Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/18/13

Posted on April 18, 2013 by wiz1010

What’s love got to do, got to do with it? With that, welcome to another Thursday edition of Thunder Dome with your host Tina Turner a.k.a Ellis. Yeah, I don’t get it either, too deep for me. Speaking of too deep, Tully apparently got a little too deep this morning while digging in his ass, just after taking a nice shit mind you, and on his finger was some liquidy substance. Unfortunately it wasn’t shit like we all had hoped, but blood is pretty fucking Red Dragons I’d say and that’s what was on Tully’s finger when he pulled back. After a thorough review, he determined the blood was in fact not from his deuce in the commode, but rather from his ass cheek. And thus begins today’s show, what is bleeding on Tully’s ass, call 855-355-4741 now and give us your thoughts. But please spare me the immediate need to rush to the hospital as it is both necessary and obvi! Let’s just focus on the potential para-rectal cyst lying deep in his ass tissue. Did you know this same scenario happened to Rawdog recently, but turned out he just ate some Doritos, DING! Thankfully Rude Jude stopped by to help us get off Tully’s ass, and focus on the real matter at hand….washing your hands. As Jude puts it, wash your hands so you don’t pass second hand dick – Good shit Jude! Jude taught us all about black hair care and what a weave cap is. He also said Lord Sears is working hard on staying awake, making it most of the show yesterday which also included Adam Carolla. “A Tree doesn’t get mad if you call it a bush. It knows its a tree!” – Rude Jude. Not sure how to transition from that to chics leaving snail trails and being proud of it, but it happens and I’m sure it somewhere on Vine. Of course, thats not to be confused with your Happy Trail, or Treasure Trail, or finally Hairway to Heaven!

Not sure I like where this is going….

Remember yesterday’s World’s Greatest Wednesday, well today’s just as good to finish it up. It was to find out who or what is, the World’s Greatest Way to humiliate a snail down in Flo-Rida. Yeah so we just went through all the nominees:

Rawdog betray the snails for a bagel and crucify them

Make snails have gay sex and make fun of them

Cook snails in beer and feed them to other snails

Make them listen to Accidental Racist (Don’t click it)

Beat the snails with Ellis’s PETA award

Put Offspring and Jeff Hardy stickers on their shells

Send them into space on balloons with Death!Death!Die! stickers for promotional purposes

Cum on a snail

Make them drunk driving monster trucks

Use a potato gun to shoot snails at other snails

Have Rawdog posterize dunk on a snail

Make the snails preform parkour

Make the snails preform the Mega Ramp

Surround them with a ring of salt, and a ring of beer outside of that

Spray them with Axe body spray, when their about the get laid, set them on fire

Drag them behind trucks

Dress them as the Statue of Liberty and make them spin signs on the street corner

Give the snails all white boy cornrows

(And some late additions to yesterday’s list, which by the way has a few removed that Ellis ditched prior to voting)…….

Put snails on Jiffy Pop and put them in the microwave

Tie Snails to both ends of a battery and make them touch to get zapped

Pull the snail’s dick out and pour salt on it, the “Salt Peter”

So that’s the list, can’t really do shit about it now but so you knew who or what was even available. Oh, and Rawdog only smoked like 3 or 4 times in college.

Rawdog’s new night spot coming soon!

Hollywood News bitches, and what other bitch but Kim Kardashian to start us off with her divorce of Kris Humphries and how it may be finally happening. Remember the dude Finch from American Pie, the one that banged Stifler’s mom, yeah well some one night stand didn’t want to leave last night, and well check this shit out! Serena Williams was strutting that ass in Miami and DAMN! Adele turned down a million bucks cause she still got more life to live, for real for real. Did you know Jennifer Aniston has been cupping, or better yet do you even know what the fuck that means? If oyu answered No, fuck yeah homie! Well Gwyneth Paltrow used to do it, and Tully hates that bitch, so you should too – remember that’s fuck Gwyneth Paltrow kids! Jaden Smith says that Obama told him Aliens were true. And thus concludes today’s Hollywood News, so now just back to how German dudes thought black dudes coudln’t beat them in sports until Jessie Owens and Joe Lewis kinda fucked all that up for them. From there it was Jackie Robinson and white dudes figured out that when the monies on the line, always listen to Wesley Snipes. Did you know that Michael Jackson stole the moonwalk from some dude who was a Solid Gold Dancer? Did you give a shit that Fergie is trying to vogue or some shit? No you didn’t, but I bet you do give a shit about this two on two MMA fighting over in Russia! Dom, fuck my bad, Lil’ Bane was out and about the streets of Hollywood yesterday allegedly saying Justin Bieber had been killed by Nazi’s for his Anne Frank comments the other day. Since Lil’ Bane produces The Jason Ellis Show, he had a tape record on him, and we all got to listen to people’s reactions. People such as some old lady who swallowed the microphone and some dude who already knew about it before Lil’ Bane told him. Batman actually spoke and gave his regards to Beiber’s mom. Finally some Australian dude was propsitioned mon, “Fuck the Cunt, I shoulda killed him”. He’s getting better folks, hell of a job Dom!

