Show Re-cap For Tuesday 12/4/2012

We’re just here for the strippers and midgets, bro!

Yo dude bro-bro dudes-bro! It’s Tuesbro, so let’s see what the bro’s have for us on today’s bro-show, you know, bro? I missed the first 20 bro-down minutes or so of the show, so I’m not sure what the topic was, but I came in right when Mayhem volunteered his mother to fight Rawdog. A blind man also called and offered to fight him as well. Not everyone can agree upon what is the cutest puppy, but one thing is for sure, Rawdog just might be the cutest puppy of them all. Deaf people definitely have deaf pride, all trying to rub their deafness in everyone’s faces, telling you they can feel sound vibrations and shit. But who would win in a war with deaf people versus blind people? What about midgets? Why aren’t midgets for sale yet? Some things in life just don’t make any sense. Lot’s of stripper talk today, their stripper tactics, their stripper games, and stripper etiquette.  Ellis popped Katie in the face today with some jabs while they were doing some boxing for a workout. She liked it and wanted more, biatch be cray, yo!

Steven Seagal teaches dudes how to wrestle, too!

Hollywood news time, Gary Busey’s bankruptcy case is now closed, but he still owes $450,000 to the IRS. Demi Moore’s banging some new young dude, and guess what? Tully knows him. Katt Williams is back in the news after leading cops on a chase, he stopped at Target and slapped the shit out of an employee. Katt seems to be out his gotdamn mind. Kim Kardashian is still in the middle east, but with what looks like herpes. Nick Lachey got into a fight with a San Diego Chargers fan, he was making fun of some other dudes shirt (tough guy stuff), this dude’s wife told him to eat shit or something, and then Nick-bro flipped out and got kicked out of the game. Frankie Muniz had a mini-stroke at the mini-age of 27, which would suck large-balls, so let’s hope his mini-ass gets back into better health. In the late 1980’s, Brad Pitt was caught with Mike Tyson’s wife, Robin Givens. Red Dragons! Tyson also revealed that he was high on cocaine while filming The Hangover. Randy Couture made a half joke that he would only come out of retirement to fight Steven Seagal, so Seagal said he’d fight him for free at some place where there are no witnesses. Hugh Hefner had some chick leave him at the isle just before their wedding, but now it’s back on. Yay for money!

Fuck your Christmas songs, you need a Slayer tree topper!

New Music Tuesday Christmas edition today, we got hear new hits from such awful acts as Cee-Lo, John Travolta & Olivia Newton John, August Burns Red, Backstreet Boys, Colbie Caillat, Thousand Foot Krutch, Rod Stewart, Tracey Thorn, Flatulenta, Blake Shelton, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and fucking finally Sufjan Stevens as the pick of the week. All of it was absolutely terrible and was hell on Earth for most of us. Breaking news, Sal Masekela is dead, no wait, X-Games are dead, no, that’s not right either, Sal & ESPN broke up, yes, that’s correct. He will no longer be hosting X-Games. I wonder if they’ll remain friends and send each other Christmas cards? This whole Sal & ESPN thing spawned a massive conversation about hosts and people who interview athletes at sporting events. Aussie news, crocodiles are getting their Christmas dinners in early, sounds like they’re eating children left and right, I don’t even think they served yams.

Wanna have lunch with Ellis, Rawdog, and Tully? Tough shit, motherfucker. Just kidding, you can go bid on your chance to win that life altering moment, and when you win, prepare to fingered with mind tongue. In cock news, George Takei said he jacks off to completion in the shower while thinking of Ellis. You might not want to donate your spermies to a lesbian couple unless you have some sort of legal document that states they can’t come back after your ass for some duckettes. What is the difference between your mom and a refrigerator? The refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/9/2012

Happy Hump Day all you happy humping Hedens and Heroins.  I hope that you all have been blue balled and dry rubbed till your nether regions resemble a fresh piece of beef jerky. Good times.  Super Dad was late to the show today, he was held up at the post office and received a parking ticket because of the delay.  We started off the show with news from North Carolina.  There is still heated debate whether same sex marriage should be legal or not.  I think this is a ridiculous argument, there is no reason a persons human rights should be infringed upon.  This even pertains to North Carolina’s other law that was recently brought to light, the right for cousins to marry.  If you had any questions why North Carolina is so ignorant and stupid, well now you have your answer.

