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Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/16/2012

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Welcome to another late night edition of the Jason Ellis Show Re-Cap, tonight I am your host, Az_Redragon.  So just sit back and enjoy as you read this tale of excitement and woe.  I just realized that I’m not sure what woe means, who am I kidding? Heres the fucking recap that all you fucking fuckers fucking wanted. Damn, 4 fucks in one scentence, not bad. Someone had been stealing shit out of Jason’s truck at the apartments and hes getting tired of it, so tired that he wants to fight them all, at the same time.  He also said the the guys from West Coast Customs want to do some work on his truck.  As Tully said, the best thing they could do is put it back to stock, but how you gonna watch TV on a projection screen at the beach when its stock? That is whack!  They also talked about Ellis’s apperance on Dr Drews show and solidified his position as a Boobologist.

The greatest ass in the world is probably attached to a girl you’ve never heard of and never will.  Otherwise the opinion on worlds greates ass is up for debate whether you like a bubble butt, flat ass, junk in the trunk, or just something to hang on to while your giving her the ol’ in n out.

Jack Black and Kyle Gass of Tenacious D came into the studio today and things seemed to start off a little rocky.  It seemed to take Jack and Kyle a minute to get used to Jason’s straight to the point hard ass interviewing but soon enough everyone fell into a groove and the interview slowly turned into Jack asking Jason about D!D!D!  He listened to a few songs and seemed genuinly impressed.  There might be an actual chance that Tenacious D and Death Death Die will do a show together.  This would be the greatest show sinse yer mum performed in the donkey show in Tijuana, you remember, its the one where the donkey wouldn’t stop crying, OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 5/11/2012

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Holy fuck it Friday, and not just any Friday but Who Gives A Fuck Friday, as if you even gave a fuck about that.  Today is Dan “Hot Balls” O’Donell’s last day.  This would be a sad event if it happened yesterday but it didn’t so I don’t give a fuck. We will miss you Doug and your hot mom.  Katie (Ellis’ girlfriend, in case you’ve been under a rock) was in the studio today.  She wasn’t really on the air but you could her her cute little girlfriend laugh every time Ellis made a joke. It was adorable, but who really gives a fuck anyway.

Alaskans will hunt bears, Australians will piss on you, and women are incredibly fucked in the head.  Especially the 21 year old that called in.  Some suspect that she is really 12, but that is way too creepy so for sake of dignity, she was at least 18. She said that while making sweet sweet love to her man in the cowgirl position he got on his cell phone.  This, under most circumstances is a major no no.  However, after listening to this girl drone on and on and on for about 5 minutes I started to understand his plight, I’m surprised he didn’t try to lodge the phone into his brain.

More news, pity sex sucks, Serena Williams made a shit-tacular rap, Rawdog has never received a blow job to completion (we were all shocked by this news), and some of the funniest news I’ve heard in a long time, a man was held up by another man with a rifle and was forced to do the moon walk.  Oh and Ellis puked, I’m not sure if it was on his dick or just in the trash can. I was too busy watching my wife dry heave as she heard it, good times.

The Lemmy interview was good, Vinnie Paul was great, but today the most epic of all interviews went down.  Ellis got a surprise visit from the man, the myth, the legend, Steven Tyler!  This interview was so epic that I am not going to try to summarize it, I will however encourage you to go our good friend’s site, Cobra Tits, to listen to the Steven Tyler interview first hand.

For the end of the show the guys finally finished Worlds Greatest Worst Male Sex Change. Here’s the top 3:

3. Andre the Giant

2. Lenny from Motorbreath

1. Zakk Wylde

In my opinion all three of these guys are incredible ugly for guys let alone guys with cookies.  The only thing worse than having to stuff the sausage into any of them would having to ram jam yer mums actual swamp box, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/9/2012

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Happy Hump Day all you happy humping Hedens and Heroins.  I hope that you all have been blue balled and dry rubbed till your nether regions resemble a fresh piece of beef jerky. Good times.  Super Dad was late to the show today, he was held up at the post office and received a parking ticket because of the delay.  We started off the show with news from North Carolina.  There is still heated debate whether same sex marriage should be legal or not.  I think this is a ridiculous argument, there is no reason a persons human rights should be infringed upon.  This even pertains to North Carolina’s other law that was recently brought to light, the right for cousins to marry.  If you had any questions why North Carolina is so ignorant and stupid, well now you have your answer.

We also learned that John Travolta is of the hook for offering to Flog the Bishop with a masseuse.  He apparently was in New York during this alleged pole waxing, and there was no way possible that he was beatin another dudes dick like it owed him money.  There is not much more to this story, but for the fuck of it, jacking off, waxing the wood, beatin meat, making gravy, pettin the snake, that should do it.  Discussion also moved to whether or not Travolta is gay, and no, he is not. I mean, just look at him. How could you think he’s not 100% straight.

The phones were down for most of the day and with it being Wednesday, we had a WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY MARATHON! And it went a little something like this:

Worlds Gayest Super Hero.  And the unanimous winner is He-Man.

