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Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/26/2012

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Welcome back to another fun filled episode.  Today’s show started out strong with discussion about Jason’s interview on @KTLA, the morning news/talk show much like Good Morning America but for LA only because they are special.  The interview went well, Jason felt that it was well received and the guy on the show got to flex his “I know Australians” muscles.  Jason also attended a black metal concert with his back to current girlfriend Katie. CumTard the Cumtardian was also there but Jason found it better to avoid him.  Good call.

Discussion turned to a new Segway skateboard love child called the Z-Board, and as one would expect, we all wondered if Josh could ride it.  Maybe someday we will get to find out, and then laugh our asses off.  Jude came in again today with a much more mellow topic, Kava.  I’m not sure what it is and I’m too lazy to read the link i attached, if you are curious please feel free to check it out.  When you are done, just let the rest of us know.

The rest of the show was pretty mellow, a bit of discussion here and there so I will wrap it up quickly.  Aussie News, a guy stole a penguin, Ellis called some of the Cum Challenge finalists, a dude banged his girl in the ass because she was on her rag and he got poopie dick, and Rawdog is now an internet dating guru and feels that this single date has given him enough knowledge that he is entitled to share. I think he should write a book on it, and again, we will laugh our asses off.

Thomas Hayden Church called in today and the thing that I am most impressed with is that he is an avid listener.  That’s pretty fucking cool in my book.  The game that Josh was going to play yesterday got played today and in my opinion, I would have rather listened to another episode of New Music Tuesday.  The game was slow, and got boring fast.  It was a good concept but didn’t work out well. Guess they can’t all be winners. And finally, Egypt is trying to pass a law so that a husband may use his wife as a human fuck torso up to six hours after her death.  Everyone agrees this is fucking disgusting.  This is the part where I make a joke about yer Mum, but she does a pretty good job of doing that all by herself, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/25/2012

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Hello and welcome my friends to another wonderfully insightful edition of The Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap.   Today started out with the boys going a bit Eco friendly.  Grass topped bars, grass carpets, and log cars.  These seem like interesting ideas until you start thinking, who’s gonna mow the bar?  And if you throw up will there be a dead spot.  Would dogs be allowed in, and who’s cleaning up that mess?  Probably best to just leave things the way they are.  Well punch me in the cock, Rawdog had a rather successful date. At least as successful as one would expect from Rumble McTumble Bum.  This mystery internet woman seems very impressed with Josh and even said he looks better in person than on his profile pic. Fist Bump.  I believe it is safe to say this girl will be swallowing some Tussin in the near future if you know what I’m saying.  Yeah, you know what I’m saying. Today is also Rude Juduesday and Jude ruffled some feathers when he came in wearing a Vick jersey and totally defended dog fighting. Said dogs aren’t humans & he don’t give a fuck about a dog. This struck a nerve with many as expected but a mans opinion is his own.

Teens are fucktarded, as we all know.  But they have brought it to a whole new level, they are drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk.  What ever happened to the good ol grab and dash? That was a highly effective way of getting booze. Kids these days.  We also heard some fucking awesome mash ups and parody songs, so shout out to Cruiser Boy and Mike Higgins, great job dudes. Jason’s book is now on the New York Times Best Seller list at number 23. That’s a huge fucking accomplishment from a dude who “can’t read or write.”

A guy named Gordy called the VIP line.  This lucky 19 year old bastard got the number from his copy of I’m Awesome but not the circle jerk names. Hope is still out there, don’t give up.  Other news, Octomom is a hoe bag and Chis Angel is a douche, as if we didn’t already know.

A bit of serious information, between May 8th and May 22nd download the song “Long Time” by Everlast. Precedes will help to find a better treatment for Cystic Fibrosis.

And I know that you are reading this Mr. McConaughey so will you please get your shirtless ass into the show, and Matthew, we can do this the easy way or the, aww fuck it, I can’t remember the quote.  Much like I can’t ever remember what your mum says because it just sounds like shes gargling cum. And she is, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/18/2012

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Day 3 of the New York shows kicked off with new songs by The Jingleberries (@jingleberries) and there were limited microphones available which turned into a fantastic new discovery, Tranny Sarah! This new discovery has so much creep potential I really hope the guys use this again.

Jason talked about all the shitty AM Terrestrial Radio shows that he had to do, all seemed to go well and he only said shit and fuck once.  I think I would have lost in that betting pool.  Tully reported that the book was at number 38 in sales, but throughout the show it seemed to drop. Apparently that’s what this shit does.

