Show Re-Cap for Thursday 7/11/2013

Devon Ellis! You better not be reading this or we’re going to tell your mummy and daddy, young lady!


Hide yo kids, hide yo’ wives, cuz NYA is ruining young minds up in hurr!

It’s Thursday and people are testing my shit, what’s up with that shit, huh? Fuckin’ hell. Space helmets, Prometheus robot sticking a finger in your drink, and World War Z idiot. I don’t know what any of that is about (thanks work) and next thing I knew they were talking about having crazy gills, being able to swim like a dolphin, looking like an old shriveled ball sack, and swimming at the bottom of the ocean. Aquaman and old fish people could not swim as fast as a shark. So, everybody good and lost like me? Fantastic! Let’s see how much more I can miss because people are fucktarded. When’s the last time you hung out with an old guy and he wasn’t an ex-marine? Rawdog thinks he’ll be a cool old person and thinks he’s an “old soul” plus he likes camomile tea. Ellis’ ex, Andrea, thinks Ellis is racist against the Jews, but in reality he only hates Rawdog and her ex-boyfriend.


Rawdog leaving Nana’s house.

Rawdog thinks his sister, Dumb-Dumb Snaggle-Tooth, is smart – like all the Jewish girls he knows or ever met, including his mother and Nana. He also thinks Asians are generally smart, but he can’t explain why they can’t drive and there are no Asian Nascar champs – go figure. Tully, on the other hand, thinks Albanians are stupid, genetically pre-disposed to be dumb as fuck. Remember yesterday how Ellis talked about his daughter seeing some stuff online? Yeah, well, turns out No You Are might be partially to blame for that. So uh… sorry about that! Makes sense though. NYA is written by a bunch of 8 year-olds. KACHOW! Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen and move on, cool? Cool. So uh, you on some of that d-ball son? It’s slang for “Duribol” which is an anabolic steroid typically injected in your ass.


What’s more terrifying, old people or Freddy Krueger?


Rawdog & his girlfriend have his & her towels.

There’s a new anti-gay law in Russia, if you have any kind of homosexual propaganda and you could be fined and spend time in the polar clink. What’s even more weird is that unbeknownst to Rawdog, his girlfriend texted Ellis to ask him not to do anything to Rawdog’s cock and balls anymore now that he’s using them more. Ellis wants to have an Alice In Chains party and play more Alice In Chains on Faction. So the guys went through a bunch of their songs and picked out several to be put in rotation. This moved into some Elvis Costello song searching, but just for a bit because there’s just not enough time to delve into his deep tracks. When I suggested more Oingo Boingo and Rawdog agreed, it earned him a dick punch and me another lashing from Ellis and Will. So far today NYA has been bad and now me, I swear, this is not how my mother raised me! Corey Taylor (Slipknot) has a new book out that deals with the supernatural. It’s called: “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven: (Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process)” God damn that’s a long title. Brian Stann has retired from the UFC. That’s enough news for you, now it’s time for the Google auto-complete game that you don’t get to play, so there! I’ll tell you this much, Ellis and Rawdog have both gotten plane boners before, on long plane rides with some vibration and viola, they had plane boners. We were all having lots of fun with the game. And then Mayhem walked into the studio and brought that shit to a loud, screeching, halt.


Me yelling at Mayhem, who is yelling on the radio.

After a break and prepping for Mayhem’s antics, we came back to Hollywood news. Luckily for you, I was stuck in traffic so you’re going to get the abriged version. Justin Bieber peed in a mop bucket, Lil Twist got nabbed for DUI with a blunt in his hand, Joe Rogan has a new show on SciFi, and then there was some other stuff. The leader of the Church of Scientology, yeah, his wife has been missing since 2007 – nobody knows where the hell she’s at or heard from her and anyone who asks about her is told that it’s none of their business. Sounds legit. Johnny Depp wants to buy the Wounded Knee site and give it back to the Oglala Sioux Tribe. Jason Ellis’ mom (technically, he’s Hollywood, right?) texted him to say she just watched the Howard Stern interview with him and says she never protected his father or something. There’s a new movie out called Sharknado, it’s on TV tonight, and it’s full of C and B movie stars. This movie makes me think the guys should make Jewclone. It’s a cyclone full of the Jews in the Holocaust, sounds pretty good right? What about a porno called Jewkkake? No? Fine.


