Tag Archives: Jason Ellis

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 12/12/2012

Posted on by
Reply

YNThe Jason Ellis Show is back undoubtedly thanks to Burbank Dave and his ability to be at Jason’a help at a moments notice. Elephants are wrinkly, so are cats, especially when they are hairless and can’t hide their wrinkly ball sack looking skin. Ellis was invited to go to a red carpet event of Disney on Ice with his kids. Nothing cooler than your Dad being interviewed by a bunch of people that think he’s Jason Stathams stunt double. Rawdog claims that he has seen a car flip over during high winds while being blown by Jessica Simpson. There are a number of things that make this story improbable. First only Josh and Burbank Dave have ever seen a car flip due to winds, and second, there is no enough room in Josh’s car for Jessica to be able to properly blow him.Disney on Meth

There’s only one day left to bid on the charity jam they call the Jason Ellis Show Experience. Okay, maybe I just call it that but the current bid is just over 5 grand! Goos job EllisFam. Ever wonder what your baby is worth on the black market? Rawdog took a quicksmells like shit survey from tully and out of 50 fruits and vegetables, he only likes french fries. If anyone was shocked by that please stop reading this, you will never get it. Ezekiel Bread is made with poop. Yup, poop. It used to be made with cow poop but then the people bitched to God about it and because God likes a good joke, told them to use their own poop and they did and God laughed. Its in the Bible, and more importantly its’s on the internet so that makes it true.

Thank you to the ladies for helping out with the “What Do You Think Of These” segment, it sounds like the guys really enjoy it. And if you would also like us here at NoYouAre to give our opinion please CC us a copy, thank you. Panama is making their canal wider which means that they can take a bigger load through their wet passage. And speaking of Panama, segway, a Panama woman got caught smuggling coke in her breast implants. Here’s the Yoko Ono video, and that’s all I need to say about that. Whats left of Nirvana and Paul McCartney are performing together for a charity event and so are Octomom and The Dudesons. And Here’s the Anti-Scientology rap. New Music Tuesday Wednesday was a menagerie of shit featuring Metta World Peace, Cassidy Pope, Big Boy, and some other shitty music that made me want to put sharp objects into my ears.

Hollywood News is brought to you by Anne Hathaway’s pussy. According to some magazine, some chicks are hot, Ricky Martin wishes to come out of the closet again so he can be twice as gay, and Brook Mueller (Charlie Sheen’s ex) is going to rehab, again, for the 19th time. Good luck with this one. The 19th time’s the charm. And then there was final calls where we learned that Australians are just the American version of The Dudesons, drunk and possible retarded. I shouldn’t say mean things like that though. We all thought yer mum was retarded, the way she constantly drooled and slobbered, that is until we realized it’s just all the left over man goo that was seeping out, OH!The Dudesons

 

 

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 12/11/2012

Posted on by
Reply

The white boy is back, and you know he can never be whack. It was another porn kind of morning for The Wing, which I assume also means he and Katie did sex stuff. Ellis started a new Instagram account, you can follow him @WolfMate to get your fix. Jude stopped into the show again today, this time for more than just a quick gift giving of vaporizers. He’s going to be writing some rap lyrics for a new Jack the Cunt track, and he’s got the ghetto accent to bring the bad shit, boss. Will fucked some shit up in the studio today, battery backup units were a beep-beep-beeping all over the place until bingo-bango, the show went off-air and we got some Social Distortion instead. No live EllisMania.com either, so everyone was left standing there with their dorks in the hands for awhile until a “Best of” show came on. And with that, we’re done with the re-cap, but we’re just getting started on your mother. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 12/10/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Awkward porn is awkward.

It’s Monday, it’s colder than a well digger’s ass, and I’ve got a link to the sweetest fucking song/video that you must watch. Do puppies keep you at night because they’re chewing on your hands? Do you wake up in the middle of the night to watch porn where old ladies are doing young ladies? Well maybe you should. Or maybe Dingo should, because he just could not follow this story for the life of him. At first he thought it was mom on daughter, then he wasn’t sure what the scissor-kick-cookie-wiggle was, and I think he even started to think the topic was the new Spiderman movie. It took all three of the dudes to get Dingo back on track. Ellis initially started questioning his dick for a moment due to the weird underlying vibe the porn was giving off, at first he wasn’t into it, then he was, and then he went and banged out Katie. Manny Pacquiáo got clobbered hard enough over the weekend that people are already talking about his possible retirement from boxing all together. If you had to pledge your love to a new God and start going to church, which celebrity would it be that changes your life path and you start to follow? Chris Farley? Elvis Presley? Once again, Dingo went off the deep-end here claiming he’d follow Justin Bieber and Usher, or Quentin Tarantino, but not Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. It’s like I don’t even know Dingo anymore. Okay, so maybe I never really did know Dingo, but still.

