The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 3)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 3rd round that we can send off for The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like these previous rejoins!

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption

Women of EllisFam Rejoin


And now, part 3 of the new recordings…

B-Rip (by: wiz1010)

You Sexy Bastid (by: tank_yanker)

A Lot Like Herpes (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Scat (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Sexual Orientation (by: Cody_McCraw92)

Side Effects Include (by: Cody_McCraw92)

TJES, Cougar Approved (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Clit Off My Box (by: Scarlet_Kitty)

Bumpy Banana (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, Hitler (by: Lugoman43)

Thanks, N-Bomb (by: Lugoman43)

It’s Tough To Choose (by: serutti)

Cable (by: serutti)

Jew Bell (by: sharkchucker)

All That Pussy Rawdog Smashes (by: bitPimps)

I Got Super Powers (by: bitPimps)

Smoke Weed Everyday (by: NorCalRowe)

Bom Da Boo Poo (by: NorCalRowe)


The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded (Part 2)

Remember when The Jingleberries put out a call for recordings? Well, we’re doing a 2nd round that we can send off for the The Jingleberries to work their magic on, while we sit back and hope it gets played on the air. Like this rejoin @bitPimps re-wrote, @sharkchucker recorded, @Jingleberries mixed, and @EllisMate said “might be the greatest rejoin. Ever, made… ever!”

Shawshank Rejoin (by: sharkchucker)

Allegedly Official Awesome Original Shawshank Redemption (by: Anonymous)

There was another drop of most all of us, but I don’t have a recording of it. If any of you do, please let me know so I can post it here.

Update 3/27/2013: Here’s another rejoin consisting of some of the clips below. Mixed by @Jingleberries, recorded by @emilyinSD, @mrsjessliv, @Scarlet_Kitty, and @bitPimps

Women of EllisFam Rejoin


And now, part 2 of the new recordings…

Shawshank – I Hope (by: sharkchucker)

Handsome Cock Is Live (by: sharkchucker)

Public Service Announcement (by: sharkchucker)

One for the Oil Patch Workers (by: bitPimps)

AIDs Callers Are Out There (by: bitPimps)

Hero (by: bitPimps)

Tanya’s Wet Pussy (by: bitPimps)

Ass Tattoo (by: bitPimps)

Lacey Diddles (by: bitPimps)

RawBot Sex (by: bitPimps)

Tully’s Smart (by: bitPimps)

Ya Hoser (by: thegooser)

Caller (by: thegooser)

Intelligent Conversation (by: thegooser)

EllisMania.com (by: thegooser)

Pooooooop (by: thegooser)

The Real Question (by: thegooser)

Prize Chamber Canadian Version (by: thegooser)

I Am In You (by: thegooser)

The Hole (by: thegooser)

For bitPimps (by: thegooser)

I Don’t Always Touch Myself (by: emilyinSD)

Perfectly Proportioned Cocks (by: emilyinSD)

Rub One Out (by: mrsjessliv)

Snowball the Fuck Out of Those Buttchuggers (by: mrsjessliv)

I Like To Be Stimulated Orally (by: Scarlet_Kitty)


Show Re-Cap for Thursday 2/28/2013

Fuck the man!  Thursday’s just as good as any day to do just that, Fuck the man!  Ellis took part and showed up 2 minutes late, Fuck you man!  Remember how like 5 years ago Ellis was hot shit on myspace?  Shit Tully said its difficult to find a clip without The Wing plugging the shit out it.  It’s still kinda like that now, well with Twitter, Instagram and Telly – but again, Fuck The MAN!  So what else, Ellismate’s been getting to bed earlier so he can get up when Tiger n Devin do.  Speaking of Mr. McPiggles, Ellis said he was in tears cause he asked to be a freestyle moto dude but Big Daddy said no, well when he’s 18 maybe.  Tully played devil’s advocate, asking if Tiger wanted to do mega ramp, and it was more deadly than it currently is, what if then?  Its a good point, much like the kick returner in the NFL verse playing as a kid in little league – just depends, risk verse reward.  Shit changes, shit gets heavy, Fuck The Man!  To Fuck  or Not To  Fuck Hatebreed, that is the question?  Yeah the topic arose again, which brought up a good point again by Oxford, just bring him on cause of TJES controversy around Hatebreed.  Well Ellis went to the callers, cause of course the fucking callers aren’t morons, and the votes were official, Fuck Hatebreed, Fuck The Man, and look for Rainn Wilson riffing with Rawdog and the crew soon!