….Mon!

News from a Dolphin, my favorite shit might I add, about some lady who cut off her husband’s dick cause he was fucking an old girlfriend or some shit. But enough of that, lets get down to some real business. All show Ellis n Tully sprinkled in some shots at Rawdog about basketball and getting a game together. Well it will be sometime tomorrow morning, with Rawdog trying to make 3 out of 10 layups, and also a two on two game between Ellis N Tully verse Will and Dom. Unfortunately tickets aren’t for sale, but how fucking sweet would it be to see this. Just make sure to listen tomorrow for what happens. Kinda like yesterday, when you had to tune in tomorrow which is today, to find out who or what is the World’s Greatest way to humiliate a snail. Well folks, here’s your top ten:

10 – Put Offspring and Ed Hardy stickers on the snail’s shells

9 – Beat snails with Ellis’s PETA award

8 – Send snails into space with balloons to promote Death! Death! Die!

7 – Make snail parkour videos

6 – Dress the snails as The Statue Of Liberty and make them spin signs on a street corner

5 – Pull the snail’s dick out and our salt on it

4 – Put them inside a circle of salt, surrounded by a circle of beer

3 – Spray them with Axe body spray, and as they’re about the get fucked, set them on fire

2 – Have Rawdog betray the snail’s for some bagels, and crucify them

1 – Have Rawdog posterize them

Hey don’t look at me, you fuckers voted on this shit. Seems pretty accurate to me though, cause having The Illusionist dunk over you and see it on your bedroom wall is some fucked up shit. But no where as fucked up as the last episode of Suck My Dick with Will and Lil’ Bane, where Thunderballs and I took turns cupping your grandma’s ass while we moon walked all over her pussay, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/11/13

Posted on April 11, 2013 by wiz1010

Rape Dragons!

You’d think today was like any other Thursday, but nah mate you are, and things were a bit off today. The romper stomper intro just wasn’t doing it for ol’ Ellismate. No Rawdog today, still got the jew aids, which Ellis thinks he may be getting too which sucks Will’s toe. Just weird was all, but not a sign of loosing it by any means. But what if Ellis or Tully lost it, and not just their radio goldness, but their overall shit? Tully plans to have a trusted few to which he can ask just that, and if they all agree he’s off his rocker, then it must be true. Of course we all remember Ellis retirement plan…..Heroin n XBox. But again like I said, they haven’t lost a thing – straight into yesterday’s truck pulling Tully proposition. Seems Will is a fucking hater from way back concerned Tully may hit a stick along his path to certain death. But as Ellis reminded Will, it was JizzCult that let the show Tug-O-War a MMA fighter which is extreme! Tully reminded Jizz that Ellis knows the safe word so shit’s cool. None the less Ellis found the ‘Chinese Loophole’, not to be confused with the ‘Russian Corkscrew’, which was just to film it and put it on Ellismania and Bob’s Your Uncle! So is Will Pendarvis III a giant pussy or does his alleged wrestling of alligators at the tender age of 8 mean anything to you? How about Rape Dragon, does that ring a bell? If no, well thank Barry cause it’s just some shit from the show you don’t need to worry about for now, moving on….Tully gave us a sneak peek at a new Death!Death!Die! track that Bert McCracken laid some vocals down for which were similar to let’s say Axl Rose forgetting to use an over mitt, it was fucking awesome!

Dom says men who see this, want this!

If you haven’t heard the producer Dom yet, man you really don’t catch much of the show huh. Well turns out ol’ herpes stoke face has been pitching like 50 bits a day to Ellis N Tully and using no discretion at all, kinda like us #EllisFam and twitter, OH! While doing his best to entertain us with penis enhancement, and all because of David Beckham’s junk, Ellis figured out why Dom sucks so fucking much, its his voice. If he had a Bane mask, then he could be hilarious and overcome the material. Tully, being all Oxford and what not, devised a sweet Bane starter kit, with the kung fu grip, and Lil’ Bane was born. But Dom doesn’t have the deepest of voices, and apparently when he tries to make his voice deeper, he also quiets it. Also turns out Dom is very RawDog-esc, having troubles rolling his R’s as just one example. But with the Lil’ Bane starter kit, and his new found ~~New York~~ Caribbean voice, our new producer is tolerable to say the least. After all that laughter, nothing but MMA news for dat ass! Dana White tweeted something about the Ultimate Fighter Challenge which is Saturday, April 13th at 9:00pm on FX I’m pretty sure but you’ll see it. Also don’t forget UFC Fox 8 coming to well Fox I guess pretty soon too. Ronda Rousey says Fallon Fox ain’t cutting it, OH! Ok I’ll stop with the OH’s for now, but come on that was super cheesy and yes I punched myself in the dick. From there it was nothing but talk about how Frankie Edgar’s name is hard to remember and that he use to not cut weight, and how cutting weight’s for pussies. How one day Rawdog will just have a daily Dork Fuck Fest for a good 5 years as Tully see’s it. And don’t forget the immortal words of Mayhem Miller, “Posture Mate, Posture Mate”, which luckily were no help to Tony Gianopoulos Jr.

