Show Recap for Thursday 2/13/2014

Welcome to The Jason Ellis Show where Jason’s brain may be falling out of the side of his ear. Probably. Maybe. Maybe not. For the record, Tully thinks he sounds fine and normal, so maybe this is all just a false alarm and Jason’s brain is still fully attached to the inside of his head. Even though brains are sort of floaty and only attached by the brainstem and some flimsy membranes. But whatever. It’s probably still in there. Ellis has been playing a game on his phone but he has finished all of the levels and completely owned it because he’s awesome (seriously, there are two books about just how awesome he is) but he is wanting some more levels from it because no, he doesn’t want to get another game. It’s a racing game. Mad skills. Something like that. I dunno…I don’t play phone games and I tried this new thing today where I tried to listen to the show without pressing the pause button because that’s what seems to fuck up my app for SiriusXM and I therefore took about a quarter of the notes that I usually do and most of this is pure recall mixed in with the profanity that I spew while driving all day long. Tully plays a video game on his Wii and it’s Mario Kart and he seems to think that says something negative about him, but fuck that, because if you’re going to own a Nintendo and you’re mostly only playing one game…that game should be Mario Kart. He plays Mario Kart online a lot because it’s more of a challenge, but it’s also eye opening because he mostly plays against 7 year olds from Japan and there are a lot of them that he can’t beat. Some callers call about Ellis playing his phone game and he should play online because that’s how you unlock more boards, but there is one guy who says not to play online because it’s a bunch of 15 year olds talking shit to get you riled up. Ellis likes that there would be 15 year olds talking shit to him because he thinks that a 15 year old talking legitimate shit would be hilarious.

In other news, Ellis isn’t feeling too hot and he might be dying, but probably not, but his doctor should be calling him at some point today to let him know if he is dying and if he is what he could do. Tully is kind of also not on top of his game because he had some cocktails last night to fight a bout of mini insomnia and he feels bad about it because he had decided to quit drinking during the week and if he cheats he thinks it throws all of the good away. But he wasn’t sad drinking, he was delighted while he was drinking because if you’re going to go for something, then you may as well go all in. Ellis doesn’t have the kiddies this weekend, which is probably a good thing since he isn’t feeling too on top of his game, but it is Devin’s birthday this weekend and there is going to be a party. Ellis isn’t too clear on the party details, but he’s going even if he isn’t invited, because he’s the Daddy and the Daddy is always invited. He has to go shopping for her present tomorrow night and while from the outside it seems like it should be easy, but Ellis says that it can be kind of hard because she’s young and young kids see too many commercials and want stupid shit. I think it’s safe to say that she is not going to get rollerblades or Heely’s. Just saying. Ellis thinks that he is going to get her a new present and also do her room up a little bit because he just re-did Tiggie’s room and he thinks that Devin would like some new stuff to hang on her walls other than a giant painting by Grant Cobb. I think he’s right about that considering that one-she is a girl and girls love changing shit around randomly (I know because I am one and my friends and I used to reorganize and redecorate our rooms on a weekly basis for fun because girls are batshit insane and half lame when we’re growing up), and two- she did a mini revamp of her room by herself and moved her bed around all weird.

The show somehow segued into talking about being bald, hair loss, hair transplants, wigs, man wigs, and which celebrities have fake hair. The celebs that they talk about that Tully and Ellis believe have fake hair are John Travolta, Bruce Jenner, David Spade, Steven Segal, Nikki Six, and Tom Brady. They all have really good fake hair except for Bruce Jenner who has two separate hair lines and it’s so bad that even Tully can tell, and he admittedly is not the best at pointing out people who have had help in the hair department. Ellis thinks that it would be cool to have really good fake hair and he would like to have it for a week or so at a time so long as it looked good. He would be good advertising for a hair replacement place because, as Tully says, Ellis is the kind of guy who would admit that he has fake hair and tell everyone where he got it done. But, on the flip side of that, if Ellis got fake hair from somewhere and it didn’t live up to his expectations he would probably blast the shit out of it and no one would ever want to go to that hair place again. There are a bunch of callers who talk about being bald, their bald friends, and the places that they went to get fake hair, and a lady calls who used to attach the really good hair pieces to people for a living and she said they use wood glue which sounds super weird to me. Want my opinion? If you are losing your hair, just bic that shit, guys with no hair are fucking hot as hell and if you keep it tight I might ask to lick your head.

