Show Re-Cap for Monday 1/13/2014

clothes_off

No Golden Globes? No problem! Have this instead.

Welcome to the 2nd Monday recap of The Jason Ellis Show for 2014! It’s already been a big day for some of us, because we congratulated @emilyinSD on her non-existent pregnancy! Chicks love that kind of stuff. Ellis is like a transcendental meteor in the media, but he’s over himself now. Kinda sad breaking news right from the get go, which required the legendary voice work of Wilson to give the show a breaking kinda sad news button. But I digress, it’s kinda sad breaking news time – Ellis now has allergies. Here at No You Are, our thoughts a prayers go out to Ellis and his loved ones, EllisFam, kids from around the world (except the sickly ones you see on TV), and the inventor the burrito vending machine. Ellis rode his kids’ crazy carts this weekend, Tully played in a bouncy house, and what did you do? Adult stuff? Gheeeey! Catching balls is hard, and that’s why the NFL exists, because they make catching balls look like it’s just a sport or something, it’s amazing. Speaking of amazing, Dwight Howard went hard in the mutha-fuckin’ paint against a child, and sometimes children need that shit just so they remember that their parents might love them, but that don’t make them jack shit in big kid world. Then we touched on The Golden Globes. I do not recap about The Golden Globes, so moving on… Ellis saw a bunch of movies over the past two weekends, like a whole lot – even 12 Years a Slave, and a movie about an old guy and a boat.

wwe_cocaine

The only sport that needs less cocaine.

Pigeons, they’re everywhere, and the world of pigeon racing was recently rocked when competition homing pigeons testing positive for pain pills and cocaine. What are to tell our children when all their pigeon idols are hopped up on dope and appearing on boxes of Wheaties? This sounds like a job for the government, a group of trustworthy, unbiased minds really needs to get to the bottom of this. Guess what? It’s moto talk time, Cole Seely has been totally brain fucked, against his will, I think. Anyway, this reminded Tully of Chuck Knoblauch (knob lock) and he was in a mind fuck kind of state when he couldn’t throw a baseball for awhile. Knoblauch. He’s got the lock on the knob. Tickle time, Broc Tickle got 8th, which is in the top 10, but not the top 4, or 3, or 2. Chad Reed got Tickle timed because he came in 9th, and you just know that’s gotta put Reed in a mind fuck situation, but he’s a god damned champion and knows how to unfuck his mind. And with that, a final closing thought on sports. Cocaine needs to come back into sports, the proof is in the booger sugar pudding, it would make things so much more exciting. And how can you talk cocaine and not bring up the subject of titties? Sorry Aubrey, that’s the best segue I could muster at the time. No, we’re not talking about Aubrey Marcus’ titties, I guess we’re not talking about his girlfriend’s titties either. Yeah. We’re not talking about titties at all actually. We’re talking about a video of Whitney Miller preparing for combat and crying after she got choked out, it’s inspirational and you should watch it.

oh_im_supposed_to_clap_now

Remember when you were a kid and weren’t sure how to act?

