s it has stopped working. Way to go Josh. But anyway…
There were some fights on last night with the main even being Jake Shields, which is a drag, because despite technically being a good fighter he is a very boring fighter and there are no winners when your main event is a boring fight. You know what fights won’t be boring? The fights happening this weekend at Ellismania 9 that if you (like me) aren’t able to trek out to Vegas you can catch at Ellismania.com. Erika has to drop out of the girl fight because she has a lung infection, but don’t worry, plenty of female listeners answered the call to volunteer themselves as a fill in!!!!! Lots of chicks are ready to get down and dirty at Ellismania and have the oppurtunity to try and beat the shit out of another girl. Is this going to be the last fight every for Ellis? No, probably not, but he is saying that he doesn’t really want to be the main event anymore. Why? Because he isn’t looking to be on the road to pain and go around killing himself training to the point where he forgets that Ellismania is supposed to be fun anymore. He still wants to be in fights, but he wants to be in fun fights fighting leprechauns for a pot o’ gold pinata stuffed with goodies or whatever other fun fight pops into his head. Ellis is in it for the fans. He kept this going alone and kept thinking that if he kept it up long enough that someone bigger would come along and want to be involved, and SiriusXM is finally interested. Determination gets you everywhere!!!
Hey, you know your super cool collection of random bits of audio and rarely heard songs and tidbits from bands/actors/movies that you spent so much time and effort gathering? Well, the joke is on you because it’s all on the internet now!!!! ROFL. But seriously, back in the day it took work to be a fan and you spent time and effort getting your hands on everything and anything that had to do with whatever you were interested in. Now it is all constantly in your pocket or palm courtesy of the free WiFi hotspot you’ve found with your smartphone. Like the video Tully found of Sly Stallone and Carl Weathers choreographring fight scenes for Rocky. Ellis thinks that they should make a tv show for Mexico because they’re TV standards are ridiculous and it would be no problem to come up with an idea. Rawdog brings up a new show being talked about (if only by him) called Celebrity Champion where celebs compete in gymnastics and have Mary Lou Rhetton judge them. It will be a safer show than Splash (where someone thought it would be a good idea to get celebs to high dive with no experience) so viewers can look forward to not seeing someone almost die on the show every week. The lady who is the voice behind Siri has been found, although Apple will neither confirm nor deny it, and Ellis loves Siri because she helps him spell out texts to tell Grant Cobb that he is impressed with the couch that he built for the studio.
Back to fights, out of all of the fights going on at Ellismania this weekend (which I really really really am bummed to not be there you lucky fucks who are!!!!) Ellis is the most concerned about the fight between Sam Ruben and Tera Patrick, mostly because neither one of them wants to be punched in D face and chances are one of them will be, if not both. Sam can try and joke about it as much as he wants, but everyone knows he really can’t roll into work on Monday sporting a black eye becasue KTLA is no joke and have harder asses than the FCC. Although, Tully does point out that morning news programs tend to be more fun and light-hearted and can roll with the punches, so why not roll with the punches that landed on Sam’s face and caused his black eye? After all, there was a newscaster in North Carolina who mistook cat vomit on the bottom of his shoe for grapenuts and ate it. Live. On television. And informed everyone after the fact that it was cat vomit and not grapenuts. As if it being grapenuts excused the action of eating food off of the bottom of his shoe in the first place. Holy fucking shit. What a scofflaw that guy is, huh?
Wait. What? Scofflaw? Where the hell did that come from Rawdog? I have a pretty spectacular vernacular and I had to google that shit to have google yell at me and call me a dumb bitch for not knowing how to spell it. That is some serious prohibition era bullshit to drop like it’s the word ‘jerk’ and expect everyone to know what you’re talking about so dont be surprised you’re getting called out on it and being called a show-off for your off-brand, hipster-know-it-all foul word play, because everyone knows the word plethora because every human being alive has seen the Three Amigos. Ellis knows plethora because he’s better at remembering shit when he’s punched in the face afterward. And for all the other know-it-alls out there who wanna correct facts and be all ‘LOL Oxford-boy, how’d you get that one wrong’ it’s because useless shit falls out of your brain if you don’t have a photographic memory and haven’t been in the halls of learning for more than a decade. By the way, Rawdog, how are you feeling about your fight against Nick Swardson in two days? Apparently Rawdog is feeling the same way about it as he has every other fight and would prefer not to get into even the most vague of specifics concerning strategy or training because it’s gonna be a surprise (both to him and everyone there). But Ellis tells him he better make it good for the fans, because people are pulling crazy stunts to be there and if Ozzy is 60 and jumping around stage for fans at concerts then Josh can put on a good fight.