Back from the break Tully lets us know that a man in Northern England mysteriously lost his penis near a rest stop and the police shit down the highway to do a ‘fingertip search’ of the area while trying to find this poor guys schlong. Why is this mysterious? Well, we don’t know how the guy lost his dick (unfriendly rest stop glory hole, mayhaps?), and the cops (Or Bobbies as they are called in England and I wanted to be able to call them Bobbies) will neither confirm nor deny that they have found the missing member. Poor guy. Or not. The poor guy is in a medically induced coma and most likely is not aware that he is still missing his penis. Ellis agrees with the decision to put the guy on ice, because if he had his cock chopped off he for sure would want to be put on ice because what is the point of living without your cock??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I sure as hell don’t know the answer to that because I don’t have one…and I can’t exactly lose my vagina because it’s a hole. Boom. Advantage female gonads. Add that to the list of being way more discrete when aroused and being more fun to play with!

There is no good way to go from talking about chopped off cocks to Rob Dyrdek, so, let’s just start talking to Rob! There’s no more Fantasy Factory, ladies and gentleman. It’s over. Not really because there was one more new episode on tonight, but it’s already happened even though it hadn’t happened yet when they were talking about it, and we all know that Fantasy Factory will live on forever in the land of replays on MTV and MTV2. The interview with Rob was really good and really long and I took about 5 lines worth of notes so I will not be doing it justice and I highly recommend trying to catch the interview on the replay in the morning, or download and listen to it on demand. But anyway, although there will be no more new Fantasy Factory, Rob has a new show of some sort on Fox Sports One involving street skating and it seems to me to be a competition, legitimate sports show that will be an ongoing thing as opposed to a Fantasy Factory/Ridiculousness venture, but it’s awesome that it’s going to be on Fox Sports One because that’s a big deal. Apparently, while all of this was in the works Rob made a call to Dana White (you know, the UFC guy) and asked him to put in a good word for him over at FS1 to which Dana White responded, “Fuck yeah! I’ll call you right back,” and then called him right back and said, “you’re good”. Must be fantastic to have that powerhouse of a fucking human being backing you. Ellis should call Dana White and see if he can get on tv because it’s really only one phone call away. All kidding aside, Rob Dyrdek himself is a powerhouse of a fucking human being who has a great mind for business and branding and is obsessed with his career and may never get married. Wait, what? Ellis asked Rob if he has a girlfriend, which he does not, as he has broken up with the girlfriend pictured on his instagram. Or maybe she broke up with him once she realized that he wasn’t going to marry her. He may never get married because he’s going the Clooney route and is super focused on his career and is not in a rush to settle down with someone because he is not normal. I’m not calling him not normal or abnormal, he called himself that, and frankly, marriage isn’t for everyone and I don’t think that finding marriage less than desirable is all that abnormal. Especially for a rich guy. If shit doesn’t work out with a girl and you’re rich and married, half of your hard earned fucking money goes to her because she agreed to fuck you and then probably stopped fucking you. A man like Dyrdek has a lot on the line for bullshit like that. The other problem may also be that he isn’t dating the right girl because Ellis points out that he tends to date dime pieces who, although super hot, probably don’t match him on an intellectual level. Rob agrees that the perfect girl for him would be a smart girl who is also a dime piece (sorry, I’m taken) and maybe one day he will get married, but maybe not. They talk about Ellis and Wolfknives and getting shit in order and how Ellis could be so much bigger than he already is, but he might want to look into getting a business partner and surrounding himself with more business minded people who can help to execute the awesome ideas that Ellis has. Rob also had a lot of nice things to say about the Crypt Keeper, who also goes by Larry King, saying that he had a deep interview with him and Larry King is a genius. However, he did mention that some time after the interview he did with Larry King they ran into each other at a restaurant and King introduced him as a ‘big snowboarder’. SMH. Even I know that he’s a skateboarder and to be honest, the only other skateboarder I can name is Tony Hawk. They talk a bit about being famous and getting hounded by fans and paparazzi, which doesn’t happen all that much to Rob because he manages to be a low key guy and he knows how to play the game and doesn’t show up at the places where papas are constantly standing watch for famous people to annoy. It also gets brought up that Rob was a huge designed for DC shoes, which I didn’t know but Hubbs did (he basically only wears DC’s), and I thought it was funny cause the Bub just got his first pair of DC’s. Those fucking things were more expensive somehow than the ones that Joe wears, which makes no sense to me because they’re about a fifth the size, but, whatever. But you know what? Rob Dyrdek is awesome, he’s a powerhouse, and if you want to believe that you can do anything, check out the empire that this guy built.