Even still, nobody likes Jar-Jar.

Mayhem has a new clothing line and he wants to sponsor Ellis, the deal? Ellis will do it as long as Mayhem never tweets Dana White again, ever. No deal, of course. And that pretty much wraps up today’s recap. Thanks for stopping by and reading, we hope you return tomorrow for another exciting recap filled with laughter, important life lessons, and factually true stories like this one. Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first cowboy says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.” The second cowboy can’t stand to be bested. “Why that’s nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I’m still here today.” The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/23/2013

Fucking Yamaha, I knew it!

Fucking Yamaha, I knew it!

What else would The Wing wanna do on a Wednesday, but ride a bull and be a cowboy.  Oh, and of course shout out to the man, the myth, the ledge Chad Reed…who’s currently in 3rd place overall, just ahead of TotoMotoPoto and Dungey.  Of course its gotta be due to his sabotage tactics, reminiscent of the Cold War or any 80’s movie.  He better have that shit handy if he ever faces Spider Man at next year’s A-1, that dudes got skills.  Death! Death! Die! got skills too, and laid down a fresh track last night, didn’t get to hear it yet, but were all wet with anticipation!  Of course the real task was reading Shoebox’s graffiti lyric sheet.  That reminds me, FUCK Revolver Magazine, and the Dallas Cowboys while were at it!  Just please never trust an awards show, or a Canadian who lives in -41 degree weather, again!  That goes for Beyonce too, stupid Milli Vanilli acting bitch.  Also, don’t trust anyone who owns an automatic weapon, but isn’t cool with them being banned or controlled, or some sketchy shit like that.  More gun talk, and some video of a dude who says kids won’t be allowed to own turtles if we ban assault rifles, but I couldn’t find it and it wasn’t that riveting.



Happy BDay Tully's Mom!

Happy BDay Tully’s Mom!

Hollywood News is always riveting, and so is Johnny Deep’s ex girl friend, who’s fucking some new chic, yup!  Arnold is more interested in fucking his old chic, lizard lips.  Speaking of Arnold, turns out Rawdog saw The Last Stand recently, and said it was damn good despite his gut going into the movie, and that it was only like 10th ranked after its opening weekend in box office sales.  What was #1?  Your Mama, seriously it was.  Of course none of those are a match for The Jew Box.  Ellis gave us a in depth recap of this masterpiece, starring Matisyahu, and whoever else is in the fucking movie.  Sounded good to me, especially the ‘Jew Buzzer’ scene, so be sure to get it up ya!  Do you know the difference between a Jew and a canoe?  Snoop Lion doesn’t know the first thing about being a Rasta, or so says Bunny Wailer.  Lindsay Lohan doesn’t know the first thing about a lot of things, plus she ain’t selling out either.  Adele isn’t selling out her kid or his name, shes just too stupid to pull it off is all.  Shia LaBeouf ain’t selling or sharing any of the shit he scored on the set of his next movie.  And last but certainly not least, please don’t follow @jew_box on twitter, dude called the show and its pretty fucking creepy.


A.K.A. EllisMate beating that pussy up yo!

A.K.A. EllisMate beating that pussy up yo!

Check this muthafucker here out, naked on a roof, jumps off roof, breaks into home, jerks it on rug, shits on sidewalk, rubs himself over kids clothes n shit, oh and it took place in Florida!  Jim Florentine took his place in Florida, after being 18 and laid only twice, he nailed a smoking hot chic first day in Florida.  He stayed for 2 years!  So what’s Jim been up to these days, who the fuck knows as he and Tully just spent the next hour comparing Ellismate’s sexual adventures lately, to hall of fame baseball careers such as Ted Williams, Randy “Big Unit” Johnson, and of course knuckleballer R.A. Dickey (Who has a long way to go to the HOF – just saying).  From 3-2 counts to inside-the-park home runs, Florentine and Tully fucking lost me on this one, but hilarious none the less.  Apparently Jim’s also big into asking his buddies for advice on the best moves to put on their ex hook ups.  Hey man, if you know a trick she loves, hook me up with that info homie.  And if you know a chic who’s cool with you shitting out a nugget, while having sex, I don’t fucking believe you for one second!  Of course Jim wasn’t here to talk about that, though you could have fooled me, instead he will take part in the Roast of Dee Snider, tomorrow night at 9pm ET on  But enough about Jim, whats Ellis been up to?  How about shoving 18 gauge needles in his ass and getting fake Canadian birth certificates, Red Dragons to you my friend.


