Welcome to the end of the beginning, Ellis will be assassinated tonight but will resurrect to do a special edition dead man walking episode on Sunday, so be sure to tune in. Ellis went to the doctor for a checkup and the doc said he’s good in the hood yo! Do you remember the show when they talked about that one stuff that’s supposed to be awesome? Well if you don’t then I’m not going to tell you about the deer antler spray that came in today. Ladies and deer beware! Ellis went to Snooks school with Andrea for an arts and crafts show and had to guess which painting was her’s but then she told them later that it wasn’t hers and then a little while later she revealed that it was really hers. Apparently a bunch of people don’t like hearing Dom get shocked but Rawdog’s mom likes so everyone else can fuck right off. In political economics we learned that everyone needs a little communism. If you disagree please send your comments to JRichmond@siriusxm.com. They talked about the O&A show and the different shenanigans that they are up to and it sounds funny so check it out. Or don’t, see if I fucking care. This brought up the subject of show structure and if its good or bad. It was determined that a completely structured show is stressful and a pain in the ass but a show that is just off the cuff has a lot of room for nothing and could be bad. The way it is now with a little of both seems to be best in my own opinion. Josh’s high school reunion is this weekend and when this was brought up before the guys said he should bring a porn start with him. Imagine this, he’s dating a fucking porn star now! Problem solved, now he just needs to put “Titty Fucker” on his name sticker.
This Sunday is Mother’s Day, a holiday invented by Anna Jarvis to celebrate her moms life but it got all fucked up by card companies and greedy florists, so after spending half her life trying to create it, she spent the other half trying to get rid of it. So when you buy your mom flowers and cards just remember, you killed Anna Jarvis. This little story capped off the
Women Dumbasses, Am I Right? segment. A woman wrote to advice column asking if her dumb mother-in-law can make her child dumb by being around her. A man was speeding, and when pulled over there was nobody driving, while the police searched the area, the car took off. They pulled it over again, searched the area again, and the car took off again. The third time they finally found the dude hiding in the trunk. Congratulation dude for being the sweetest dude this week and congrats to the cops for being the dumbasses of the week. A Michigan woman stalked herself by creating a fake Facebook profile of her ex. Two buddies from prison had threesome and one dude stabbed the other dude because he wanted to get some of that sweet sweet tang. A 14 year old boy in Illinois hired a hooker online after his parents left him alone for the weekend, she robbed him. Maybe next time he will remember to use Angie’s List. A woman got pulled over for a DUI and told police she was celebrating getting her license back after her previous DUI arrest. Former Vice Mayor of Mount Carmel Tenessee was arrested for speeding and flashing his genitals at a number of women on the interstate. Red Dragons to you sir! And finally, a Texas mother delayed treatment of her son’s gunshot wound to the leg so she could check webmd. After all of this exciting news the guys had to determine who was going to get hit in the balls by a swinging ball and they decided this by playing Rock Paper Scissors. But Ellis had a trick up his Aussie sleeve, dynamite. I’ve never heard of it, nor did Tully or Josh but to be fair I decided to get some votes on whether it is legit or not so, vote here for yes, here for no.
A taco shop in Florida got in trouble for selling lion tacos, apparently they have a bit of overpopulation and lions go great with pico de gallo. Today was a great day, so great in
fact that they did another awe inspiring episode of Doin’ Stuff With Rawdog! Here is a list of some of the things he expertly explained in such a way that only the Tussin Wolf can. The proper way to put your boat in the water, how to barefoot water ski, how to bleed your brakes, how to make ketchup, how to wrap and ship a vase, how to treat and dress a gunshot wound to the leg, how to build a ramp, the proper way to put on and wear a cock ring, and how to give a neck to nuts back massage. Eventually this segment will be on a best of and then you can hear it for yourself because details like these cannot merely be written in words.
Randy Jackson said something about something that nobody really gives a shit about yo yo yo. The Rolling Stones are the worlds oldest babies. Brook Mueller wants to be in rehab with Lindsay but we all know the truth, she’s just a butt mule of Adderall. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made wine, correction, they hired a guy to make wine for them. But all jokes aside this is a great wine with slight after tones of strawberry pez and a smooth gluteny finish. Blubber the blee bla blo ptthhhhhh and Hogan and a sex tape and who fuckin cares. Teen moms porno has been released so if you want to see her kick a goal for teen moms everywhere, just visit the nearest spank bank in your hood. Lisa Lampanelli has done what science has deemed impossible, she got down to 140 pounds! Somebody brought up the subject of wine and being The Jason Ellis Show they held nothing back and told everyone the truth about wine, it sucks. The wine industry has convinced the world that piss and grape juice is delicious. Wine is for wonen and dudes that are like women, of you want to be a real man, drink beer and whiskey and rum and pass out in the front yard like your supposed to! That reminds me of the first time I did yer mum doggy style. It took six shots of tequila to get her to do it. Two to let me fuck her, and the other four to get her in the front yard barking like a dog! But that was a long time ago, now it takes six shots just to get her nasty naked ass back in the house, OH!
Oh, here’s that chick that shook her money makers at a hockey ref.