Tag Archives: Yoko Ono

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 11/27/2013

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Rawdog’s still not there. Talk about changing the show intro. I can see you’re deep in thought.

Welcome to the thing. The last show & recap for this week, right before the Thanksgiving holidays coma for us Americans. Before getting into the show, let’s go ahead and quickly address what’s on everyone’s mind. No, Rawdog is not there today. Yesterday, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis just said he wanted to take some time off and that’s all he knows. Then today, a caller asked where he’s been and Ellis said he’s taken a leave of absence and may never be back. As the show intro was playing, apparently Ellis also said they have to get a new intro and that they should change it anyway. What does all that mean? I don’t know, read into that what you will. But it isn’t looking good. Moving on, Shoebox is in studio today. Ellis was gonna go to the gym today, but he had a vibe and went with it, so he went to the beach instead. While he and Katie and Burger were there, some random people were taking pictures of them. Ellis wants a little bit of side burns tattoo, not mutton chops a la Danzig or anything, but just a touch of knife burns.

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Whose gonna blow me? Anyone? Anyone?

Hey stalkers! Wilson revealed that he and Christian live about a block from each other, so get your stalker maps out, make sure you have the proper tools, and you might want to look at a larger kill room. Everyone thinks Wilson is from Germany, some people yell things at him, other’s give him a nod & a wink, and superhero’s look at him in awe. Four years ago the police busted Chewbacca and Elmo in a drug ring in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater, some people got shot, and a woman tourist got stabbed for not giving some homeless, crazy fucker a dollar. So if you’ve been planning to take a vacation to Hollywood to hob nob with the stars, you might wanna think twice about that because you’re basically going to pay for a trip to see and smell piss and shit and crushed dreams and if you’re lucky, you’ll only get robbed and shot once instead of multiple times. According to Mr. Hand, there’s also a “boys town” part of Hollywood that’s well known for a gay scene and getting a blowjob in 45 seconds or less. Beats Dominoes I guess.

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Just cuz I’m white doesn’t mean I can’t get down to some Bone Thugs.

Did you know beer is better for you than Coke? It sounds just ridiculous enough that I can believe it. High-fructose corn syrup was invented by Satan and it is in pretty much fucking everything you eat and drink and it’s gonna kill you, probably tomorrow. The guys talked about old school ads for cigarettes, where doctors were advocating a certain brand of cigarette over the other, you know, because they care about your health and not the loot lining their pockets. But enough with the doom and gloom, it’s time for Bone Thugs‐n‐Harmony to come serenade us with super quiet “I’m high as hell” inside voices. It was hard to hear some of the Bones because they were so quiet. It almost felt like I was a hot chick and they were trying to run game on me or something, all suave and shit. They talked about their upcoming show tonight, how tight they are, and how they’re so tight they don’t know who in their group is married and who isn’t. They don’t go around smackin’ people in the grill anymore because they don’t wanna get shot, which I say is wise life choice. But don’t get flip the script and get it all mixed up, if you step, they’ll squash beef and cave in teef. They just want them and their fans to go out and have a good time, they try to steer clear of drama, Unless you count the time one of them got shot in the head. Or the time one of them accidentally shot the other one. And not the time one of them got kidnapped as a child along with his 3 sisters and found by John Walsh from America’s Most Wanted. For sure not the time when a dead body got dropped off in front of one their homes. You know, it’s your typical wholesome story that could be part anyone’s childhood. All joking aside, it was a great interview and they had some interesting stories.

Breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is on iTunes now. Breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Google Play Music and is already #1 in the Metal section. Breaking, breaking, breaking news time. Big Fucking Mega Boat is also on Amazon and is already a #1 seller in the Hard Rock & Metal section. You should go buy a copy like I did. All the cool kids are doing it, you wanna be one of the cool kids, right? Well, don’t come running to me when people start making fun of your music library for not having Big Fucking Mega Boat. Breaking, breaking, breaking, breaking news time. It’s time to pass out the 2013 Yoko’s in this year’s Reverse Awards! Here are your categories and your winners:

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Sorry winners of a Yoko. This is the reverse awards.

