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The #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers Game

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Every now and then I have a stroke of genius.  Or it was an actual stroke, I’m not sure but I created a new hastag game: #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers. This is possibly one of the greatest things I have ever thought up on a Thursday night before bed in March.  Here are some of the things people came up with.  Enjoy.

 

@bwstrangler: It was @AZ_RedDragon when @EllisMate stuck that @bitPimps in that lady’s @possiblytully and thanked his @KimDultz

@bitPimps中: ‏ At first I was all like, @OMGZeebrazz, but then I saw it was @RachelAndSarah so I pulled out my @tank_yanker

@tank_yanker: I tried to undo her @OMGZeebrazz to see her @CobraTits and she got all @testyboy !! Tried to @bwstrangler me!

@tank_yanker: That’s correct officer, I hit him with @FonzoBlunt object. The body’s in the trunk of my @chevro1et.

@bitPimps: Call me @Amy_L_Sss because I get all @e3guzman when I’m @NCcrushinonRJ her @babythroat like a @BEZERKAH1_3

@bitPimps: If @MyMathGarcia is correct, I should be to send my @RedJammieGirl to college & that would be @atmbcool

@bwstrangler: Can’t wait 2 get all @DougBenson and go @mayhemmiller on a cheeseburger then just @mike_in_canada on the couch

@bwstrangler: my wife’s @bitPimps are huge, can’t wait 2 pull out my @tank_yanker and @AZ_RedDragon all over them

@JohnnySkidmarks: It took @3_days to find out that most of my followers think that I’m a @sarcasticunt

@Jen_E_Morse: Can I lick your @taternuts?

@Jen_E_Morse: I wanna get @DirtNasty with @EllisMate

@AZ_RedDragon: I’m @cantskateanymre and going to @possiblytully for the night.

@AZ_RedDragon: I’ll show you my @tank_yanker if you show me your @herro_amy

@AZ_RedDragon:  I have a huge @mike_in_canada it hangs way below my @bitPimps and its fucking @bwstrangler

@tank_yanker: I drank too much @WhiskeyGirl923 and went @BEZERKAH1_3 then turned into a @Wolfman812.

@bitPimps: I asked my @RedJammieGirl how she wanted her @herro_amy treated & she said to @donaldschultz it.

@tank_yanker: I’m all out of @_Prozach74 , and @Addicted2Diesel now, and my ass is @AZ_RedDragon now…

@tank_yanker: I’ll @bitPimps slap anybody that touches the ladies, and dump the bodies on the @shit_toboggan

@Jen_E_Morse: I want to suck your @GatorHotdogDog and take it in the @dannykass

@tank_yanker: I took my ex to the river in my @chevro1et and @bwstrangler‘d her there

@KimDultz: I wanna get @AZ_RedDragon wasted!

‏ @KimDultz: I wanna @Fngr_Xpressions @_daniBum_ all night long till I get @sleepyjoe_RDS and pass out in the @oilfieldtrash84

@KimDultz: I held my @gungirlRDS up to your @Meaty_OZ @stapleneck and it went @boomer1600 then you were @cogdeth

‏ @bitPimps: I told @KimDultz I was @mike_in_canada just so I could @nickyknac her @VZ4SHEEZY but she said to @Saveit4thewar

 

These are a few of the posts that I could find, there are some really brilliant people out there.  If you have any ideas for Hastag Games send @bitPimps or @Az_Reddragon a message and we’ll put up some of the results.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 3/14/2012

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Happy Steak and BJ Day! The guy that thought this up is either a genius (doubt it) or have some really high expectations (and lives with his mom).  Ellis changed the date for Ellismania 8, again.  Raise your hand if your surprised by this, no, no one. Ok lets continue then. He said that there is a chance that it can get on some HDNet TV thing so that everyone can see it, even the Canadians, who apparently need the HD due to their beady eyes. Oh, Lindsay Lohan hit some dude, tried to change seats, was fucked up, bla bla bla, who the fuck cares anyway.  Moving on.

Ellis talked to Kit Cope @KitCope and it sounds like Kit is going to fight some of the Ellis Fam in a flag football leg kick type of thing, I’m not too sure, I was looking at, umm, photography.  Blame my ADD.  But on the bright side Cogdeth @Cogdeth is probably going to be getting a new set of crutches. Congratulations to you.  While on the subject of EM8, Big B @OGEverlast will be playing and there’s still plans for a bikini contest.  If any girls would like me to help in any way please contact me.