This brought us into Tyler Posey. Who? Yes, THE Tyler Posey. But who is that? I don’t know, but apparently he smells terrific. Turns out he’s on an MTV show, Teen Wolf, and he wants to start a podcast to entertain people. I’ll have to admit, he sounds like a good kid, even though he doesn’t want to be part of the “teen” crowd any longer. He’s been disillusioned with Hollywood fame and doesn’t like how a lot of the actors / actresses are so pretentious, how they feel the world owes them something, etc. He’s thankful for what he’s got, the opportunities that he’s had, but he has aspirations to get tattoos and do radio – he wants to be Ellis. He wants to take over Rawdog’s spot, not only on the show, but in Death! Death! Die! as well. He was given the test a lot of celebrities get when they say they’re a huge fan of the show. Tully asked him, “We forgot to mention something we normally mention at the 2 o’clock hour, do you know what that is?” His answer, “Is it break time?” Ahhh, the laughs we shared. While he seems like a good kid, he is just that, a kid – as we all were once. He stuck around for the remainder of the show as Tully presented “Fill In The Blank News” to everyone. The rest of the show was spent talking to and about Tyler, the things he wants to do, who he wants to be when he grows up, the things he’s done, the inappropriate songs tween girls have sung to him, and his future possibilities. At one point, it sort of felt like you were listening to a podcast about a star on Nickelodeon, but whatever. It was better than hearing some dumb porn bimbo not have an opinion on anything other than the optimal place they would prefer to take a man’s load and then giggle with the most amazingly annoying voice you could imagine. While I wasn’t sure how in the blue fuck Tyler would be picked as a guest, once they started bantering ideas back and forth about a collaboration, I then understood. Ellis might see this as a chance to reach out to a demographic that he’s not currently known for hitting. I get it. It’s like the reason there is no black character in the game Clue, otherwise it just be called Solved. OH!

oh_you_find_me_offensive

Oh, you find my jokes offensive?

Show Re-Cap for Monday 7/22/2013

Welcome to Monday’s re-cap of TJES! First, a bit of sad news, actor Dennis Farina died at the age of 69 today. And fuck no, he wasn’t most famous for Law & Order. One of my personal favorite lines of his, was when he played Cousin Avi in the movie Snatch, he said:

“Blagged”? Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

rawdog_lost_tripping

A festival full of hipsters & neckbeards? Let’s go!

That’s just awesome, and completely true. Anyways, Dingo is here today, back from Jamaica. Rawdog has returned safely. Tully is there, his evil child has let him live to see another day. Of course Ellis is there. Ellis was thinking about heaven the other day, he assumes you can fly and eat cakes, but you won’t get fat because that would make you un-happy. And do fat people become healthy and skinny in heaven? Rawdog caught some shit for all his Instagrams over the weekend, from his trip to Chicago to go to a music festival, by himself. First he doesn’t post enough, then he posts too much, the guy just can’t win. He didn’t make any new friends, but he did try talking to a few chicks and got blown off. However, he did manage to get a large neckbeard that flipped him off. Dingo thinks Rawdog’s girlfriend gets fucked by 15 different dudes a day, but that’s because he doesn’t pay attention to shit. Will posted an Instagram over the weekend as well that ended up spawning a debate if they should fix the squeaky studio door or not.

random_shopping_carts

Fuck Jamaica, you wanna see some crime? Visit East St. Louis.

Dingo got robbed in Jamaica and he says the begging there is probably worse than in Mexico. He tried to tell more stories about Jamaica and a documentary and Snoop Dogg or something, but he can’t tell a logical story to save his paper bag in a contest. I think that’s how the saying goes, right? He also watched the life go out of a goat’s eyes just before he ate that motherfucker, probably not with a nice bottle of chianti though because let’s face it, he’s not very well refined. Dude doesn’t even know Sandy the Squirrel is a squirrel instead of a beaver. Tully wants to hear an animal scream and then eat it. He says it’s because he wants to make sure he’s okay with eating meat, but we all know he’s harboring a murderous rage inside. This brought us back into heaven conversation, whores, virgins, fucking, sucking, snorting, shooting, and the holiest of holes that you may or may not get to fuck senseless during your stay in club heaven.

erotic_literature

Ah, British porn is so fucking hot.

