Show Re-cap For Tuesday 12/18/2012

You gonna masturbate with that bleeding cock or what?

You gonna masturbate with that bleeding cock or what?

HOLY SHIT Y’ALL! WHO FARTED? Hahahahaaa! Man, I’m a killer. Anyways, let’s all just calm the fuck down for a second here and remember, it’s Tuesday, and we’ll never forget! At least until Friday, actually, maybe tomorrow, I promise. Have you ever thought you were gonna die? Terrifying wasn’t it? Yea, you betchya. Ellis was in a Soundgarden video this morning, doing things and stuff. He also smashed his head and it left a mark. Turns out it was from a dildo – that’s right, a dildo related injury to the dome is how you know your life is headed in the right direction. Rawdog had a sex related injury once, his girlfriend got on top of him the wrong way and I assume he got that weird boner pop that don’t feel too good. Some MMA fighter broke his dick too, poor motherfucker had to get dick stitches too. Cumtard, the rolling rave machine, squeezed his dick so hard to stop himself from pissing that he pinched the tip of his off. Who scalps their own dick? Queue the callers, all with dick injury pecker wrecker stories, and if you’re a male listener, you spent the majority of the time cringing. Maybe today should be exploding dick awareness day? 12/18/2012 Never forget!

A wreath of Franklins...get it?

Speaking of celebrities… A wreath of Franklins…get it?

Instagram terms of service has changed and everyone is going ape shit. Basically, they can use your username and photos, sell that shit and give you no duckettes in return. This isn’t anything new among the larger social media websites, Facebook, Four Square, etc. all have terms of service that are very similar, your shit is not private, if you want full privacy, don’t upload content to social media websites. Or, you can just do whatever Pink decides you should do. Some dude that hacked Scarlett Johansson’s phone and leaked nude photos of her got 10 years in the clink. “Flocka Claus” is a thing on Twitter. Donald Trump won a $5 million dollar judgement against an ex-Miss USA contestant. Charlie Sheen donated like $75k to some girl with cancer, so Stevie Wonder donated $100k and then sang to her, just to fuck with Sheen. Tom Cruise has specified zones for his house staff, they can’t just go walking all willy nilly through his crib. They also had to pass a bunch of tests and shit, which isn’t crazy at all, nope, not at all. Lindsay Lohan has asked friends to start sending letters to a judge in an effort to make her look not so fucking stupid. Cameron Douglas, son of Michael Douglas, got his leg broke on a $100 bounty or some shit while serving time in the slammer for dealing meth and shit.

Last minute gift ideas for mom or Rawdog? We got you covered!

Last minute gift ideas for mom or Rawdog? We got you covered!

Moscow’s own super racist, anti-gay soccer fans want an all white, non-gay team to represent their community, and they also say they are not racist. New video today of Doing Stuff with Rawdog, where he tries to do an ollie on a skateboard, you can go see that tomfoolery on if you want. NMT year’s end round-up version today, being that this is the last Tuesday in this year of our Lord Wolfknives 2012. There’s also a new blog where Rawdog will be posting NMT playlists and writing other things for about a month or so before he gets bored with it and moves on to something else. To be honest, even though this was one of the shittiest years in music, it was also the best NMT we’ve heard in awhile. I think mainly because I’ve heard most of the songs on today’s list, or maybe it’s because we got to hear the guys’ and friends of the show favorite songs from 2012. Things got so exciting that Burger Ellis pissed on Big Daddy Jayce Cake’s jacket! Consider it payback for the broken leg. Fuck it, I’m done. Great news! Your mom won the “Classiest Lady In The Hood 2012” award when I overheard her say, “What’s the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can’t gargle with sand.” OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 11/7/2012

