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Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/30/2012

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Hot chicks here, hot chicks there, but there are no hot chicks around you. Why, you ask? Because according to Rawdog there is only about 2,000 girls that rate a 10 in the entire world and chances are you don’t know her. Don’t fel bad, neither do I.  The big announcement yesterday was about the indoor truck series and how awesome it is going to be. Its like truck racing and moto had a bastard child and fed it Red Bulls. The talk turned to NASCAR and Jason, Tully, and Josh don’t seem to understand its popularity, but two million beer drinkin, burger eatin, Camel smokin americans can’t be wrong. And hockey, that too, except its Canadian and I don’t know what Canadians smoke. But non the less, they’re both great to have an ice cold brew to. Cheers.

Today was also the delayed New Music Tuesday, you can guess how that went, some good, some fucking aweful. I would go into more detail but that would mean I would have to remember it and living through it once was enough. Theres a new call screener, again. It appears we will have a new one every day this week, what fun. There was a new game played today also, The Ultimate Phone Caller! This is where two callers pretend to fight one another MMA style and pretend to win the pretend fight. It goes to show you that even lame bits that don’t really work can end up being funny.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday, and the topic was Worlds Richest Person Whos Face You’d Like To Punch, or something like that. And heres your list:

10.  I forget

9.  I missed it

8. I dont know

7. Sarah Jessicah Parker

6. Thom Yorke

5. Donald Trump (maybe)

4. Steven Seagal

3. Donald Trump (again, maybe)

2. Chad Kroeger

1. Eli Manning

And that is your Worlds Greatest Wednesday, sort of. Moving on, has a cross dressing scarf wearing pig on the loose, Affliction needs to go away, even the girls agree, Tapout is still cool, and the final callers weren’t too bad, suprisingly.

I apologise for some of the things I missed in this re-cap, the mobil app on my phone kept losing the data connection and I’m pretty sure it was because your moms ginormous gunt was blocking the 3G signal as she layed int he sun, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/29/2012

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If your reading this its because your one of the cool kids and just so you know, being cool is cool, so be cool to stay cool and then were all cool. Before the show Ellis spent some time on the beach where he met a crab. Now this was apparently no ordinary crab, this was a moto crab and he had many questions about Vilipoto. Why a crab would care escapes me but hell, if i found a talking crab I would probably try to aswer all the questions he had. Jude came in today and gave us some very great advise, NEVER take Cialis and Ecstacy at the same time. It might seem like a good idea, but according to Jude, your heart will probably blast out of your chest. Also on more drug educating news, don’t eat fruit while on Cialis. I don’t know why but this one guy that my buddies brother knew did and he died. There, thats all the proof you need.

Canada has severed feet popping up everywhere, this time it was mailed. Great job on suppying the show with material Canada, keep up the good work. There is a new call screener and so far today he has done a fine job, there was a drastic decrease in shitty phone calls today. He currently is being called The Navarro, but I expect that to change shortly because there can only be one Navarro, and only one. The main test today was when the guys played Dude Am I A Slut, and I must say that the FNG did just fine. The first call was a Tranny, but then it happened. The DAIAS call that all other calls will be measured upon, Jennifer. Jennifer apparently was on a 7 day cruise and fucked 6 guys not counting her boyfriend who was with her, and 2 of which were a threesome with her girlfriend. Congratulations Jennifer you slut of all sluts.

Jessie Johnson was in the studio today to promote his new energy drink, Speed. He talked about racing, and he announced that there is an announcement. An 81 year old woman almost died skydiving, and a naked man in Florida got shot by police because he was eating another mans face. Tumble Bum doesn’t like potatoe slad be cause it, “is still a salad” which made everybody stop what they were doing as say, what the fuck? And finally Uncle Mayhem came in today and said that he was relieved that he is no longer in the UFC. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of him. He will continue to train his other team mates and I have a good feeling that Mayhem will still be around the UFC one way or another.  Did you know that you had a brother? No? It turns out that your moms pussy was so hairy when he was born, that he died of rugburns, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/24/2012

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Great news folks, today was a full show! Some people felt that it was uncalled for and a bit “sissy like” to have bailed and other felt that Ellis should take whatever time he needs. Frankly I dont give two shits, it made yesterdays recap much easier for me so BOOYAH!  Ellis didn’t get in specifics about the reasons that he left, he just said that times are hard sometimes. But more importantly, THE HULK HANDS ARE HERE! This is one of the greatest days ever. Now Tully smash Rawdogs cock! Oh and also don’t fall in love with a hooker unless your Richard Gere and she has a gerbil ranch.