The prince and princess has had their royal baby. That’s right. The whole world has been royally waiting to see what comes out of one woman’s royal vagina. Turns out, it wasn’t an assortment of collectibles and trinkets stolen from Buckingham Palace. Does Obama call Jay-Z his n-bomb? I don’t know how the fuck that or Downzig snuck into the conversation, but they did. This took us into Game of Thrones and I don’t give a royal rat’s ass if there are dragons in that show, I ain’t gonna watch it. A shit ton of convicts, including senior members of al Qaeda who had already been sentenced to death, have broken out of Iraq’s Abu Ghraib jail. So, that’s not good and my ass is guessing that some shit is about to start popping off like a motherfucker. In super gross news, Geraldo Rivera posted a nude selfie to Twitter, saying that 70 is the new 50. He later deleted the photo (don’t worry, it’s in the linked article if you wanna see old ass wang stem) and said note to self, no more posting after 1 AM – which means he was probably poppin’ blue pills and ready for a mean jerk off session. In moto news, Dungey, Villopoto, Reed, Grant, Alessi, and Tickle – bike yeah.

metal_piper

Way more metal than Metallica, it’s the metal piper!

Ellistronic TV started today with Dingo, Katie, and Ellis. It’ll be 3 days a week or less or maybe more or it might go bankrupt, who knows. You can watch it on EllisMania.com and apparently Ellis revealed an uncomfortable story that he’s never said before except to Tully for his 2nd book. Metallica put out another trailer for their new movie while they were at Comic Con, doesn’t that sound like the most metal thing you could ever read? People in New York are paying $400 an hour for consultants to teach their kids how to play with other children. Nick was on the horn, he’s part of the Patriot Guard Riders, the motorcycle enthusiasts created to oppose the WBC and help fend off those vultures from disrespecting the funeral rights of fallen US military personnel. He basically just clarified what exactly the Patriot Guard Riders stand for, what they do, and how they do it.

no_god_no

Right or wrong, it’s time to learn some history and shit.

Then it was time to test everyone’s knowledge of history. Such as the Great Pyramids. How were they built? With the latest in fat chick technology. Why were they built? Because there was no fucking TV back then, life was boring. Now, what about the Cold War? That shit was between America and Russia and it was not about heating coal. It started between Yuri Slobberdickovich and Mike Smith, from Russia and America, respectively. It was basically a big No You Are contest and it ended with Rocky Balboa and Ivan Drago. If Rocky can change, and Ivan can change, and Apollo dies, everyone can change! Who was Vlad the Impaler? He invented a muscle car and after dismal sales, Ice Cube told him, “Look homey, you change that name and it’ll sell like that crackrock on them streets.” And that bit of advice gave us the Chevy Impala. The American Revolutionary War was not between The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, but rather it was between America and Britain and dental hygiene. Clearly, we won what that one as well. Pocahontas was the first hot olive skinned chick that the first white man had ever boned, creating an entire group of hot ass models that do cocaine and fuck like only chicks with daddy issues could.

not_now

Batman is getting real tired of your shit.

This led us into more talk about Alessi and all the moto shit with shining lasers in opponents eyes and all that good stuff. That, then, put us into final call territory. But we also got a few other gems, like why hasn’t anyone shot Batman in the face? Then the argument of who wins in a fist fight, Batman or Spiderman? What about Superman? What about having sex with all three of them? And what about a fuck, marry, kill scenario between those three? It seems the consensus is to kill Spiderman, marry Batman because he’s rich as fuck and you could go to some kick ass places / parties, and then fuck Superman because you’ll be flying around having the most glorious sexual experiences in your life. Speaking of Batman / Bruce Wayne. Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t know where home is. :( And why do orphans play tennis? Because it’s the only time they get love. OH!

Best of Re-Cap for Friday 3/22/2013

Well hello boys n girls. Its your uncle Ghostload speaking, and if you can read this, dude get a fucking life.  Speaking of getting a life, your mom is and old school tool from before I could drool.  Bitch be so dumb, sticks n stones be insulting her, OH!  Nah but seriously, we here at the No You Are clinic do care a great deal about your mom…’s snatch and ass hole, plus she could suck the rust of an ’83 El Camino that’s been in the back yard since ’84, cause she did!  Well I don’t know about you, but I personally have a strong interest in your mom, I mean besides the fact bitch better have my money, she’s also your mom, and I like you!  I was doing a little research into your mom, no not “In to” your mom, not this time – No I mean real research and I noticed a bit of a downward spiral in her life since we first commented on her back in  January of 2012.  Hell just think that was just over a year ago, and to think where she is now, in fact if you know where she is, hit me on twitter @wiz1010 cause like I said, Bitch Better Have My Money!  Anyways, here’s a month by month breakdown on just how far the bitch, i mean your mom the bitch, has fallen – Enjoy……….