Yes, more Ellismania stuff because it starts tomorrow and of course they are going to talk about it endlessly today! People are calling in from all over the country and Canada to say they are on their way and they are pumped and who can blame the guys for talking about it?!?!?!?! Aaron from Wyoming will have driven 16 hours by the time of the show tomorrow and is only staying to see TJES at the Hard Rock Hotel poolside because he has to get back home. Tully is going to buy him lunch as an insurance policy against the show sucking, which seems impossible as there will be plenty going on with the Little Miss Jason Ellis pageant and the commencement of butt judging. Wilson says he bets that no one can bribe him over the next few days in order to be judged the best butt…so do your worst!!!!!! Lots of stuff is going to be available for purchase at Ellismania, but also a ton of stuff is going to be given out so keep your twitter alerts active for updates from Ellis and Tully for when they decide to give shit away. Known oppurtunities for freebies thus far are at the DDD! show where Ellis and Tera Patrick will be throwing goodies off stage and Wilson will have cum ra-errrrr…bar towels.
Fartathon 2013 is here! Next week, Tully promises us that there will be a sort of new segment where Unsigned Bands will be facing off against Unsigned Farts!!! The bad news????? No one is sending farts to Ellisparodies@gmail.com !!! What the hell, guys? Just like everybody poops, everybody farts (but they don’t want the poop farts so abstain from sending those) so where have all the flatulent fellas gone? Is Ellis to blame for telling guys that it’s disgusting to fart on or in front of their girls? I am a girl and I will tell you, it’s really okay to fart in front of your lady. Not on her, because then you fully deserve to be kicked in the teeth, but as a girl myself I have come to learn that guys fart. They love to fart. It’s the most natural form of comedy there is! Hubbs farts, I call him Stinky Butt and we move on with life. I for one will have my phone at the ready for his farts so I can do my Ellisfam duty and make sure there’s enough audio for the segment. And they aren’t going to stop talking about farts until they get them, which is why during the Fartathon we learn that termites are the organism on Earth that fart the most and can even turn themselves into self-destructing suicide fart bombers (because who doesn’t want that superpower in a bind), vegetarians fart more than us carnivors, the average person passes gas 14 times a day (so really get over it), and rice is the only food known to man which doesn’t cause your anus to vibrate and spew methane gas.
During the premiere of 12 Years a Slave, the current frontrunner for the next Best Picture, there was some dumb bitch in lace gloves texting throughout the entire movie. Even after another moviegoer requested she cease and desist this woman informed the “enslaver” that her texting was for business and he should self-righteously fuck off. That last part may have been ad-libbed but it fits within the context. Who was this bitch? Madonna. For real. Sources are reliable on this one and Madonna has forever lost her shot so far as Ellis is concerned and whether she knows it or not. No, there shouldn’t be texting during movies because the movies exist to untether you from life for a while and immerse you in another reality and the whole effect is ruined if you won’t let yourself be untethered! Duh!
Wrapping up the show is the Onnit Look Good Naked Challenge featuring Tully lining them up and Katie knocking them down. They are up to doing 4 reps of each exercise and Tully performs them with great form sans microphone before we are treated to Katie’s heavy breathing sextacular workout. Katie has always been hot. Hearing her moan as she exercises is mind blowing. And in case you were wondering, her face looks exactly the same as it does sometimes, according to Ellis. And we all know what he’s talking about.
Now…OFF TO ELLISMANIA 9!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things we learned on the show today (some of which you may have heard from That Guy Dan already)
If your boss punches you it’s perfectly alright for you to blast him back
Ellis is hard on Vanessa because he wants her to be successful
Your ass doesn’t throbwith pain from being licked- but it might from being kicked
Tully left Ellis because he was still young and free enough to try new things and didn’t want to be the producer
10 years from now Ellis might be sporting either an eye patch or a golden eyeball
When Tully’s wife is away his life is all about Doritos and Parliments
Oregen is like Washington State with a stick up its ass
Tully has never been able to touch his toes
Ligaments, Tendons, and Muscles are not the same things
Tully doesn’t like hearing his farts
Ellis likes hearing his own farts
Flap the lip, get the whip
Your girlfriend might be stupid if she doesn’t turn her phone off at the movies
Great movies are today’s collective religious experience
Katie has bursts of cunt
Ellis won’t celebrate his divorce by getting married later that day
Not every butt gets a sticker, but every butt will be judged.