Today’s show is brought to you by….

Did you hear about the guy who walked into Home Depot, cut his arms off, and holy shit dude cut his fucking arms off? The good news is he’s got them pretty much sold to Danzig who will be touring with 4 arms, and well that’s it just 4 arms, kinda cool. Eden Alexander is pretty fucking cool too, been in over 75 porn films, kicks dudes in the balls, and tomorrow’s her birthday! She came by the show today cause she’s fucking hot so why not, and to play a game. Before that, check this shit out, Stage 5 Squirter is who were dealing with here folks. She’s a Power Squirter and can control that shit. She’s able to build it up, which is increased by fucking a lot, and can shoot it about 14 feet in distance, Pink Dragons to you my friend. So would Dom trade the verbal abuse he constantly deals with in exchange for spankings from Eden? “Not Really” was the answer I “Swearsed” I heard. All good though, cause we gonna play us some Medium Sized Dick Karaoke, cause its funny and since the big cock was missing. But what you don’t know is the medium sized cock can also shoot a load whenever you’d like. And what you also don’t know if Dom, or someone, didn’t check to see it fit the belt they have, of course it doesn’t. No worries, while ~~Dom~~ Lil’ Bane holds his medium sized cock, Anal Gay has to hold Lil’ Bane’s mask all dutch rudder like n all. Paradise City was the song and Eden was on the ~~cock~~ ~~mic~~ cock-mic, Lil’ Bane was on the….shit you get the idea. Eden did a pretty damn good job as Lil’ Bane creepily had his way with her face. Not to worry though, Eden got her revenge by spanking Lil’ Bane for a good 20 spanks. Pound for Pound a lot of fun but I guess you had to be there.

Great Defense!

We heard some new old rejoins, one of which had never been played before, so suck it! Remember that whole MMA cutting weight shit I kinda skimmed over, well Ellis has a friend who says there is a limit to how much weight fighters can gain back after they’ve weighted in, but again that’s for pussies. Real man would weight in after dominating a hot dog eating contest. And stretching, fuck that, put Jack Daniels in my water bottle n come n get you some! Hollywood News and Jay-Z told Obama to come get him some, well not really but he did rap back to the Cuba trip talk n all, check it out. Flavor Flav is headed to court for chasing or being chased with a butcher knife or some shit if your interested. Gwyneth Paltrow has some book out about eating so healthy it becomes unhealthy but you gotta go look that one up yourself. Turns out Justin Bieber is in Hollywood News today go figure, but he is NOT the #1 followed person on Twitter, not after you take out his 50% of fake followers, and there are other famous people maybe guilty of the same thing? And if you ain’t heard it all, this is why – Black Sabbath, who’s releasing a new album, decided to get the word out on an episode of CSI, yup! Then Ellis got a little off subject, and Tully rather than guide him back opted to join in….Yao Ming could beat up Kareem Abdul-Jabar….Kevin Garnett has a little head and is friends with Jerry Stackhouse….Juwan Howard….Luc Longley bangs mad hoe’s…..The entire ’96 Bulls team sucks balls and tea bags Phil Jackson. Glad that’s over, now back to the #EvilEnvelope talks from yesterday, which is just an envelope of punishments for when you fuck up. Ellis n Tully read a few of the ideas from today, which were wearing ‘Juicy’ pants for a show, calling someone’s mom and askign her out, picking a cup and drinking it from water, toilet water, your pee! There were tons more, that were just good laughs for us all, and I also think they took a few ideas they didn’t mention as well. All in all a pretty good job Ellis Fam, but still not as good as that one time we all took turns sitting in a car full of bee’s, getting out and having your grandma squirt all over us to soothe the burn and hydrate us back to health, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/4/2013

Posted on April 4, 2013 by wiz1010

Peetard’s on the top!