 

Monday, January 23, 2012 As I mentioned above, this is the first time your mom was mentioned, and at her height I might add, hob slob-knobbing with former Passenger 57 mega-super-broke-star what’s his name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012 If we were charting this in graph format, not only would we be a bunch of fucking nerds, but the curve would be on the upward.  Today may be the greatest day of your mom’s life.  Today is not only Chad Reed day, well really yeah its just Chad Reed day!

Probably Your Mom's Best Feature - Her Lovely Hair

Probably Your Mom’s Best Feature – Her Lovely Hair

Friday, March 16, 2012 Ah yes, your mom is still fresh on the scene, appearing with none other than Die Antwoord cause yes, I fink your mom freaky!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012 Ok, so remember the graph, yeah were on the “downward slope” as they call it, well they also call it that cause when you go in your mom’s vage you immediately fall downward into the pussy, hence the term!  Anyways today was the gruesome story of the day your mom started hooking, shocking but true!

Ain’t she a beauty! Though I admit I like her hair longer.

Wednesday, March 30, 2012 Ok now she’s just a fucking bitch, I mean using the SiriusXM phone app is hard enough with it fucking sucking balls n all, but now we find out the truth about the Sirius phone app and your mom – stupid cunt whore oh and your mom is a moronic jizz cunt!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012 John in Houston, we have lift off!  Your mom and the extinction of big foot?  You’d better start keeping your eyes out and your cocks covered from here on out kids!

Look at those tig ol bitties right there boy! DAMN!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 Now your mom hates the gays.  Today, sadly enough was the day we had “The bet between evil Chick-fil-a and your even more eviler mom” dun dun dun!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2012 Now look, I’m not a fan of beating up your mom.  Its only cause she’s into the shit really that I do it.  I’d rather drop a deuce on her chest, return serve, and fucking roll the fuck out aids free!  But to be fair, here is a reminder of what she used to be just a few months ago and probably my favorite, this is where Christopher Walken got his style from.

Ok so the gunt can kinda get in the way – I just hit it from the back!

Friday, September 21, 2012 Now I know this one’s kinda confusing, you hear “Bit’s amazing day with your mom” and you think shit’s sweet right.  Dude it’s fucking bit with your mom, shit ain’t that sweet right about now homie.  The good news though, this one’s got some really sweet fucking pics, of batman and the joker crush’n’grooven and your mom (See the last one)

Wednesday, October 31, 2012  Well, well, well.  It’s like I caught you in the cookie jar, pun intended!  By now in the month by month recap of your mom’s past year or so, she’s just flat out of control, I mean all of #EllisFam?

See, much better....well not better, lesser of two evils really.

See, much better….well not better, lesser of two evils really. Oh and thats the self-portrait tattoo AZ_RedDragon gave her with his load and a match, not bad bro!

Monday, November 26, 2012 Well if you fuck all of Ellis Fam, then who’s left?  Yeah we saw it coming just sad it happened during the holidays. Things are really getting bad for your mom when turning tricks ain’t even cutting it no mo’.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012 It’s cold, money’s tight, and we at No You Are don’t fucking care about your mom.  Sure we could buy her dinner, or maybe hold her hand, but nah! Now we just fuck her for sport……as if we ever didn’t.  Some things never change!

This is her vagina.  I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview....this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

This is her vagina. I remember this guy, we found him in there one day after shoving bottles of 151 in there after hearing the Slash interview….this guy was fucking drunk of his balls!