 

In case you didn't know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)

In case you didn’t know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)

 

Some shit about this 9 year old kid rapper, so  go ahead and get that up ya. So who’s on twitter that ain’t following @mike_in_canada?  Well he sent in an idea to Tully, ‘ey, and Fuck The Man we played a game today kids.  Guess which Rock n Roll rumors are True, False or Who Gives a Shit!  Aight so there’s not a ton to write really, and mostly cause I was just zoned listening and didn’t really jot my notes – but again, that just means it was radio gold my friends.  Ok so Led Zepplin tied up and fucked some bitch with a shark, an octopus, whatever they  had back in those days.  Of course the David  Bowie and Mick Jagger incident.  John Lennon fucked  mad dudes and Yoko called him  out of the closet.  The Beatles smoked weed at Buckingham Palace and their dentist slipped them LSD in hopes of an orgy.  Jimi Hendrix was abducted by the mob while on heroin, and didn’t even  know it happened.  The whole Vanilla Ice Sooge Knight thingy and finally Marilyn Manson and Trent Rezner fucked some groupies bush out while on fire.  So if any of that interests you to be true or false or whatever the fuck, go back n check it out!  And if that don’t do it for you, how about a sweet new Jingleberries song about Tully shitting in a washing machine, yup!

 

Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog been talking some shit, but first check out this gnarly fucking Sea Lamprey found in New Jersey!  And second, one of the two assistant dudes, the shoebox dude, he’s now Anal Day Lewis, so that’s whats up.  OK, so Rawdog says he knows more about music that Katie does, and Ellis calls bullshit.  Maybe Ellis is just calling BS cause Katie’s his girl, or maybe  he knows something Rawdog doesn’t.  Either way shit’s gotta be settled and for cash n prizes, well you know.  If Katie wins, get ready for Rawdog verse Katie at EllisMania 9!  If Rawdog wins, well I wasn’t sure but it was something out of fart on her, grope her, spiderman her.  Well before we get to the battle, lets see what Katie’s got for the new punching machine.  Her first attempt fucking sucked ass, a 16.  But she bounced back and got a nice 45 to top Cumtard, who immediately whined his way into another shot for himself only to drop a 36 and continue his legacy.  Oh, and the other intern assistant guy (I guess there’s 2 dudes now, huh) he’s Fruitler which is an Australian American term for a fruity Hitler looking motha fucker.  Will JizzCult Pendarvis III had 20 questions, and folks let me tell you, this will definitely without a doubt like your mom next to a cock garunted she sucks it be on Best Of real soon.  Heres the scoring as I had it:  Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie, Rawdog (3-2 Katie so far), Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie Katie (That’s now 11-2, still Katie by the way), both got it wrong, Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie!   So basically Ellis Mania 9 just got fucking sicker and I just successfully name dropped @underwearwolf like 20 times!

 

 

Picture 1

This guy follows @mike_in_canada for sure, ‘ey!

Did you know that Ikea furniture is in the horse meat game?  So Chuck from Eat At Carlos, get it – asked Ellismate what kind of custom calzone he and the boys would like?  Well we all know this is a dream segment for TJES, and for us the target demographic, ya know dumb fatass Americans, so what is your dream calzone?  How about an Ellis favorite spaghetti n meatball calzone, or perhaps the breakfast calzone with hash in it.  You could get the Tully inspired Thanksgiving calzone, or maybe your a chocolate n Vanilla ice cream calzone like Rawdog.  Whatever your into, get it up ya!  If your into Twitter, then get @mike_in_canada up ya cause he strikes again, summoning the one and only GodWar to the show to play one his games for prizes, well by prizes really but its fun.  This time GodWar hummed the rifs to popular rock songs, in reverse and reversed those or whatever the fuck he does, dudes weird really.  Anyways Godwar did it again, no one reached the prize chamber, not even ol’ GhostLoad, ‘cept for one dude at the very end who nailed the last one despite its difficulty, so shout out to you dude whoever you may be!