Find out on TJES!

Find out on TJES!

We found out Rawdog ain’t alone in his love of large areolas.  One Jim Florentine gave our furry friend the nod of approval when hearing the news.  Does that mean Robin Quivers has huge nip nips?  One can only dream….about this nasty bitch from Boston, who beats her man for fa’ting in the bed, the nod, while singing her smash hit with Ellismate, “Ha’d to Fa’t” – which was lame, but no where near as creepy as WesleyPipes-tallica.  Dick dog just wasn’t made for that riff, but the Ellis show is made for Jew jokes, needle talk, areolas and of course, shitting out nuggets while fucking some broad….or selling a BMW too, that’s kinda gnarly.  Jew Joke:  This kid asks his dad for fifty bucks, so the Jewish dad says “Forty bucks, what do you need Thirty bucks for?”   If that didn’t sell you on listening tomorrow On Demand, then how about inverted nipples, hairy nipples, and of course skittles popping out of nipples.  No, then its gotta be the baseball/Ellis sex life that has you intrigued.  For me, I personally am a huge fan of the Jew jokes, including my favorite joke about your mom…..she’s a Jew…..a ‘Load Jew’, OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 12/7/2012

Hey mother fuckers it’s time to jump over shit cuz it’s Friday! You know what the Swinghouse needs, a skate ramp sponsored by Slurpee, so Ellis can do his sick ass skateboard moves during the breaks or when ever he damn well feels like. Will’s voice is shot, probably karma getting back at him for sabotaging the buttons. Little Willy Cupcake defended himself in a hilarious mickey mouse during puberty fashion. The guys had a little advice for Rawdog to ease his performance issues during the Wreckoning. Mainly get

The Dolce Diet, apples and nuts!

drunk but not too drunk, like my prom date and she did fine. Ellis’s new maid was finding tiger turds and poopies everywhere, I’m not sure why but in these situations I find it best to not ask any questions. Ellis is also eating eating apple and nuts in accordance with the Dolce Diet. They said something about The Grateful Dead and Jason’s new intern, Lord Sear, the white Canadian one, is kicking ass, just so you know. The UFC goes up to 8% gay with fashion style and flair, and UFC guys fight, cry, something, something, broken bones, mad respect. Some South African chick called in who used to bar fight and wants to fight now but won’t shut the fuck up and probably knows Donald Schultz. Dana White is willing to have an all girl ultimate fighter season. There would probably be less crying and bitchy drama than this season.

Hollywood News, Lindsay Lohan is on bus with Wanted, I don’t know who the fuck they are wither but they probably have coke. The Notorious B.I.G.’s autopsy was released, surprise surprise, he died of gun shot wounds. War should be hand 2 hand? Brazil would kick everyone’s ass and then we would all have massive parades with trannies and girls with great asses. Nicole Kidman’s beaver was mentioned, so here it is. She peed on Zack Effron in a recent movie and that sparked the conversation of who would you like to be peed on? Rose Mgowan, Taylor Swift, Gwen Stephanie, Matt Damon? There was a lot of pee talk which is why I’m now in the bathroom writing this. That’s better. Kidman spoke to Dijour about Tom Cruze and their break up and how it made her sad and shit. Speaking of shit (segway), wanna be bros with Johnny Depp? Just sew your mouth to his ass, then he will be your bro for life! Devito and Perelman working on their marriage and love guru, Taylor Swift doesn’t know how to make relationships work.  Breaking News, Corona Dave spotted the Ellis impostor pumping gas while Elvis washed the windshield.

