Show Re-Cap for Thursday 2/28/2013

Fuck the man!  Thursday’s just as good as any day to do just that, Fuck the man!  Ellis took part and showed up 2 minutes late, Fuck you man!  Remember how like 5 years ago Ellis was hot shit on myspace?  Shit Tully said its difficult to find a clip without The Wing plugging the shit out it.  It’s still kinda like that now, well with Twitter, Instagram and Telly – but again, Fuck The MAN!  So what else, Ellismate’s been getting to bed earlier so he can get up when Tiger n Devin do.  Speaking of Mr. McPiggles, Ellis said he was in tears cause he asked to be a freestyle moto dude but Big Daddy said no, well when he’s 18 maybe.  Tully played devil’s advocate, asking if Tiger wanted to do mega ramp, and it was more deadly than it currently is, what if then?  Its a good point, much like the kick returner in the NFL verse playing as a kid in little league – just depends, risk verse reward.  Shit changes, shit gets heavy, Fuck The Man!  To Fuck  or Not To  Fuck Hatebreed, that is the question?  Yeah the topic arose again, which brought up a good point again by Oxford, just bring him on cause of TJES controversy around Hatebreed.  Well Ellis went to the callers, cause of course the fucking callers aren’t morons, and the votes were official, Fuck Hatebreed, Fuck The Man, and look for Rainn Wilson riffing with Rawdog and the crew soon!


In case you didn't know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)

In case you didn’t know who Rainn Wilson is (On the left!)


Some shit about this 9 year old kid rapper, so  go ahead and get that up ya. So who’s on twitter that ain’t following @mike_in_canada?  Well he sent in an idea to Tully, ‘ey, and Fuck The Man we played a game today kids.  Guess which Rock n Roll rumors are True, False or Who Gives a Shit!  Aight so there’s not a ton to write really, and mostly cause I was just zoned listening and didn’t really jot my notes – but again, that just means it was radio gold my friends.  Ok so Led Zepplin tied up and fucked some bitch with a shark, an octopus, whatever they  had back in those days.  Of course the David  Bowie and Mick Jagger incident.  John Lennon fucked  mad dudes and Yoko called him  out of the closet.  The Beatles smoked weed at Buckingham Palace and their dentist slipped them LSD in hopes of an orgy.  Jimi Hendrix was abducted by the mob while on heroin, and didn’t even  know it happened.  The whole Vanilla Ice Sooge Knight thingy and finally Marilyn Manson and Trent Rezner fucked some groupies bush out while on fire.  So if any of that interests you to be true or false or whatever the fuck, go back n check it out!  And if that don’t do it for you, how about a sweet new Jingleberries song about Tully shitting in a washing machine, yup!


Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog during his ass whipping from Katie, with a Horse Cock.

Rawdog been talking some shit, but first check out this gnarly fucking Sea Lamprey found in New Jersey!  And second, one of the two assistant dudes, the shoebox dude, he’s now Anal Day Lewis, so that’s whats up.  OK, so Rawdog says he knows more about music that Katie does, and Ellis calls bullshit.  Maybe Ellis is just calling BS cause Katie’s his girl, or maybe  he knows something Rawdog doesn’t.  Either way shit’s gotta be settled and for cash n prizes, well you know.  If Katie wins, get ready for Rawdog verse Katie at EllisMania 9!  If Rawdog wins, well I wasn’t sure but it was something out of fart on her, grope her, spiderman her.  Well before we get to the battle, lets see what Katie’s got for the new punching machine.  Her first attempt fucking sucked ass, a 16.  But she bounced back and got a nice 45 to top Cumtard, who immediately whined his way into another shot for himself only to drop a 36 and continue his legacy.  Oh, and the other intern assistant guy (I guess there’s 2 dudes now, huh) he’s Fruitler which is an Australian American term for a fruity Hitler looking motha fucker.  Will JizzCult Pendarvis III had 20 questions, and folks let me tell you, this will definitely without a doubt like your mom next to a cock garunted she sucks it be on Best Of real soon.  Heres the scoring as I had it:  Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie, Rawdog (3-2 Katie so far), Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie, Katie Katie (That’s now 11-2, still Katie by the way), both got it wrong, Katie, Katie, Rawdog, Katie!   So basically Ellis Mania 9 just got fucking sicker and I just successfully name dropped @underwearwolf like 20 times!