HAVE FUN at Ellismania 9 to all who are going!!!! Be ridiculous! Safe travels! Take lots of pictures and make all of us who can’t be there insanely jealous and guarantee that we’ll be there next year!!!!!!
Today’s show was a highly anticipated one by all listeners as yesterday we were left with a ‘Best Of’ and a vague tweet from Jason which was interpreted by many as gloom and doom-y as possible. My twitter feed exploded with people vowing to drop their Sirius subscription, rallying for a fight, and pledging their allegiance to Ellisfam- and the always wonderful BitPimps helped calm many (or at least me, and I sort of count in the lesser grand scheme of things) with a post telling everyone to keep calm and harden the fuck up. Or something like that. But seriously, I spent the afternoon yesterday rationalising to myself all of the reasons that he couldn’t have been spontaneously fired and dreaming that he finally landed a television show after someone saw him on KTLA and saying, “He’s fucking amazing! Why doesn’t he have his own TV show?!?!?!?!?”
Getting right into it, skipping the intro music and ditching the robot voice, Ellis knew the listeners were waiting to know what the fuck happened yesterday and didn’t make anyone wait longer than necessary. In a nutshell: Will called Ellis yesterday as Ellis was driving in to the studio to tell him that someone at SiriusXM told him that some of there area was being hijacked (office space and the green room) to be turned into offices for someone else’s sales department and his studio was no longer going to be his studio, he was going to be sharing it with whomever else they decided to throw in there. Ellis said, “I didn’t agree to that” while thinking ‘I’m the fucking King of the West and last time we talked we all agreed that I deserve everything I’m asking for’ and decided to forgo doing the show because he’s a man who stands his ground. The ending is that the Big Bosses at SiriusXM worked everything out and said it was all a big mistake, and if that’s good enough for Ellis then that should be good enough for everyone. He is trying to do what is best for the show, get a producer, get the people working with him the money they deserve, and continue to do bigger and better things. The whole ordeal left him stressed out, talking about moving in with Katie, selling his car, and becoming a male prostitute, but once it was worked out it left him more driven then ever. Which is great. There’s nothing wrong with taking a stand.
Yesterday morning Ellis was on KTLA, which to my understanding is a morning talk show over in California, and he was awesome. He had a great time doing it, and thought it was hilarious that the teeny tiny female anchor was so pathetically weak that when she punched him she almost fell over. You should watch the clip, if you haven’t already, because Ellis is entertaining as hell and I realllllllllly find it hardd to believe that no one has given him his own TV show yet. Seriously, I don’t watch TV because there is nothing on it that is worth watching anyway, but I would tune in to watch tiny chicks punching a big tattooed Aussie in the face any day of the week. If you wouldn’t do the same…you suck and you’re lying to yourself. KTLA also served as a great place to plug Ellismania 9 as Sam Ruben is an anchor on KTLA, so they could talk about his upcoming fight with Tera Patrick.
Speaking of fighting…but wait no…because the TV has been installed in the studio!!!!! They spend a good few minutes commentating to random television and commercials (at some point one of them mentions that they are watching The Chew) while Wilson is begging them in the background to stop watching the tv and talking about it because the listeners can’t see what they are talking about and it was his worst fear coming to life. The Jason Ellis Show briefly turned into a bunch of guys on the radio reacting to things that they were seeing on tv and…still managing to be entertaining. Poor Wilson.
Speaking of fighting, but this time really, guess who sent Ellis a skateboard in the mail which featured Bruce Lee? You aren’t going to guess. It wasn’t Tony Hawk, or Nicole Richie, or Tatiana Ali…it was Dana White. A guy that Ellis is friends with that he can’t believe he is friends with. General consensus is that the Bruce Lee skateboard will be mounted on the wall in the studio, because that’s cool as shit. And…speaking of Dana White, the Ultimate Fighter was on last night. Ellis watched it and the guy with the earrings got beat up. That is all. This led to Ellis talking about his sparring partner last night, who was a fat mexican guy wearing a shirt that had a fat joke on it, because sometimes it’s just awesome to laugh at yourself. He didn’t look like the kind of guy who could do three three minute rounds, but he did and Ellis had a good time. Ellis talks about how awesome it is for people to go to the ‘real’ gym (read- boxing gym) to get in shape as opposed to mindlessly slapping their feet to the beat of ‘duh’ on the treadmill, because not only are they getting in shape and losing weight, but they are learning skills and staying engaged and interested. Rawdog thinks that you can get the same workout and health benefits from running on a treadmill and says that some people find it medatative. He also apparently thinks that he could run on a treadmill blindfolded. And he was wrong. Until he changed his mind and became right. Tully ran for a little while, not on a treadmill, and says he always felt like he was skiing or flying and it was a cool feeling, but he didn’t stick with it.
