Show Re-cap For Friday 2/8/2013

Time to take a ride on the Dick Ambulance, innn outtt innn outtt. It was funnier when Ellis did it. Ellis is back and on pain meds for his back and today he said it hurts when he looks down, but being the champion that he is he came in today to entertain our asses. He said that he is felling old, not because of his back but because of the young girls that were in the studio yesterday. He thinks that they were too young for him and that it would be creepy. Rawdog then explained the “half your age plus seven” rule. That’s where you divide your age by two, add tufseven  then ask for her ID and if she’s over 18 then your in the clear. Then Ells talked about the TUF knock out because he finally got to see it on TV. They talked about getting switched off and how its bad but Ellis used to see his skate buddies do it all the time. The conversation turned to fighting people and if it’s ever worth it even if your fighting for girl. The general thought was that it’s not good and fighting for honor is just stupid. Ellis said that there will be no final calls because the callers suck and it’s all the same bull shit over and over. They talked about home protection and what is best to keep near in case of an intruder. Other than a gun I think the general consensus is a bat. Tully showed Kevin how he need to answer the phones now and I think that he is the best call screener ever, just as long as I’m not trying to call. The dude is cutthroat and like a dude on Twitter said, Burbank Dave is fucked now.

This is the hour that I missed and then relistened to after an alleged many beers so the following may not be completely accurate  A woman has lots of cats and licks them, cue the pussy licking jokes. There were more unsigned farts played and something about Megan Fox but I’m not too sure what. Some actors have odd OCD like habits, for example Olivia Mund pulls her eyelashes out when she’s nervous and Michael J Fox gets jittery when he is happy, or sad, or sleeping. Homeless people smell like they shit and don’t shower, who knew. Tully said he’d kick the priests ass and yell hail Satan or something then Kevin chimed in with Asian retard story about inappropriate smiling. And there’s a lot of fucked up people on twitter, surprise surprise. One dude thinks about his buddy’s junk then Ellis ended this hour by pounded a monster.

foxshakeyc7Ellis thinks it would be funny to ask random people on the street about their STDs. A woman got caught with three different kinds of drugs in her vagina. Then somehow the conversation progressed into Tully’s love boat of slaves and whores. tully love boatSounds pretty awesome because after a while they will start to like being there and making waves with the motion of the ocean. Rawdog doesn’t think he could live anywhere but in a city. If Rawdog woke up one morning and he was black the first thing he would do is call his family to let them know. Then he would go to McDonald’s and order his usual chicken nuggets with a side of expected racism. Ellis would listen to the blues because that’s what all black Australian skate boarders do. Tully then proceeded to explain why the Blues suck and that nobody really listen’s to the Blues even though you might like it once and a while, like a thumb in your bum.mcfist mcribs mcdonalds ronald mcdonald motivational osters online funny

Get The Clit Off Your Box was just one chick whose boyfriend pushes her head down on his dick and holds her nose closed so she can’t breathe and chokes on his dick. This dude shouldn’t be allowed to have a dick of he can’t treat those that service it with a little respect. And she also caught him sniffing her panties in a neon green thong. On behalf of men everywhere, this dude is out of the club. In images (1)Hollywood news the new Sports Illustrated cover was leaked and nobody gave a shit. Adam Levine made anti cologne that smells like a homeless man who shit himself and made a hand puppet out of it. Something about Bruce Willis promoting Die Hard 5 while a little wasted, RedDragons to him. Star Wars, bla bla, bla, more Hollywood news and who gives a fuck, it’s Friday. Oh yeah, Lohan.

Final calls allegedly happened, kinda. There were much better calls but way less of them. Even there weren’t many calls they were still informative. We learned that if you work in service industry you have to be pleasant but you don’t have to eat goat, and being on point no matter what happened to your pup after a coyote eating, Jesus cross and dead guys on your neck. (note: I was very drunk at this point and I’m not sure what this meant but it was in my notes so I shall share it with you). The one thing that I am sure about is that yer mum was very drunk too, so drunk that she got arrested for public indecency after wearing short shorts in public, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/12/2012

YNThe Jason Ellis Show is back undoubtedly thanks to Burbank Dave and his ability to be at Jason’a help at a moments notice. Elephants are wrinkly, so are cats, especially when they are hairless and can’t hide their wrinkly ball sack looking skin. Ellis was invited to go to a red carpet event of Disney on Ice with his kids. Nothing cooler than your Dad being interviewed by a bunch of people that think he’s Jason Stathams stunt double. Rawdog claims that he has seen a car flip over during high winds while being blown by Jessica Simpson. There are a number of things that make this story improbable. First only Josh and Burbank Dave have ever seen a car flip due to winds, and second, there is no enough room in Josh’s car for Jessica to be able to properly blow him.Disney on Meth

There’s only one day left to bid on the charity jam they call the Jason Ellis Show Experience. Okay, maybe I just call it that but the current bid is just over 5 grand! Goos job EllisFam. Ever wonder what your baby is worth on the black market? Rawdog took a quicksmells like shit survey from tully and out of 50 fruits and vegetables, he only likes french fries. If anyone was shocked by that please stop reading this, you will never get it. Ezekiel Bread is made with poop. Yup, poop. It used to be made with cow poop but then the people bitched to God about it and because God likes a good joke, told them to use their own poop and they did and God laughed. Its in the Bible, and more importantly its’s on the internet so that makes it true.