Picture 1

This guy follows @mike_in_canada for sure, ‘ey!

Did you know that Ikea furniture is in the horse meat game?  So Chuck from Eat At Carlos, get it – asked Ellismate what kind of custom calzone he and the boys would like?  Well we all know this is a dream segment for TJES, and for us the target demographic, ya know dumb fatass Americans, so what is your dream calzone?  How about an Ellis favorite spaghetti n meatball calzone, or perhaps the breakfast calzone with hash in it.  You could get the Tully inspired Thanksgiving calzone, or maybe your a chocolate n Vanilla ice cream calzone like Rawdog.  Whatever your into, get it up ya!  If your into Twitter, then get @mike_in_canada up ya cause he strikes again, summoning the one and only GodWar to the show to play one his games for prizes, well by prizes really but its fun.  This time GodWar hummed the rifs to popular rock songs, in reverse and reversed those or whatever the fuck he does, dudes weird really.  Anyways Godwar did it again, no one reached the prize chamber, not even ol’ GhostLoad, ‘cept for one dude at the very end who nailed the last one despite its difficulty, so shout out to you dude whoever you may be!


How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar

How I Feel Before n After hearing Godwar


Not much in the way of Hollywood News, so we’ll just update you on Lindsay Lohan and call it a day.  She told the man, Hey Fuck You Man (She must listen to the show or at least read the recaps), and is headed to court, cause she don’t wanna go to rehab.  Oh and coincidentally the Green Day dude is out of rehab and said it sucked.  Tully says dudes in rehab smoke cigarettes above the knuckle, I think its code for take it up the ass but I could be wrong.  Ellis is in a Fuck Off mood, but loves ya #FullHomo, but seriously Fuck Off!  That could only mean one thing, yup – Placenta Talk on The Jason Ellis Show!  Oh boy some dude’s wife put placenta into pills so she can take them 4 times a day, Woman Am I Right?  Tully kept Linsanity’s umbilical cord for like 8 months in the butter dish, and conveniently says all women from Wisconsin are bush pigs.  The Used will be in concert tomorrow night in LA, and Ellis will be there, rocking WolfKnife attire perhaps.  No alone time with The Wing on Final Calls, in fact, Tully pretty much took over from here.  Remember the boss who asked Tully for advice on how to get his workers motivated without options to really replace them – And Oxford told him to fire like a 10th of his workforce, ya know trim the fat, and dude called back and damn if it didn’t work like a charm.  Tully also called out some bitch who called in saying her man was scared to cum insider her even though she said she’s on the pill – when he asked her if she were to get pregnant, would she want to keep it?  She jumped at her chance to answer yes, sounding sketchy as all hell leading Ellismate to tell dude to run for his life, and sparking the catch phrase “In the Bum, No Babies!”.  That’s what I keep telling your grandma, but she insists her box fell out 20 years ago and I got nothing to worry about, sounds like a set up to me, OH!

Jersey Mike Song Parodies

If you’re not familiar, 中Jersey Mike中 (@jerseymike334) made quite a few parody songs for TJES, most (if not all) have been featured on the show – some are still in use on the show to this day. And he was kind enough to send them over to us so we could share them with the rest of you! Enjoy, this guy made some legendary shit – show him some love!

Show Re-cap For Friday 2/24/2012

Welcome To The Prize ChamberIt’s Friday and you know what that means: Sheep are fucking dumb and Rawdog’s car is a pile of shit. There was talk about making a new Rawdog t-shirt, and you know that’s a fucking killer idea so hopefully that actually happens. I even came up with concept t-shirt that I’d totally wear. See it over there on the right? No dude, click on it. It’s right there. ==> Other ideas came in, such as “Free Rawdog” (like Free Willy), “Where’s My Trust Fund”, “Welcome To The Jigga-Budda-Boo Show”, “Feed Rawdog” (like Paris Hilton holding her dog but with Ellis’ face on Paris and Rawdog’s face on the dog), and of course “Godwar”. There were more but I’m already tired of typing t-shirt slogans, so let’s just keep pushing forward.

