Tag Archives: Bryan Cullen

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 9/11/2012

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Go Cullen, go Cullen, it’s yo birfday

It’s a NYC Tuesday! Let’s first get the 9/11 date out of the way. While your hearts may be feeling heavy today, your hearts should also be filled with pride. On that day, you watched ordinary people turn into heros, and you also saw most of the world standing behind the USA. Crazy man, crazy shit. Okay, let’s move on, @Cullensaidthis turned 36 today, so happy birthday to the Backbone of Faction and half of the @Jingleberries! Tully came in with yet another spot on observation, Rawdog looks like the Notre Dame logo when he’s fighting – that old-timey, fisticuffs style. And a caller actually had an observation as well, he looks like Sex Machine when he turns into a vampire, from the movie From Dusk Till Dawn.

Girls when they see Will in action.

Pendarvis was helpful to a couple chicks that were on the radio, he parked their car for them and now he might be getting some poon for his kindness. However, instead of going out with some chicks, he took Cullen out for a steak dinner – no word on if he got to first base or not. But Will did get an opportunity to make some poor waitress nervous, but I assume he didn’t get to take it to the next level where he follows her home in his car and flashing his lights. Jude is in NYC as well, so he stopped by the show today and apparently lookin’ and smellin’ all good & shit for the fellas. Why do fat people have black necks and bad breath? Diabetes, that’s why.

When Rawdog appeared with his shirt off.

Lance Bass of N’Sync fame was on the show today, I’m not real sure why, but hey – there he was. He’s getting into radio and guys’ butts. HEYOH! Actually, he seems like a pretty cool dude and his appearance on the show went well. Right after that, another surprise guest stopped by the show today, Robb Flynn of Machine Head. He’s into wake boarding and sweet licks. Just like Lance, he seems like a cool dude and his appearance on the show went well too. The world renowned Tony Hawk made a short stop on the show as well, TH talked about the TH TH (Tony Hawk Town Hall) that went on yesterday. He’s into skateboarding and cheeseburgers. Chris Brown got a new tattoo. He’s into beating women’s asses and shitty tattoos. Rawdog, sans shirt mind you, interviewed some Chippendales dudes about cocoa butter, workouts, nutrition, and cock. He also took a picture with them that you should definitely see, it’s on his Instagram. By the way, he’s into circle jerks and planetariums.

LA stinks like shit and rotten eggs lately, and I’m left wondering how people are just noticing that LA stinks like shit? They’re trying to blame it on the Salton Sea, but I’m not so sure about that. My theory is that your mom is wearing a dress and that’s what’s been making LA and neighboring states stink like shit and rotten eggs for over 40 years. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 9/10/2012

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You wanna go to the planetarium, you say?

It’s Monday, it’s the start of a week of TJES in NYC, droppin’ BOMBS on your moms. Why do people get all dumb when traveling to another country? If you ask me, or even if you don’t as me, my answer is the same: because that bitch needs a load to the face. Ellis needed a phone charger, so obviously he checked a strip club and then a jerk-off booth because that’s probably where one would find a phone charger, am I right? However, he didn’t feel like jacking off so, he’ll go back tomorrow and give us a report. Back in LA, Rawdog went to a planetarium with his girlfriend – it sounded horribly boring, but apparently they had a pretty good time – they also had missionary sex. Good times, good times. Ellis’ daughter had accidentally gotten one of Katie’s t-shirt’s from the wash and to be funny, she wore it in front of her. The t-shirt said, “I love Satan” and everyone had a good laugh until it was time to drop Devin off at her mom’s house. By this time, everyone had forgotten she was still wearing the t-shirt, things didn’t go well when mommy saw the shirt.

Pendarvis doing buttons is as cute as OMG!