  • Best Religion: Scientology
  • Best Jingleberries Member: Bryan “Backbone” Cullen
  • Smartest Intern of All-Time: Anal Gay-Lewis
  • Smallest Clitoris: Brock Lesnar
  • Best TJES Guest Ever: Method Man & Redman
  • Best Wolfknife Nickname: Urethra Butt Butt
  • Least Radioactive Jew: Rawdog
  • Most Profound Kid Rock Tweet: “I didn’t come here for a hard time, I came here for a good time.” – Kid Rock
  • Realest Animal: Rawdog’s Dad
  • Most Uncreepy Male Star: Corey Feldman
  • The Rising Star Award: Kevin Kraft
  • Lifetime Achievement Award: Jaden Smith
  • Most Welcome Comeback: Andy Dick
  • Most Deservingly Famous: George Zimmerman
  • “Clean and Sober Living” Award: Lindsay Lohan
  • Most Alive Celebrity: Larry King
  • Smallest Butthole: Sam Rubin
  • Woman of the Year: Paula Deen
  • Man of the Year: Chris Brown
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Bless this post, and bless all of you. Bless us everyone!

And there you have it, folks. The Yoko’s pretty much wrapped up the show all neat and tidy. There were a few short final calls, oh, and a mention that either tomorrow or Friday, there will be something “special” on Faction, but that’s all that was said. I assume you’ll have an opportunity to hear old or best-of shows for most of the day or something like that. That’s my best guess anyway. So I guess I should wrap this up huh? Pop quiz hotshots! Why are there no Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they become Targets. OH! Happy Skanksgiving to all my American trick ass bitches and gangsta-ass swingin’ dicks. Happy get up and go to work like normal to all my Canadian molettes and moles. And shout to all the girls I’ve loved before.

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/12/2012

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YNThe Jason Ellis Show is back undoubtedly thanks to Burbank Dave and his ability to be at Jason’a help at a moments notice. Elephants are wrinkly, so are cats, especially when they are hairless and can’t hide their wrinkly ball sack looking skin. Ellis was invited to go to a red carpet event of Disney on Ice with his kids. Nothing cooler than your Dad being interviewed by a bunch of people that think he’s Jason Stathams stunt double. Rawdog claims that he has seen a car flip over during high winds while being blown by Jessica Simpson. There are a number of things that make this story improbable. First only Josh and Burbank Dave have ever seen a car flip due to winds, and second, there is no enough room in Josh’s car for Jessica to be able to properly blow him.Disney on Meth

There’s only one day left to bid on the charity jam they call the Jason Ellis Show Experience. Okay, maybe I just call it that but the current bid is just over 5 grand! Goos job EllisFam. Ever wonder what your baby is worth on the black market? Rawdog took a quicksmells like shit survey from tully and out of 50 fruits and vegetables, he only likes french fries. If anyone was shocked by that please stop reading this, you will never get it. Ezekiel Bread is made with poop. Yup, poop. It used to be made with cow poop but then the people bitched to God about it and because God likes a good joke, told them to use their own poop and they did and God laughed. Its in the Bible, and more importantly its’s on the internet so that makes it true.

Thank you to the ladies for helping out with the “What Do You Think Of These” segment, it sounds like the guys really enjoy it. And if you would also like us here at NoYouAre to give our opinion please CC us a copy, thank you. Panama is making their canal wider which means that they can take a bigger load through their wet passage. And speaking of Panama, segway, a Panama woman got caught smuggling coke in her breast implants. Here’s the Yoko Ono video, and that’s all I need to say about that. Whats left of Nirvana and Paul McCartney are performing together for a charity event and so are Octomom and The Dudesons. And Here’s the Anti-Scientology rap. New Music Tuesday Wednesday was a menagerie of shit featuring Metta World Peace, Cassidy Pope, Big Boy, and some other shitty music that made me want to put sharp objects into my ears.

Hollywood News is brought to you by Anne Hathaway’s pussy. According to some magazine, some chicks are hot, Ricky Martin wishes to come out of the closet again so he can be twice as gay, and Brook Mueller (Charlie Sheen’s ex) is going to rehab, again, for the 19th time. Good luck with this one. The 19th time’s the charm. And then there was final calls where we learned that Australians are just the American version of The Dudesons, drunk and possible retarded. I shouldn’t say mean things like that though. We all thought yer mum was retarded, the way she constantly drooled and slobbered, that is until we realized it’s just all the left over man goo that was seeping out, OH!The Dudesons