Well kids, gather around the ol’ camp fire and listen up to the Thursday tales from The Jason Ellis Show. So uh you know how when you have puffy socks on and you can’t tell where the shoe stops and the skin begins? And that feeling you get when your snuggled up in your sheets is as close to feeling your insides as you’ll ever get. Look kids, your uncle Ghostload ain’t gonna lie to ya, the first hour isn’t going in any Backbone official recaps anytime soon……but still better than 98.2% of the other shit out there -so- How could you say no to having a pussy for one year, and still keep your cock n balls? You can’t – gotta try it once right! But no tits though, that’s just too much, and would you get all emotional and shit as part of the package, this and more but first. Good old Sam Rubin joined the show again to shoot the shit, plus his Oscar red carpet show coming up, and totally disrespect the show. Did you know he doesn’t even follow Young Wing after he gave him a nice EllisFam Flex to boost his followers? Of course Ellis called him out on it, and Sam just replied he subs that out so let’s just ask the guy who runs Sam’s twitter. Yeah well that dude called, and basically said that’s BS, even despite Sam’s attempt to blame a glitch in twitter. Honestly, who gives a fuck about twitter, but its principals that matter here. Other shit – Sam owns a blackberry, and had his twitter followers go from 10,000 to 100,000 in a day or so, but then magically down to 30,000 shortly thereafter. Whatever dude – He’s a dick to Tully, totally full of it and proud to say so. Check out his red carpet shit or whatever your mom wants you to do. There is this video of Andy Dick on Sam’s show going ape shit on Howard Stern. Other than that, check out Bernie with Jack Black cause Tully said so.
Check out this year’s front runner for Best Picture at this year’s Oscars. So this muthafucker here just lost his gay porn star mind. Shout out to Scott Green and his #FullHomo ass, a true EllisFam ledge from way back if you don’t know what’s up. Sounds like he may have an upcoming role in the potential masterpiece Gory Hole. Think of a glory hole in Hostel, and let your mind wander. Its gonna get pretty nasty, but hard first, then just nasty – check it out! More nasty for that ass, this chic here was arrested for fucking her pit bull in public. I really ain’t got no advice for that bitch….or any of these bitches on your favorite segment, Teen Talk. This is where Rawdog reads off some questions for teen magazines and Tully n Ellis answer them. So, if you suffer from an online boyfriend who lives in Iraq and you love him but don’t know what to do, or maybe just don’t know how to give a good blow job and need help (Don’t we go over this like once a week?), and if not that I’m sure your 17 and dating a 25 year old who just found out and is now pissed…..What do you do? Nah, wasn’t shoot yourself this go around, but yeah some dumb bitches and more on that to come. Did you know Cumtard is filling his free time from not answering the phones by working Craig’sList for guests and/or a new job? More Teen Talk – Can you get preganat from precum? Friends with pill and college dude addictions. Some chic who lives with her grandma and isn’t allowed to fuck her boyfriend yet. You get the drift – they should all shoot themselves, or just get the AIDS and be done with it!
Hollywood News time kids – Josh Borlin and Diane Lane are getting divorced even though
he “allegedly” beat her who give a shit. Lindsay Lohan lost her lawsuit against Pitbull. Friend of the show Jackson Strong showed up on TMZ, but with a shirt on this time. Hey man, seriously, who is the biggest loser on The Jason Ellis Show? Is it Cumtard, or how about Will ‘JizzCult’ Pendarvis III? Nah, its Rawdog with Sam Rubin as a close second, OH! Riveting talk from here boys n girls. Let’s talk hair! Is Rawdog going bald? Should he get the Jason Newsted with long hair in a pony tail and shaved sides? Isn’t Will’s hair just the greatest, he’s so dreamy. Think that’s not hot shit – Check out Beard Talk and how Tully’s got too much stubble. OK, Beard Talk sucks, back to Hair Talk – Did you know Rawdog had blue hair back in high school? Apparently Ellis used to dye his hair a lot too, and may explain why he’s bald as a muthafucker. Dave Lombardo is out of Slayer for trying to get all smart and shit, and that ain’t fucking metal so fuck that dude he’s out! Good shit -King Mo Lawal fights tonight in Bellator so if you read this in time go check that shit out! Not only does Shia LaBeouf wanna fuck his mom more than us here at NoYouAre, but he wants to fuck Alec Baldwin too, but he’s on his own there! Finally in Hollywood News, Matthew McConaughey has lost his fucking mind, but not that sweet ass hair….and here’s how!
Women Am I Right? Truck Yeah you are if your a hair dresser lady in the UK who put $1000 a month into the wrong account cause well you know. Trucker Yeaher if you know a guy from a dating sight, but never met, and give him $450K for his new gold mining business. Truckest Yeahest if you shoot your free throws like this bitch. All of a sudden shit got fucking Sirius at The Jason Ellis Show when Will ran into the studio with scissors and other sharp objects to slash up Rawdog’s face. Why you ask? Just a zit, but still that dude held a knife to the Illusionists face and took off a piece, Red Dragons Will! Back to Women Am I Right, am i right? So if your Valentine’s Day sucked, you can feel better after reading about this crazy bitch and what she bit of of her boyfriend. Tully says a woman on average spends over 1 year of her life putting on makeup, and I call bull shit – its at least 5+ my friend. And finally, we have ourselves a winner ladies and gentlemen – Women Am I Right? Oh and Ellismate had a Jew Cookie and the fortune inside didn’t really apply to him – so be sure to check out JewCookies.com and get it up ya super accurately!
So I told ya the show wasn’t a huge success today, but still better than 4 hours of Mad Dog Russo, fucking hell man. However, Ellis did do that super cool phone call thingy at the end of the show – Ya know where he just takes calls, but with no one else there – just Ellis and the fans – one on one – mano y mano, well uno y uno. It’s basically Final Calls on steroids which is pretty bad ass. Nothing too sweet other than Bieber talk and why Ellis doesn’t do hard drugs anymore, for the umpteenth time. But once in a while you do come across a gem, and today it was the caller’s idea of a contest where a caller is on the show for an extended period of time, maybe an hour, and gets to just fit in and riff and see how it goes. Not sure what then end game is here, but fuck it I’m in! Ellis also did reminisce on Wolf Knife Laser Torch and its origins. Other than that, I’d like to thank Barry for giving me the strength to persevere through Sam Rubin’s bullshit, and I’d like to thank the Dog Father for making those tasty little Jew and Honky Cookies we all love so much, and most of all I’d like to thank your grandmother for getting that dingle berry off my ass that had been there since at least last weekend……with her teeth, OH!