Well how the hell are ya on this fine Thursday? If you’re jacked up on coffee, well has Ellis got some news for you. He’s thinking about opening up his own coffee shop, well since he makes his own coffee at home and its fucking delicious! I’d brew a fresh cup’o’Ellis every morning, I mean fuck Folgers right! Oh and fuck the dentist too, especially if your anything like Tully, who doesn’t even considering setting an appointment with his dentist until at least 3 attempts to call Tully and set one up. If you’re anything like Ellis, then you love the dentist…..cause its pretty sweet to get nitrous and gold teeth – pretty fucking sweet! Breaking News: Tiger is riding moto now. Not only that, but he is so stoked on it and takes it so seriously, he actually is listening to Papa Ellis when he shouts instructions. On another note, Rawdog has just about giving up on the bike race with Tiger at this point, as if we didn’t already know. I do know that we don’t know some dude Ty that Tully knows, ya know, but that dude did tell Tully that the experiences he share with his child are really just like living a 2nd childhood. Such a fucking cool concept – Im personally owning this one too. Ellis agrees and directly linked it to Nuclear Cowboys and taking Tiggy to see it – and how awesome it will be for Tiger, and for Ellis to see Tiger’s reactions and such. Of course this doesn’t mean Tiger or Linsanity has to re-live their fathers respective childhoods – which is really good for Tiger especially since Ellis reminded us how hard he grew up back down under. Stories of just being out with his dad’s friends, and how hard those mutha fuckers really were, just doing shit like destroying their own cars when they got shit faced drunk, and just dealing with it the next day – man the fuck up and get over it ya cunt! Shit like that just rubbed off on Ellis, even one time when he crashed his bike in the woods when the handle grip came off in mid air. Ellismate just got up, started up his bike and rode it on home – Whereas kids now a days would just fall down n cry and freak out and have no clue as to how to handle such a situation. Such a hard ass! Not to be confused with a Tard Ass or “Peetard” which apparently is Burger Ellis’s new name. Did you know animals love Rawdog? Did you know Rawdog could give a shit about animals, yeah I thought you did. Its not like he hates them or anything, just not his pick of the week if you know what I mean. Nothing like Tully though, who admitted if he was to ever move away, he would come back to his old hood to visit that stray cat he takes care of and bonds with. I mean he ain’t taking the little fucker with him to the new house, but he will stop by and say hi – super dad I tell ya! In other meaningless news – Cumtard has kidney stones and just got out of the hospital – North Korea ain’t fucking around they say – Bidding ends tomorrow on Honus Wagner’s famous baseball card if you give a shit!

Nothing Stupider Than Jewpiter….or this joke, OH!

Check this shit out some video Katie sent to Ellismate the fellas watched on the show for a good minute – sounded hilarious. Apparently the chic who sings it has allegedly been flagged by Interpol for some seriously sketchy shit – heres more info on that. Some other shit too I kinda missed detail on, but remember when Ellis saved that dude from getting raped near The Abbey? Well turns out some chic is suing them for similar reason, check it out. Hollywood News time bitches – and starts of on a somber note as Roger Ebert has kicked the bucket, sorry dude! Chris Bosh got got for about 300K in jewelry cause he’s a fucking moron, sorry dude! Heidi Klum is a fucking bad ass, so says this article on her saving some fuckers from downing, your welcome! Tom Cruise maybe does believe in aliens, maybe sorta kinda not really. Jeremy Irons is a fucking moron dude, just listen to this dude talk about gay marriage and incest, but not separately! And finally, but most importantly, Justin Beiber drew a picture today, of a mouse! And thats Hollywood News ma’fuckers! News on The Jason Ellis Show you may have missed – Rawdog is the bellboy of TJES, except he doesn’t bring your bags, just “Brings The Stupid”! Let’s test that theory, and play a little Ellis JeParty with your host Will JizzCult Pendarvis III. Today’s categories were ‘Rich & Famous’, ‘Around The World’, ‘Long O Make It Go Oooo”, and ‘Fictional Characters’. Yeah, I ain’t going question for question with ya, but instead I’ll leave you with some catch phrases and key words from today’s game: Poooooop – JewMoon (a.k.a. Jewpiter) – Who Beat The Jews? – Who Rapes Kids? – Boo Berries (The Super Food) – Super Man – Is Billy Crystal A Jew? and many many more!!! But, uncle Ghostload won’t ever lie to ya kids, this was one of the lamest Ellis JeParties to date, and to top it all off fucking Anal Gay Lewis ended up winning, so you know I ain’t lying! Still better than 99.99% off shit out there even on Rawdog’s worst day!

Just One?