Thank you to the ladies for helping out with the “What Do You Think Of These” segment, it sounds like the guys really enjoy it. And if you would also like us here at NoYouAre to give our opinion please CC us a copy, thank you. Panama is making their canal wider which means that they can take a bigger load through their wet passage. And speaking of Panama, segway, a Panama woman got caught smuggling coke in her breast implants. Here’s the Yoko Ono video, and that’s all I need to say about that. Whats left of Nirvana and Paul McCartney are performing together for a charity event and so are Octomom and The Dudesons. And Here’s the Anti-Scientology rap. New Music Tuesday Wednesday was a menagerie of shit featuring Metta World Peace, Cassidy Pope, Big Boy, and some other shitty music that made me want to put sharp objects into my ears.

Hollywood News is brought to you by Anne Hathaway’s pussy. According to some magazine, some chicks are hot, Ricky Martin wishes to come out of the closet again so he can be twice as gay, and Brook Mueller (Charlie Sheen’s ex) is going to rehab, again, for the 19th time. Good luck with this one. The 19th time’s the charm. And then there was final calls where we learned that Australians are just the American version of The Dudesons, drunk and possible retarded. I shouldn’t say mean things like that though. We all thought yer mum was retarded, the way she constantly drooled and slobbered, that is until we realized it’s just all the left over man goo that was seeping out, OH!The Dudesons



Show Re-cap For Monday 9/10/2012

You wanna go to the planetarium, you say?

It’s Monday, it’s the start of a week of TJES in NYC, droppin’ BOMBS on your moms. Why do people get all dumb when traveling to another country? If you ask me, or even if you don’t as me, my answer is the same: because that bitch needs a load to the face. Ellis needed a phone charger, so obviously he checked a strip club and then a jerk-off booth because that’s probably where one would find a phone charger, am I right? However, he didn’t feel like jacking off so, he’ll go back tomorrow and give us a report. Back in LA, Rawdog went to a planetarium with his girlfriend – it sounded horribly boring, but apparently they had a pretty good time – they also had missionary sex. Good times, good times. Ellis’ daughter had accidentally gotten one of Katie’s t-shirt’s from the wash and to be funny, she wore it in front of her. The t-shirt said, “I love Satan” and everyone had a good laugh until it was time to drop Devin off at her mom’s house. By this time, everyone had forgotten she was still wearing the t-shirt, things didn’t go well when mommy saw the shirt.

Pendarvis doing buttons is as cute as OMG!

One thing that nobody knew about this trip to NYC, the trip is for Tully to promote his new coffee table book of artful cock photos. This took everyone by surprise, even Tully, just not the monster truck voice guy on the radio – mainly because this book does not yet exist. Since Will Pendarvis made the trip to NYC and Backbone is in-house, it only makes sense to have Will re-do all the buttons for the show. He re-did the “POOOOOOOOP”, “You should just fuckin’ smile and blow me”, “Well puke on my dick”, “Hard pussy on your ass”, and “Shut that cunt’s mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head”, and “ah delicious cum on the ground, ahhhbllaauuhhhggg” buttons. It was partially disturbing yet full on hilarious. Ellis isn’t nearly as angry as he used to be, Rawdog doesn’t express his anger to a point of fault, so smart guy in the room (Tully) looked for the middle ground where Rawdog get’s a chance to vent his anger. And BOOM! We got our first Rawdog “I’m fucking angry” rant session, which was more emo than angry. He needs work, more angry work.

Shit’s pretty much normal around here.

Some dude fell out of a moving car, got ran over, people stopped to help, he got up and ran towards one of the stopped cars, opened the back door and tried to pull a kid out… he was on PCP. That PCP shit, it makes fucking superheros. High profile guest on the show today, guitar sick cunt Steve Vai stopped by, and if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably younger than most of us. Ellis, in all his refinement, couldn’t help but notice how big Vai’s hands are and asked if he could swim good with those flippers. HA! That’s just one of the things I love about listening to Ellis interview famous people. Stacy Peralta made a quick stop by the show, he’s a skateboarding legend. And again, if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably old enough to be raped, and young enough to press some serious charges. Scott Greenstein, President and CCO of Sirius XM made super brief stop by the show as well, and if you don’t know who he is, don’t worry about it – only Sirius XM employees know if he really exists or not. Hey, did you know your mom tried to get your sister on birth control because she was following in mommies footsteps? Yup, she did. Your mom walked into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Can I get some birth control for my 10 year old daughter?” The pharmacist said, “You have a sexually active 10 year old daughter!?” Your mom then said, “Sexually active? Hell no!, She just lies there and cries most of the time”. OH!