Roy of Sigfried and Roy has been molesting his care givers.  This is not shocking seeing that this man had his face eaten by a fucking tiger. Anybody that gets their face eaten off should have free range on all the man ass grabbin his disfigured self can handle. After this the phones went to a disturbing yer interesting version of EllisFam Love Line. Ellis said something about American Idol ripping him off or something, not sure, every time someone mentions that show I tend to blank out. Wierd. Someone on Ellismania.com said that it looks like Rawdog is starting to go bald. Thanks to high tech futuristic computers and doo dads (mainly bitPimps and his photoshop skills) we can see what Joah would look like with no hair. Kinda like if Howie Mandell fell into a pit of ugly and slipped into a bear trap on the way out.

Ellis, along with his many other ventures, wants to try his hand at insult comedy, he tried a little with the callers and I think he needs to practice a little, but he might turn out pretty good. There was also some discussion about what TV show ellis could be on, and I’m pretty sure somewhere in the show he said something about Ellismania.com. Oh, and some gay dude from Big Bang Theory is gay. Thats not the suprising part of that story though, you see one night while your mom was whoring around he was really lonely and needed some “affection” and after paying your mom her usual $3.50 he said that he’d rather fuck dudes than another lard filled cesspool you call a mum, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/23/2012

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Such an eventful Wednesday show think that I might find it hard to fit everything into todays re-cap, but here goes nothinng.  Somebody infiltrated the intro song with that shitacular Marlins song, Rawdog thought System of a Down was the biggest metal band when he was in high school (figures).  Ellis wants to get a head tattoo so from afar it would look like he has hair, new Goth rock sucks as much dick as old Goth rock, Tully likes his pork a little rare, and someone called in asking for advise with divorce at which point Tully and Josh took the reigns and after a rather heart felt discussion the show took a music break and returned with a best of show. Nobody is clear what happened or what went wrong, but we all wish the best for Jason and hope things get sorted out soon.

But dont be sad, I created a hashtag game that @bitPimps kicked off called #EllisFamRumors, enjoy.

@Hollow_NorCal Heard @bitPimps & @mike_in_canada are siamese twins who sit on thier couch and share a laptop. #EllisFamRumors

@Jack_The_Cunt #EllisFamRumors I’m not who I say I am. I’m not a cunt.

@bitPimps I heard @AZ_RedDragon recently started a new job, not driving trucks, but as “Tito” in the Chippendales Male Revue.

@Hollow_NorCal I heard @Dutch_RDS  was a spy. #EllisFamRumors

@biiPimps I heard @KimDultz runs a gang that reaches from Boise all the way to the other side of Boise. #EllisFamRumors

‏@bitPimps I heard @shit_toboggan won a “best customer / employee relationship” award. #EllisFamRumors

@cogdeth “@bitPimps: I heard @cogdeth shot a man in Reno just to watch him eat pie. #EllisFamRumors” >~ no, but I DID climb fence in Vegas #OtherSide

@bitPimps I heard @mike_in_canada has pictures of his wang up on Brazzers. #EllisFamRumors

And the biggest #EllisFamRumor is that yer mum isn’t the massive gutter slut that we all think she is, but then again, its only a rumor, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/17/2012

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Ones fear often can be debilitating and incredibly difficult to overcome.  However today we learned a simple, rather effective solution to this fear, get punched in the face.  Yes folks it’s that simple, just go to your local gym or boxing center and find the biggest guy there and have him punch you in the face.  According to Jason Ellis this is the only method that he uses. This message has been brought to you by your local Rhinoplasty Center.  Ellis is taking the A6K to West Coast Customs today and it will be very interesting to see what the guys will do with it.  My guess is that it is going to be the loudest truck on Sunset Blvd as it blasts the Sponge Bob song. Gangsta.

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson came into the studio today.  He has his very own app out on the market that “measures the strength of your punch.”  I understand that there is a lot of development, and research that goes into such a scientific device, but when Rawdog gets a respectable score with his spaghetti arm girl punches, I become a bit suspicious. After the discussion about the app and all is wonderment the talk naturally turned to MMA, MMA fighters, and other MMA stuff. If your a die hard MMA fan then you should definatly catch the replay in the morning.

Gay rights was discussed on the show today also and Ellis, Tuly, and Josh would like to make shirts to support gay rights with the procedes going to the cause. The biggest question was, “What should they say?”  This was another shining moment for the EllisFam to flex and off they went. There were many great ideas, some funny, some gross, and some that I wish I never heard. It was great.  The favorite pick was “Maraige is gay” which came in strong at the end to win it all. Congratulations for wining nothing who ever you are but thank you for playing.

My phone app kept repeating the show right before final calls, but I’m sure I didn’t miss much.  It also appears that Crazy Slut Magazine is now on Twitter (Yes, I’ve been under a rock). I highly reccomend following them, unless your worried about seeing your mom on the cover. Don’t worry, it not Disgusting Vaginas With Syphilis Magazine, OH!