After much of this nonsense and shenanigans shit got deep.  Ellis tried to offer Josh his Audi to help him financially but Josh refused saying that he doesn’t feel right taking the car from Ellis. Josh is starting to run out of money and he is beginning to get worried that the higher-ups at Sirius aren’t going to offer him a job, but Tully thinks otherwise.  Lets all hope Tully is right.  I think the show would suffer great loss if Josh left.

And on today’s Worlds Greatest Wednesday top 10:

1.Nothing

2.Nothing

3.Nothing

Fuck this you get the idea.

Then finally the guys talked about vacation, take it sooner or later, either way it doesn’t matter we will be treated with The Best Of Ellis, face it, even hearing the same bit for the 20th time is still funny, kinda, sometimes, ok maybe not.  But vacation is vacation, much like the million of tourists that vacation through you mums massive cavernous vagina! OH!

 

Jason, I Have A Question

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Many people come up to me and say, “Jason, you seem like a man who knows how to please a lady, can you share some of your secrets with us?”  Of course I can!  In fact I will help shed some light on one of the most overlooked sexual practices today, hand stimulation, also knows as fingering, finger banging, throwin’ some digits, flickin’ the bean, patting the little man in the boat on the head, checking her temperature, etc.

First, make sure that your hands are well manicured.  Women like a man with “workin’ hands” but they don’t like it in their most sensitive of areas.  Remember guys, manicures are gay, but manicures so you can fingerbang your girl are less gay, and whatever you do, avoid hand sanitizer. Trust me, I learned that one the hard way.

Now that your hands are up to par the next thing to do is to find a nice, private area to bring your lady to her carnal throws of ecstasy.  Some places that I have found to be mood enticing are the bedroom, in the shower, front seat of your truck, under the bleachers, at the movies, or in the very back of church.  Wherever you choose the most important thing is that shes comfortable.  And now on to the handy work.

First, slowly massage the outer part of her vagina, and then ever so gently start rubbing the clitoris.  When you start to notice her vagina becoming “wet” proceed to insert a single finger.  Remember to watch her body language, if she seems uncomfortable just go back to the previos step. If she is enjoying it then feel free to continue, remember, this is all about her.

After inserting the first finger into her vagina, continue adding fingers one at a time, until your entire fist is inside her.  I know this sounds unusual, but remember, you asked me.  After inserting your fist slowly slide your arm inside until you get to your shoulder where you will limbo your head in.  This may feel awkward and uncomfortable for you but trust me, she loves it.  After you get your head in then you will need to wiggle your other arm, shoulder, torso, and finally your legs inside.

At this point your entire body should be resting gently inside her vagina.  From this point you will have entire control of her body, much like a puppeteer has with a marionette.  Now have her take her own hand and rest it gently on her vagina so that she may manipulate herself the way she actually likes.  Once she reaches orgasm and is fully satisfied you exit her body by giving birth to yourself, head first, then shoulders and so on.

I hope this lesson helps you and your romantic affairs, and remember, sex can be a beautiful experience.

*Some or all of this writing may or may not be plagiarized, allegedly.

And one more thing, I was taught this technique by your mom.

Why I’m here.

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There are many reasons that people started and are currently listening to the Jason Ellis Show (JES), inspiration, instruction, a little laugh on the drive home, or simply its the best thing on at the time.  Whatever your reason may be, your listening.

I finally switched to Sirius radio about 2 years after Howard Stern moved from terrestrial.  At the time I only knew of his show, and the blatant comedy and music channels.  But soon I got tired of the replays of the replays of the replays and started to explore this world.  I found The Bubba The Love Sponge Show and I found it quite entertaining at times.  Other times I was back to channel surfing until I found this odd sounding guy talking about MMA.  This caught my attention, for a little while.

I was bouncing back and forth between the two and eventually found myself understanding the JES more and more.  Understanding the characters, the mindsets, and the general feel of the show. I liked it.  Pretty soon I didn’t listen to the BTLS anymore, I was hooked. This JES was entertaining, informative (in terms of moto and MMA etc), and it was uplifting.  I understand that many people are in need of some guidance, whether its family issues, drug abuse, or confidence issues.  I have applied some “teachings” from the show to my everyday life, and I have also used them to help others.  I socialize with people on Twitter that I have never met.  These people have become my friends without a hand shake, a hello, or an evening drinking beers together.

This radio show has brought all these people to a common meeting place where we can socialize, joke, inspire, and help one another.  Without the JES I don’t think that I would have this in my life, these people, this chance. For that I am grateful.  This is why I am here.

Jason VanKilsdonk – @AZ_RedDragon

And the drinking of donkey semen on Fear Factor was your moms idea.