Show Re-cap For Tuesday 1/29/2013

So you say you like romantic movies?

So you say you like romantic movies?

It’s Tuesday and your mom’s gash is still just a fucking mess, when is she gonna get that crooked shit straightened out, man? Whatever, it’s not like I care, I was just wondering. Chopper Read was pretty much an asshole, but a glorified asshole – at least in Australia, also he has no ears. Jude came in stuntin’ with a new glorious scarf, talking about how he does movie reviews with B-Real. Ellis feels like everyone is mad at him for having a Porsche, like he’s a rich snob or something, and Jude glaring at him while ranting about how people come from all over to help feed the homeless, then leave to go back to their mansions, and Jude’s left with a homeless dude shitting in front of his house. Jude’s into romance movies, so picture this – Jude getting dusted on K and trying to watch Sleepless In Seattle. According to Tully, Paul Newman is a million times cooler than Robert “Ball Bag” Redford, he’s the Garfunkel of Simon and Garfunkel. Tully also admitted to us that he cried at the end of the movie For The Love of the Game with Kevin Costner, and Rawdog admitted he cried watching Field of Dreams, also with Kevin Costner.

Gangster's, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Gangster’s, rappers, gangster rappers, and kitties. All of them, above the law.

Hollywood news time, some guy says he has a photo of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger performing a sex act – and then the 1 person who cares threw up. Ellis thinks one of his neighbors was filming him having sex in his pool, or maybe not, but either way he’ll sue his ass if it leaks out. Rick Ross was the victim of a drive-by shooting yesterday, 50 Cent joined Dingo when he speculated that Rick Ross staged the incident, because none of the bullets that were supposedly fired at him actually hit his car. Daughter of Tammy Knickerbocker from Real Housewives of Orange County, allegedly rammed several parked cars and punched a cop. Lindsay Lohan says she’s too ill to fly and therefore can’t show up to court, but she was photographed out shopping and smoking. You know that whole Chris Brown / Frank Ocean fight thing? Yea, from surveillance footage, neither one actually threw a punch, it was just their posses going at it. Justin Bieber grabbed the titty of one of his fans at a meet-n-greet, TJES groping expert, Will Pendarvis, confirmed it looked like a boob grab but questioned the fans age. Guess who has a moat around their virtual castle, that’s right, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, and nobody really knows why – but it’s there. Whitney Houston’s brother says he introduced her to crack, not Bobby Brown, and the entire world is clamoring to explain to him that he might not want to go around bragging about it.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Jesus is such a prankster, after all, Backstreet Boys exist.

Can the show summon Jesus? It doesn’t seem that way, as Jesus did not appear or even call into the show. Tully’s motherfuckin’ baby has been keeping his ass up all night long, so he’s got video of his wife singing songs and shit that he plays for the little motherfucker to try and get him to sleep. Aren’t those little motherfuckers cute when they’re sleeping? AJ McLean and his airbrushed fingernails (no Lee Press-On Nails for that man) came into the studio to help save our asses from another NMT with Rawdog. He’s making jewelry and women’s lingerie now, which coupled with his fingernail art, and his man-crush on Ryan Reynolds might lead one to question his sexual orientation, but make no mistake – he’s married. He talked about kissing Britney Spears on a basketball court when he was 13 and some other stuff, and then Rawdog got his little Jew claws on the reigns and took over with NMT, no matter what AJ did to try and stop it. After that, we got to make up potential death metal band names for AJ and Ellis, none were mentioned much less acknowledged except the ones AJ made up, so that was pretty neat. Just about as neat as when your dad stuck his dick in a vice and let the neighbor shit on it. OH!

Show Re-cap For Thursday 8/23/2012

Pound for pound it’s almost over, not summer, we’re still fucked on that, the week. It’s almost Friday. Just one more fucked up day dealing with grown ass children who cry and fuss when they don’t get their way. Well fuck those fuckin fucks, you have a re-cap to read and those snot nosed man babies can wait. In case you haven’t heard, pound for pound England is crap. All of it, I’m not sure why but I heard it on the radio so it must be true. If your not on Twitter, Facebook, the internet, or own a TV, then you don’t know that UFC 151 is cancelled because Henderson injured his knee. Pound for pound the A6K is taking another dive and this is probably the last run for the ‘ol girl. Ellis is thinking about getting a car, something economical and affordable, like the Dodge Challenger. Ellis is back in the blow job game, receiving not giving, and for some reason Dingo is rather obsessed with the details of this encounter. Were you standing? Pants all the way off? Did you smack her forehead with it? Pound for pound it was a bit creepy.

America throws out around 40% of its food, this makes that little kid in the commercials cry. Too bad he’s stuck in some shitty third world and not here, he would love our dumpsters! Wondering which candidate your most likely to vote for, go to and fill out the form and then go on not giving a shit like the rest of us. Then there was moto news, kinda, talk about off shore drilling, fossil fuel consumption, then Chad Reed. It’s a perfect conversation circle. In Ohio some dude is pulling the greatest prank ever, a prank that I myself want to do in the worst way. He has a Bigfoot costume and is fucking with people in the woods. Here is the video.

The guys did a little taste test thanks to Tully. You guessed it, weird Japanese food. This is what was on the menu: dehydrated squid, seasoned seaweed, pickled plum, canned quail egg, fermented soy beans, cheese milk candy, and coffee jelly. Sounds yummy. Horse Force, a force of super horses! Never heard of it? That’s because it was just made up and is going to blow up your children’s morning cartoon adventures! Who doesn’t love horses, and camels and Robert Redford Robot?

They crunch!

Do you have AIDS like symptoms but don’t have AIDS? If you do then your fucked and you should probably stop reading this and go to a doctor. Some people have it and nobody knows why, they just do. Sometime in the near future Josh and Ellis will be swapping three meals and seeing what it is like to eat each others diet for a day. I am actually looking forward to this, mostly because I want to hear what each of them picked for the other more than I want to know their reaction to eating the actual food. Did you know that yer mum wasn’t always a disgusting trash hound? She used to be a disgusting trash hound with a dick, before the operation, OH!