Can you dig it? can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT? No, but I can write it. Hey, word of advise when starting something, don’t blow your intro load too soon. That can fuck up your whole game and you can end up failing like a failing failure. For example, Chevy Chase, he has played the dick, the loser, and an ass. I don’t know how that’s an example but here’s another example of something non related. 80’s movies that don’t hold up. But not haggard! That shit is timeless, according to Ellis. Anthony Kiedis and Rick Ruben both cried over a bunch of kids crying over Justin Beiber in Justin’s movie. And if you want to see something else that won’t require a walk down the feminine hygiene isle you should see Romper Stomper. Turns out that Tully’s wife can fix stuff and he can’t, please insert Asian joke accordingly. Someone emailed the show with a movie idea that might actually be feasible a helicopter crash mock-u-mentry based on the survival instincts of the guys. Basically it would be the guys wandering around the desert while snacking on Donald Schultz. Ellis rediscovered that working out with music is way better than doing it without so now he is pumping iron to some head splitting rock like Fiona Apple.
DMX was arrested again for driving without a license, again. But this time we have a video clip of him describing incident. Katie is now rocking the web cam scene earning her keep fro Big Daddy Jace Cakes, her user name is UnderwearWolf, so I’m told. Some Fan Fiction was sent in by Tim and it was read by Tully, Kevin, and intern Will. There was a strange twist at the end and the rest of it was something that I’m still trying to dislodge from my mind. Well done. Unsigned Farts again today, they were mostly crappy, fuck the pun, but the last two were remixes and rather entertaining. Mayhem joined the guys in studio for farts and so much more. The topic soon turned to flying cars with Mayhem and Rawdog and how cool it would be never mind the thought that Rawdog AND Mayhem would be flying them too. Flying moto was also mentioned and quickly turned into an Ellis vs Josh and Mayhem fight. Seems Josh and Jason don’t understand that if the kikes can fly then the jumps would just be nothing and it would suck balls and nobody would care. This fight was diffused by caller who reminded us about Rawdog’s “Pantera like” song. The only thing would make this Panters like is if Dimebag played the keytar and all the rest of the band were Muppets with somebody’s hand up their ass. Rawdog’s new girl now his old girl as he now continues his quest to throw some digits in some bitches all over SoCal.
Upon return the guys brought back an original favorite, Monkey Business! News about monkeys and the crazy evil shit they do. Some cruise in the Gulf of Mexico got stranded and all the toilets got backed up from the people too stuck up or stupid to hang their fish feeder off the side now labeling this as the Shit Cruise, creative name, I know. Corey Taylor of Stone Sour and Slipknot and every other fucking band in music was in studio today talking about all his bands, him not drinking because he wasn’t very productive and now being too productive. Mayhem brought up getting butt fisted while stage diving, and Corey shared a Lemmy stories about a joke about fisting grandmas ass. Slipknot cereal almost existed, and Jason played Corey the Slipknot Cereal that the Jingleberries made and now Corey wants to put it on his Facebook page, that’s fucking metal!
They came back with Unsigned Bands with special guest, Corey Taylor. Here’s what i got:
Two Weeks, sucked
No Class Assasins, sucked again
Jeremiah’s Kind, bad, just simply bad
Funk-tion, not funky not tion but not the worst
The Honey Shakers, this better be a homeless dude on the subway
Everybody Run, mayhem liked it for what it’s worth
Texas City Bombers, recorded on a tape recorded in a garage while the street is being demolished, I liked it on a comedy level
Seven Dirty Words, not bad, didn’t make my ears hurt
Haunted By Heros, supposed to be 12 year olds but everyone is calling bullshit
I’m not sure who the last band was but Corey sang and made it a hit, but the band probably sucked anyway, they should just get this audio on loop and jack off in a corner because that’s the best that they will ever be
Check out Corey Taylor in a city near you, unless your some hillbilly that lives in the middle of butt fuck Egypt then your just screwed.
We returned with Ellis complaining about “an explosion of female phone drama.” I’m sure we will find out whats going on in the near future. This led into Cock News where we learned about a red white and blue slug that has disposable penises, Murica, Fuck Yeah! Oh, and Steve Martin is having a baby, congratulations to his old and saggy balls. Then there was Final Calls where a dude called about his dead parents because they were as old as shit when he was born and he was cool with it and possibly normal. Can Ellis and mayhem kill dude with a knife or sword? Fuck yeah they can, all Kung-fu like and shit. Then we were briefly gifted with Mayhem’s view on wrestling being banned from the Olympics, he thinks it’s bullshit. Burbank Dave is getting extra creepy on web cam, no surprise We enjoyed deep thoughts with Steve, the former bomb tech, and Dip, the truck driver. And finally the boys got a few Bless Your Hearts to Tim or Tom, the previous caller, Mayhem, Wills ass, Cumtard, Rawdog, Tully, and Ellis’s head tattoo. Unfortunately the caller got cut off before he could bless yer Mum, because he so does love slappin that back fat as he rides the cellulite carriage to smash town, OH!