Here is the entire recap of Tully’s “Women, am I right?” segment. Some chick has Bigfoot DNA, dumbass. A physical therapist becomes double jointed arm wrestling. A 19 year old Nebraska teen stole a car, robbed a bank,  and then put it all on youtube. A  couples 3-some ends in gunshots after the dudes wife falls asleep and wakes to see her hubby tagging the other chick. A 60 year old Florida woman got lubed with olive oil but then asked for Pam and her boyfriend admitted to fucking Pam, she has a boat. A 27 year old Tennessee woman called rape because of bad sex. A Florida girl threatened her date with a kitchen knife and smashed his windows because shes a crazy bitch. Another Florida woman robbed man while having sex while driving, Reddragons to you sir. An Illinois woman hit tree because she was drunk and wanted to see the twilight movie. A woman cut up her boyfriend for taking the last colt 45, gangster. A mom and daughter duo are Fmaking porn together, keep it in the family. A woman burned down her house in fear of ghosts, and possible attic raccoons.  A woman claims to be allergic to wifi. A husband, his wife, and her sister went out and upon returning the girls got into a fight and the sister bit off the wife’s nose. And hoarder has 100 frozen cats, some a little more liquidy than others.

Now thats’ some cold pussy!

Prime minister huge tits declared .end of world so there will be a shortage of Vegimite in the next couple weeks. Don’t forget about Ellis’s auction to hang out with the guys and then go to a strip club and get knee jacked by a law student. Some gay kid in jersey wants an easy bake oven but they only make them in pink and purple. Waaaaaa. And finally, Final calls (conveniently named). Final calls were surprisingly good. They talked about tits, tittys, boobs, sweater meat, fun bags, balloon smugglers, bazoongas, bongos, flappers, love melons, nippleoons, zingers, rib cushions, pompoms, and moo moos. Ellis also made a bet with Josh on the UFC fights this weekend. If Josh gets all 4 cards correct and wins the coin toss (2 out of 3), Ellis will join josh at The Wreckoning slobbing know on some equestrian erection. Then there was talk about moto, lesbians  the friend zone, butt chugging addictions and the eerie silence of confusion, just like yer mums gynecologist makes as he stares into the abyss of her enormous hole of doom, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 3/7/2012

Chelsea Handler staying frostyYou know the start of the show, multiple topics. But the first big one was about the show’s fame and followers versus Chealsea Handler, which I think is kind of a silly comparison. For one, she’s on TV – how do you compare that to radio? Another thing is the fact that she’s female and not bad looking (not including the very not flattering picture I posted to the right), sex sells and it’s typically a woman that reaches the broadest audiences, rather than a male sex figure. Of course there’s also that whole speculation that she’s fucked her way to the top. I don’t think radio hosts will ever be as “known” or popular as people on TV or in movies. Howard Stern is well known, sure, but I think even his fame has declined a bit, especially when you think of someone like Johnny Depp. Depp has to make more money and is more relevant than Stern, especially when you start factoring in endorsements, commercials, etc. Anyway, this is kind of dumb as there is no comparison to be had here, so let’s keep this train a rollin’.

Uriah HeepUrijah Faber, I couldn’t give two shits about what he said on TUF, so instead I’ll talk about Uriah Heep for a second. When’s the last time you heard that song “Easy Living”? That’s gotta be their biggest hit, right? You know those fuckers are still making music? Me neither. Also, it has been confirmed that this Friday will be the last morning show as they will be moving to their normal afternoon time on Fridays.

As almost always on Wednesday’s, we play #WGW and today’s topic was World’s Greatest Thing You Can Do With $2000. And as usual, here’s the top 10 in order of their placing:

  1. Moose with a Top HatBuy a top hat, a shitload of Jack Daniels, and shoot a moose
  2. Demolition derby with four $500 cars
  3. Getting wasted, getting a hooker, rocking out to Limp Bizkit, and have the hooker “shave all my friends tonight”
  4. Stay frosty for 36 hours
  5. Hire an army of homeless people (or trannies) and have them reenact Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” in Beverly Hills
  6. Shitting on a Chik-Fil-A out of a helicopter
  7. Get Cumtard drunk and pay a tranny rape him (but won’t be rape because he’ll be drunk and willing)
  8. Buy a Pontiac Fiero
  9. Record a track with somebody from The Flipmode Squad
  10. Super 8 motel, tacos, beer, and hookers

And with that, I bid you adieu my frosty friends. There’s not much more for me to talk about, well, besides the fact that your mother loves to go ass to mouth. OH!