Show Re-cap For Thursday 1/10/2013

Shout out to @JP_BOYLES315

                             No Shit!

Ghosts aren’t real, wind is real, your mom loves anal, and people are dumb.  Now that’s outta the way, let’s welcome and old and new friend to the show, Rude Jude and Brockalina.  More to come on our new friend, but first lets get to the Pill Mix master and how he still ain’t got his $100 painting from back in like ’98.  He also used to know a dude that went to Old Country Buffet, ate a whole bunch of food n threw it up so he could eat more….which means nothing, but it did bring out Tully’s admission to being bulimic in 7th grade, and that he can fit a microphone knob in his mouth.  Anyways, let me introduce you to our newest friend Brockalina and how he she it can help you.  Next time you in the Hollywood area, you can feel free to blow Brockalina for cash prizes or maybe rent or money for meth, whatever ya need.  Of course no puking or no deal.  And what about the radio gold it may bring us?  But what if the radio was just mysteriously gone one day, well what would they do then?  Rawdog would just fall back on his trust fund, probably bang out a few podcasts to keep himself busy.  Tully is back to waiting tables and would try to co-write some more shit.  Jude’s just bummed about washing windows n selling shit.  And for Ellismate, well besides an announcing gig or some shit, its porn….with Dingo!




I don't even know what to say

Brockalina bitches!

Such a sexy bitch that Brockalina – It was almost known as “Oh-Gay Simpson” but the condom didn’t fit, zing!  Yeah that’s about as funny as the shock collar pictionary the fellas played.  Cumtard and Tully, who wrote the game and studied the cards beforehand, took on Ellis and Rawdog in a battle to the death…..just about, loser has to blow Brockalina, and were all ready benefiting from this fine specimen.  Can’t really recap the game in words, but I can tell you it was pretty fucking hilarious, and Tully shocked the shit out of Rawdog, to the point of near tears.  Rawdog was pissed, and obviously flustered and he and Ellis got their asses handed to them.  It was all suspect since Cumtard wrote the game, which involved pictures such as Jesus, shit, a guitar which wasn’t a fucking guitar, a Red Dragon and more.  But a loss is a loss and time to pay the piper, except that Rawdog weaseled his way into making Ellis face the same task, which kinda sounds fair when you think about it.  Ellis, being the fucking warlord he is, popped a cherry-mint rubber on ol’ Brockalina and took the whole fucking thing, lips to balls ya’ll, Red Pandas to you my friend!




While visiting

While visiting

Hometown News time fuckers, and whats Hollywood without Justin Timberlake droppin some fresh new shit?  Destiny’s Child is dropping some stale old shit.  Elton John‘s having another kid as is Rosie O’Donnell, too bad not with each other.  The Oscar Nominees are out and Big Fucking Mega Boat didn’t make anything this year, so I’m boycotting personally – you do what you want.  Check this shit out, Piers Morgan and Alex Jones having a good ol’ tea party type altercation.  Finally in Hollywood News, it’s time for Rawdog to take his turn pleasuring the beast.  Remember that time in band camp, when Rawdog fucked Sparky (Red Dragons) and used the same rubber twice?  Yeah well damn if he didn’t try to do it again and jump on the rubber Ellis was slobbing on.  Damn Rawdog, just damn.  He got a freshie on, and away young Josh went.  Not too bad this go around, better than the Reckoning thats for sure, but certainly a far cry from Young Wing’s earlier effort.  Then Josh Hill and Dirt Shark stopped by the studio….check out I guess, and shout out to Ricky Carmichael the GOAT.



Pest control down south

     Pest control down south

Austin Lee Westfall, a.k.a Chester Cheetah, is the fucktard of the week!  A close second was Byron, a fan of the show who stopped in to meet the crew.  Hi Rawdog, n Tully, and Mr. Ellis and holy shit who’s that?  Ah yes, Brockalina how could I forget.  Bryon will probably never forget today, but gotta give him credit as he took it like a fucking champ…and even made eye contact you creepy bastard.  So he got his little trip through the prize chamber to grab what he could and we all got to hear the wonderful stylings on Jizz Cult and his quiz on The South.  You just gotta go back and listen if you missed it, skip the moto dudes and jump straight to this.  From head cheese to carpet baggers, and lazy man loads to lube sandwiches, Tully just thought they all meant in the butt.  I mean really, doesn’t courting a coon’s ass sound like in the butt.  Or what does it mean to put goobers in your mouth, in the butt.  Pee-Wee Herman is the only person not born in the south apparently, which again in the butt just seems to be the right answer.  Did you know that Jizz Cult used to hunt gators n snapping turtles?  Anyways the winner was of course, Tully and his ‘in the butt’ strategy, go ahead champ!  I personally am going to adopt Tully’s strategy tonight and use the ‘in the butt’ strategy with your mom….and her mom, OH!




