Hi everybody! It was great seeing you all in Vegas, what a blast we had together! I met so many new faces, we shared laughter, stories, food, and good times. We’ve got a lot to cover today, so let’s just dive right into it, shall we? So today’s show was pre-taped, yesterday, about the events from the day before, but aired on Faction today. Let’s try and do this. It’s really not that hard. We already covered Friday’s live show, but we didn’t get to talk about HATEBEAN’s first and last performance that night, nor the Tiger Box concert later that same night, after HATEBEAN! Only HATEBEAN was live on OfficialJasonEllis.com, Tiger Box however, was not – though I believe it was filmed and will eventually be on the site as well. See? Simple, right? Continue reading
It’s here, and it’s queer! Wait. No. WE… ARE… LIVE! From Tupelo. Wait. No. From Las Vegas, Vinyl at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. You might have heard about it, EllisMania 10? It’s a thing. The gang is all there, Ellis, Tully, Will, Cumtard, Andrew, Hotdog, Cullen, Dingo, Katie, the Boyce Brothers, Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man, pretty much everyone. Vinyl is at maximum capacity so some people are unable to get in to watch the show. It’s fuckin’ loud and there’s a lot of people staring at Ellis’ head and Dingo is dressed as a kangaroo. Sounds like Hotdog might have brought his own keg of beer to town in Ellis’ truck. Tully’s side bitch, Bunny, might be getting a beat down by Katie for not showing Tully her tits. Thomas Hayden Church and Betsy donated $10,000 each to go to Everlast’s cystic fibrosis charity. Everlast thanked Ellis by calling him a nigger. Continue reading
I see you accidentally stumbled upon the Friday recap again, welcome. Today’s show started on a rather sad note, Jay Adams died last night in Mexico from a heart attack. We morn the loss of one of skateboarding’s godfathers. On a brighter note, Ellis fought Keith Jardine, got gassed, got knocked down, and hacked up a couple lung cookies but he had an awesome time. Speaking of some awesome fighting skills, here’s Beiber hittin pads. I’m sure this is just a warm up. Either that or it’s his “time” and doesn’t think his Tampax can hold back the mighty flow erupting from his vagina. As mentioned yesterday Ellis got called out for the Ice Water Bucket Challenge so he decided to have Keith “Hollywood Hitter” Jardine punch him then have the shit poured on him but Keith faked the first punch and Ellis called for a redo and then it was all good. Ellis called out AJ, Rob Corddry, and someone else who isn’t dingo. I can’t remember but here’s the video so you can figure it out for yourself. Ellis mentioned some dude who mentioned another dude that has hit a woman before and Ellis isn’t cool with dudes that hit women. Neither is NYA so if any of you other dudes that read this think it’s okay to slap your bitch up once in a while or show her whose boss or put that bitch back in her place with a shoe across the grill is mistaken. But if she stabs you with a knife I say go for it, otherwise just enjoy your sammich.
No matter how healthy or unhealthy your diet is, it’s mostly wood. Yummy. Christian came in studio with samples of terrible hip hop from celebrities who should never do hip hop. They were all terrible so if you want heres the list and you can go find them your self on the interwebz. I’m A Celebrity by Spencer Pratt, I Love You by Tila Tequila, Poppa Zow by K Fed, The Situation by The Situation, You Send Me by Brian Austin Green, Rappin Rodney by Rodney Dangerfield, City Of Crimes by Tom Hanks and Dan Akroyd, Freak Of The Week by Ron Jeremy?, Wise Guy by Joe Pesci, ? by LeBron James, Kobe by Kobe Bryant, I Know I Got Skills by Shaquille O’Neil, Right Now by John Sena, Beach Patrol by The Hulk and Hulkamania, and ??? by Floyd Mayweather.
Randy Couture came in studio and I missed the first bit and came in when Randy was talkin about some lady getting up in his face about something. I soon figured out that he was talking about Gym Rescue so I’m pretty sure I really didn’t miss much. Not only is Randy on Gym Rescue but he also got to bump knuckles with Stallone and talk fighting while filming the Expendables movies. Then they talked about people Randy punched, people Ellis punched, people that other people have punched. Then they talked about acting, actors, and acts that other actors have done. It was a fantastic interview with the Academy Award winning Oscar nominee, Randy Courture but unfortunately it was far too much to include here so you’ll just have to listen to the interview on the replay like all the rest of the common folk.
A 7 year old boy was bitten by a 5 foot Bull Shark in Lake Pontchartrain in Louisiana. I know you’re saying that the lake is brackish (half salt, half fresh) water so how can a shark be there? Here’s some knowledge that I’m droppin on your ass about sharks. Now that you have educated yourself, it’s time for everyone’s favorite game that can hardly be recapped but is hilarious to listen to, The Google Game! The entries were, Can Justin Bieber…, Can Mel Gibson…, Will Angelina Joli…, Is Danzing…, Has Hulk Hogan…, Was Kobe Bryant…, Is Seven Segal…, Is Dennis Rodman…, Does Tara Reid…, and finally Is Cher…
After the break Keith Jardine from Ice Bucket Challenge fame sat in with Tully and Ellis. They talked about the UFC and the upcoming fights and punching people in de face and getting punched in de face and everything else about punching and getting punched and then the show was over. It was exciting like watching yer mum try to figure out which fat roll the Cheeto fell into before the dog finds it, OH!
WGAFF. Know it, learn it, love it. Mermaids are real cuz a shark ate one but it was probably the last one. Sharks are dicks. But the goverment has it now because people can’t handle the truth. You think I’m full of shit? Well guess what, it’s on the Internet so it’s
fucking true. Suck it. The guys talked about this for quite a while and in the middle of their conversation about making people evolve into mermaids Tim Sabien called in. He didn’t exactly okay the Kevin “Cumtard The Cumtardian” Kraft vs Will “Shins of Death” Pendarvis fight, but the way it sounds Ellismania 10 is going to be fucking awesome to put it mildly. Then they talked about Godzilla and what they would do if it started to come out of the ocean in Cali. You know, important shit.
Keith Jardine came in studio today and he is the guy that makes the Caveman Coffee that Jason has a boner about. They talked about coffe, growing coffee, harvesting coffee, roasting coffee, brewing coffee, cold brewing coffee, coffee in a thermos, coffee with butter, coffee with cream, coffee with coconut oil, coffee makers, coffee presses, coffee machines, places that grow coffee, people that grow coffee, how good coffee is, and all the uses for coffee. Then Keith’s friend came in and they talked about… you got it, COFFEE!
After the hour of coffee talk Christian came in with a bunch of today’s new releases in music. As it turns out the best thing in new music is an album that was released 20 years ago, Pantera’s remastered release of Far Beyond Driven. Then creepy doll guy Skyped in and it was, well, creepy. Other people tried to Skype in for the talent contest but as it turn out most of the fans of The Jason Ellis Show are talentless. Who would have guessed?
Final calls were about as exciting as the Skype talent show so toady I will leave you with a bit of advice, don’t make the same mistake yer mum did, use protection, OH!