“Balls Cant’ Fight Vagnias” so says Jason Ellis. Yeah they got to talking about Fallon Fox, the transgender female fighter who used to be a dude, and whoops up on women in MMA but claims being a dude back in the day has nothing to do with it. Joe Rogan disagrees, and here’s the video to prove it! Ellis said a tranny said its mellow, but then some doctor dude called in and verified that the male body is structurally different than the female body, including thickness of the skull, which we all know is extremely helpful when fighting MMA or doing heel grabs on your fresh blades! Somehow the same doctor dude also broke down that males have started to under developed their bodies and over developed their brains, in which Tully figured out that aliens are really just humans from the future, hmmm maybe! Steroids are ok to use also, we figured that out as well. they’re especially ok to use if your wife makes more money than you do, which is how it is in over half the households in the US says Tully and some article I didn’t bother to look up. Makes sense to Ellis, he knows a pretty semi famous dude who’s in that exact situation (It’s Psycho Mike in case you were wondering), and at first it was a bit weird, but in the end its all good! Ellis could see himself being cool with Katie being the breadwinner, and him staying home and cleaning and shit. Tully on the other hand isn’t so sure, well if he was trying to do something and it wasn’t working out, then had to hear to success of this significant other, yeah that could fucking suck I guess. You know who doesn’t fucking suck I guess, Bert McCracken, yeah he gets more awesomer each time to get he’s on the show. Since his last visit, Ellis went to go see Bert and The Used play, and they were’nt that shitty at all. Bert was pretty fucking sweet, and the other dudes in the band didn’t suck, so thats good! However, turns out on of those other dudes, who plays bass, used to date Katie back in the day, to which Bert gave a huge compliment saying she’s the only girlfriend dude had that wasn’t a bitch at all. That’s not why Bert’s here though, nah, he’s here to talk about how he could drink a half gallon of vodka right now, and that meth fucking sucks dude, I mean its cool at first, but the next 20 days awake really fucking blows. Bert also went to prison one time, not jail, prison! He described it like this, “You go to jail and you cry, you go to prison and your scared to cry”, oh and he weighed about 80 lbs. when he went in, from meth of course. Bert ain’t joking either, as today he sparked the idea of Ellis or Tully doing shrooms on air, well ok not sparked but reiterated cause he’s mentioned this before. Today he really tried to sell it, and thought Ellis and Tully both weren’t about it at all, Rawdog may be down. Josh’s only concern is being on the air and doing something stupid for us all to hear, to which Tully promised he wouldn’t let him do that, but to which Ellis said he’d just grab the fucking camera and thank Rawdog later – I vote option B! Speaking of shrooms, if you ever meet Bert, ask to see his driver’s license picture…..taking while on a quarter of shrooms allegedly!

Which one’s Ellis and which one’s Rawdog?

Jamey Jasta is the lead singer of Hatebreed in case you haven’t listened to the show in the last 6 months, and Bert says dude is fucking sweet. That makes it official, Ellis is a dick, especially when Bert said if you like “Brunches at strip clubs” then you’ll like Jamey Jasta, man I fucking like this dude now too. Maybe we will hear the front man from Hatebreed someday soon and wouldn’t that be the Perfect Day. Hey, what would the perfect day be for Ellis? Bacon, Pool Orgy, Smoothies, Burgers, More Bacon, Weed, More Orgies…..basically and orgy with some bud and room service. Scientists on the other hand seem to have a different take on things. I know what isn’t a perfect day for The Wing, the day Devin asked for heelys which was just the other day. Well, Ellismate had to lay down the law with Snook, telling her there are two things in life that are ‘No Way’, heelys and of course rollerblading. Imaging a young Tiger catching air on his fresh blades and hearing “Nice heel grab Tiger” – fucking oath that’ll be the day. But then again, never thought I’d hear the day Ellis complimented HerpesStrokeFace, saying today since Dom has joined the show its been nothing but games and guests, fuck yeah Dom! Well, then why don’t we play a game with our guest Bert McFuckingCracken that goes a little something like this. Tully, Tully, Tully, Ellis no wait that was Tully. Yeah, Tully pretty much owned this game, which was to identify the song being covered by a different band and a different genre (Just look up Richard Cheese and you’ll get the idea). So not going to get into the game which was pretty fucking cool, just give you the gems you may have missed. Bert went to jail once for Scott Russo. Ellis hung out with Scott Russo once and woke up with a dick drawn on his head. Bert hates ACDC -and folks, I ain’t ever heard radio silence like this- but he was just joking so he survived this round, but barley. Bert’s done blow with Shai LaBeouf and Bumblebee allegedly! Dom’s gonna get some fresh shades from Electric Visual. Bert’s going to read Ellis’s book. Bert really really wants TJES to do some shrooms on the air, I mean really wants them too! Ellis did rollerblade one time while on acid. Bert put on a diaper and shit himself one time, also on acid. Dom got the shit beat out of him live on air, well off air in the green room but we all heard it. Your mom got the shit beat out of her live on freecams.com, but you had to give her 1,000 credits to be able to see me smack it with a tennis racket, OH!