One thing that nobody knew about this trip to NYC, the trip is for Tully to promote his new coffee table book of artful cock photos. This took everyone by surprise, even Tully, just not the monster truck voice guy on the radio – mainly because this book does not yet exist. Since Will Pendarvis made the trip to NYC and Backbone is in-house, it only makes sense to have Will re-do all the buttons for the show. He re-did the “POOOOOOOOP”, “You should just fuckin’ smile and blow me”, “Well puke on my dick”, “Hard pussy on your ass”, and “Shut that cunt’s mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head”, and “ah delicious cum on the ground, ahhhbllaauuhhhggg” buttons. It was partially disturbing yet full on hilarious. Ellis isn’t nearly as angry as he used to be, Rawdog doesn’t express his anger to a point of fault, so smart guy in the room (Tully) looked for the middle ground where Rawdog get’s a chance to vent his anger. And BOOM! We got our first Rawdog “I’m fucking angry” rant session, which was more emo than angry. He needs work, more angry work.

Shit’s pretty much normal around here.

Some dude fell out of a moving car, got ran over, people stopped to help, he got up and ran towards one of the stopped cars, opened the back door and tried to pull a kid out… he was on PCP. That PCP shit, it makes fucking superheros. High profile guest on the show today, guitar sick cunt Steve Vai stopped by, and if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably younger than most of us. Ellis, in all his refinement, couldn’t help but notice how big Vai’s hands are and asked if he could swim good with those flippers. HA! That’s just one of the things I love about listening to Ellis interview famous people. Stacy Peralta made a quick stop by the show, he’s a skateboarding legend. And again, if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably old enough to be raped, and young enough to press some serious charges. Scott Greenstein, President and CCO of Sirius XM made super brief stop by the show as well, and if you don’t know who he is, don’t worry about it – only Sirius XM employees know if he really exists or not. Hey, did you know your mom tried to get your sister on birth control because she was following in mommies footsteps? Yup, she did. Your mom walked into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Can I get some birth control for my 10 year old daughter?” The pharmacist said, “You have a sexually active 10 year old daughter!?” Your mom then said, “Sexually active? Hell no!, She just lies there and cries most of the time”. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 9/4/2012

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Well? Who did you think shows up at swinger parties?

It’s Tuesday, it’s Cullen’s birthday, and I’m still reeling from that kick ass interview with The Jingleberries, so nothing can put me in a bad mood today – NOTHING! Big Daddy Jayce Cakes went to a swinger party in Palm Beach or some shit, I’m just wondering if he happened to see Rawdog’s mysterious girlfriend there. He did see an Aussie couple there, they were older and from Melbourne, hence they were off-limits and in the “no boning” queue in Ellis’ brain. Which begged the question, what if he saw an EllisFam member there? The consensus was that it would be super fuckin’ weird, gross, and a boner killer. He banged some chicks he didn’t know and Katie banged some dudes she didn’t know, apparently people were quite interested in Katie at this swinger party. Surprise, surprise, Rude Jude also went to a swinger party over the weekend as well, but not the same one – he also fucked his first white girl, who happened to be German, in 2 and half years.

My milkshake would’ve brought all the boys to the yard, but I drank it.

Tully has made the decision that he will never take hallucinogens again for the rest of his life, he’s worried he’s going to get a mental image of something and it will stick with him for the rest of his life. He did however take some Vicodin this weekend and really enjoyed it, so he stands by his decision to get into pills. Tully also went out on a date this weekend, with his wife and not his girlfriend, they went out to dinner and movie and guess who he’s looking at while at the Japanese restaurant – yup, Glenn Danzig. Rawdog feels like he’s gained some sexual prowess recently, specifically when to go fast, slow, and in or out! Every. Fucking. Day. Champ. He went to a Dodger’s game over the weekend, boned his girl three times, and now she’s getting some flowers today. Some super secret girlfriend of Tom Cruise supposedly got in twouble with Tommy and The Church of Scientology by proxy, and was then forced to scrub toilets with a toothbrush. Something or another about Marlene Dietrich. Whatever, don’t give a shit, let’s move on.

You’re gonna have to click for biggie size!

The guys played a game today with the Shake Weight® – winner gets a pass and the losers having to vigorously use the Shake Weight while staring at each other, first one to blink, loses and gets their balls hooked up to and pulled with the R/C car. First question: Who is the richest drummer? Survey says, in order of richest to not as rich: Ringo Starr, Phil Collins, Dave Grohl, Don Henley, and Lars Ulrich. Rawdog got the free pass, pitting Tully against Ellis – in the end, Ellis blinked first and so got his nuts tugged. Today was NMT, I think it started as 90’s themed because there were some really shit bands at first, and then it seemed like the 90’s portion was over and it was more current shit bands. To be fair, it did get a little better, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Rawdog feel good about NMT.

