Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 3/6/2013

This is the show recap with style, recapping the radio show with audio style! We’re so sexy our own reflection tries to molest us! Speaking of molesting, Malin Akerman is so hot she should be beaten, but not in a bad way. Beaten in a good way, with love, and a stiff dick. Speaking of cocks, Andy Bell isn’t one and all good after he and Ellis had a chat yesterday after the show. Dom (the new producer) is colorblind and single so ladies if your looking for a dude with mismatched socks, he’s available. Rawdog thinks looking for one night stands is creepy, figures, and Tully fucked a girl while he was house sitting his buddy’s pad and had to replace the sheets because she…fuck it, I’ll say it, her box was stinky! Tomorrow will be a rather cramped show with Katie, Malice, Joanna, and Joanna’s friend for Tiger Box practice. A black drunk Inspector Gadget, a black homeless dude, and a white guy in a suit walk in front of a seven eleven. You were expecting a joke? As of that mental image wasn’t funny enough. Then talk turned to pitbulls, shotguns, punches in de face, nails across the back, apologies, and of course, sex. And that was all in one night!

back when her boobs were normal

back when her boobs were normal

Ellis says that he is the man he is because of the BJ’s he’s had. I’m not sure what that means but it’s good advise, so go get BJ’s and be a better man. Today is the 15 year anniversary of The Big Lebowski and Tara Ried offering BJ’s for cash. If Ellis could run the country he would be dropping nukes on assholes and making it rain FIYAHHHHH! Then the other assholes will know that we aren’t shitting around. Then they talked about the one on one world war scenario again the only thing to remember from that conversation is that Crazy Bones Jones is to be feared by all.

Do you know what the worlds greatest guitar riff is? You will. Much like the critically acclaimed Worlds Greatest Guitar Solo, we bring you Worlds Greatest Guitar Riff! Is it Pantera’s Cemetery Gates, Metallica’s Enter Sandman, GnR with Paradise City, or Iron Maiden’s Number Of The Beast? Sent your suggestions to Tully, Jason, or Josh via Twitter or email them at to send in your suggestions and they better not suck.Dimebag+Darrell

A dog shot his owner in the leg in Florida, probably after the dog caught the dude with his bitch. It is Florida after all. Somebody said that Ellis changed after he regained the memory of his raping from a dude he helped and now he doesn’t want to help anyone, like Tully.

hahahaha, anus

hahahaha, anus

Rawdog did his report on vaginas today, and we learned about the actual vagina, the vulva, the clitoris, the outer lips, and the roast beef. We also learned that there are many more uses for pubic hairs than just smoking them. Also don’t forget about vaginal odors and discharge. Finally, if you are a man, remember, your wiener doesn’t bleed, THANK BARRY!

In Feces News a man pooped on Camry and then fled police causing an accident on a freeway in California. A flaming bag of poo set a Pennsylvania house ablaze! Then they got off track a little and started talking about life on an islandlette and sharks then Jaws then Jaws 4, then mom Brodey fighting the Jawseses and something about Batmans butler, and how the Jawseses are big then small then big again, then the shark horse then a cat vs 100 walking goldfish. Back to jaws. Jawseses 5, terror at the academy awards. Oh and Dom is getting onto Grinder. In Hollywood News, Kanye is mad about being seventh on MTV’s hottest MC list, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are getting divorced, the dude that played John Conor is going to jail on a probation violation, and Cuba Gooding Jr is lying to chicks in the most awesome way and getting then in the sack! I made that last part up but you know that it’s true. Then Ellis gave a caller tips for taking your chick to the strip club, basically if she’s not cool with it, leave her fun time killiin ass at home! And  Russel Crowe took a photo of a UFO, seems legit to me. Reminds me of the time I took erotic pictures of yer mum, she was in bikini bottoms, topless, on the beach. Everything was perfect until that stupid whale rescue team got there and pushed her back into the ocean, OH!9018520_600x338

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/13/2012

You may not realize this, but you are reading my 20th show re-cap on! I will give you a minute to celebrate, pop some champagne, buy a hooker, what ever you do to celebrate momentous events. This afternoon we relearned that the Wonder Child was allergic to gluten. I’m not sure what gluten is but I think that it is an allergy that pussies use to justify their pussiness. Getting back to the recap, Josh only ate Wonder Bread as a kid, which according to some listeners is full of gluten. Imagine that he doesn’t even know what he’s allergic to. But that is why we love him and his confusing, childish ways. Meth heads fucked every thing up for the rest of us with normal allergies because now you have to go to the pharmacist to get the good shit, thanks fuckers! Either way, it turns out that its The Man that makes us sick and The Man also makes the pills that make us better, so anyway you cut it, your getting fucked by The Man. That is, of course, your Jeremiah Johnson, then your one bad ass mother fucker.

