No Shit!
Welcome to Wednesday, a normal day like any other. The studio has been fucked up yet again, and life is meaningless so put that in your pipe and smoke it. On a lighter note, precum is cool. I mean its the fucking place to be. Our life goal should be to live in a state of precum. As Tully broke it down to us, we hold back on the final stage of cuming, so we can enjoy the bit before that…..the precum stage. Makes as much sense as Ellis wanting to be a little girl, not a woman but a little girl. Not a teenage girl either, with all that fucked up acne n all fat n shit. High school’s a bitch for a bitch, and apparently for Australians too as its just really training for jail. Ellis used to get called a skaghead back in school, which is a term for a heroin addict who’s homeless, not too far off. In Rawdogs jew school, the popular kids were still nerds and they had no good sports teams. Oh and Tully knew a dude in high school that got an offer to play soccer for a women’s college team, pink dragons to you my friend. Wanna see an Eagle snatch up a baby? And that video there is why we should ban automatic weapons and shit. Per Ellis, lets just keep it to rifles and handguns. Per Tully, keep ’em filled with blanks if you keep ’em in the house. I ain’t touching the whole gun issue, so instead here’s a story of a 60 car pile up on the 5.
Blah Blah Blah? Blah Blah Blah Blah!
Ramona Bruland is some cunt your gonna start seeing more of…..if you watch the X games. Seems Sal Masekela’s out and ESPN got this chic to replace him. We don’t know much about her, but she was a snowboarder “briefly”, appeared on Bold and the Beautiful a few times, and did some plumtv shit. Maybe Dingo knows her? Anyways, this is a bad move per Ellismate, since she’s not “one of us”. She really isn’t, is anyone being interviewed by her going to have a clue who she is, or give a fuck what she has to say. After all, would you rather watch her trying to relate to a back flip, or maybe Dingo TJ Lavin or even Todd Richards. Truth is it don’t matter what we folks want, its what the corporate suits want, control. And this broad seems to be the definition of puppet. That’s a reason why Ellis left EPSN, not wanting to wear their X games shit over his sponsors gear, despite them trying to demand that shit. Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has. Echolalia is some shit Rawdog has. Well, he did have it as a kid, and Ellis noticed him doing the same shit today. He was doing some kind of mumbling after he spoke, which later turned out to be him repeating what he just said, or so Tully and Ellis think. Will said that Cumtard said that the fake Avril chic said she noticed it before too, so it must be true. So why was Josh raised as a girl? And is he a hypochondriac schizophrenic with alzheimer’s on the verge of a stroke? Gotta tune in and find out bro.
So what do you boys think of these? Not too shabby “Blair”, those are very intercourseable. Well, you fuckers have complained too long, heres your wish if you’ve been missing the classic segment, “Dude, Am I A Slut?” Here we go; Josie is 20, with 34DD tits, and was pissed some dude pulled out and came on her back….Not a slut Josie, just a bitch. Erica has been dating a dude for 4 years, engaged for 2, and they haven’t had sex yet with “Turd McStiffenson” being all Catholic and shit….not a slut, in fact what the fuck did you call for? Tonya, 27 years ancient, found out her ex cheated on her so went and fucked all his boys and his female cousin too….not a slut, yup thats the verdict! Lisa is 36 and her man is hung like horse, and she chows beav, and had sex at the pool with some chic in public….not a slut. Thats 0 for 4 if your scoring at home, of course not with any of these bitches…so how about Jackie, she and her girl friends took turns fucking some random dudes at different places throughout a roughly 5 hour window…..DING! Not only do we have our first slut, but that bitch is invited to the prize chamber at The Wing’s house, ‘cept he hung up on her slutty ass. In the search for Jackie to call back, we played ‘Are you a lady, rapist or sex offender’ which I’m sure is hear to stay. All in all it is what it is, nah mean!
Ever hear the expression “ain’t got a pot to piss in”, well these mother fuckers here done bought the pot to piss and shit in, to go with the really cheap apartment that didn’t come with such amenities. They sir are morons, ok that segue failed, but Jizz Cult didn’t with his crazy wacky game ‘You Sir Are A Moron’. If you don’t know how to play, that kind makes it better really. Some of the topics were 100 Rawdogs verses one Jason Ellis (Not the Lycan sized Ellis, but the real life version), when do you tell a chic you have an STD, which is never by the way. The most amount of money ok to gamble away at Vegas, yeah Will set this game up. Most valuable thing to steal from work – Tattoo of Hello Kitty on your head or a tat of Hitler on your ass. One million bucks in exchange for your penis being 50% size, what the fuck kinda games are these Jizz Cult? Drink a gallon of pee or eat small nugget sized turd? Watch your parents fuck or jerk it for your grandma? Thats it I’m fucking out of here.
What if Grandma likes it, and goes for it, then what?
Hollywood news time ladies and douche knuckles, and Sam Donaldson got a DUI in Delaware. Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson? Ke$ha’s new smash hit single ‘Die Young‘ has been pulled from radio station play due to its suggestive and inappropriate title. Like Too Short said, “It was all good just a week ago”. Tom Cruise talks about being a big pussy to Jimmy Fallon. Sounds like Bieber got him some new snatch to get over the Smellena Gomez bitch. Lindsay Lohan says she didn’t take a massive shit to clog up those toilets as she was accused of. Psycho Mike is not only banging Landon Donovan’s ex, but he married her. Obama is Time’s Man of the Year, again. Cullen a.k.a The Backbone is Faction, SiriusXM and just life in general’s Man Of The Year for playing the greatest ‘Dude Am I A Slut’ of all time after the show ended if you wanna check it out OnDemand or some shit. Oh and Sal Masekela texted Ellis back saying thanks for calling him and fag and all, mad respect. As if Canada hasn’t had enough, we find out that Lacrosse is the national sport. However bad they are, they can’t be as bad as this douche bag radio dude just ripping of The Jason Ellis Show. I’m not even going to dignify you with a name, just he’s from the San Antonio market, has bits like “Your a slut if…” and shock collars and all that shit, plus some repeating guests as Ellis too. This seems so obvious that even Tully and Will call bullshit on this dude. Also, this sparked the age old question of what Ellis has stolen from other shows over the years. Maybe he stole part of Bubba’s shock collar bits, or Howard’s voice machine idea. Nah mate, you are! Truth is, Ellis never stole shit from anybody, and as Tully reminds us, just about everything gets recycled over at some point as theres only so many things you can do over years of radio. Its kinda like the other night, I did this move where I jumped off the edge of the bed, dick first into your mom’s gaping twat, while doing a 360 and grabbing my balls, only to hear her tell me @AZ_RedDragon and @bitpimps took turns doing that on her last week, OH!