 

How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar

How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar

 

Not much in the way of Hollywood News, so we’ll just update you on Lindsay Lohan and call it a day.  She told the man, Hey Fuck You Man (She must listen to the show or at least read the recaps), and is headed to court, cause she don’t wanna go to rehab.  Oh and coincidentally the Green Day dude is out of rehab and said it sucked.  Tully says dudes in rehab smoke cigarettes above the knuckle, I think its code for take it up the ass but I could be wrong.  Ellis is in a Fuck Off mood, but loves ya #FullHomo, but seriously Fuck Off!  That could only mean one thing, yup – Placenta Talk on The Jason Ellis Show!  Oh boy some dude’s wife put placenta into pills so she can take them 4 times a day, Woman Am I Right?  Tully kept Linsanity’s umbilical cord for like 8 months in the butter dish, and conveniently says all women from Wisconsin are bush pigs.  The Used will be in concert tomorrow night in LA, and Ellis will be there, rocking WolfKnife attire perhaps.  No alone time with The Wing on Final Calls, in fact, Tully pretty much took over from here.  Remember the boss who asked Tully for advice on how to get his workers motivated without options to really replace them – And Oxford told him to fire like a 10th of his workforce, ya know trim the fat, and dude called back and damn if it didn’t work like a charm.  Tully also called out some bitch who called in saying her man was scared to cum insider her even though she said she’s on the pill – when he asked her if she were to get pregnant, would she want to keep it?  She jumped at her chance to answer yes, sounding sketchy as all hell leading Ellismate to tell dude to run for his life, and sparking the catch phrase “In the Bum, No Babies!”.  That’s what I keep telling your grandma, but she insists her box fell out 20 years ago and I got nothing to worry about, sounds like a set up to me, OH!

The Jingleberries Will Make You Famous, Or Look Fucktarded, One Of The Two

The Jingleberries (@Jingleberries) put a call out for all us idiots! Should you want your voice and whatever shit you got to say about “The Jason Ellis Show” or “Jason Ellis” can be sent to them, and you just might make it on-air.

And since I’m an idiot, I made a few audio files myself. I have no idea what I’m doing and all I have is a shit mic from 1992. But, I don’t know what to send to The Jingleberries. So, why don’t you give them a listen and you can tell me which ones I should send off for their review and mockery.

Update: So this has grown to be way cooler than expected! Below are some of the drops listener’s have made. From people such as @bitPimps, @AZ_RedDragon, @CrackerStacker6, @thegooser, and @sharkchucker. Enjoy!
But before that, here’s an “Unsigned Fart” by @cogdeth on the ass and @sharkchucker on vocals!
Burbank Dave

Test Your Manliness (by: bitPimps)

Honkeys-N-Crackers (by: bitPimps)

Do Things With Stuff! (by: bitPimps)

Fucking Stupid (by: bitPimps)

Sidewalk Chalk (by: bitPimps)

Thicker & Fuller (by: bitPimps)

Straight Outta Tarzana (by: bitPimps)

More Smarter (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Write Stuff Too (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Flush (by: AZ_RedDragon)

It’s Fuckin’ Embarrassing (by: CrackerStacker6)

Neglecting My Family (by: CrackerStacker6)

Jewish Boy (by: bitPimps)

No Playing (by: bitPimps)

Pitchfork (by: bitPimps)

Offspring (by: bitPimps)

Hey, Hey, Tony Hawk (by: bitPimps)

Cackle (by: bitPimps)

Get Off Your Mum (by: thegooser)

Long Time Listener, First Time Caller (by: thegooser)

Ellis Can Help (by: thegooser)

What Load? (by: thegooser)

Load Toes (by: thegooser)

Accidentally the Whole Thing (by: bitPimps)

Market News (by: bitPimps)

Burbank Dave (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Gonna Fuckin’ Shoot (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Morons (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Not As Sticky (by: AZ_RedDragon)

Check Out My Big Ole Titties (by: sharkchucker)

Prize Chamber (by: sharkchucker)

Dick (by: sharkchucker)

Well Informed (by: sharkchucker)

New Music Tuesday (by: sharkchucker)

Facebook (by: sharkchucker)

JizzEllis (by: sharkchucker)

Southern Gentleman (by: sharkchucker)

Shawshank (by: sharkchucker)

A Warning (by: thegooser)