For you people reading this, you probably already know oxycottonjohn (Yeahhhh Motherfuckers!) His little sister has setup a blog to accept donations for him and his mounting and very expensive medical bills. Please, if you can, help out a fellow EllisFam member. He’s a fucking great guy and would help you out if he could. Spread some love, you could use the good karma.

Not training for your fight because you still feel on your game?

Wanna see the worst free throw in the fucking history of basketball? Was that a relative of Rawdog’s? Was it Rawdog himself in costume? I’m pretty sure the answer to both is nope. Ellis has been teaching Katie pad work, not like pads for those light days in a girls life, we’re talking boxing here. Could we be seeing a “Dumped or Fired” fight at EllisMania 9, where Rawdog and Katie square off in the ring and the loser either gets dumped or fired? Time will only tell, but hopefully for the fans, this will become a reality. Some world champion mustache dude was there filming Dingo today, yup, that’s all there is to say about that exciting news – I guess at least he’s a world champion. Is it pronounced Appalachia or Far Fig Newton? Who gives a shit? Fight talk time. Ellis doesn’t think Shogun is finished, but a lot of other people do because he’s been getting his face rearranged quite a bit lately, but the only person who really knows is Mauricio “Shogun” Rua. B. J. Penn got beat again over the weekend and people still blame his laid back, weed smokin’ lifestyle for his lackluster performances of late. Nate Diaz flipped the bird on TV, is anyone really surprised that he would do this? He’s a bad-ass hoodlum, how could you think he wouldn’t do something like this eventually? I say more power to him.

Oh come on! I was just joking!

Quick, random thought: Am I the only one who thinks Maria Brink from In This Moment would be a lot hotter without the massive holes in her earlobes? Maybe it’s just me. Anyway, some corpse fell out of the sky, it wasn’t a ghost, it wasn’t “Slimer” from Ghostbusters, but just a dude that tried to travel for free and in the wheel compartment of a plane. Which has been tried before by others, and most of them were just as unsuccessful as he was. And Darwin wins again. Tully had another celebrity sighting over the weekend while taking his son to the swings at the park, guess who was there? No, not Danzig. Yup, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale were there. I assumed with their child as I believe Gavin is no longer into little kiddies at the park, but low-and-behold, Tully never mentioned anything about their kid. Make of that what you will. Kurt Russell’s nephew went to the same school as Rawdog once. Neat, right? Wrong. I can understand you liked Overboard or Big Trouble in Little China, but come on.

There was talk about Camino & Rick, but it’s all old and it’s all lame. Apparently there was a tweet, and then someone else tweeted, and then people had thoughts, and then it was on the fucking show. I don’t listen to C&R, I’ve tried, but it’s just not my thing. If you do listen to them, great. No big deal. I can’t believe anyone cares about any of this. Seriously. Jude popped into the studio just long enough to hand out vaporizer presents to everyone and then boom, he was gone just like that. Do you prefer white chocolate? You’re probably a gaycist. Don’t argue about it, just accept it and move on. There might be a few more things I’m forgetting, but really – are you even paying attention at this point? Me neither. Who cares. Well, actually, I’ll tell you about one time that your mom did care. You were sitting at the kitchen table in the morning and said, “Hey mom, pass the fuckin’ corn flakes.” She took you out back and whipped you with a rod then sat you back down and said, “Now would you like something from the table?” You said, “Well I sure as shit don’t want those fuckin’ corn flakes.” And that’s how I knew you were the spawn of my seed. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 12/6/2012

Posted on by
Reply

Oy Mate, It’s me Jason Ellis! I shit in your mom’s fishtank, Red Dragons ya cunt.

A set of double D tits is better to have for a year than a set of dog’s balls on your face, fact!  Oh, and its Thursday, also fact!  From here on out its total bullshit, so lets get to it.  Ellismate is still doing his home jail house workout, but is stuck in between ripped and Rawdog.  Meanwhile, at the Ellis estates, #burgerellis got his first x-ray today, Red Dragons to you my puppy friend.  Hey, if your ever in Vegas at Drais Afterhours, be sure to look for Jason Ellis, catching VIP treatment and taking photos n shit.  Turns out Kit Cope has a friend who was in Vegas this weekend, and saw Ellis there, high on ecstasy with some Asian chic.  Only Ellis wasn’t in Vegas, so what the fuck – We have an imposture!  Of course Ellis hit Kit up on the air to try and get to the bottom of it, and Kit quoted a line from the fake Ellis “I am Jason Ellis and I make lots of money talking on the radio”.  Cumtard tried to get in touch with Drais, but everyone’s still sleeping so it remains a mystery.  Dogs are dumb, babies are dumber, and baby dogs are dumberer than all.  Not this dog yo, he be riding it til the wheels fall off.  So naturally that video led to Tully, drunk off his ass of course, verse a dog in a race to the death.  Sounds cool, but not sure about the legality’s of that.  If we were in Thailand though, game fucking on! Sounds like Ellis wants to take the show there for a few weeks, and maybe get a group salad tossing with Josh to bond as brothers.  Tully did point out the 3-7 AM time frame, but again, game fucking on!  Its not likely to happen though, as they can’t even get out to Ellis, Kansas let alone friggin Thailand.  One Day!

