If You Could Ask My Wife One Question, What Would It Be?

For better or worse, I asked all you weirdos a simple question: “If you could ask my wife one question, what would it be?” I let her choose which questions she wanted to answer and I didn’t alter any of her responses. So, let’s see what you had to ask and what she had to say about it.

@_Buggs: What pickup line did he use to get your pants off?

@bitchPimps: There was no pick up line needed. After we watched Smokey and the Bandit in a cheesy run down hotel room, I was nothing but wet.

That’s true as shit, it was pretty fuckin’ awesome.

@AZ_RedDragon: What made you fall for Bit? #WasItHisColorfulHair

@bitchPimps: The same thing that makes all you chumps fall for him, his gentle and sensitive demeanor.

I cried once, motherfuckers! ONCE! I think I was like 0 years old.

@AZ_RedDragon: If you could change 10 things about him, what would they be?

@bitchPimps: ONLY 10?

Hardy fuckin’ har. That was a fake laugh by the way.

@AZ_RedDragon: Do you prefer thongs, G strings, boy shorts? #MothersDayIsComingUp

@bitchPimps: Honestly, bit looks best in a Speedo.

That can’t be true. My nuts would be hanging overboard, port and starboard side.

@cogdeth: How do you stay sane?

@bitchPimps: Laugh.

Doesn’t matter if you laugh or cry, I’m getting a boner.

@NCcrushinonRJ: Do you want a divorce? … just kidding ;)

@bitchPimps: And miss all THIS?

Fuckin’ evil. I like it.

@AZ_RedDragon: Were you scared the first time he drive you around in his van?

@bitchPimps: No but the hooptie piece of shit truck he drove me around in made me hide on the floor.

That motherfucker was built like a brick shit-house and is still running. WHAT? WHAT?

@itswillbitches: If you could wear a strap on and fuck one guy in the ass, who would it be?

@bitchPimps: I think the “if you were a lesbian” question would be much easier to answer.


@itswillbitches: If I paid you 5 canadian dollars, can i sit in the corner all creepy like while you slowly eat a banana while watching 2 elephants have sexual relations on animal planet with a random passer by peeking through the window?

@bitchPimps: Sounds like a family friendly Friday night.

This has clearly been thought out. I admire the dedication. A+ Would masturbate again.

@bwstrangler: Who would be involved in your dream Teradactyle?

@bitchPimps: Ewww.

Yea, dude. Have some class for christsakes.

@sharkchucker: Who is your free pass celebrity, that if you had a chance to bang, bit would let you? And who is his?

@bitchPimps: Funny how I could answer this for him but not for me. Jessica Alba or Selma Hayek. Good thing I resemble both of them.

See? My wife knows I’d ruin my life to bang either of those bitches. So in a sense, you could say we have the strongest understanding and relationship ever.

@NCcrushinonRJ: At what point did you think you wanted to go from my ho to my wife?

@bitchPimps: Is there a difference?

Probably Smokey and the Bandit. I’m a catch.

@AZ_RedDragon: Lets just say for sake of argument, does @bitPimps prefer evening gowns or sun dresses?

@bitchPimps: Neither, he prefers short shorts with Juicy written on the ass.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

@AZ_RedDragon: Whats it like being with a guy who has 6 pack abs, and does @bitPimps know about him?

@bitchPimps: That was fucking hilarious dude, I don’t even have a response for that one.


@itswillbitches: Would you fuck me?!?!? I’d fuck me!!

@bitchPimps: Bit says that all the time, even has the creepy voice down perfect.

What can I say, I’ve got game.

@AZ_RedDragon: Have you ever seen @bitPimps dad naked? Would you like to? #IHavePhotos

@bitchPimps: Good God, NO and NO! But thanks for the almost nauseating mental picture.

I’m telling my dad what you said!

@bwstrangler: Mimosa or bloodymary?

@bitchPimps: Neither, flavored martinis or just a nice cold beer.

Women, am I right?

@bwstrangler: team Edward or team Jacob?……………. #NoHomo

@bitchPimps: Seriously, you’re a fucking homo.

OH, BURN! lol

@bwstrangler: Favorite Doritos?

@bitchPimps: Enchilada and Sour Cream. Good luck finding them.

Where the fuck did those things go? It’s like David Blaine sent them into the Cumtardian System.

@itswillbitches: If you were a full on butch lesbian, what kind of job would you call your career?

@bitchPimps: Fucking awesome.

I’m not sure how to take that.