Thursday, January 24, 2013 Ok this is one of those pivotal points in your mom’s life, well kinda the opposite as she’s lost all ability to pivot on your dick anymore which made her one of the nation’s top 5,000 hookers in the  40 and above division.  Now its just a matter of survival when fucking your mom, thanks to Rawdog though maybe we can make it out alive!

Friday, February 22, 2013 OK, that it, I’m never fucking that bitch again…Cumtard‘s fucking her.  Ghostload out!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub.  FUCK THAT!

I do usually leave when she asks for a foot rub. FUCK THAT!

 

 

Show Re-cap For Friday 2/22/2013

The man

The man, the myth, the Reed!

Happy margarita Chad Reed Day mother fuckers! Today is the day when we honor motocross champion Chad Reed. Chad Mark Reed was born 15 March 1982, in Kurri Kurri, Australia. He is a multi-time supercross and motocross champion, he was taught from a young age as being capable of competing at the sports most elite level. He has proven to be the most consistent supercross/motocross racer in the world. He has since ascended the international ranks of the sport to become Australia’s most successful motocross racer. He also has had sex numerous times with yer mum, and yer sister, and of he wanted to, he could fuck yer dad as well. Enough about Chad Reed, here’s a little news about you and how much you suck. Americans get the least days off or vacation than anyone in the world. That sucks until you realize that were not drinking out of a river and eating cow shit for dinner, those people would love to have a job. The guys read some Chad reed poems and as one would suspect, most of the listeners would like to have gay sex with Chad Reed, the ones that don’t are women and then it’s just regular sex. My favorite Chad Reed story is how this moto dude took a picture with Sir Reed and grabbed his junk and gently whispered in his ear, “this is only awkward if you make it awkward.”

A man in stress ball packing plant punched his boss and threatened his coworkers with a knife because no matter what you’re packing, work sucks. This brought on the topic of Josh’s stressful life and how difficult and exhausting it is constantly hunting for large

Women's sports have never looked better!

Women’s sports have never looked better!

areolas. In MMA news, there were a few fights the other day and King Mo got knocked out because he was being cocky and left his hands down, and Finkelstien won but during his celebratory romp he fell down. I would have a video of that for you but I can’t find it so here’s something else. Women in sports is okay if they can support their own, but not if they are swinging off the dicks of man sports. Rob Coddry came back into in studio today and he has six movies coming out this year! Mother fucker has been busy. It is now expected that all celebrity guests get measured on their punching power but before punching Rob warmed up with hurtful childhood insults, and after that they shared bad heroin memories. Somehow the conversation turned to Halle Berry, Halle Berry’s boobs, breast feeding, yer mums boobs, then yer mum boob feeding you at 13 with a raging boner. Oh yeah, Rob punch 58 after knocking over josh. Rob talked about when he worked with The Rock he never saw him or hung out or compared bicep measurements. Ellis thinks he can out box him but then he thought he can’t. Rob left us with a little advise, take vacations more often and try new drugs, enjoy your life and what you work for, but don’t trip too hard because that shit sucks!coolshit

There was a dead body in water tank at hotel, unfortunately it wasn’t Paris Hilton, it was just some runaway. Boring. Jared Fogle of subway apparently has some epic tweets and you should follow him immediately (@thejaredfogel). The boys then graced us with Chad Reed songs, including Will with his classic hit, Chad Reed. Phoenix Askani was also in the studio today after running here after getting a good railing on a staircase, thats right folks, she’s a porn star, so here is the summary of her interview. Bla bla bla sex bla bla bla porn bla bla bla lesbians bla bla bla follow me on twitter bla bla bla dicks. Then she also did the punch test and got a 44. I’m not sure where that ranks but who cares, I’m sure there will be a chart or graph or something later that we can all look at. Then Jason and Kevin did a vegemiteVegemite eating contest and Ellis won, surprise surprise. However Kevin had the best line of the day when he said it tasted like soy sauce and despair. There were a few final calls and then they did Cumtard’s love connection with Phoenix while he had to eat a stick of butter. Unfortunately he failed miserably. Somewhere between the comic book talk and consistent vomiting he couldn’t seem to pull his game together. This pissed off Josh and Will because she basically laid herself in Kevin’s hands. Then Rawdog tried, he fucked her. Then Kevin had a chance again but Rawdog cock blocked him and then fucked her again. Unfortunately Kevin did hot a home run with yer mum, turns out the consistent vomiting and butter breath was irresistible to her, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 2/14/2013