We also learned that John Travolta is of the hook for offering to Flog the Bishop with a masseuse.  He apparently was in New York during this alleged pole waxing, and there was no way possible that he was beatin another dudes dick like it owed him money.  There is not much more to this story, but for the fuck of it, jacking off, waxing the wood, beatin meat, making gravy, pettin the snake, that should do it.  Discussion also moved to whether or not Travolta is gay, and no, he is not. I mean, just look at him. How could you think he’s not 100% straight.

The phones were down for most of the day and with it being Wednesday, we had a WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY MARATHON! And it went a little something like this:

Worlds Gayest Super Hero.  And the unanimous winner is He-Man.

Worlds Gayest Animal.  And your winner is……..The Seahorse.

Worlds Worst Celebrity Tranny…….Well they’re all winners in my book. And the rest of us, with the mental pictures that this WGW created, are the true losers. You just can’t unthink stuff like that.

After all this fun and games the phones finally started working again just in time for final calls and after all the usual rif-raff that seems to drag out the last half hour of the show, Josh was grilled about his current hygiene care and if it has improved.  Good news ladies, Mr. Richmond is much cleaner than he used to be, which is something that cannot be said about the compost pile your mum calls her cunt, OH!


Show Re-cap For Thursday 4/5/2012

Today started out with a bang, Ellis broke up with his girlfriend.  Please let me know if you are surprised by this, I believe there is a short bus and helmet waiting for you.  Jason also came to an emotional realization about himself and Andrea.  I would tell you more, but I won’t because I missed part of it. (Notice a theme here.)  After all the emotional babble they started talking about shitty music, mainly Radio Head.  One would assume that RawDog would be the go-to guy for this topic.  You would be wrong.  Not only does Josh like shitty music, he thinks good music is shitty.  Wow, wrap your head around that one.

Then they got onto the subject of John Travolta and that hes a good dancer or some shit.  But much more importantly, the worlds biggest fan of The Jason Ellis Show called in.  Honestly, I almost pissed myself.  This “fan” thought he must have been talking to the call screener, sorry, call screeners. All three of them.  Had quite a lengthy conversation and even saying how he could recognize the crew in a restaurant just by their voices alone.  I wish I had the transcript, this was the definition of radio gold.  A must listen tomorrow morning.

Ferdinand Porsche died, raided New York, has lazer eyes.  Jim Marshall of Marshall Amps also died, or maybe the Marshall clothing store guy.  I’m not sure, I should ask RawDog.  Then Jeremy Williams and Gangie (probably butchered the shit out of that name) from Fortune Gym stopped by.  Jeremy is going to give Josh boxing lessons so he can kick some cunt and everyone can see titty.  What more inspiration do you need.  Then they talked about some shit I don’t want to get into so moving along.

Schultz came in again, probably had to pee but he stayed a while this time.  They talked about go-karts and the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie.  Then Donald left, again.  The boys took calls from the listeners and got some pretty good ideas, and a lot of really bad ideas.  The general thought is, MORE BOOBIES.  Can’t go wrong with that.

Then they played a base ball trivia game with ball clamps and the RC car. I’m sure you know how the game went with Jason and Josh’s extensive knowledge of sports. And then it was the usual final calls time.  “Jason your great” “Cum Guvenah” “Can I talk to Ellis” “My 5 month old son lost 70 pounds listening to your show” the usual stuff.  The only thing more usual is the excitement of the horses when your mom goes to the stables, OH!