Back from the break there’s another guest in the studio and her name is Alyssa Sutherland and she is from the show that Ellis currently loves on the History Channel called Vikings. And…I dunno if it was just me, but this interview was super fucking awkward. Like. It was bad. Not the interview. The awkwardness. I don’t really think anyone gave Alyssa the heads up on what kind of show The Jason Ellis Show is, but she was pretty touchy about a lot of things. It fascinated me. Like, how did no one tell this bitch what this is all about? It’s like throwing a seal into a tank with a shark and telling the seal that it’s just another fish. Damn. Just…damn. Alyssa is an Aussie who won’t tell Ellis or Tully how old she is, and she used to be a model but is an actress now. She didn’t like being a model all that much because she said it was mind-numbing, but she really enjoys acting and doesn’t like discussing her personal life, which Ellis found out real quick when he asked her if she were single. *Hiss hiss* I don’t know…maybe I just don’t like her. Ellis talks a lot about how she’s super hot, but even manages to offend her with that, and…I really didn’t like her that much. There. I said it. She’s not my kind of girl. Maybe it’s her publicists fault. Maybe I’m reading into it too much. They manage to talk about the show she’s on a little bit, they talk about Vikings in real life, she doesn’t like cats, she used to be in gymnastics…yaddayadda. I can’t. I didn’t like her. Hubbs laughed a couple times, but he didn’t hear the first ten minutes or so of her being on…so I’m not going with him on this one. Ellis straight out called her touchy and Tully said she was being overly defensive…and I agree. She needs to roll with the punches a bit more and then she’ll probably go far. She ended the interview with him by saying, “Thanks for having me and asking weird questions.” Whatever, bitch.

Wrapping up the show there is some Hollywood News involving Rocky- The Musical. Ellis and Tully are not fans of musical theater. At all. They think it’s for old rich people who still think that’s a valid form of entertainment. And now I’m going to get all defensive. Who likes that shit? I like that shit. A lot. I know it’s geeky and dorky and ‘Oh God, you’re one of those‘ but I am a straight up Musical/Theater junkie. I would totally sign up for a life where people broke out into song and dance on a daily basis for next to no reason because THAT SHIT IS FUCKING AMAZING! I have showtunes on my ipod. I acted in them all throughout school as well as doing some outside productions, I have friends who majored in Musical Theater in college, are on Broadway (or Off-Broadway), and full on make a living out of it. Musicals are hands down the shit. And you know what? My daddy digs musicals and so far as I am concerned, he is the voice of God, so that’s all the proof I need that Musicals are next level amazeballs. Matthew McConnaughey talked to Snuffaluffagus (the Canadian Greek Dr. Drew) about how he came up with his ‘Alright, alright, alright’ catch phrase, and Ellis commented about how seeing actors as they really are ruin it for him, and they talk about how George Lopex told Ellen that he has quit drinking after passing out on the floor of a casino. Before you know it, it’s final calls, and people can’t talk on phones.