Today’s Valentines Day Show recap is for the ladies, so Happy VD from Ghostload ladies!  Oh, and now a Happy VD to the fellas too, #FullHomo.  Speaking of Full Homo, Tully took Linsanity to some museum and Ellis is working super dad hard on new approaches to his kids.  All sounding good to me, and to Ellis too who gave himself some more HTFU advice and is rolling on, Brother!  Ellis really does believe the show will have a REAL producer soon, and that THC should call him every night and threatening him.  Sounds kinda cool, but not as cool as Chad Reed Day a week from 22-morrow.  Doing Stuff With Rawdog with a VD twist, how do you propose to your hopeful wife to be, tonight?  Now we all know that you gotta hear Rawdog to understand him, but basically you need a boat small yacht, a life guard on stand by, a walkie talkie, and you better prey its not cloudy tonight.   Or you could just bring your own Minora to dinner and do it over candleslight.  For real for real, he’d just have the Domino’s dude bring it in a box of those tasty fucking chocolate dunkers they got.  Tully threw in his 2 cents, just do it like a magician, except the ring is the quarter……..and her ear is her pussy!

 

I Love You Too!

I Love You Too!

 

So this gay dude said he ain’t got the gay no more on account that he was saved by Jesus, at a bar, but turns out he still kinda got a little gay still.  Fuck Yeah – Ellis got the new punching machine and it is time to try it out.  Some callers got to take bets on who would beat who, but only the upsets of course and for cash n prizes.  Basically each took someone against Ellis, but if they lost…well we can get to that later.  For those playing at home Tully lays the odds as (From 1st to last) Ellis, Jizz Cult, himself and Cumtard even, and Rawdog last.  He’s from Oxford, so lets go with that and see what happens.  3 punches each and use only your highest single score.  Oh and Ellis’s little girl got a 55 on this thing, which I think scores from 0-100.  Cumtard up first with some Street Fighter shit, and topped out at only a 40!   Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult got a 50.  Super Dad up next and Tully got a respectable 60 to at least beat Snookie.  Rawdog banged out a 46 which was pretty good considering.  The intern snuck in to grab a 54, almost buddy!  How about Ellismate, a 58 – no shit Tully knocked out Ellis, on radio.  That or this machine ain’t the accurate, maybe but unlikely I think!   Oh yeah, a few dudes got to the Prize Chamber, but on Ellismania.com coming soon….dude licking his dog’s ass….dude to fart on his girlfriend…..and look for Robert who has to smoke a microwaved load joint – yup!

 

 

Now this dude is ready to play Dick Baseball

Now this dude is ready to play Dick Baseball

Britney Markham is in the house you bitches.  Transsexual porn star, bitch, and she fought in a prior Ellis Mania event bitch, she’s the bitch who puked in the bucket in the ring, Red Dragons bitches!  Allegedly some of that vomit got on Carmen Electra, who was in the front row bitch, and she ain’t been back since bitch.  Ok I’m done with the bitch thing, but you get the idea she’s expressive!  What’s Britney got going on?  Just got back from Columbia where she got some ass injections, oh  and she’s got a book like sometime this year.  She’s got a charity going on, The Britney Markham Foundation.  She pissed into a glass on the limo ride to TJES, had and has ball cancer, and may be a little racist.  So what do we do with a tranny of this caliber, play a game – Dick Baseball.  Yeah, they did.  4 boxes set up, each further away in distance.  The farther away the more points and the higher the prize, for the caller.  Oh but there’s a twist my friends, the caller can trade their prize for Cumtard being shock collared and having to catch the balls in his mouth, from the trannies dick.  Ready – Play Ball!   Yeah so baseball is a bit boring, how about it was kinda cool, one dude got a sticker, and pretty quickly it was just Cumtard trying to catch ping pong balls while Tully n Josh took turns pitching to the tranny batter with a huge stick.  Fucking hilarity if you can go back, or catch it on a best of I’m sure.  Cumtard only got the balls on his chin and nose, but never into his mouth, and he got the shit shocked out of him.