@sharkchucker: Does bit scare you sometimes, and why? #clownsarescary

@bitchPimps: Just once. Before we met and before webcams, he had me convinced he could see me in my house and we were 1500 miles apart.

Seriously, that was a crowning achievement. Absolutely classic! She was scared shitless.

@itswillbitches: Do you have any canadian in you? want some?

@bitchPimps: Been there, done that. I’m all American now.


@AZ_RedDragon: Does @bitPimps still cry after sex?

@bitchPimps: Only if we forget to take out the butt plug.

Those were tears of joy!

@bwstrangler: Are u game for cannibalism if it meant survival?

@bitchPimps: I say no, but with my love for food, my fat ass would probably dive right in.

Guess who has two thumbs and is gonna survive? This guy! HEYOH!

@itswillbitches: Would you let me fuck @bitPimps using @AZ_RedDragon as the condom? #nohomo

@bitchPimps: Only if I could watch, record and reserve the right to distribute.

It’s already on PornHub.

And there you have it, she answered way more questions than I expected! Hope you had fun, I think she did, I heard her laughing a few times – and I didn’t even have my dick out.

The #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers Game

Every now and then I have a stroke of genius.  Or it was an actual stroke, I’m not sure but I created a new hastag game: #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers. This is possibly one of the greatest things I have ever thought up on a Thursday night before bed in March.  Here are some of the things people came up with.  Enjoy.


@bwstrangler: It was @AZ_RedDragon when @EllisMate stuck that @bitPimps in that lady’s @possiblytully and thanked his @KimDultz

@bitPimps中: ‏ At first I was all like, @OMGZeebrazz, but then I saw it was @RachelAndSarah so I pulled out my @tank_yanker

@tank_yanker: I tried to undo her @OMGZeebrazz to see her @CobraTits and she got all @testyboy !! Tried to @bwstrangler me!

@tank_yanker: That’s correct officer, I hit him with @FonzoBlunt object. The body’s in the trunk of my @chevro1et.

@bitPimps: Call me @Amy_L_Sss because I get all @e3guzman when I’m @NCcrushinonRJ her @babythroat like a @BEZERKAH1_3

@bitPimps: If @MyMathGarcia is correct, I should be to send my @RedJammieGirl to college & that would be @atmbcool

@bwstrangler: Can’t wait 2 get all @DougBenson and go @mayhemmiller on a cheeseburger then just @mike_in_canada on the couch

@bwstrangler: my wife’s @bitPimps are huge, can’t wait 2 pull out my @tank_yanker and @AZ_RedDragon all over them

@JohnnySkidmarks: It took @3_days to find out that most of my followers think that I’m a @sarcasticunt

@Jen_E_Morse: Can I lick your @taternuts?

@Jen_E_Morse: I wanna get @DirtNasty with @EllisMate

@AZ_RedDragon: I’m @cantskateanymre and going to @possiblytully for the night.

@AZ_RedDragon: I’ll show you my @tank_yanker if you show me your @herro_amy

@AZ_RedDragonI have a huge @mike_in_canada it hangs way below my @bitPimps and its fucking @bwstrangler

@tank_yanker: I drank too much @WhiskeyGirl923 and went @BEZERKAH1_3 then turned into a @Wolfman812.

@bitPimps: I asked my @RedJammieGirl how she wanted her @herro_amy treated & she said to @donaldschultz it.

@tank_yanker: I’m all out of @_Prozach74 , and @Addicted2Diesel now, and my ass is @AZ_RedDragon now…

@tank_yanker: I’ll @bitPimps slap anybody that touches the ladies, and dump the bodies on the @shit_toboggan

@Jen_E_Morse: I want to suck your @GatorHotdogDog and take it in the @dannykass

@tank_yanker: I took my ex to the river in my @chevro1et and @bwstrangler‘d her there

@KimDultz: I wanna get @AZ_RedDragon wasted!

@KimDultz: I wanna @Fngr_Xpressions @_daniBum_ all night long till I get @sleepyjoe_RDS and pass out in the @oilfieldtrash84

@KimDultz: I held my @gungirlRDS up to your @Meaty_OZ @stapleneck and it went @boomer1600 then you were @cogdeth

‏ @bitPimps: I told @KimDultz I was @mike_in_canada just so I could @nickyknac her @VZ4SHEEZY but she said to @Saveit4thewar


These are a few of the posts that I could find, there are some really brilliant people out there.  If you have any ideas for Hastag Games send @bitPimps or @Az_Reddragon a message and we’ll put up some of the results.