Things we learned on the show today:

Ellisfam Tom was on KCAL9 wearing a Death Death Die T-shirt

There’s something going on outside of the studio- lots of emergency vehicles

Weird Al’s parents died from Carbon Monoxide poisoning and that’s super sad

Any problem can be solved using Ellisfam Google

Cullen is a Bitter Baldy

CumTard is super pumped about his Rogaine shampoo

Rob Dyrdek is so amazing that Ellis even says it when he isn’t around

Rob Dyrdek is going to die at the age of 105 after being shot into space at 104 and hanging out there for a while

Rob Dyrdek is never going to be sold on getting a prostate exam. Ever.

Ellis used to want to achieve ‘paparazzi on his dick’ level fame, but is glad that he doesn’t have to deal with them

NYC turns you into a heartless, tunnel vision, asshole (allegedly)

Alyssa Sutherland was starstruck by Rob Dyrdek

There are creepy dudes in Tully’s neighborhood and his doors are seriously locked

Final caller is so right about Long Island, New York loving TJES (I know, cause that’s where I’m from, you go caller guy)

Final callers really suck still

If you’re going to cheat on your wife, get divorced, you’ll wind up being less of an asshole

Floyd Mayweather may have kidnapped and beaten some guys he thought stole jewelry from his house

Rich people are rich so they can ingest disgusting things like caviar and champagne

Kool Aid is way tastier than Champagne


So yeah…hopefully next week I’ll be back to taking notes because I’m not super happy about how this turned out. It may also be that I kind of am hating on Alyssa Sutherland. I don’t hate her, but I think I’m taking out some of my bad mood from yesterday on her. I’m sure she’s a lovely human being…but I would also really like to see a video of her getting blasted in the face by a potato during a food fight. Just sayin.

Show Re-Cap for Monday 11/11/2013


Shout out to NYA’s only reader. Our only friend.

Hello Bungday, we meet again. Hello readers, we meet again. Hello walls, how’d things go for you today? The shit you hear inside your head maybe like what a snake hears via it’s belly. Who fucking knows, science? SOMEONE GET ON THAT, PRONTO! Dingo has a sweet gold chain on today, so says Ellis. Rawdog has a replica of a chain like Dingos, it’s plastic, painted gold, and from a fair or some shit – you know, baller status shit. The studio is moist today, so is Dingo, and people in the Philippines, so shout out to them – but fuck that typhoon Haiya, no shout out for that typhoon. Fall Out Boy shout out the Philippines, Tully even saw them tweet it, still, no shout out to Fall Out Boy either. Dingo went snowboarding on Saturday and got shit-whipped. Dingo also agree’s that Katie has a great ass, no homo. People see your face differently than you see your face, which is why everyone seems to ask you, “what’s up with your fucking face?” If you got a true mirror, where your image is reversed so you can see yourself like others see you, then you too can hold your vomit back. Just kidding. I’m sure you look splendid. Very pretty. Beautiful even.


More titles to read to your children at bedtime.