 

In today’s Breaking News, Dick Clark died, Britney Spears is going to be on X-Factor, and chin plastic surgery is the next big thing.  After all that epic news they got into the discussion of who’s smarter, Chicks or Gay Dudes?  After much discussion and deliberating they came to the unanimous conclusion that ugly Chicks are the smartest.

There’s a new contest, which isn’t as much of a contest as it is a crap shoot.  Some random caller will get a custom signed book and one of the twelve lucky winners will have their book hand delivered to them by Ellis himself.  This applies to everyone, except Canada, and Hawaii, and Alaska.  SUCK IT!

Todays Worlds Greatest Wednesday was nothing more than a cock tease, figures.  (sigh) Maybe next week.  Final calls was a little interesting.  It was mostly drug addiction talk, then took a left turn to a guy addicted to strippers and porn stars.  Not too bad of an addiction if you ask me, not like your moms addiction, chewing used condoms like gum, OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/5/2012

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Today started out with a bang, Ellis broke up with his girlfriend.  Please let me know if you are surprised by this, I believe there is a short bus and helmet waiting for you.  Jason also came to an emotional realization about himself and Andrea.  I would tell you more, but I won’t because I missed part of it. (Notice a theme here.)  After all the emotional babble they started talking about shitty music, mainly Radio Head.  One would assume that RawDog would be the go-to guy for this topic.  You would be wrong.  Not only does Josh like shitty music, he thinks good music is shitty.  Wow, wrap your head around that one.

Then they got onto the subject of John Travolta and that hes a good dancer or some shit.  But much more importantly, the worlds biggest fan of The Jason Ellis Show called in.  Honestly, I almost pissed myself.  This “fan” thought he must have been talking to the call screener, sorry, call screeners. All three of them.  Had quite a lengthy conversation and even saying how he could recognize the crew in a restaurant just by their voices alone.  I wish I had the transcript, this was the definition of radio gold.  A must listen tomorrow morning.

Ferdinand Porsche died, raided New York, has lazer eyes.  Jim Marshall of Marshall Amps also died, or maybe the Marshall clothing store guy.  I’m not sure, I should ask RawDog.  Then Jeremy Williams and Gangie (probably butchered the shit out of that name) from Fortune Gym stopped by.  Jeremy is going to give Josh boxing lessons so he can kick some cunt and everyone can see titty.  What more inspiration do you need.  Then they talked about some shit I don’t want to get into so moving along.

Schultz came in again, probably had to pee but he stayed a while this time.  They talked about go-karts and the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie.  Then Donald left, again.  The boys took calls from the listeners and got some pretty good ideas, and a lot of really bad ideas.  The general thought is, MORE BOOBIES.  Can’t go wrong with that.

Then they played a base ball trivia game with ball clamps and the RC car. I’m sure you know how the game went with Jason and Josh’s extensive knowledge of sports. And then it was the usual final calls time.  “Jason your great” “Cum Guvenah” “Can I talk to Ellis” “My 5 month old son lost 70 pounds listening to your show” the usual stuff.  The only thing more usual is the excitement of the horses when your mom goes to the stables, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 4/4/2012

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I am back to grace you with my whimsical writings and often humorous tales of excitement, passion, and woe.  Now that the bullshit is out of the way, today was a busy show.  Everything started out with Ellis wanting to be a somersaulting moto dolphin saki or some shit, then there was mention of Ellis being on Fox and Friends.  From their conversation I’m pretty sure its not the Furry porno that I, never mind, moving on.

Then things turned into money and if its still masculine to make less than your wife.  The over all consensus is, fuck yeah. Then they got into the issue of dating a porn star which means all your shit is bought with dicks.  The cup your drinking out of, dicks.  The soap you wash your ass with, dicks. You get the idea.  Moving further on, Fred Durst isn’t a douche after all, he’s a SUPER DOUCHE.  Apparently after signing with his new label he kicked a couple long time band mates to the curb.  Too bad so sad.

There was talk about the EM8 fights, i didn’t hear it because my phone app is a piece of shit, but there was something about @shit_tobboggan fighting.  Then @mayhemmiller stopped by, did some shit, talked loud, said something about making sweet sweet love to his lady friends, then talked about jacking off.  Pretty typical Mayhem conversation.

@Donaldschultz stopped in for a Redbull and a tinkle. Best guest appearance ever.  After the confusion over the Schultz incident the boys started to come up with character names for Big Fucking Mega Boat and the phones and Twitter were flying.  There were too many names to mention and I will assume this took the place of Worlds Greatest Wednesday.

During final calls my mobile app once again took a shit and I was unable to listen to the rest of the show. I really wish Sirius would fix this issue because much like your mom, this app sucks massive donkey balls. OH!