Category Archives: Overviews & Re-Caps

Overviews & re-caps of broadcasts from The Jason Ellis Show.

Show Re-cap For Friday 5/25/2012

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The original death metal cowboy

It’s Friday again and still, nobody gives a mother fuck, a hotdog, or a shit flower. Ellis wants a farm, he didn’t call it a farm, but that’s what it is – Rawdog might call it a menagerie, but still, it’s a fucking farm. Ellis has sore armpits, this stemming from what he thought was a rib being out of place. If there’s a big fat bitch, being a big fat bitch, and bitching at you like a big fat bitch, then odds are she’s a big fat bitch. There was talk about Ellis starting his own show on his website instead of waiting for TV to come to him. The guys came up with an idea to do country death metal, which seems like it would be pretty fucking funny if done right. Also, Rawdog’s country accent sounds pretty much exactly like his Aussie accent.

Nothing phallic to see here, move along

I had to take a second to check to make sure I was on Faction 41 when talk turned to women’s shoes and some dude that designs women’s shoes. I refuse to talk about women’s shoes so if that’s what you’re looking for, you done fucked up sister! Rawdog taught chess to 3rd and 4th graders, the more little details we get on this guy, the more I understand why he probably would rather be perusing a science fair instead of be on the radio. He also wouldn’t mind a back rub from Toby Keith, that seems extremely dangerous considering Toby Keith could hog tie him up in under 8 seconds. YEEEEEHAAAAAW! Rawdog believes that getting a blowjob and watching Freddie Mercury is not gay in the slightest, but getting a blowjob and watching UFC is totally gay. To be more clear, he thinks anyone watching UFC has homosexual tendencies and just don’t know that they are slightly homosexual. Moreover, he thinks everyone (including himself) is at least 5% homosexual and do things they don’t realize to satisfy their tendencies. Jessica’s skewed view on homosexuality ate up the rest of the show because people were absolutely floored at his logic. And low-and-behold he would not budge on his stance, even when presented with questions that used his same theories, but were totally contradictory to his logic. So according to Doc Banger, maybe I should be talking about women’s shoes and hot guys’ buns after all. Let’s move along and talk about the time your mother bought me one of those mood rings. We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead. OH!

Ever had a RawDart?

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/24/2012

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Great news folks, today was a full show! Some people felt that it was uncalled for and a bit “sissy like” to have bailed and other felt that Ellis should take whatever time he needs. Frankly I dont give two shits, it made yesterdays recap much easier for me so BOOYAH!  Ellis didn’t get in specifics about the reasons that he left, he just said that times are hard sometimes. But more importantly, THE HULK HANDS ARE HERE! This is one of the greatest days ever. Now Tully smash Rawdogs cock! Oh and also don’t fall in love with a hooker unless your Richard Gere and she has a gerbil ranch.

Roy of Sigfried and Roy has been molesting his care givers.  This is not shocking seeing that this man had his face eaten by a fucking tiger. Anybody that gets their face eaten off should have free range on all the man ass grabbin his disfigured self can handle. After this the phones went to a disturbing yer interesting version of EllisFam Love Line. Ellis said something about American Idol ripping him off or something, not sure, every time someone mentions that show I tend to blank out. Wierd. Someone on Ellismania.com said that it looks like Rawdog is starting to go bald. Thanks to high tech futuristic computers and doo dads (mainly bitPimps and his photoshop skills) we can see what Joah would look like with no hair. Kinda like if Howie Mandell fell into a pit of ugly and slipped into a bear trap on the way out.

Ellis, along with his many other ventures, wants to try his hand at insult comedy, he tried a little with the callers and I think he needs to practice a little, but he might turn out pretty good. There was also some discussion about what TV show ellis could be on, and I’m pretty sure somewhere in the show he said something about Ellismania.com. Oh, and some gay dude from Big Bang Theory is gay. Thats not the suprising part of that story though, you see one night while your mom was whoring around he was really lonely and needed some “affection” and after paying your mom her usual $3.50 he said that he’d rather fuck dudes than another lard filled cesspool you call a mum, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 5/23/2012

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Such an eventful Wednesday show think that I might find it hard to fit everything into todays re-cap, but here goes nothinng.  Somebody infiltrated the intro song with that shitacular Marlins song, Rawdog thought System of a Down was the biggest metal band when he was in high school (figures).  Ellis wants to get a head tattoo so from afar it would look like he has hair, new Goth rock sucks as much dick as old Goth rock, Tully likes his pork a little rare, and someone called in asking for advise with divorce at which point Tully and Josh took the reigns and after a rather heart felt discussion the show took a music break and returned with a best of show. Nobody is clear what happened or what went wrong, but we all wish the best for Jason and hope things get sorted out soon.

But dont be sad, I created a hashtag game that @bitPimps kicked off called #EllisFamRumors, enjoy.

@Hollow_NorCal Heard @bitPimps & @mike_in_canada are siamese twins who sit on thier couch and share a laptop. #EllisFamRumors

@Jack_The_Cunt #EllisFamRumors I’m not who I say I am. I’m not a cunt.

@bitPimps I heard @AZ_RedDragon recently started a new job, not driving trucks, but as “Tito” in the Chippendales Male Revue.

