Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 4/29/2015

You came to the right place for news you didn’t know you needed to know. Details will be excluded from this recap to protect the innocent.  Let’s get to it.

The famous people renting space in Jason’s head have rearranged the furniture and now he’s smashing his toes with every blind step. Joe Rogan, Dr. Drew, Bryan Callen, & Brendan Schaub (probably all misspelled, I don’t care) all know that he will be wearing a drool bucket around his neck. Clearly other action sports guys are still having fun , so what’s the big deal. Weather or not it makes him a bad dad became the topic and the answer is yes. (According to Tully) Continue reading

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 1/29/2013

So you say you like romantic movies?

So you say you like romantic movies?

It’s Tuesday and your mom’s gash is still just a fucking mess, when is she gonna get that crooked shit straightened out, man? Whatever, it’s not like I care, I was just wondering. Chopper Read was pretty much an asshole, but a glorified asshole – at least in Australia, also he has no ears. Jude came in stuntin’ with a new glorious scarf, talking about how he does movie reviews with B-Real. Ellis feels like everyone is mad at him for having a Porsche, like he’s a rich snob or something, and Jude glaring at him while ranting about how people come from all over to help feed the homeless, then leave to go back to their mansions, and Jude’s left with a homeless dude shitting in front of his house. Jude’s into romance movies, so picture this – Jude getting dusted on K and trying to watch Sleepless In Seattle. According to Tully, Paul Newman is a million times cooler than Robert “Ball Bag” Redford, he’s the Garfunkel of Simon and Garfunkel. Tully also admitted to us that he cried at the end of the movie For The Love of the Game with Kevin Costner, and Rawdog admitted he cried watching Field of Dreams, also with Kevin Costner.

Gangster's, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Gangster’s, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Hollywood news time, some guy says he has a photo of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger performing a sex act – and then the 1 person who cares threw up. Ellis thinks one of his neighbors was filming him having sex in his pool, or maybe not, but either way he’ll sue his ass if it leaks out. Rick Ross was the victim of a drive-by shooting yesterday, 50 Cent joined Dingo when he speculated that Rick Ross staged the incident, because none of the bullets that were supposedly fired at him actually hit his car. Daughter of Tammy Knickerbocker from Real Housewives of Orange County, allegedly rammed several parked cars and punched a cop. Lindsay Lohan says she’s too ill to fly and therefore can’t show up to court, but she was photographed out shopping and smoking. You know that whole Chris Brown / Frank Ocean fight thing? Yea, from surveillance footage, neither one actually threw a punch, it was just their posses going at it. Justin Bieber grabbed the titty of one of his fans at a meet-n-greet, TJES groping expert, Will Pendarvis, confirmed it looked like a boob grab but questioned the fans age. Guess who has a moat around their virtual castle, that’s right, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, and nobody really knows why – but it’s there. Whitney Houston’s brother says he introduced her to crack, not Bobby Brown, and the entire world is clamoring to explain to him that he might not want to go around bragging about it.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Can the show summon Jesus? It doesn’t seem that way, as Jesus did not appear or even call into the show. Tully’s motherfuckin’ baby has been keeping his ass up all night long, so he’s got video of his wife singing songs and shit that he plays for the little motherfucker to try and get him to sleep. Aren’t those little motherfuckers cute when they’re sleeping? AJ McLean and his airbrushed fingernails (no Lee Press-On Nails for that man) came into the studio to help save our asses from another NMT with Rawdog. He’s making jewelry and women’s lingerie now, which coupled with his fingernail art, and his man-crush on Ryan Reynolds might lead one to question his sexual orientation, but make no mistake – he’s married. He talked about kissing Britney Spears on a basketball court when he was 13 and some other stuff, and then Rawdog got his little Jew claws on the reigns and took over with NMT, no matter what AJ did to try and stop it. After that, we got to make up potential death metal band names for AJ and Ellis, none were mentioned much less acknowledged except the ones AJ made up, so that was pretty neat. Just about as neat as when your dad stuck his dick in a vice and let the neighbor shit on it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 3/1/2012

It’s Thursday and some of you have long balls, some of you have baby balls, some of you have normal balls, and some of you have no balls. Amtrak tweeted Ellis during the show, and I find that completely fucking strange. The Twitter exchange went like this, and if you don’t believe it, click on their names to see each status:

Amtrak: We heard on your show you enjoy train travel. When was the last time you traveled with us?

EllisMate: Can I get a room on a train to San Francisco? I want to party on a train!

Amtrak: We do have rooms on our trains and we do love to party…to an extent! ;)

EllisMate: Sponsor me! We’ll do our show on a train! Where’s a good place to go from LA?

Amtrak: We would love to talk more about this with you! We will be sending you an email soon!

EllisMate: Boom!

Amtrak: While we don’t have a route to Vegas, our route to San Diego is quite scenic. Do you have any preferences on destination?

Death! Death! Die! Music VideoHow hilarious is that? I’ll tell you, it’s a goddamned knee-slapper “we do love to party…to an extent!” Seriously? Party as in juice boxes and snacks? This makes me think that maybe one day Death! Death! Die! will have a new video out that includes all their sponsors. It might look something like the picture on the right.

B-Real (@B_Real420) was on the show today, interviews with him are usually pretty great because he has some of the best stories about weed, gang bangin’, gettting shot, etc. He’s also part of a march to help legalize weed (surprise!) and is of course an advocate of the legalization of marijuana. He talked about when he was shot at the age of 17, which was a pretty gnarly story that I’m not even going to try and reiterate, it’s much better to hear him tell the story. Everlast (@OGEverlast) also stopped by the show today and talked about his upcoming tour, tripping acid at Timothy Leary’s house, and his songs – he also played some live on the show. He sounds so good it’s hard to tell if he’s live or if their playing a recorded version, that’s one of the marks of a great artist.

And that’s all got for you today, but that should be enough. Peace and I’m OUT! And inside your mother. OH!