Show Re-cap for Friday 3-15-2013

Posted on March 15, 2013 by wiz1010

Fuck You! I don’t have to tell you shit man, I don’t have to tell you it’s Friday, and I certainly don’t have to just talk about The Jason Ellis Show. In fact, Fuck That! Its Dog Center mofo’s and joining our illustrious host Josh Rawdog Richmond is none other than Michael McTumble Tully (It’ll make sense later on) back from a two day aids-cation, which he “claims” to be over, uh huh! Rawdog doesn’t really fucking care what Tully has to say cause he gets to push the buttons and sit in the big boy seat! Tully did say he checked out some radio while out and the ‘Best Riffs’ was good clean radio fun! Superdad is also shocked Purple Haze is now out of the pool of 64. Tully also caught yesterdays no dick having proposition and got Rawdog started again, and just as he was about the marry a tranny, in walks our hero, our saviour, Young Wing. Well I guess Rawdog didn’t get that memo, you know the one about checking with Ellis first before just going into Dog Center like that. Turns out he didn’t get it, so in the end we all learned a valuable lesson today kids…..It’s Will’s fault, fucking Jizz Cult, who isn’t there today cause of his own aids-cation, which has officially been termed “Tully’s Shit Your Guts Out Disease”. Just hope that shit don’t make it to the East Coast! Anyways, Tiger kicked a ball into his face, and then he whipped his face off on Burger Ellis, and your Chad Reed’s poopie underwears! How sweet would it be to take Tully’s new drug, which makes you feel just like a 3 year old, blissful as it may sound it does include temper tantrums? How sweet would it be to think a Sperm Bank is the place you donate your load huh Rawdog? From there it was just phone calls on fisting stories, the likes of which produced the creepiest of creepy. One caller did remind Ellis how symmetrical and proportionate, not to mention aerodynamic, Ellismate’s penis is. That and Tully needs to tell Ellis this same type of compliment more often, to which Tully jsut dodged big time, finally giving in with a mediocre “Nice Cock”. Rawdog on the other hand does care for 6 pounds, and even suggested he get a Weenie Warmer for those colder nights!

Hope You Get Better Soon Will – Barry Damn!

UFC News is pretty fucking simple, its UFC 158 this weekend with Nick Diaz battling George St. Pierre, oh and GSP plays ~~mind games~~ with himself! Grill Em All is this magical fucking place where these sweet add dudes make the baddest fucking burgers n sandwiches n all since like well never before. They came on the show to toss out some eats for the gents to review, and to plug their shit – win/win! Did you know Grill Em All is no longer just a truck driving around Cali, but rather a restaurant, with walls n a restroom n shit in the restroom n shit. Crazy I know – Its also true they got some deal worked out with Metallica for the name n all, and Metallica has not eating there as of yet. The dudes from Grill Em All did get to meet Lars one time, through Dave Grohl of course. They also were invited to a party Metallica was having, but didn’t make it??? Whatever, these dudes brought food and its Friday so fuck off. Ellis had the Behemoth which was fuckign awesome. Rawdog had the Dee Snyder which was pretty fucking tasty. Tully had the Bar Coastal, also excellent. This place sounds delicious! Weekends are crazy busy for the boys so it sounds like their move indoors is paying off handsomely. The good folks at Grill Em All also extended the hook up to Rawdog to impress any date he may want to bring by, fucking cool man. If your ever in California check these mutha fuckers out and enjoy!

Image from searching “Panda Porn”

Image from searching “Panda Sex”

Breaking News – Panda Porn works! Its weird as fuck, but apparently all those years of shoving two teddy bears together has paid off. Well its March, so what else could that mean? Its Best Riff time everybody. Today we were able to advance one more team to the Elite 8, this time from the ‘Alternative’ bracket. I didn’t catch it song for song, but you get the idea:

#1 – “Superstitious” – Stevie Wonder WINNER

#16 – Some Radiohead song

#8 – No freaking clue

#9 – “In The Flesh” WINNER

#1 – “Superstitious”

#13 – That Pixies song

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver” – Primus WINNER

#12 – Violent Femmes

#5 – “Money For Nothing” – Dire Straits WINNER

#4 – “Jerry Was A Race Car Driver”

#5 – “Money For Nothing WINNER (Triple Overtime)

#5 – “Money For Nothing” WINNER

#9 – “In The Flesh”

So the MTV song defeated Les Claypool’s strip club anthem in one of the toughest fought battles we’ve seen in year’s folks, only to move onto the Elite 8. More to come on this when we, you, well really The Jason Ellis Show decides who has the Best Riff!

Say “Hi” Dom!

