Today’s Valentines Day Show recap is for the ladies, so Happy VD from Ghostload ladies! Oh, and now a Happy VD to the fellas too, #FullHomo. Speaking of Full Homo, Tully took Linsanity to some museum and Ellis is working super dad hard on new approaches to his kids. All sounding good to me, and to Ellis too who gave himself some more HTFU advice and is rolling on, Brother! Ellis really does believe the show will have a REAL producer soon, and that THC should call him every night and threatening him. Sounds kinda cool, but not as cool as Chad Reed Day a week from 22-morrow. Doing Stuff With Rawdog with a VD twist, how do you propose to your hopeful wife to be, tonight? Now we all know that you gotta hear Rawdog to understand him, but basically you need a
boat small yacht, a life guard on stand by, a walkie talkie, and you better prey its not cloudy tonight. Or you could just bring your own Minora to dinner and do it over candleslight. For real for real, he’d just have the Domino’s dude bring it in a box of those tasty fucking chocolate dunkers they got. Tully threw in his 2 cents, just do it like a magician, except the ring is the quarter……..and her ear is her pussy!
So this gay dude said he ain’t got the gay no more on account that he was saved by Jesus, at a bar, but turns out he still kinda got a little gay still. Fuck Yeah – Ellis got the new punching machine and it is time to try it out. Some callers got to take bets on who would beat who, but only the upsets of course and for cash n prizes. Basically each took someone against Ellis, but if they lost…well we can get to that later. For those playing at home Tully lays the odds as (From 1st to last) Ellis, Jizz Cult, himself and Cumtard even, and Rawdog last. He’s from Oxford, so lets go with that and see what happens. 3 punches each and use only your highest single score. Oh and Ellis’s little girl got a 55 on this thing, which I think scores from 0-100. Cumtard up first with some Street Fighter shit, and topped out at only a 40! Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult, Jizz Cult got a 50. Super Dad up next and Tully got a respectable 60 to at least beat Snookie. Rawdog banged out a 46 which was pretty good considering. The intern snuck in to grab a 54, almost buddy! How about Ellismate, a 58 – no shit Tully knocked out Ellis, on radio. That or this machine ain’t the accurate, maybe but unlikely I think! Oh yeah, a few dudes got to the Prize Chamber, but on Ellismania.com coming soon….dude licking his dog’s ass….dude to fart on his girlfriend…..and look for Robert who has to smoke a microwaved load joint – yup!
Britney Markham is in the house you bitches. Transsexual porn star, bitch, and she fought in a prior Ellis Mania event bitch, she’s the bitch who puked in the bucket in the ring, Red Dragons bitches! Allegedly some of that vomit got on Carmen Electra, who was in the front row bitch, and she ain’t been back since bitch. Ok I’m done with the bitch thing, but you get the idea she’s expressive! What’s Britney got going on? Just got back from Columbia where she got some ass injections, oh and she’s got a book like sometime this year. She’s got a charity going on, The Britney Markham Foundation. She pissed into a glass on the limo ride to TJES, had and has ball cancer, and may be a little racist. So what do we do with a tranny of this caliber, play a game – Dick Baseball. Yeah, they did. 4 boxes set up, each further away in distance. The farther away the more points and the higher the prize, for the caller. Oh but there’s a twist my friends, the caller can trade their prize for Cumtard being shock collared and having to catch the balls in his mouth, from the trannies dick. Ready – Play Ball! Yeah so baseball is a bit boring, how about it was kinda cool, one dude got a sticker, and pretty quickly it was just Cumtard trying to catch ping pong balls while Tully n Josh took turns pitching to the tranny batter with a huge stick. Fucking hilarity if you can go back, or catch it on a best of I’m sure. Cumtard only got the balls on his chin and nose, but never into his mouth, and he got the shit shocked out of him.
Some dude bought some bread with shards of glass in it, and we all know that Shitting Glass Is Metal!!!! So Britney has this friend with her, Paula, who’s telling us all about this bad ass new workout called SeXercise. She took a moment to show Rawdog the ‘Vine’, where your chic is on the floor doggy, you come in from above and behind, and she wraps a leg around you and resembles a vine = Fucking Genius! Just one bit of advice I took from the show today, while you do wanna tell your lady about this, please wait til tomorrow dumb ass. Curious about the Britney Markham diet? McDonald’s, Xanax, Shit, Anal Douche and repeat. You
Sir Lady Are A Moron. You know the game, and hopefully you heard it cause my weed dealer stopped by and I had to pause that shit, and you know the fucking Sirius App sucks balls so I finally tune back in to hear the age old question of life – Would you rather live in 40 or 100 degree weather year round? Answer: “No One’s Titties Are Out When It’s 40 Degrees Dude” -Jason Ellis. Let’s see, cursive is gay, porn is worse than violence for your kids, Britney can shoot a 12 foot load and obviously give herself a facial, Sear’s beats National Geo for spank material. Then shit got heavy, would and how often would you blow yourself if you could? Britney can, bitches! Ellis verse Tully on this one with Rawdog deep in thought and all we got out of it was a sweet button from Will – Yeah Will! Stamp Collecting and Dungeons and Dragons are equally gay, but one could lead to a fortune so fuck off. And Corey Taylor has a book out about possessions n his life n stuff, fucking cool right. Before Britney could leave she had to do one last thing, punch the machine. She got a 46 which tied Rawdog and that just pissed her off to no end, so good luck with that bitches.
Hollywood News be Ballin’! Yeah Jim Jones got arrested for Ballin’ to muthafucking hard, and another time for having snow on his side walk, really. By now I’m sure you’ve heard about the former no legged Olympian dude that shot his girlfriend, if not here. Chubby Checker is suing HP over some app that determines your dick size from your show size. My gut says the majority of you searched for the app rather than reading the story, and if you did read it, it was only to hear more about the app. Why is Drew Barrymore removing her tattoos – cause she was to be buried in a jew box n live happily ever after in jewternity. Nicki Minaj sucks. Ke$ha is fucking hot and apparently this documentary of her says she’s just like ol’ Uncle Ellismate boys n girls. Well with the piss drinking and shark stuff, fucking
Ellis Bob’s your uncle! James Franco will be unveiling Gay Town at some art festival. Death! Death! Die! have announced no plans of such said song, yet. Lady Gaga cancelled her tour cause she tour her labrum, fucking pussy I may have broken my thumb and I ain’t let the fans down on a gnarly TJES recap, bitches Ballin’! MMA News about NY almost getting their shit together – STD News about whats in store for later tonight. Some lady called in, I think she was trying to get Ellis to bang her and her husband. Oh, and Rawdog reviewed some art or some shit. Not really sure cause I couldn’t wait to break out today’s score and kinda don’t remember much. All I know, by the time I post this I will be ‘Vining’ your grandma if the bitch can lift her leg that high – Happy VD grandma, OH!