Worlds Gayest Animal.  And your winner is……..The Seahorse.

Worlds Worst Celebrity Tranny…….Well they’re all winners in my book. And the rest of us, with the mental pictures that this WGW created, are the true losers. You just can’t unthink stuff like that.

After all this fun and games the phones finally started working again just in time for final calls and after all the usual rif-raff that seems to drag out the last half hour of the show, Josh was grilled about his current hygiene care and if it has improved.  Good news ladies, Mr. Richmond is much cleaner than he used to be, which is something that cannot be said about the compost pile your mum calls her cunt, OH!

 

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/3/2012

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What else can I say but, its almost Friday.  Not quite but close, so don’t get your hopes up, there’s still one day left.  At least today was one of the best shows I’ve heard in a while.  The decades long debate on how old is too old to date was discussed and Ellis decided that any age is appropriate as long as you like the other person.  This is a noble stance but I still follow the “half your age plus seven” rule.  Jason talked about his appearance on Hollywood Uncensored and revealed that he had sweaty palms and had butterflies in his stomach. However he said that everyone was nice and he is starting to know more and more TV people. The Hollywood take over is imminent.

Ellis has only a few days left with Thomas Hayden Church’s Porsche and decided that he needs to try and pick up chicks while filming.  As expected the EllisFam came through like champs.  I was laughing way too hard and there were way too many pickup lines to write them all down.  I will just say good job to those who participated.  We were, umm, granted with a game from the entertaining MumTard.  Contestants had to guess the Mumtarded Movie in MumTards Mumtarded Movie Collection. Damn, after writing that I might need a helmet.  The game was a smash success and hopefully we will see MumTard back again in the future, just as soon as the get the smell out of the studio and the stains off the chair. And Dan the Man had exchanged some heated words with Alicia.  Actually I should say Alicia talked shit on Dan while he just cowered in the corner and piddled himself.  I don’t see things going well for him at Ellismania, but we can all hope that as Dan gets his ass handed to him the crowd will be treated with a possible wardrobe malfunction from the beautifully busty Alicia.

And finally, what we have all been waiting for, WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY  THURSDAY!  Today’s topic was Worlds Hottest Hollywood Milf.  There were some great contenders and the top 10 went as so:

10.  Milla Jovovich

9.  Kelly Rippa

8.  Sofia Vergara

7.  Belladonna

6.  Salma Hayek

5.  Mini Driver

4.  Gisele Bundchen

3.  DanOD5’s Mom

2.  Jessica Alba

1.  Britney Spears

Your Mom was also nominated for this list, but unfortunately she got a total of 0 votes.  Coincidentally that’s the same number of call backs she got after her many hours of pleasing dock workers.  Even MumTard, who got 1 vote by the way, said, “YOUR MOM BIGGER SLAM PIG THAN MUMTARD, OH!”

 

 

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/2/2012

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Sorry I’m late folks I got held up at the doctors office for my physical. Unfortunatly the office had incredibly shitty service so I had to go back and relisten to the show. Shout out to the new Sirius mobil app. Fortunately for me the doctor didn’t see any reason to check the ol skin chandelier which is a more than I can say for Rawdog and his fabulous roomate. Let me explain, Josh said he had a dream last night of a rather large, say man sized woman, giving him a handjob. Only a few days before he went on a super spectacular birthday bash with said roomie. Looking at the facts its not hard to see that two plus two equals HAAYYYYYYY! Jude was on the show again today and discussion turned to the ever so fantastic phenomenon, wet dreams, that is unless you do your own laundry. Ellis and Tully claimed to have never had a wet dream where as Jude had one while staying at a family members house and “murdered the sheets” with his load.

Junior Seao died and it is being investigated as a suicide, very sad news especially for the people of San Diego. The show turned to religious talk again, which turned to religious fanatics, turned to Afghanistan, then porn, then freaky Afghani bestiality and child porn. Apparently they’re not satisfied with good ol “wholesome” American porn. There was a bit of a teaser today for Worlds Greatest Wednesday but just as we attained full erection in preparation for the twitter raping, they pulled out leaving us with our dicks in our hand once again.

Ellis is starting to get into the Blues a bit, music not hockey, I know you Candians were thinking it. He got some suggestions for Lightnin’ Hopkins and Howlin’ Wolf, but no Muddy Waters or Blind Melon Chitlins. All these boys are so old they shit dust and fart rust, and also were the inspiration for modern day rock acts like Led Zepplin and others. Well, all but Blind Melon Chitlins, who famously sang a nice little ditty about chowin the beave.

Ellis cut out early today for a TV gig leaving us with the always great, Dog Center with Rawdog and Tully. Everything was going casual until our friend @sharkchucker reminded Tully that he has a 15 minute get out of work early card. And being the genius Tully is, he stayed, only to play that pile of shit Marlins song over and over. I think the only thing worse than that song is the noises that come from your mums flappy meat purse as she chases down the ice cream truck. OH!