Hey you’ve met Dom, the new producer dude right? He seems pretty cool so far, but as we all know that don’t mean shit until you get bitten by a snake, or shit on by one too that’ll do it. Well, today is no better day to initiate Dom into the club and who better to bring in the muscle? Reptile Outpost no doubt! And how better to determine the punishment, the Wheel Of Doom no doubt. And how to determine he Dom should face The Wheel, a simple little Q+A devised from #EllisFam tweets and Rawdog. For those of you who wanna play along at home, I’ve left the questions at the end. Now look, questions don’t mean shit here, all we care about is life and living it right! Well man, Dom learned to live today and tomorrow the air will taste so good to him. Cheese will probably never taste good to him as its almost as scary to him as getting bit by a snake or scorpion. Well after the first two questions were wrong, and Dom suffered through both blue and cream cheese and near vomiting, we eliminated cheese from The Wheel and shit got heavy. From there Dom pretty much feel apart really. He pet a scorpion and then a bird eating spider with minor complaint, but when the giant cock roach came out Dom lost his cool and almost his lunch since those things apparently smell like shit. Then it was put your hand in the box time for Dom. The first go into the box Dom was lucky as he missed the dick and touched only the bottom of the box. Then the snake was put in and Dom got another go, and another. Let me tell you by this point Dom was freaking out, screaming with a pitch the likes of Frank Decaro, but the snake wouldn’t fucking bite him. By then Ellis just had the Reptile Outpost dudes bring the snake out and try to bite Dom while his arm was extended but no dice. Its almost as if there’s a direct link between stroke victims and snakes refusing to bite them, weird. Anyways heres the Q+A for you to play along at home, along with Dom’s answer when incorrect (And the “Correct” answers are in the caption of the next picture, if you don’t get it then you are Fucktard Of The Week):

1. What was Tully’s original nickname? “McTumble”

2. Who was 1st winner of Musical Chair Fight? “Dingo”

3. Whos the worst house sitter? “Dingo”

4. Who’s the king of all pouches? “Raw Dog”

5. Give another nickname for Rawdog?

6. Who’s the original owner of Ellis’s Porsche? “Benji Madden”

7. Whats the jet ski tat on Ellis’s leg say?

8. What’s the girls name who gave Rawdog a hand job? “Sasha Grey”

9. What is Tully’s kids nickname? “Little Man”

10. What is Ellis’s favorite Offspring song?

11. Name a sex move Ellis has invented? “The Mouth To Vagina”

12. What is Dingo’s catch phrase? “Really”

13. Who’s the greatest toon to do coke with? “Scooby Doo”

14. What’s the original name of Death! Death! Die!?

15. What does “TFB” mean? “Tumble McRumbleson”

16. Who lives under the studio? “Springs”

..and for those playing at home, Dom got 4 out of 16, I got 15 out of 16, how’d you do?

(1. Cow Fucker) (2. Butter Balls) (3. Jason Mayhem Miller) (4. Jason Ellis) (5. theres so many give yourself a point) (6. Thomas Haden Church) (7. Kawasaki or Kawaski) (8. I Don’t Remember) (9. Linsanity) (10. None of them) (11. Reverse Scorpion, Reverse Chicken Wing Ball, Reverse Motosaki) (12. Pound for Pound) (13. Skeletor) (14. Tony Hawk’s Taintstick) (15. Trust Fund Baby) (16. Bill The Scorpion)

How could I forget tonight is Tiger Box, the greatest event one man has ever planned. There’s gonna be metal n whores n locusts n Rawdog may go too, tis fucking sick man! But before the show can go on, Ellis needs to find his guitar tech/roadie, and this can only be done with a test of will n strength n fucktardedness. So each intern was giving a task to complete, a task that may or may not be asked of a tech in a pinch. Anal Gay Lewis had to go purchase rubbers, poke holes n ’em, and return as quickly as he could…..so Ellis can impregnate every lady there and make tons of shredding babies to carry the Riff on forever, duh! Fruitler was giving a gun, that may or may not, ok was used for a murder and needed to be buried where no one could find it. Both of them were to take pictures of the task for proof, and again return as quickly as they could, at least before the end of the fucking show right. I kinda missed a lot from here to the end, Hollywood News was about Sharon Stone pissing off her maid, and Val Kilmer tweeting Tully about checking out his new play. Well only 5 minutes of that shit and Anal Gay had returned. Well he definitely was the fastest thats for sure, but a job must be done correctly or the clock has not stopped ticking young grasshopper. Well, Anal Gay not only got regular sized condoms, he also decided it be best to take them out of the wrapper to poke the holes in them, and them slip them back into the ripped packaging. As Tully, who so elegantly hosts the world renowned Woman Am I Right, put it “woman ain’t that fucking dumb dude”! From here the show got very happy and stuff, cause it’s Devin’s birthday today. Happy Birthday Devin, hope you have an awesome day!!! Ellis worked it out so he could tell her Happy Birthday live on the radio, so everyone had to be super chill or else! Well Ellis flexed his radio muscle for Snookie to hear, and no more than 10 seconds after he said bye does Josh drop “…shit man, Fuck!” Fruitler had returned during all this, so lets see how he did. Well he had a picture of the gun being buried, and buried too! Well just to make sure he’s the guy, and to also quiet Anal Gay Lewis’s tears of frustration over losing this event, Fruitler was giving the same Impregnation mission, to which he poked the fucking holes into the wrapper – Boom! Anal Gay just died after that, and in my humble opinion got very Bitch Chocolate like from there on out. Anyways its Final Calls from there and you know we don’t give flying mother fucking fuck! All we care about is being elbow deep in your grandma with one arm, fist deep in your dad’s ass with the other, knee deep in your mom’s vagina with a leg, and standing straight up on the other as to form the self proclaimed “Family Tree”, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 3/6/2013