 

Best I Could Find On 'Shitting Metal'

Best I Could Find On ‘Shitting Metal’

Some dude bought some bread with shards of glass in it, and we all know that Shitting Glass Is Metal!!!!   So Britney has this friend with her, Paula, who’s telling us all about this bad ass new workout called SeXercise.  She took a moment to show Rawdog the ‘Vine’, where your chic is on the floor doggy, you come in from above and behind, and she wraps a leg around you and resembles a vine = Fucking Genius!  Just one bit of advice I took from the show today, while you do wanna tell your lady about this, please wait til tomorrow dumb ass.  Curious about the Britney Markham diet?  McDonald’s, Xanax, Shit, Anal Douche and repeat.  You Sir Lady Are A Moron.  You know the game, and hopefully you heard it cause my weed dealer stopped by and I had to pause that shit, and you know the fucking Sirius App sucks balls so I finally tune back in to hear the age old question of life – Would you rather live in 40 or 100 degree weather year round?  Answer:  “No One’s Titties Are Out When It’s 40 Degrees Dude” -Jason Ellis. Let’s see, cursive is gay, porn is worse than violence for your kids, Britney can shoot a 12 foot load and obviously give herself a facial, Sear’s beats National Geo for spank material.  Then shit got heavy, would and how often would you blow yourself if you could?  Britney can, bitches!  Ellis verse Tully on this one with Rawdog deep in thought and all we got out of it was a sweet button from Will – Yeah Will!  Stamp Collecting and Dungeons and Dragons are equally gay, but one could lead to a fortune so fuck off.  And Corey Taylor has a book out about possessions n his life n stuff, fucking cool right.  Before Britney could leave she had to do one last thing, punch the machine. She got a 46 which tied Rawdog and that just pissed her off to no end, so good luck with that bitches.

 

What I’ll Be Doing To Your Grandmama’s Box Later Tonight!

 

Hollywood News be Ballin’!  Yeah Jim Jones got arrested for Ballin’ to muthafucking hard, and another time for having snow on his side walk, really.  By now I’m sure you’ve heard about the former no legged Olympian dude that shot his girlfriend, if not here.   Chubby Checker is suing HP over some app that determines your dick size from your show size.  My gut says the majority of you searched for the app rather than reading the story, and if you did read it, it was only to hear more about the app.  Why is Drew Barrymore removing her tattoos – cause she was to be buried in a jew box n live happily ever after in jewternity.  Nicki Minaj sucks.  Ke$ha is fucking hot and apparently this documentary of her says she’s just like ol’ Uncle Ellismate boys n girls.  Well with the piss drinking and shark stuff, fucking Ellis Bob’s your uncle!  James Franco will be unveiling Gay Town at some art festival.  Death! Death! Die! have announced no plans of such said song, yet.  Lady Gaga cancelled her tour cause she tour her labrum, fucking pussy I may have broken my thumb and I ain’t let the fans down on a gnarly TJES recap, bitches Ballin’!  MMA News about NY almost getting their shit together – STD News about whats in store for later tonight.  Some lady called in, I think she was trying to get Ellis to bang her and her husband.  Oh, and Rawdog reviewed some art or some shit.  Not really sure cause I couldn’t wait to break out today’s score and kinda don’t remember much.  All I know, by the time I post this I will be ‘Vining’ your grandma if the bitch can lift her leg that high – Happy VD grandma, OH!