@Hollow_NorCal I heard @Dutch_RDS  was a spy. #EllisFamRumors

@biiPimps I heard @KimDultz runs a gang that reaches from Boise all the way to the other side of Boise. #EllisFamRumors

‏@bitPimps I heard @shit_toboggan won a “best customer / employee relationship” award. #EllisFamRumors

@cogdeth “@bitPimps: I heard @cogdeth shot a man in Reno just to watch him eat pie. #EllisFamRumors” >~ no, but I DID climb fence in Vegas #OtherSide

@bitPimps I heard @mike_in_canada has pictures of his wang up on Brazzers. #EllisFamRumors

And the biggest #EllisFamRumor is that yer mum isn’t the massive gutter slut that we all think she is, but then again, its only a rumor, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/22/2012

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Swagg, bitches!

Ellis has bush, yup, we’re talking about below the belt – yet he is still the most hairless man, in the studio at least. He also finger blasted a chick in THC’s Porsche and has pissed in a chicks mouth (Katie? She seems nuts enough). There was a weird hissing or air blowing sound that was heard at the beginning of the show, it reminded me of the movie Commando when Arnold Schwarzenegger threw a pipe into a dudes chest and said “Let off some steam Bennett”. Good and/or bad news on the A6K, the West Coast Customs crew said whoever worked on it before, really fucked it up bad. Ellis figured out how to do a mellow version of what the infamous coked out, rubber bands around his shaft guy penetrating himself did. Chris Brown is stepping into the fun zone, I don’t really know what that means – it was just a quote from one of his songs. Let’s just pretend that didn’t just happen, okay?

Pft! I got swagga, bitch!

Shane Carwin (@ShaneCarwin) stopped by the show today with his biggest hands in the UFC, who Ellis has been terrorizing on Twitter like a mofo lately. Enter Carwin to have a tug-of-war with the entire band versus himself, so in case ya’ don’t know, now ya’ know, n-bomb. Turns out that the entire band of Death! Death! Die! is stronger than Carwin as they won the tug-of-war contest, but Ellis got drug around the parking lot when it was one on one time. It’s New Music Tuesday again… Whose pumped up about that? One of you? Anyone? Bueller… Bueller… Bueller. Well Slash had some new tracks out today, and I know I’m probably on my own here, but that dude Myles Kennedy? Yea, I don’t get what the big deal is, I don’t hear “spectacular” when I hear him sing. Oh well. Garbage had some new shit out today, remember them? At any rate, again, New Music Tuesday wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be – so props to Jessica!

Blaaarrggghhhh!

Finally, there were a few semi-funny callers into the show today, including someone who claimed to be “Christopher”, a friend of Rawdog’s roommate. He said he had a great time a few weekends ago and was hoping they could pick up where they left off – with Rawdog passed out and his cock in “Christopher’s” mouth. Obviously this was fake, but kudos for at least a somewhat entertaining call. I guess overall, the callers today were a little better than they have been for awhile. I mean, except for the few callers that could fit more than 2 dicks in their mouth at the same time. Actually, there was one caller, Michelle, who brought the show to a screeching fucking halt by being a dumb cunt, so Ellis ended the show 10 minutes early. And finally, your mom went to the doctors again, this time she was complaining of stomach cramps. She got sent off for some tests and came back to hear the results. The doctor said to her, “Well, I hope you’re ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty nappies!” To which your thrilled mother replied, “Wow, you mean I’m pregnant?” The doctor said, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.” OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 5/21/2012

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Ellis went to see The Cult over the weekend with Will Pendarvis and a few chicks that are pro (fake) wrestlers for NWA or some shit, and it sounds like he had an alright time, sister. Rawdog’s rendition of any song by The Cult sounds like Michael Bolton to me, hotdog, sister. He also did not get laid this weekend, but did go in a sensory deprivation tank, where he could feel himself bump into the sides every so often. You know, that whole depriving the senses thing. The big news? Hold on to your hats, parking wasn’t $7, it was $15! Some Glee chick did something or another, or didn’t do something or another, I don’t know or care which. Seriously, the first two hours of the show was very oddly uneventful, it was actually a bit weird.

Everlast will be performing at EllisMania 8, along with of course Death! Death! Die!, and there is a bikini contest as well! There’s going to be an EllisMania Hall of Fame at some point, where specific contestants will be inducted, sounds like this might actually be in the future rather than this time around. Jon Jones got arrested for DWI and his mom had to come bail him out of jail. I ain’t makin’ no jokes about that dude or his mom because he could smash his elbow through my face, through the floor, and into the bowels of hell. Chyna passed out at a porn convention, apparently it was the 3rd time in the past 3 days. Unfortunately for her, something tells me we might be reading her obituary sooner rather than later. A father sewed his fourteen year old son’s butt together in an attempt to cure his Crohn’s disease. Fourteen. Butt sewn shut. And by dad. The fuck? Also, your mom’s sluttestry knows no bounds. Your mom went to see the doctor this morning for her annual check-up. He told your mom that she had to stop sucking dick. When she asked why the doctor said, “Because I’m trying to examine you!” OH!