There were shots fired at the Capitol in Washington DC. Why is food on television so goddamn entertaining when it leaves you so unfulfilled? Look at them feeding all of the health food to the fat guy? Why are they zooming in and slow-mo-ing the old guy dancing? These are all questions you hear when you put a tv in a room of guys doing radio. TJES was a little bit ADD for a while. But seriously, what IS up with food tv? Ellis, Rawdog, and Tully all seem a little flumoxed over it as there is no satisfaction to be garnered from watching people cook and eat food on tv. So why do people do it? Why do women do it? Because it’s filler tv that you can just put on and space out to, clean the house, do the laundry, and you’re not really missing anything. Just like with soap operas. Take Ellis’s advice and just watch Spongebob, because the Bob always delivers. Tully brings up the point of porn (not food porn) because at least with porn, if you’re masturbating to it, you are getting some satisfaction. There is no food equivalent to this. If you are watching food tv, most likely the only thing that you are getting is hungry, and probably curious about what the fuck the EVOO shit is that Rachel Ray keeps talking about. It’s extra virgin olive oil.
The Hurricane was a boxer, not a natural disaster, who was falsely accused of murder and convicted of it back in the 60’s at the height of his boxing career. Which really sucks. What sucks even more was that he spent 20 years in jail and Bob Dylan wrote a song about him before some teenager finally managed to help get him a retrial and get him the fuck out of jail. Denzel Washington played him in the movie about this whole incident, and I’m wondering if they fit in the part where after he got out of prison he defected from America to our cousins in the North and moved to Toronto where he continued to be falsely accused of crime. At least the cops in Toronto realized their mistake in less than 20 years and released him- presumably with a “My bad, eh?” and a hearty Canadian handshake. Ellis thinks that Canada is a good place for black people because the people there are less racist. Tully thinks that the Hurricane is looking a little crazy these days…but that’s probably something that happens when the White Man steals 20 years of your life. Sorry, Hurricane.
If your wondering why you’re still paying taxes during the shutdown of the federal government, wonder no more, as the FBI shut down silkroad.com- a website which was the online black market and dealt with goods on the wrong side of savory like heroin, cocaine, stolen credit cards, and child porn. Go feebs!! But, no, Tully still found that there are plenty places online to continue buying heroin. So, basically your taxes are paying for the Congressional salaries that don’t get affected by furlough. Fuck. Shit. Maybe that’s what the shooting at the Capitol was about.
Tully and Katie are undertaking Onnit’s ‘Look Good Naked’ challenge and today was Challenge Day One! Tully is going to look great in a speedo for his vacation when the challenge is over and Katie…is hot already, but there’s nothing wrong with getting in shape and we get to listed to her huff, puff, squeak, and moan. For The Win. The Onnit Look Good Naked Challenge is for everyone who wants to look better naked (who doesn’t) and it’s done three days a week for three weeks, with each week adding on more cycles of the exercises…or reps..or whatever you call them (because I’m that dumb gym bunny who is not down with the lingo) and the exercises they did were rope slams, alternating plial lunges, rope alternating uppercuts, push-up free burpees, and ab boat rowing. We got to hear what Tully and Katie sound like in the sack (Katie sounds better) and both of them did a really good job. Josh should be doing the challenge so that he could be ready for the fight at Ellismania 9 he’s participating in in a week and a half, but he isn’t, because what’s the point when everyone is rooting for him to lose anyway? Whaaaaaaaaaaa. No, Josh, Tully and Ellis are on your side and really want you to win, they just know that you don’t take fitness seriously and you talk funny and you admittedly could be working a lot harder to get ready for the fight. Fuck the fight, anyway! You should be doing the challenge in preperation for the FuckFest taking place afterward (which you WILL need an Ellismania ticket to participate in, if interested) because that’s gonna take hella lotta cardio stamina to get through. Ellisfam doesn’t fuck around. At FuckFests. Or maybe, yeah?
Go get your Ellismania 9 tickets!!!! Time is running out!!!! You don’t want to miss it like me, do you?!?!?!?!?! Of course you don’t!!! Tickets are at Ticketmaster.com and I can tell you to go get them and go to Vegas because I don’t work for The Jason Ellis Show or SiriusXM. I don’t care if it’s your prerogative or not…go buy them and have a good time and meet the awesome fuckers from this site and party. You will have the oppurtunity to see Ellis fight Gabe Ruediger, Rawdog fight Nick Swardson, watch the prisoner fight, girl fight, leprechaun fight, musical chair fight, and more!!!!!!