Ellis bought his kids the Shaun White skateboard ramps, because… Well, I don’t know why. Whatever. Anyway, he had parenting stuff this weekend, Tiger kicked some goals – not that kind – but literal goals in soccer, 6 to be exact. Some stinky kid was there. Nobody said shit to Stinky McGee, but everyone was waiting for him to burst into a shit-smelling cloud of nasty. Tiger scored on Smelly Turd-Turd which made daddy proud because red-headed Greasy Shitfartington was being a fuck knuckle. Tully met Thomas the Train. I remember when my kid was into that shit, it fuckin’ sucks and it’s even kinda creepy. Anyway, he got serious douche chills because of all the shame and passive-aggressive behavior that show teaches children, but now it was in real-life form, right in front of him. Rawdog did not meet Thomas, instead, he mentioned The Berenstain Bears and how he thinks it was a Christian based cartoon. And if anyone needs Jesus, it’s all y’all motherfuckers and Mr. Adultery himself, Rawdog.1 Actually, he’s not Mr. Adultery for the time being as he broke up with Karla over the weekend. You can tell he’s bummed, but it sounds like he also felt it was for the best, but of course still feels bad about it.


Pretty much everyone’s face when they’re trying to hurry up and finish masturbating.

Tully finally came clean. No, he’s never fucked Wilson’s ex-wife. He did however tell us that the new Death! Death! Die! album is planned to come out of the proverbial closet2 on Tuesday November 26th and there will be an on-air release party. He also says that the website should be updated within the next day or two where the album will be on pre-sale for you to pre-order and pre-cum. Also, he’s never bought a chick a dildo, but has bought plenty of vibrators. For women. And nothing too crazy, like a vibrating fist or Thor hammer. Also, he’s the best total package his wife has ever met. He thinks. Actually he feels really confident about that, he might not be the best cocksmith, but it was enough to rock his wife’s world. But as everyone knows, the real test for any marriage is the Rawdog test. If Rawdog bangs your wife and she doesn’t go back to him, you won. But if her Rawdog appetite is insatiable, you’re fucked – and not in a good way. Oh, and chicks that are too hard to make cum, that’s on them, not you. I mean, as long as you’re trying and not a total dick, or treating them in a way they don’t want to be treated. Also, its okay if the chick tells you that she needs to finger herself or she’s not gonna be able to cum. Lots of chicks can’t cum with just a cock jammed in their wee-wat. If you’re not okay with it, maybe you need some therapy. Or maybe she hates you and your smelly balls. Who knows, but you better ask somebody.3


Wait. What? Hendo got knocked out?

A new draft of the California bill to force porn stars to wear condoms is out, now they want porn stars to wear goggles. Which clearly is an attempt to force the porn industry to make more material for the goggle-fetish porn fans and screw over the jizz on my eyeball-fetish porn fans. Ken Block isn’t in porn, but he does have a new video out today, Gymkhana SIX, and it does not star Vin Diesel, or Rob Dyrdek. Ken called into the show and confirmed that indeed, his new video came out today, but he said nothing about not being in porn – so what I’m saying here is that he might actually be in porn.4 Vitor Belfort and Dan Henderson fought over the weekend and Vitor won by TKO in the first round, which might have included the very first time Hendo has been knocked out, even if just for a second. Jeremy Stephens won by knockout 40 seconds into the fight with a head kick. Want more MMA news? Head on over to your favorite MMA news website. What? No. I don’t have one to suggest to you, do your own damn clicking. Moving on, a Russian performance artist freaked out tourists when we nailed his nads to the street. He said it was a metaphor for Russian society, but nobody gets it. Red Bull is not in porn, but they too have a video out. Actually, they have a lot of videos, but this one is about a half-mile long supercross rhythm section.


How’d you react to the show logos that you couldn’t see? Be honest.

Ellis needs a logo for the show, and not the one on the show’s signature cum rag. So they sent Wilson some logos and before he even showed anyone, he sent them shits back because they looked like hell. Before we could get into logos though, Wilson’s wearing a Sam Rubin style watch that was given to him by a phone company to switch his service. Now, back to logos that we can’t see. Wilson flipped through several options and gave minimal descriptions for the listener’s, such as “then there’s this one” which really gave everyone a good visual representation of the logos. Ellis had a meeting with his new manager today, sounds like he’s stoked and thinks it will be beneficial to errybody. NFL talk time, Rawdog won this weekends round of bets with Tully on who would win, someone was supposed to get shocked or something and Ellis read a portion from his book. Oh, and racism. I have no idea how all this ties into to one another, I didn’t catch all of that part so you’ll just have to suffer. Hey, remember that site Ashley Madison? Some Brazilian chick is suing them for 20 million because her wrists hurt from typing up so many fake profiles for the site. And before I forget, OH!5

1 Just joking. That pretty much puts me in the clear, right?
2 I know, that makes little to no sense. Just roll with it.
3 Or don’t. See if I give a shit.
4 Eww.
5 What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Babies can get cancer.