Well it is Wednesday again, and the white boy is back and he needs a yellow wrist band.  Ellis will remain incomplete as a man without this magical wrist band he dreams of.  Turns out his friend, former Backstreet Boy AJ McLean, happens to own a company that makes wrist bands with spikes n shit.  They should definitely hook up on that idea, and the idea of AJ appearing on the future Death! Death! Die! track ‘Butt Town’.  Fuck Yeah!  Speaking of Ellismate’s friends, Carey Hart hooked the wing up with a new place to get a trim called ‘The Shave’ and they hooked it up.  Carey Hart has such sweet hair too by the way.  Sorry got a little sidetracked, so Ellis wrote a new song, but not for the band, this ones for him.  It felt weird to him to work on a track by himself.  Tully can sympathize with that, after all he is the mastermind behind ‘Retrofit‘, get it up ya!  Tully’s goal all along is to just get one track played on Faction, who knew.  Ellis would prefer Boneyard which sounds like him, and good ol’ Rawdog wants his shit played on The Loft, though I don’t see Slingin’ Cream fitting in over there too well.  Good friend of the show THC said he heard Liquid Metal play a Death! Death! Die! track which is bad ass.  This article of Ellismate reviewing all the new dirt bikes in the 2013 450 Motocross Shootout is fucking sweet too!  You know what else is sweet, Ellismate found his prostate.  Well really Katie did, and Ellis confirmed for us all that it works like a champ.  Maybe a little too much, cause after you do it once, your an ass whore for life.  Speaking of ass whores, Jizz Cult got to make yet another button today after sabotaging the show, “Can You Dig It”.  He started working on the “Warriors, come out to play” button, but Jizz got out of the situation before we got that piece of radio gold.  Thats really all that happened from last night, that Ellis Tully and Rawdog can remeber…….

Final preparations for The Reckoning

Oh that and Rawdog has to suck a dead horse dick at The Reckoning soon, since we bow again to our lord Emperor Obama.  Ellismate played the audio  from the original bet for us and Rawdog to hear again for confirmation.  The Jingleberries debuted their new smash hit, ‘Kill a horse, suck it’s penis!”.  We also got a quick appearance from Rude Jude, and just in time to witness Rawdog practice on a 10″ piece of steak that Tully just happened to have brought for this occasion.  After some strong convincing to Rawdog he needed to practice to avoid falling flat on his ass shownight, we all got to hear young Josh choke his way and only get about an inch of it down.  #FuckTully said fuck that, and showed him how its done, taking at least a good 4″ before hitting the back of his throat.  Rawdog gave it another try, and damn near vomited it all up.  All in all, worst blow job ever!

Would have been easier if it was erect!

Pepsi has taking a huge step closer towards ruling the world, announcing they are releasing ‘Pepsi Special‘ in Japan, which will make you loose weight.  Coke appears to be working on a soda to make your more beautiful, no you are.  So since the election was last night, there is obviously a bunch of reaction, such as tweets from superstars like Terrible Ted Nugent, The Bean, Justin Bieber and even warlord Nick Swardson.  But none of them were as nuts as the shit spewed from the twitter mouth of one Donald Trump.  Is he serious, crazy or seriously crazy?  Who fucking knows, Ellis thinks he’s just keeping his name out there, but Tully wonders if dudes just loosing it or maybe he’s just pissed at the tax breaks he would have gotten with Mitt.  Trump did delete a few of those tweets, but clever Jizz Cult found ’em and read a few.  Basically dude wants to start a revolution, which would only be successful if you bring Rage Against the Machine and topless bitches in army pants dancing and shit.  Some other cool shit from last night’s erection, Colorado and Washington both legalized weed, Red Dragons!  Of course Tully found the additional language, which is the taxation of it.  It gets taxed 25% each time it passes from the grower to the processor, from the processor to the retailer, and yet again when passed to you.  Quick math on that, if you started with $100 of weed, it would be $195 when sold to you, damn near double!  Sounds just like something Obama would do, followed up by army enforced butt chugging tuesdays!


