Monthly Archives: March 2012

Guess What?

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CHICKEN BUTT! Fried in grease, want a piece?!

HAHAHAHAAA OMG I’m soooooooo funny gurl! Shooooo weeeee! Okay, that was a total exaggeration. I’m not really that funny, I stole that whole “chicken butt” joke, I’m not sure who came up with that one, I think it might have been Jesus. I mean, how can someone live up to that? No matter how hard I try, I just can’t top it. Or can I? Anyway, that’s not really the point behind this post. So now you’re sitting there reading this and in your head I can hear, “So, WTF? What is this post about? Are you going to try and make me laugh or what?” Well, I’m going to try to do just that, and I’ll tell you why I try to do just that.

My sense of humor has been called pretty much everything. Dark, twisted, rude, crude, dry, insensitive, derogatory, sexist, racist, negative, awesome, etc. But why do I try to make you laugh? Because it makes you feel good. And by making you feel good, I feel good. See? Me making you laugh can be for my own selfish reasons. Good selfish reasons though, we both gain from it. And I like to make people laugh or at least smile, I also like blow jobs but that’s neither here nor there (unless you give free, no strings attached blow jobs.)

So there you have it. You and me have a relationship together. It’s a “give and take” relationship, it’s even, we both benefit from it. Matter of fact, I might benefit a little more than you. And that’s only because any money your mom makes hooking goes to me and I’ll give her what I think she deserves. Also, I am not your daddy. Sure I’ve slammed that ditch pig you call a mother, but I made sure I always pulled out. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 3/26/2012

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This is vacation week for the show. Ellis had 1 week worth of vacation left (as we were told) and had to take it before a certain date, or he would lose it. I think I remember Tully saying something about that live on-air so I don’t doubt it’s true. It’s worth noting though, Ellis must get 5-6 weeks of vacation or PTO. Assuming that Sirius XM’s employee vacation year ends before their fiscal year (which does happen in business), or that vacation can only be carried over 3-4 months after the end of their fiscal year, which should be December 31st.

At any rate, the show is on vacation this entire week, so you get “best of” shows and posts like this. One thing that will never change though is the fact that your mother sucks more dick than a Dyson sucks up dirt. OH!

Justin Bieber Is A Lady

Show Re-cap For Friday 3/23/2012

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Today’s the last show for this month since they fellers will be on vacation next week. So Ellis had a meeting yesterday, hence the no live show, sounds like it might have been about driving monster trucks. Weird. I guess driving anything with a motor is pretty cool, but I couldn’t see being that into it that I’d be willing to plan my life around it. There’s a fan of the show helping out today, his name is Valley Will, he’s setting off everyone’s gaydar, and he’s a ruthless phone screener. He was actually kind of entertaining while he was screening calls live on the show, so kudos to that dude, he’s probably having a blast.

Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) was on the show today, he’s an actor / comedian who you might know from Human Giant, Children’s Hospital, or a number of other things he’s been in (like your mom.) Apparently Tully has a bit of man crush on Rob, and in reality, Rob’s interview was pretty good and he was funny. There was some seriously loud banging on the show, turns out it was a very unhappy @rude_jude flipping the fuck out on Shade 45 and the noise carried over to the Faction studio. No idea what he was going apeshit about, when he came back on the radio he was his normal self.

And on that note, it’s time to wrap this muthafucka up and go get all willy nilly. And before I go, I just want to say something to you. I know I always make fun of your mom. I don’t do it to be mean, I love your mom, but sometimes the truth hurts. OH!

The #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers Game

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Every now and then I have a stroke of genius.  Or it was an actual stroke, I’m not sure but I created a new hastag game: #ReplaceWordsWithFollowers. This is possibly one of the greatest things I have ever thought up on a Thursday night before bed in March.  Here are some of the things people came up with.  Enjoy.

 

@bwstrangler: It was @AZ_RedDragon when @EllisMate stuck that @bitPimps in that lady’s @possiblytully and thanked his @KimDultz

@bitPimps中: ‏ At first I was all like, @OMGZeebrazz, but then I saw it was @RachelAndSarah so I pulled out my @tank_yanker

@tank_yanker: I tried to undo her @OMGZeebrazz to see her @CobraTits and she got all @testyboy !! Tried to @bwstrangler me!

@tank_yanker: That’s correct officer, I hit him with @FonzoBlunt object. The body’s in the trunk of my @chevro1et.

@bitPimps: Call me @Amy_L_Sss because I get all @e3guzman when I’m @NCcrushinonRJ her @babythroat like a @BEZERKAH1_3

@bitPimps: If @MyMathGarcia is correct, I should be to send my @RedJammieGirl to college & that would be @atmbcool

@bwstrangler: Can’t wait 2 get all @DougBenson and go @mayhemmiller on a cheeseburger then just @mike_in_canada on the couch

@bwstrangler: my wife’s @bitPimps are huge, can’t wait 2 pull out my @tank_yanker and @AZ_RedDragon all over them

@JohnnySkidmarks: It took @3_days to find out that most of my followers think that I’m a @sarcasticunt

@Jen_E_Morse: Can I lick your @taternuts?

@Jen_E_Morse: I wanna get @DirtNasty with @EllisMate

@AZ_RedDragon: I’m @cantskateanymre and going to @possiblytully for the night.

@AZ_RedDragon: I’ll show you my @tank_yanker if you show me your @herro_amy

@AZ_RedDragon:  I have a huge @mike_in_canada it hangs way below my @bitPimps and its fucking @bwstrangler

@tank_yanker: I drank too much @WhiskeyGirl923 and went @BEZERKAH1_3 then turned into a @Wolfman812.

@bitPimps: I asked my @RedJammieGirl how she wanted her @herro_amy treated & she said to @donaldschultz it.

@tank_yanker: I’m all out of @_Prozach74 , and @Addicted2Diesel now, and my ass is @AZ_RedDragon now…

@tank_yanker: I’ll @bitPimps slap anybody that touches the ladies, and dump the bodies on the @shit_toboggan

@Jen_E_Morse: I want to suck your @GatorHotdogDog and take it in the @dannykass

@tank_yanker: I took my ex to the river in my @chevro1et and @bwstrangler‘d her there

@KimDultz: I wanna get @AZ_RedDragon wasted!

‏ @KimDultz: I wanna @Fngr_Xpressions @_daniBum_ all night long till I get @sleepyjoe_RDS and pass out in the @oilfieldtrash84

@KimDultz: I held my @gungirlRDS up to your @Meaty_OZ @stapleneck and it went @boomer1600 then you were @cogdeth

‏ @bitPimps: I told @KimDultz I was @mike_in_canada just so I could @nickyknac her @VZ4SHEEZY but she said to @Saveit4thewar

 

These are a few of the posts that I could find, there are some really brilliant people out there.  If you have any ideas for Hastag Games send @bitPimps or @Az_Reddragon a message and we’ll put up some of the results.