Rob Dyrdek (@robdyrdek) came in today, and it was a great interview. He talked about the incident between him and Daniel Tosh of Tosh.O and said that if Ellis called him earlier, Dyrdek would have agreed to a fight at Ellis Mania 8. But alas, he did not and now that Rob’s head is clear he feels that fighting would not be the proper move. Rob talked about his charity and also openly apologized to Tony Hawk for the misunderstanding and communications between the two charities and then he started talking about a skate tournament and something about a front side ollie kick flip heel grab 180 into a smith grind ass gape foot fetish flippie grind ball gag. Those who skate know what I’m talking about.

There wasn’t a Worlds Greatest Wednesday today, well kinda. Apparently tomorrow there will be some art critic expert chick who looks at flower vaginas and there were many suggestions on a subject for this art expo from hell. During the suggestions, our dear friend bitPimps was put on probation for his suggestion for “Clydesdale’s ripping women’s faces off,” and rightly so, that shit is crazy and we have discussed this in depth previously. But on second thought, I think it would make an interesting sculpture. The “winner” of this non WGW was “Sad boobs in the rain.” Well done folks, cant wait to see hear the drawings. Oh and the Cougar Life saga continues, Ellis replied to some old dusty vag cougars and is still skeptical if this isn’t a scam. Again, can’t wait until tomorrows show because you know those bitches  aren’t waiting long, they got to get moving before they’re six feet under.

They’re not sad, but neither am I now.

Breaking Ellis Mania 8 news! Unfortunately Andy Bell (@andybell) will not be making it to Ellis Mania because about 8 months ago he dropped an internal load into his wife’s cookie and as your mum knows, you take enough unprotected mystery shots in the box and mistakes will happen, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/23/2012

Yeaaaaa motherfuckers. Let’s just jump right into it. Talk started off with a Tweet Tully had made the night before, about a hotel where you can act like a baby. I believe the consensus is that it would be a great idea. Then it turned to what’s the greatest thing to spend $2000 on. I don’t think that went anywhere, or if it did, I missed it. There was quite a bit of talk about Jason’s upcoming book, “I’m Awesome: One Man’s Triumphant Quest to Become the Sweetest Dude Ever”, and how high it might rank on the best seller’s list. Moving on…

Rawdog McDonaldRawdog first smoked pot when he was a sophomore in college, during a night of playing strip poker and truth or dare. Sophomore in college / truth or dare. It sounds so stupidly innocent if weren’t for the fact that the chick Rawdog was crushing on ended up topless, and also ended up hooking up with some other dude. Wha-wha-whaaaa. Poor little fella. Hmm… what else was there, let’s see…

Hypothetical question: If you were 70 years old, would you rather lose your dick or your life savings? I say life savings, you’re most likely near the end of your days anyway, you could survive. That has to be much better than carrying around a colostomy bag that you’re constantly shaking and dropping because you’re old a frail. And you just know you’re getting piss all over the place, pants, car, chair, etc.

Sounds like EllisMania 8 will be moved from the weekend of May 12, to the weekend of May 19 because Andy Bell (@andybell) has something to do the weekend of the 12th. Alicia, one of the chicks that fought in EllisMania 7 dressed as a taco was in the studio, she didn’t say much. So yeah, that happened. The future version of Jason Ellis called into the show, he was 50 and had some really uplifting and solid advice – life is going to get worse but it’ll also get better and something about skiing moguls.

And that’s where I leave it, stop, end, finish. I know, kind of an abrupt finish to a masterpiece, right? That’s just what I’m used to, your mom likes it when I finish like that all over her face. OH!

EM8 date change? – 2/23-24/12

The original announced date of Ellismania 8 was May 12th. Sounds like it’s being moved to May 19th…

UPDATE: The announced date is now June 23rd. The venue is still the Hard Rock Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas.

UPDATE (4/11/12): The Final, final date is July 14th!


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More confirmation.


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