Show Re-cap For Wednesday 1/16/2013

35w1xqSo Cullen put together another nice Best of, but that was yesterday.  Today is live bitches!!!   Yeah so Ellismate’s been sick the past couple of days, he just didn’t want to get Tully and Rawdog sick, I mean fuck Will right?  On top of being sick, the Wing also dropped his new iPhone 5 in the pool, Tiggy’s sick too and saying ‘Hell Yeah’, and that of course means the ex ain’t to happy either.  But all us fans is happy we got us a live show today, and that we got to hear DavidLeeRothtallica today, stemming from this vocal only track of ol’ Diamond Dave doing Running With The Devil.  Ok I was kidding, who gives a fuck about him, back to the show.  Tully says Linsanity is officially smarter than a dog while Rawdog has still been going to the gym and says his pecks feel firm, wanna touch?  Burger Ellis has been pissing everywhere and eating carpet, yup!  And your boy Young Wing not only had a credit card cancelled for some bullshit reason, but he also had to hear some moronic callers swearing you can put a cut onion in a room with you, and it will suck up the aids and gay in the air.  Grandma also says you can cut up potatoes and put them in a sock, rock your little potato necklace, and get mad bitches but no herpes.  This same tactic is often used by Kayne West, who was caught on tape being a douche bag while Samuel Jackson and Spike Lee were being bigger douche bags, its about 30 seconds in.  Oh, and Jay-Z hugged Tully this one time, thats about it.

 

 

Why You Don't Beat It On XMas Day!

Why You Don’t Beat It On XMas Day!

So what will Rawdog buy Tully and Ellis with his Trust Fund, which is due at age 35?  Nothing, he’s Jewish, OH!  Just kidding, but seriously the Jingleberries are some bitches (That we love and respect!) for retracting on Rawdog’s shitty beard as man-boy-ly as it may be.  Pornhub.com is full of bitches, doing some really cool shit too, and they say these are the 11 days of the year that we ain’t jerking it…using a computer!  So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week?  Yeah well it wasn’t Stupid Tits who was back on the show to preform his infamous impressions.  If you’ve never heard of Stupid Tits, he’s a former intern who’s metal as fuck, and if you’ve never heard him do an impression, well you must go back and check this out.  Spot on Mitt Romney, Jackie Chan, Jenny Lopez ass and all, James Bond and not the shitty David Craig one either!  This dude sent chills down our spines with the likes of Hulk Hogan, Batman while chowing Catwoman’s carnival, Dracula chowing whoevers beave, and of course Rawdog who is the king of eating pussy as we all know.  Some hilarious shit here to hear, and a Stupid Tits side note, he’s no longer in All Gods Kill but instead front man for Lazarus Casket, check him out!

 

 

 

Metal As Fuck

Metal As Fuck

So remember that special guest Ellis was referring to last week?  Yeah well it was former Metallica bassist, and current shredding ledge, Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Jason Newsted.  Honest opinion folks, fucking bad ass interview here and worth every minute of your time.  Ellis and Newsted just flipped it back and forth…12 years tomorrow when Newsted left Metallica….Newsted’s proud of Ellis for that shark heart eating incident….no shooting elk at Newsted’s place…Newsted eats left overs….yeah don’t let that last one throw ya, good radio here.  Oh, and of course, Unsigned Bands!  But this wasn’t any ordinary Unsigned Bands, no this time we had actual advice and help and shit, it was weird!  Just a few that we heard from, ‘Teleport’ with that micro penis dude from Vermont, ‘The Wad’ from Puerto Rico or there abouts, ‘Young General’ who’s lawyer sent in the tape, ‘Rusty Hook‘ who’s not that bad, and legends in the unsigned bands game ‘Cuddle Crew‘.  Jason Newsted really gave some legitimate advice to these fuckers, and one last band of note, Death!Death!Die!.  Yeah Tully slipped in “Pain of Time”, and Jason Newsted gave it honest review, and yes Shoebox the vocals are too low!  He did justify why it was low, had to be for the guitar or some nerdy shit good reason.  He also said the singer was pretty good, and the dude on keyboards fucking killed it.  Be sure to check out the “Metal” EP and NewstedHeavyMetal.com.

 

 

#FuckTullyHellYeah

#FuckTullyHellYeah

Obama said fuck you to Star Wars!  Donald Schultz says fuck you to the blicks, but thats in a best of somewhere.  Today was live, and so were the animals Schultz brought in for Ellis ‘Snake Box’ he’s been envisioning.  Schultz and his boy Mark, from The Reptile Outlet who came in to help, say a big snake isn’t ideal for this box as they’re too hard to care for.  Nah Mate, how about this “friendly spider”?  Its a huge tarantula, with 1/2″ fangs which suck out the insides of beetles like slurpee’s.  Well picture that in a tank, hanging from the ceiling, with webs inside of skulls and shit, just starring at you with those straws for teeth, and tell me its friendly. Seriously though this thing doesn’t bite humans, just insects and male spiders, fucks them up bad like!  No name for our furry friend yet, but its sounds like she will be a huge part of the show to come.  I do however have a name for our furry friend who also is huge, and can suck the cum out of anyone with her straw like fangs, its Your Mom, OH!