 

Rawdog just misses his McGriddles…

Mike Dolce joined the show to talk diet and health n shit, and if you listen to the show for health and to get good advice about it, you want to go back and check this out.  Mike’s a trainer for a shit ton of UFC fighters like Vitor Belfort, Johnny Hendricks, Quinton Rampage Jackson and many others.  He helps them cut weight, but not by starvation, rather a good diet and discipline, fucking sucks I know.  Dude knows his shit, which is as basic as eating earth grown stuff every 2 to 4 hours while awake, and til your satisfied not full.  Sure you gotta change up your lifestyle, but you don’t have to be nuts about it.  Mike on the other hand carries a book bag with a day of food and supplies n shit, such as almond butter, oat bran, and hemp hearts (What the fuck is a hemp heart?).  He’s written a few books on it, which Ellis and Rawdog each plan to try out.  For Josh, he will be checking out Living Lean, while Ellis is more of a 3 Weeks to Shredded guy.  Of course Rawdog is the Darth Vader of nutrition so we shall see how he does.  Other cool shit we learned, just cause its 100% natural don’t mean shit, bleach can be 100% natural and ain’t good for you.  Alcohol is a poison anyway you slice it, but weed is mellow as long as ingested not inhaled, since its better than any prescription drug you can get.  Also you need 9 hours of sleep a night, and avoid Crossfit all together as its gayer than you are my homo friend.

 

                 Oh yeah, DING!

 

Dana White, the man the myth the legend, called the show to shoot some UFC breeze with the wing.   I wonder if Dana owns a $450 Starbuck’s metal card?  Not sure, but I can guarantee you he own’s quite a few assistants, all of which are hotter than Ellis’s new assistant Ryan.  Ryan’s a happy dude who loves the Dead Kennedy’s and is from Vancouver.  Back to Dana White, so he’s “friggin’ awesome” and he loves Ellis, thinks the wing is the coolest.  So anyways, which fight is Ellis most pumped to see asked Dana, how about the Cain Velasquez/Junior dos Santos fight which ain’t even this weekend.  FUCK, stupid brain say dumb things go DUH!  Rawdog fed him a few of the fights on this weekends free UFC on FOX5, and Ellis is siked to see both the Benson Henderson/Nate Diaz and the BJ Penn/Rory MacDonald fights, calling Benson Henderson a ‘freak horse human’ so check it out.  Ellis also was a bit pissed at the final on this season’s Ultimate Fighter, but its Team Carwin no matter what happened for him.  Ellis added he was going to go check the videos from the weigh-ins, which Dana reminded him haven’t even happened yet.  Moral of the story kids, if you like to hear Dana White, go back and check this out as you may never hear him again on TJES after today!  In other meaningless news, Snakes on a Plane ain’t just a shitty movie anymore.  This other dude blamed a cat for the murder of a lawyer.  Last but not least, Rory MacDonald dresses like a French Canadian fag, and Tully’s wife is madly in love with Manny Pacquiao.

 

Well no fucking wonder….

Not much today in the way of Hollywood News, just the grammy’s.  Rawdog played a bunch of gay award-winning gay music to show Ellis what was hot this past year.  Maybe Death! Death! Die! can be in next year’s Grammy nominations, I mean shoebox knows a guy.  Just record a clean version of Big Funky Mega Boat and its on like Donkey Kong.  If I may be serious for a second, #fucktully for reminding us about Ghost Dad, i mean really dude.  But not for beating Linsanity with pillows and thundersticks, thats just fucking cool and necessary. Cats kill babies, its all true, and all over the internet.  They literally will “take the breath” of your infant, so watch out.  Stars too will literally take the Ellis show, and just fuck it up to beyond recognition, or so thinks Ellis. He’s fucking done with those assholes, they don’t care and can’t get it right.  His original intention for even being on that shit station was to fucking put it to Covino n Rich.  But those dudes turned out to be cool and care about radio n shit, and with all the fuck ups over the years, its just time to move on.  Will kill joyed any Faction replay ideas since too many people like punk and need a channel for it.  Whatever happens, we will always have our little noon to four on the west coast to look forward too, and Sirius on demand if we miss it, except in Canada I hear.  And your mom always has her Skechers and Crossfit training to look forward too as well, oh and like 13lbs. of shit and load we’ve been saving up for her, OH!