Show Re-cap For Tuesday 6/12/2012

Hulk banging a cement truck

Yeaaaaaa motherfuckers. Tuesday, what can we say about Tuesday? Not a lot I suppose. I prefer not to talk about it. Dingo and Jude were on the show, and a dingo did in fact steal that one bitches baby, I think. It doesn’t matter if you blow Hulk or get fucked by Hulk, you’re gonna die because he’s going to get all up in (and completely go through) dem guts, aight. Rawdog may be forced to wear a bikini in his fight at Ellismania. That Sam Ruben dude from KTLA called in to the show and he still wants to send Ellis on press junkets to interview movie stars and shit. He had a bunch of helpful tips for interviewing these stars and such. The dopest part of all that talk? Ellis may get to interview Salma Hayek, she’s hot as hell, and I’d straight up ruin my life just to get all up on Salma.

Or maybe not so much

Surprise, surprise, CougarLife is a scam, because you have to keep buying credits to talk to fake cougar bitches. Who’da thunk it? Age 14 Tully, being the stud he is, broke up with his girlfriend and recorded it so he and his friend could listen and laugh about it. OH BURN, BITCH! Ellis went to the spa, some chick in the street asked him if that was parking for the spa. He goes into the spa, nobody is there and then suddenly a worker was giving a tour to this chick he saw in the parking lot. She comes into the room he’s in, sits down and starts talking to him, saying that Ellis reminds her of her brother. He was trying to teach her how to swim and shit, she left to go get a facial and said she’s going to start coming there at the same time he does. Sounds like she’s trying get with Ellis, but she probably could have skipped the whole “you remind me of my brother” line. Cool story bro.

Everything is going to be fine.

I had to pick my kid up after work because my wife got to go to the fucking horse track with her work like some kind of old ass, degenerate, gambling addict. That shit ain’t fair, I wanna go too! Anyway, so the last thing I heard was about a Mormon, who was married to a woman, but was gay and sexually attracted to men, but thought it would be a sin if he actually had sex with a man. What a conundrum that guys life must be. Next thing I knew, Tully was describing (rather sensually) an imaginary omelet he was cooking, to a caller. Doesn’t sound like I missed much, because I did hear another caller say he was impressed with Rawdog for kissing chicks and impressed with Ellis for not ending the show early today because of all the shitty callers. Speaking of shitty, I’ve got a craptastic joke about your Asian mother. Do you know why she has such squinty eyes? Because atomic bombs are pretty bright. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/3/2012

What else can I say but, its almost Friday.  Not quite but close, so don’t get your hopes up, there’s still one day left.  At least today was one of the best shows I’ve heard in a while.  The decades long debate on how old is too old to date was discussed and Ellis decided that any age is appropriate as long as you like the other person.  This is a noble stance but I still follow the “half your age plus seven” rule.  Jason talked about his appearance on Hollywood Uncensored and revealed that he had sweaty palms and had butterflies in his stomach. However he said that everyone was nice and he is starting to know more and more TV people. The Hollywood take over is imminent.

Ellis has only a few days left with Thomas Hayden Church’s Porsche and decided that he needs to try and pick up chicks while filming.  As expected the EllisFam came through like champs.  I was laughing way too hard and there were way too many pickup lines to write them all down.  I will just say good job to those who participated.  We were, umm, granted with a game from the entertaining MumTard.  Contestants had to guess the Mumtarded Movie in MumTards Mumtarded Movie Collection. Damn, after writing that I might need a helmet.  The game was a smash success and hopefully we will see MumTard back again in the future, just as soon as the get the smell out of the studio and the stains off the chair. And Dan the Man had exchanged some heated words with Alicia.  Actually I should say Alicia talked shit on Dan while he just cowered in the corner and piddled himself.  I don’t see things going well for him at Ellismania, but we can all hope that as Dan gets his ass handed to him the crowd will be treated with a possible wardrobe malfunction from the beautifully busty Alicia.

And finally, what we have all been waiting for, WORLDS GREATEST WEDNESDAY  THURSDAY!  Today’s topic was Worlds Hottest Hollywood Milf.  There were some great contenders and the top 10 went as so:

10.  Milla Jovovich

9.  Kelly Rippa

8.  Sofia Vergara

7.  Belladonna

6.  Salma Hayek

5.  Mini Driver

4.  Gisele Bundchen

3.  DanOD5’s Mom

2.  Jessica Alba

1.  Britney Spears

Your Mom was also nominated for this list, but unfortunately she got a total of 0 votes.  Coincidentally that’s the same number of call backs she got after her many hours of pleasing dock workers.  Even MumTard, who got 1 vote by the way, said, “YOUR MOM BIGGER SLAM PIG THAN MUMTARD, OH!”