Show Re-cap For Tuesday 11/27/2012

Remember the first time you saw Cumtard? Of course you do.

It’s Tuesday and nobody really knows anyone until you see them flip the fuck out. Example: Tully punched a bed once. Actually, that’s slightly misleading as Tully confirmed he’s the kind of guy that would plot your death if he were mad enough. Rawdog cried when he broke up with his chick. But hey, Usher and Justin Timberlake have cried before too, so don’t be a mother motherfucker. Speaking of Ursher (as Ludacris likes to call him) he’s a shitty singer but a good dancer, at least that’s what we hear. But can Ursher dance if his goddamned life is on the line? Probably not, he’s gonna die. There might be a dance off between the guys, the gauntlet seems to have been thrown down so we’ll have to see what kind of thuggery comes from this. Ellis thinks he may have damaged his secondary dick vein, not the main vein, we’re talking about the taggling dummy on the right side. Let’s hope this doesn’t have an adverse effect on his dance moves, should the dance off take place. It’s been suggested that Cumtard, the reverse fag-hag, could sell his own greatest hits album full of farts, vomits, and shits – for the low, low, price of $1.99! But the real question is, can dude dance his ass off? According to Cumtard, the majority of girls at a metal show are swampy, fat, beach ball chicks, which sounds a lot like a Juggalette.

Hell to the yeah they are baby, and that’s why we love you failed Hollywood starlets.

I don’t know if Satan just visited the phone lines or what the fuck went on, but callers were totally out of their shit shellacked gashes just before first break today. Hollywood news time, that crazy kid from Two and a Half Men? He’s still insane, and the guy in his whack job video that sat next to him? He had a pistol jammed in that kid’s ribs the entire time. Actually, that’s probably not true, but it would’ve made for a way better story. Remember Anna Nicole Smith? Her 6-year-old daughter wants to be a Guess model. No word on if she’s preparing by doing bumps of Fun Dip. Brad Pitt is filming a new movie, so your wives, girlfriends, what have you can diddle their axe gashes to that. He dumped $1,100 dollars into a charity bucket on a whim, he also dropped a load in several hot bitches’ buckets – allegedly. Halle Berry, Matthew McConaughey, and Jared Leto – what do they all have in common? Gout. That’s not true either, Leto had gout, Berry had bad relationships, and McConaughey had his run, so lets move on. R. Kelly is illiterate and pees on underage girls – Red Dragons, and Dolly Parton entered a drag competition and lost to others who were dressed as her – ouch.

Never doubt yourself, if these shitheads can make an album, you can do something too! I don’t know about defying gravity like this dude, but still.

You ever surfed on a red wave? And I don’t mean “have you ever eaten a chicks gash while she was on her period” kind of red wave, I mean a real, salt water, ocean – that’s red though. Me neither. But you know what we’ve all done? NMT. Alicia Keys was up first with Nicki Minaj and that bitch will give you gash rash. Next up was someone whose name sounded like “nostrils” so I was expecting something completely different. 50 Cent was up next, I don’t know how the fuck Adam Levine worked his skinny gash into the mix, but I don’t think it ups his street cred at all. Roc Marciano was up next, he used to part of Flipmode Squad and I’m guessing he wishes he still was, because the track we heard sucked a red wave. Yes, that kind. I don’t remember the rest, there was some jazz and jazzcult, but no jizzcult. More gash news, some dude was married to this chick for 20 years, turns out that chick he was married to was born a man. BA-ZING! You just got gashed, son!

Fuck it, I’m outta here. This re-cap is complete.

Final calls, let’s see if they’re anywhere near as fucktarded as today’s earlier calls. I walked in on the last part of Rawdog doing some freestyle rap – unfortunately, I have no idea what that was about. Some dude called about his snooping ass girlfriend getting mad at him for watching porn and I think I heard something about her never masturbating before – which has to be pure bullshit. Quick question. Would you lose respect for Rob Dyrdek if you caught him masturbating eight guys in his backyard? Well, this is the type of shit you need to start thinking about! Back to final calls. People still just don’t get it. People keep completely dropping the ball here. I’m going to give you a helpful tip, honestly. If you get through and the music starts playing at the end of the show – take advantage of the shit by SPEAKING, FARTING, SINGING, ANYTHING! Seriously, it doesn’t matter, the airwaves are yours! Alright, now that we have PSA out of the way, let’s talk about that massive bump on your mother’s forehead and how it got there. When she was little, people used to hang her from a clothesline and spin her until she puked. That’s not what did it though. Turns out, stopping her from spinning by using a shovel is what gave her the bump and the mental capacity of a 7-year-old. OH!