Rawdog has dwarf-gigantism. That’s not medically accurate and is total hearsay, but it sounds pretty good because he’s sensitive about his height. A couple of people called in to sing the Marlins song and to say they hate their jobs, but the world kept on a turning, and they kept hating their jobs. No silver lining there, folks. Just pure hell, 5 days a week. It could always be worse though, could you imagine having to do bukkake gang bangs 7 days a week like you mom? OH!

UPDATE: It’s not Cullen’s birthday. Ellis fuckin’ punked me. I swear I heard him say it at the start of one the song breaks. Cullen’s birthday is 9/11. That’s right, the war on terror and Cullen are synonymous.

Tranny Olympics Week – Day 3 – Tranny Twister

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Tranny-Olympics

The Tranny Olympics rolls on with an all new tranny. TJES was in NYC and Foxxy couldn’t be there, so she called in her TS friend Paris Pirelli. Enjoy!

Tranny Twister with Paris Pirelli – 9/29/10

Download (link to MP3)

Bonus: “Eddie Murphy is a tranny fucker!” – 8/4/10

Download (link to MP3)

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SONY DSC

SONY DSC

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/16/2012

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DanOD5 getting his interview on after some thuggery

Holy shit, I’m still reeling from @DanOD5 winning his fights! That had to of been one of the bigger surprises that night, I think, maybe, or maybe not. I dunno. I know I was floored. Rawdog officiated a marriage between two lesbians while they were in Vegas, and according to Cullen, he then promptly started trying to sleep with one of them but he got cock blocked by smooth operator Jude. Or maybe it was just the massive zit embryo he had festering on his face. Ellis couldn’t take it anymore and cut the umbilical cord on that sucker for him today on the show. After knocking Gay Bruediger out in the second round, while Ellis was celebrating his victory, he got a little surprise. He got kicked in the leg by Forrest Griffin and then Mayhem got him really good in the knee and fucked up his PCL. Congratulations on your win, now find a wheelchair and fill up on the pain meds! I guess that’s how some MMA guys like to congratulate each other.

MMA Sasquatch lurking and rubbing his jerky in the background

Dingo started one of the rounds in his fight on the top turnbuckle, what a fucking champ! Both he and Danny (not OD5) had been drinking before & during their fight and mysteriously after their fight, there was a vomit trail leading down a set of stairs. I’m guessing that could have been a combination of Jack Daniels, being out of breath, and getting socked in the stomach by MMA Sasquatch. Ellis was awarded the MVP trophy and promptly gave it to @FaceplantLauren and @Shanwize1 for their epic battle in the ring during the “Humongous Bitch” fight, in which Lauren won. By most accounts, it was the best fight of the night and deserving of the MVP trophy. And now seems like a good time to give you a re-cap of the rest of the fights and the winners: Cumtard defeated @shit_toboggan, @Dutch_RDS ended up winning the blindfold shock collar fight, some dude dressed as a belly dancer beat out @Cogdeth in the musical chair fight, and @TheRealRubyR defeated Rawdog.

Mayhem Bot making his rap debut with Death! Death! Die!

Apparently Mayhem was pretty blasted after the fights, but I guess he deserved it after his performance the previous night at the Death! Death! Die! concert. Tully said there were quite a few people who said that was probably the best show the band has put on. So congratulations to everybody in the band as well as the guest stars, everybody in the bikini contest from Friday, and everybody that participated in the fights on Saturday night! And shout out to all the other peeps who got to go to Vegas to experience EllisMania 8 in person! Even though the entire weekends worth of shows put on by EllisMania were probably wicked sick yo, I’m willing to bet if you were to ask everyone who went “what was the best part”, most would answer “meeting everyone” – but since I didn’t go, I can only speculate. At any rate, I’m glad to see you all had fun and all (or most all) have made it home safe sound. I mean shit, just think of how horrible it would be if something bad had happened to you there? Who knows, maybe you would’ve never gotten the chance to kiss your mom’s jizz covered face ever again. OH!