Posted on March 6, 2013 by Az_RedDragon

This is the show recap with style, recapping the radio show with audio style! We’re so sexy our own reflection tries to molest us! Speaking of molesting, Malin Akerman is so hot she should be beaten, but not in a bad way. Beaten in a good way, with love, and a stiff dick. Speaking of cocks, Andy Bell isn’t one and all good after he and Ellis had a chat yesterday after the show. Dom (the new producer) is colorblind and single so ladies if your looking for a dude with mismatched socks, he’s available. Rawdog thinks looking for one night stands is creepy, figures, and Tully fucked a girl while he was house sitting his buddy’s pad and had to replace the sheets because she…fuck it, I’ll say it, her box was stinky! Tomorrow will be a rather cramped show with Katie, Malice, Joanna, and Joanna’s friend for Tiger Box practice. A black drunk Inspector Gadget, a black homeless dude, and a white guy in a suit walk in front of a seven eleven. You were expecting a joke? As of that mental image wasn’t funny enough. Then talk turned to pitbulls, shotguns, punches in de face, nails across the back, apologies, and of course, sex. And that was all in one night!

back when her boobs were normal

Ellis says that he is the man he is because of the BJ’s he’s had. I’m not sure what that means but it’s good advise, so go get BJ’s and be a better man. Today is the 15 year anniversary of The Big Lebowski and Tara Ried offering BJ’s for cash. If Ellis could run the country he would be dropping nukes on assholes and making it rain FIYAHHHHH! Then the other assholes will know that we aren’t shitting around. Then they talked about the one on one world war scenario again the only thing to remember from that conversation is that Crazy Bones Jones is to be feared by all.

Do you know what the worlds greatest guitar riff is? You will. Much like the critically acclaimed Worlds Greatest Guitar Solo, we bring you Worlds Greatest Guitar Riff! Is it Pantera’s Cemetery Gates, Metallica’s Enter Sandman, GnR with Paradise City, or Iron Maiden’s Number Of The Beast? Sent your suggestions to Tully, Jason, or Josh via Twitter or email them at jellis@siriusxm.com to send in your suggestions and they better not suck.

A dog shot his owner in the leg in Florida, probably after the dog caught the dude with his bitch. It is Florida after all. Somebody said that Ellis changed after he regained the memory of his raping from a dude he helped and now he doesn’t want to help anyone, like Tully.

hahahaha, anus

Rawdog did his report on vaginas today, and we learned about the actual vagina, the vulva, the clitoris, the outer lips, and the roast beef. We also learned that there are many more uses for pubic hairs than just smoking them. Also don’t forget about vaginal odors and discharge. Finally, if you are a man, remember, your wiener doesn’t bleed, THANK BARRY!

In Feces News a man pooped on Camry and then fled police causing an accident on a freeway in California. A flaming bag of poo set a Pennsylvania house ablaze! Then they got off track a little and started talking about life on an islandlette and sharks then Jaws then Jaws 4, then mom Brodey fighting the Jawseses and something about Batmans butler, and how the Jawseses are big then small then big again, then the shark horse then a cat vs 100 walking goldfish. Back to jaws. Jawseses 5, terror at the academy awards. Oh and Dom is getting onto Grinder. In Hollywood News, Kanye is mad about being seventh on MTV’s hottest MC list, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are getting divorced, the dude that played John Conor is going to jail on a probation violation, and Cuba Gooding Jr is lying to chicks in the most awesome way and getting then in the sack! I made that last part up but you know that it’s true. Then Ellis gave a caller tips for taking your chick to the strip club, basically if she’s not cool with it, leave her fun time killiin ass at home! And Russel Crowe took a photo of a UFO, seems legit to me. Reminds me of the time I took erotic pictures of yer mum, she was in bikini bottoms, topless, on the beach. Everything was perfect until that stupid whale rescue team got there and pushed her back into the ocean, OH!

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Tag Archives: Dom

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/18/13

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/11/13

Show Re-Cap for Thursday 4/4/2013

Show Re-cap for Friday 3-15-2013

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 3/6/2013