Show Re-cap For Tuesday 11/27/2012

Remember the first time you saw Cumtard? Of course you do.

It’s Tuesday and nobody really knows anyone until you see them flip the fuck out. Example: Tully punched a bed once. Actually, that’s slightly misleading as Tully confirmed he’s the kind of guy that would plot your death if he were mad enough. Rawdog cried when he broke up with his chick. But hey, Usher and Justin Timberlake have cried before too, so don’t be a mother motherfucker. Speaking of Ursher (as Ludacris likes to call him) he’s a shitty singer but a good dancer, at least that’s what we hear. But can Ursher dance if his goddamned life is on the line? Probably not, he’s gonna die. There might be a dance off between the guys, the gauntlet seems to have been thrown down so we’ll have to see what kind of thuggery comes from this. Ellis thinks he may have damaged his secondary dick vein, not the main vein, we’re talking about the taggling dummy on the right side. Let’s hope this doesn’t have an adverse effect on his dance moves, should the dance off take place. It’s been suggested that Cumtard, the reverse fag-hag, could sell his own greatest hits album full of farts, vomits, and shits – for the low, low, price of $1.99! But the real question is, can dude dance his ass off? According to Cumtard, the majority of girls at a metal show are swampy, fat, beach ball chicks, which sounds a lot like a Juggalette.

Hell to the yeah they are baby, and that’s why we love you failed Hollywood starlets.

I don’t know if Satan just visited the phone lines or what the fuck went on, but callers were totally out of their shit shellacked gashes just before first break today. Hollywood news time, that crazy kid from Two and a Half Men? He’s still insane, and the guy in his whack job video that sat next to him? He had a pistol jammed in that kid’s ribs the entire time. Actually, that’s probably not true, but it would’ve made for a way better story. Remember Anna Nicole Smith? Her 6-year-old daughter wants to be a Guess model. No word on if she’s preparing by doing bumps of Fun Dip. Brad Pitt is filming a new movie, so your wives, girlfriends, what have you can diddle their axe gashes to that. He dumped $1,100 dollars into a charity bucket on a whim, he also dropped a load in several hot bitches’ buckets – allegedly. Halle Berry, Matthew McConaughey, and Jared Leto – what do they all have in common? Gout. That’s not true either, Leto had gout, Berry had bad relationships, and McConaughey had his run, so lets move on. R. Kelly is illiterate and pees on underage girls – Red Dragons, and Dolly Parton entered a drag competition and lost to others who were dressed as her – ouch.

Never doubt yourself, if these shitheads can make an album, you can do something too! I don’t know about defying gravity like this dude, but still.

You ever surfed on a red wave? And I don’t mean “have you ever eaten a chicks gash while she was on her period” kind of red wave, I mean a real, salt water, ocean – that’s red though. Me neither. But you know what we’ve all done? NMT. Alicia Keys was up first with Nicki Minaj and that bitch will give you gash rash. Next up was someone whose name sounded like “nostrils” so I was expecting something completely different. 50 Cent was up next, I don’t know how the fuck Adam Levine worked his skinny gash into the mix, but I don’t think it ups his street cred at all. Roc Marciano was up next, he used to part of Flipmode Squad and I’m guessing he wishes he still was, because the track we heard sucked a red wave. Yes, that kind. I don’t remember the rest, there was some jazz and jazzcult, but no jizzcult. More gash news, some dude was married to this chick for 20 years, turns out that chick he was married to was born a man. BA-ZING! You just got gashed, son!