Government demonstrating the proper technique for Butt Chugging Tuesday

Nothing happened in Cookie News but we did get to hear the drop for it which has been long overdue.  Some shit happened in Cock News, turns out 1/3rd or British men can’t see their dicks, and rape kids with their balls.  A shit ton more happened in Doing Stuff With Rawdog.  Fuck man, we now know how to make chicken, chicken salad and a martini.  We can clean a gun and avoid an avalanche.  Thanks to Josh, all of us can tackle Ellis in football and make hash.  The Illusionist taught us how to use a breast pump and find our prostate.  Doc Banger banged us with knowledge of repairing a blown circuit breaker and he added to his sisters quest to get that damn raccoon out of the attic.  Bush Baby enlightened us on how you water ski and how to syphon gas out of a car.  We also got to hear him try to blow a bubble, whistle, snap, burp, fart and much more!


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The crew recapped a bunch of shit in Hollywood News from the past few weeks.  Kirstie Alley is a fat slut and C-Lo didn’t rape that bitch.  Ariel Winter was getting mind fucked by her mom.  Also some dude got the living shit beat out of him in front of a Hollywood night club.  Rawdog read some quotes from Joe Simpson’s gay lover in his video recap of the two’s affair, which were just disturbing.  Not as disturbing as this Portuguese gay dude and his castration of his 65 year old lover using a corkscrew, or the curing of aids he did with dudes nuts while walking the streets of Manhattan.  But enough of that shit, lets get back to Rawdog.  Tully and Ellis tried to teach him how to blow a bubble, which took us up to final calls, and Rawdog almost got it.  Turns out Josh is also extremely afraid of cartwheels, but thats a whole other story.  We heard from Sasquatch, whos a truck driver in Alberta and also from a caller who told us Halloween still hasn’t happened in some parts of NY and NJ due to the storms, but those were the only callers the show got as no one else called after that.  We did hear that Ellismate took about 2″ of finger in last nights escapades.  Thats of course a far cry from the 22″ of my arm that goes in your mom when Im fisting her gaped ass, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/30/2012

Hot chicks here, hot chicks there, but there are no hot chicks around you. Why, you ask? Because according to Rawdog there is only about 2,000 girls that rate a 10 in the entire world and chances are you don’t know her. Don’t fel bad, neither do I.  The big announcement yesterday was about the indoor truck series and how awesome it is going to be. Its like truck racing and moto had a bastard child and fed it Red Bulls. The talk turned to NASCAR and Jason, Tully, and Josh don’t seem to understand its popularity, but two million beer drinkin, burger eatin, Camel smokin americans can’t be wrong. And hockey, that too, except its Canadian and I don’t know what Canadians smoke. But non the less, they’re both great to have an ice cold brew to. Cheers.

Today was also the delayed New Music Tuesday, you can guess how that went, some good, some fucking aweful. I would go into more detail but that would mean I would have to remember it and living through it once was enough. Theres a new call screener, again. It appears we will have a new one every day this week, what fun. There was a new game played today also, The Ultimate Phone Caller! This is where two callers pretend to fight one another MMA style and pretend to win the pretend fight. It goes to show you that even lame bits that don’t really work can end up being funny.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday, and the topic was Worlds Richest Person Whos Face You’d Like To Punch, or something like that. And heres your list:

10.  I forget

9.  I missed it

8. I dont know

7. Sarah Jessicah Parker

6. Thom Yorke

5. Donald Trump (maybe)

4. Steven Seagal

3. Donald Trump (again, maybe)

2. Chad Kroeger

1. Eli Manning

And that is your Worlds Greatest Wednesday, sort of. Moving on, has a cross dressing scarf wearing pig on the loose, Affliction needs to go away, even the girls agree, Tapout is still cool, and the final callers weren’t too bad, suprisingly.

I apologise for some of the things I missed in this re-cap, the mobil app on my phone kept losing the data connection and I’m pretty sure it was because your moms ginormous gunt was blocking the 3G signal as she layed int he sun, OH!