Show Re-cap For Friday 8/10/2012

Led Zeppelin needs to come back, or 80’s glam rock. One of them. Because older women need some shit to listen to and I guess reminisce about. Big, crispy hair, the Brat Pack, it’s all going to bring back memories of when they had a tighter box. Ellis had a couple meetings, some good news, some bad news, some hidden news, some mediocre news, and he can’t talk about any of that shit, so fuck it. It’s Friday. You know Tom Cruise? I mean, not know him, but know who he is? You do, right? He’s that chick that got married to that younger, taller dude? His full name is Thomas Cruise Mapother IV. It looks like Superman IV, and he just might be the Superman of skin care cream. Ellis is talking about getting on more channels, and I don’t care what you say, because that would be awesome like Blossom. Rawdog’s friend “Mr. X” had a question about after he came on his chick, she licked it up, and then wanted to kiss him. Sounds like it was all meant as a silly after sex joke thing, but Mr. X has to put a stop that shit if he don’t want it. Homey don’t play that snowball game.

Anne Hathaway. Tully will accept the fact that you may think she’s pretty, but he will not accept the fact that you may find her sexually attractive. And according to Ellis, she most likely has a smelly ass – he can just tell. And according to me, she’s the type of girl that would snowball her boyfriend as a joke. So it has been said, and now written, and so it shall be. It’s the law of the land. Who wins between a vampire, a predator, a liken, and aliens? Who gives a shit? Some bored dude thinks Google is racist because he thinks one of their Google Doodles depicts a black man running on a watermelon track. That’s fucking ridiculous. Google is racist because they depicted that same black man holding one of the “O”‘s in one Google Doodle, and then the next day that same “O” was missing.

Some chick that battled bulimia, which left her without a gag reflex, was demonstrating how she has no gag reflex and accidentally swallowed a butter knife. What makes this fucking whack is, this isn’t the first time she accidentally swallowed a goddamned knife. Women. Tully’s looking for a good, reliable opiate pill to take – which we all know Rude Jude could hook him up like a rock star – but regardless, as one might imagine, TJES listeners had tons of suggestions. I don’t even remember how this topic got started, but there was a debate on whether you’d rather fight a horse sized duck, or a bunch of duck sized horses. I haven’t started tonight’s pill poppin’ party yet so I can’t give a well thought out answer to that. But what I can give you an answer to is the question your mom is always asking – “hey baby, want some company?” And the answer to that is: Put your hands behind your back and get on your knees, you’re being arrested for prostitution. OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/2/2012

Sorry I’m late folks I got held up at the doctors office for my physical. Unfortunatly the office had incredibly shitty service so I had to go back and relisten to the show. Shout out to the new Sirius mobil app. Fortunately for me the doctor didn’t see any reason to check the ol skin chandelier which is a more than I can say for Rawdog and his fabulous roomate. Let me explain, Josh said he had a dream last night of a rather large, say man sized woman, giving him a handjob. Only a few days before he went on a super spectacular birthday bash with said roomie. Looking at the facts its not hard to see that two plus two equals HAAYYYYYYY! Jude was on the show again today and discussion turned to the ever so fantastic phenomenon, wet dreams, that is unless you do your own laundry. Ellis and Tully claimed to have never had a wet dream where as Jude had one while staying at a family members house and “murdered the sheets” with his load.

Junior Seao died and it is being investigated as a suicide, very sad news especially for the people of San Diego. The show turned to religious talk again, which turned to religious fanatics, turned to Afghanistan, then porn, then freaky Afghani bestiality and child porn. Apparently they’re not satisfied with good ol “wholesome” American porn. There was a bit of a teaser today for Worlds Greatest Wednesday but just as we attained full erection in preparation for the twitter raping, they pulled out leaving us with our dicks in our hand once again.

Ellis is starting to get into the Blues a bit, music not hockey, I know you Candians were thinking it. He got some suggestions for Lightnin’ Hopkins and Howlin’ Wolf, but no Muddy Waters or Blind Melon Chitlins. All these boys are so old they shit dust and fart rust, and also were the inspiration for modern day rock acts like Led Zepplin and others. Well, all but Blind Melon Chitlins, who famously sang a nice little ditty about chowin the beave.

Ellis cut out early today for a TV gig leaving us with the always great, Dog Center with Rawdog and Tully. Everything was going casual until our friend @sharkchucker reminded Tully that he has a 15 minute get out of work early card. And being the genius Tully is, he stayed, only to play that pile of shit Marlins song over and over. I think the only thing worse than that song is the noises that come from your mums flappy meat purse as she chases down the ice cream truck. OH!