Fuck it, I’m outta here. This re-cap is complete.

Final calls, let’s see if they’re anywhere near as fucktarded as today’s earlier calls. I walked in on the last part of Rawdog doing some freestyle rap – unfortunately, I have no idea what that was about. Some dude called about his snooping ass girlfriend getting mad at him for watching porn and I think I heard something about her never masturbating before – which has to be pure bullshit. Quick question. Would you lose respect for Rob Dyrdek if you caught him masturbating eight guys in his backyard? Well, this is the type of shit you need to start thinking about! Back to final calls. People still just don’t get it. People keep completely dropping the ball here. I’m going to give you a helpful tip, honestly. If you get through and the music starts playing at the end of the show – take advantage of the shit by SPEAKING, FARTING, SINGING, ANYTHING! Seriously, it doesn’t matter, the airwaves are yours! Alright, now that we have PSA out of the way, let’s talk about that massive bump on your mother’s forehead and how it got there. When she was little, people used to hang her from a clothesline and spin her until she puked. That’s not what did it though. Turns out, stopping her from spinning by using a shovel is what gave her the bump and the mental capacity of a 7-year-old. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/13/2012

You may not realize this, but you are reading my 20th show re-cap on! I will give you a minute to celebrate, pop some champagne, buy a hooker, what ever you do to celebrate momentous events. This afternoon we relearned that the Wonder Child was allergic to gluten. I’m not sure what gluten is but I think that it is an allergy that pussies use to justify their pussiness. Getting back to the recap, Josh only ate Wonder Bread as a kid, which according to some listeners is full of gluten. Imagine that he doesn’t even know what he’s allergic to. But that is why we love him and his confusing, childish ways. Meth heads fucked every thing up for the rest of us with normal allergies because now you have to go to the pharmacist to get the good shit, thanks fuckers! Either way, it turns out that its The Man that makes us sick and The Man also makes the pills that make us better, so anyway you cut it, your getting fucked by The Man. That is, of course, your Jeremiah Johnson, then your one bad ass mother fucker.

Rob Dyrdek (@robdyrdek) came in today, and it was a great interview. He talked about the incident between him and Daniel Tosh of Tosh.O and said that if Ellis called him earlier, Dyrdek would have agreed to a fight at Ellis Mania 8. But alas, he did not and now that Rob’s head is clear he feels that fighting would not be the proper move. Rob talked about his charity and also openly apologized to Tony Hawk for the misunderstanding and communications between the two charities and then he started talking about a skate tournament and something about a front side ollie kick flip heel grab 180 into a smith grind ass gape foot fetish flippie grind ball gag. Those who skate know what I’m talking about.

There wasn’t a Worlds Greatest Wednesday today, well kinda. Apparently tomorrow there will be some art critic expert chick who looks at flower vaginas and there were many suggestions on a subject for this art expo from hell. During the suggestions, our dear friend bitPimps was put on probation for his suggestion for “Clydesdale’s ripping women’s faces off,” and rightly so, that shit is crazy and we have discussed this in depth previously. But on second thought, I think it would make an interesting sculpture. The “winner” of this non WGW was “Sad boobs in the rain.” Well done folks, cant wait to see hear the drawings. Oh and the Cougar Life saga continues, Ellis replied to some old dusty vag cougars and is still skeptical if this isn’t a scam. Again, can’t wait until tomorrows show because you know those bitches  aren’t waiting long, they got to get moving before they’re six feet under.

They’re not sad, but neither am I now.

Breaking Ellis Mania 8 news! Unfortunately Andy Bell (@andybell) will not be making it to Ellis Mania because about 8 months ago he dropped an internal load into his wife’s cookie and as your mum knows, you take enough unprotected mystery shots in the box and mistakes will happen, OH!