Ashanti. I just wanted to say that I typed her name once in my lifetime. Plus it sounds funny, almost like a cute swear word or something. Anyway, enough about her. Also, The Oscars. And also, enough about them too. Fuckin’ Oscars are fuckin’ stupid. Hey, here’s a totally disturbing picture of a hairless bear. Fuck that thing too, after all it is Who Gives a Fuck Friday. Flibbertigibbet. Just wanted to type that too, sorry. Moving on…

From Tully’s Bullshit news segment, an 8 year-old got a sex change, some dude got arrested for having kids spit, piss, and shit on him, and some unlucky chick in Texas got shot, from a gun fired in Mexico! The first two stories are fucked up, the bitch that caught some lead – that’s fucking awesome (as long as it doesn’t happen to me.) A 20 ton boulder fell on some dudes car and he lived. He’s a couple inches shorter, but he lived. Okay, that last part I totally made up, he’s not shorter – or is he?

More Cumtard torture today, he had to make some “shocking” confessions – so you should totally read into that. Shocking is the key word there in case you’re a total moron. And if you are a total moron, then read this next sentence: Fuck! He’s getting shocked you fool, I don’t know how you even exist. Okay, back to shocking confessions:

  • When he was a little kid, he did some gay shit a couple times. His mom put him in daycare, he was 4 or 5 and he bit some kids nuts. We’re talking pants down and teeth to bald nuts. Disturbing.
  • He said when his whole family would be over at the house, he used to hide behind the curtains and punch his boner. Creepy.
  • At summer camp when he was around 6 or 7 he and another kid got out of their sleeping bags and touched each others wieners. Shocking.

It’s Friday, I’m bringing this thing to an end, and I’m calling your mother to come over so I can take a dump on her chest. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 2/17/2012

Hey, hey, Tony Hawk here. Not really, it’s just me. I almost had ya didn’t I? No? Okay, well then let’s just move right into it shall we? No? AHH! You fucker, you got me! Good times, good times.

Live Friday morning show today! I assume it was because there was no live show yesterday. No real word on why there was no show yesterday, although during the call from Ken Block today, Ken asked Ellis when he plans on retiring from radio. Ellis said something to the effect of “I almost did yesterday” (paraphrasing there), so I guess maybe he was having a bad day. To answer Ken’s question about retirement, he also added maybe in like 4 to 5 years. Who knows if that is set in stone or not. Since he planned on taking Friday’s off until after his now canceled fight and the time slot change, maybe he just took off Thursday instead of Friday.

There was a lot of Chris Brown talk, a whole lot, like for an hour or so. He’s an uninteresting cocksucker so I’m not talking about him. Hey, here’s a David Lee Roth soundboard to play with though! As previously mentioned, Ken Block called in. They talked about Instagram, some other stuff, and then they watched a video of Ken Block spoofing himself with Nick Swardson as Ken Block, which is pretty funny. Godwar made an appearance today to lead unsuspecting winners to the prize chamber of doom. Turns out it was pretty difficult Godwar contest today, most people that called in couldn’t guess the answers. Matter of fact it got so bad it was just dead silent with the only sound being the fuzzy crackles of a bad phone connection.

ogreKyle Turley called into the show, he’s an ex-NFL player. Apparently he listens to the show, but called in to talk about how some dude got fired (technically “he left his position”) from a terrestrial radio show because he called some huge woman a Sasquatch or something along those lines. He wanted Ellis to talk about it to help get some publicity for the dude in hopes it could help turn around the current situation. Apparently the show is quite popular and a lot of people want the show back. The overall gist of the story is that terrestrial radio is what it is and has always been. It’s watered down, tamed, and very non-offensive. It’s meant to please everyone, which ironically ends up pleasing very few because it’s not “real talk”.

That’s pretty much exactly what happened on today’s show, minus the parts I didn’t talk about or totally embellished on. You do realize I do the same when I’m talking about your mother, right? Sometimes I leave things out and other times I totally leave them in – that’s how you were born. I left it in. OH!

Your Mom's Dildo