There was a gathering in NYC of a crotch rocket club called the Hollywood Stuntz Race which resulted in some Ninja Knack Knack Champion of the World biker assholes chasing down a guy in a Range Rover where one of the bikers proceeded to break the driver’s side window with his helmet to pull the driver from the car and beat the ever loving shit out of him in front of his wife and toddler. Hmmmm…yes it’s true that the Range Rover put one of the biker’s in the hospital with some really bad injuries, but the biker in question was blocking in the RR and the driver was trying to get away. Bikers have a bad enough rep for no reason without bikers on crotch rockets giving them a reason. Seems like this involved a bunch of biker guys who were looking for a fight. In other bike news, apparently there are gangs of hipster bicyclists across the nation who are biking for their right to disobey traffic laws and ride drunk with police escorts so they don’t get hit while running red lights. Are you fucking kidding me? I agree with Tully, these people are fucktards who are angry with the world and are tying their anger to a pointless cause and wrecking it for themselves because they are assholes.
Wilson leads the guys in a game of Google Auto Complete Says What? with the theme of prejudices. We learn that the English speaking users of google are wondering about stinky french people, chinese cat food (made from cats), Jews refusing to shop at Hitler or leave Iran (NOT the Holy Land), Italians who don’t wear shorts, Koreans without souls, Japanese people who don’t say ‘I love you’, Indians who can’t say no or swim, Russians who don’t die, Aussie’s who all don’t like peanut butter (because they have the superior vegimite), and women who believe in wedge loafers. Will takes offense to google auto complete shining a light on the fact that people are asking google why white people have no lips, because he has kissable bee-stung lips that fix computer moniters with a single kiss.
During final calls (where none of the final calls were of show-ending standard) the conversation turned to Mia Farrow hinting at Frank Sinatra being her baby daddy instead of Woody Allen, Justin Bieber being carried on the shoulders of two black men on the Great Wall of China, and Miley Cyrus. Why they hell is there such an outrage about everything Miley does? Tully and Ellis bring up the point that there is nothing she is doing now that the other Disney Darlings weren’t doing ten years ago and that Madonna wasn’t doing 100 years ago (or however old she is). Rawdog thinks Sinead O’Connor has some good points in her open letter to Miley, which Miley dissed on twitter because she’s Miley and she’ll lick all of the hammers she wants while swinging naked on wrecking balls because that shit sells. Ellis is right, she knows what she’s doing and she knows what is going to keep people talking about her. The reason people freak out more about Miley? Because she was Hannah Montana and a billion 5 year olds want to do everything she does…she didn’t start out in a sexy school girl outfit or belly dancing her way out of a genie bottle, she started out wanting the Best of Both Worlds and doing the Hoedown Throwdown, so parents the world over don’t want their children witnessing what happens when someone grows up because they don’t want to be involved enough in their children’s lives to teach them right from wrong themselves.
If you have never seen the Boondock Saints, or if you haven’t seen it in a long time, go watch it on Netflix so you can know what everyone is talking about on the show on Monday. Rawdog and Tully have never seen the movie and have committed to watching it over the weekend and discussing it with Ellis on Monday’s show. Also, if you are a man or a woman who thinks they can beat out the current reigning Little Miss Jason Ellis, or if you are an unsigned band or an unsigned fart, show the guys what you have and send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Tomorrow, Ellis will be giving away tickets to Ellismania, so if you are going to Vegas and haven’t gotten your tickets, listen to the show tomorrow and score some freebies!!!!
Things we learned:
Mario Batali kept his restaurant open on 9/11 to fight terrorism
Tiggie threw Daddy under the bus at school for having a black eye
Ellis is driving to Ellismania and doesn’t need a plane ticket
If Ellis makes it to 80 he may just have 5 wives
Ellis’s grandfather was a tranny late in life and was damn happy because of it
ALL MEN HAVE PUSSIES…in their prostate
Katie likes Hanna Montana but hates that Miley stole her haircut
Terry Crewes is bumping asses with Dr. Oz (who looks like a zombie)
Hipster messenger bag bicyclists are fucking assholes
Stunt Riding on motorcycles is not a real sport
Ellis will kill american ninjas
Katy Perry is a better singer than Miley Cyrus
Ellis would give up everything he has to have his brother back