Tag Archives: WGW

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 9/18/2012

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Keep that pimp hand strong

Yeaaaahhh motherfuckers! It’s Tuesday and here’s another re-cap for yo’ asses, blastin’ caps, splittin’ wigs, sprayin’ noodles, all that shit – gangster style. The pimp game ain’t easy, and I should know. So if you’re thinking about becoming a pimp, just remember there are things to deal with, such as: Getting your mind right, getting your monies right, getting your hair right, etc. It’s work people, hard god damn work. Rawdog has several homeless people living in the parking lot near his apartment. Tully taught us there’s basically 3 types of homeless people: Crazy homeless, you’re in a bad predicament homeless, and then the other kind of homeless – the kind that want to deal drugs to your children and then eat them. There were several people who called in claiming to be homeless at one point in their life, and the overall consensus was that most homeless people are cray. If you’ve ever encountered a homeless person, this seems to be very true as sometimes you’ll see them yelling at nothing but thin air.

Doing our part to inspire Rawdog

Everyone is excited for November, except for Rawdog, because he’ll be deep throating a dead horse’s dick when Romney losses the election. It has to be sucked correctly so there’s talk about getting him a blowjob teacher for the occasion. Pendarvis, with his demented mind, thought it would be more uncomfortable if he were to suck that dead horse’s cock in front of one of his family members. And that suggestion right there just changed the game! However, if it happens, it’ll probably be happening at the next DDD show. It’s going to be an absolute train wreck to witness Rawdog pull a Burpo, where he shits, vomits, and cums – all at the same time. Some horse fucker in Florida is all upset, saying that the state is so fucked up for not being more zoophelia friendly, he just likes when the horses are in heat feeling the fur against his balls.

Fiddling with another man’s dick isn’t a good look

Tully’s new album, “Retrofit”,  has gotten up to #32 on the iTunes rock chart, or some chart, and that is higher than your album on whatever chart, so suck it. Speaking of sucking it, how long would it take you to pull a dick off a man’s body? What if you don’t get it pulled all the way off and it takes several yanks? At that point, wouldn’t it just be an extremely rough jerking session? So get this shit, today’s NMT and guess who doesn’t get a song from their new album played? If you guessed Tully, than you would be correct. Sure, Rawdog will play Gangnam Style by PSY or Pink’s new album, but fuck his friend right in the ass. What a jealous cocksucker move. Apparently Rawdog is nicer to homeless people than he is to his “friend”, guess his heritage is really starting to shine through! HEYOH! But hey, guess what? In a “Fuck Rawdog” moment, Tully posted another freebie, “Will a Blank”, for you on his Bandcamp page, go check it out if you want.

Even in her hay-day, your mom was a sick bitch

Shiny Shins Pendarvis purchased his Wolfknives membership and is looking for his nickname, he had to provide another button, but he only did one – so his membership is up in the air. It’s possible that his nickname may be decided by a WGW tomorrow! Apparently a lot of people have been getting their Wolfknives packages, but no names. Ellis was getting pissed at the way his manager is handling the Wolfknives shit because people aren’t getting their names on their cards or some shit. So I was talking about your mother to this co-worker of mine the other day. He was telling about how a long time ago, he was having sex with your mom and she looked at him and said, “Make love to me like in the movies.” So he fucked her in the ass, pulled out and came all over her face and hair. I guess this was just before she started hooking, because she was crying and asking him, “how could  you do that to me!” and his only response was, “I guess we don’t watch the same movies.” OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 7/18/2012

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As many of you are hobbling through this week, some still suffering your post EllisMania depression, we learn that Jason’s love tap he received from Mayhem is a torn MCL. For those not too familiar with human anatomy, the MCL is the doohickey that is connected to the thingamajig and controls the whatsit. Pretty basic stuff. Ellis’s vacation in Cabo is set and he is looking forward to it. He believes that he will return a changed man, and Mexico has a strange way of doing just that. I myself can never look at a donkey and a middle aged Senorita in fishnets the same way again. Matthew McConaughey was mentioned and due to the noise of heavy machinery all i heard was bits and pieces that not only declare but support the reason that he is one of the coolest dudes ever.

Paul Gaylord, from Prineville, Oregon, got the Bubonic Plague when he was wrestalin with some pusssayyyyy! If you live in Oregon and like your fingers don’t pet the stray kitty. This public service announcement has been brought to you by this guy. A pair of girls was attacked by a beaver. I swear I’ve heard this joke in a bar somewhere. And in New Guinea there are Cannibal Cults, not to be confused with Cannibal Corpse, that are eating the dicks of men, not to be confused with Nickelback. Also in New Guinea there is a fish that loves the nuts, but unfortunately we all know fish don’t have lips so this is a rather toothy fellating. Wear a cup. Speaking of sucking nuts, Chick-Fil-A doesn’t back gay marriage. In fact the owner or CEO or Head Fucktard came out in the press saying that they don’t think its right or some shit. This is going to start a massive protest at their chicken sandwich franchises and they should be prepared for absolutely fabulous looking picketers, glitter bombings, and the endless hours of Cher songs.

Today was Worlds Greatest Wednesday and the subject was, The Worlds Greatest Thing To Do In The Last Hour Of Your Life. And your final top 10 are…..

10. Hunting deer with a cruise missle

9.   Have gay sex in a Chick-Fil-A resturant

8.   Make a celebrity sex tape with Oprah on a pile of money

7.   Smoke a joint with Willie Nelson

6.   Viewkkake: Shooting your load on the entire cast of The View

5.   Impregnating maids with Arnold Schwarzenegger

4.   Real life “Fuck, Marry, Kill”

3.   Charity jam a bunch of hot chicks with AIDS and Herpes

2.   Create a rollerblading contest, hosted by Nickelback, and blow up the building

and your winner, thanks to Shantanee and her mega 10 million vote, is…..

1.   Frame Jay Leno for murder!

I’m really going to need some Preparation H

Speaking of murder, I saw yer mum at the Chick-Fil-A, and no, she wasn’t giving blow jobs for sandwiches, that’s uncalled for. She was however, taking bets on how many she could fit up her slam box. Want to know the winning number? So do I, when I last checked she was still cramming them up her greasy snatch hole like it was a garbage disposal, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/20/2012

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Alright folks, were halfway done with this week. For some it has been good, others it has been a typical shit storm of bad service, torn pants, forgotten phone chargers, and all around cluster fuck. According to deaf people, they don’t want to hear. According to me, I like hearing, it would really be hard to listen to the radio if I had to read subtitles all the time. Ellis went to a titty bar while waiting for Bestie and others to join him at a club, where he posed as a bisexual man mounting cock lover who also digs chicks, and apparently the “No sex in the Champagne Room” rule does not apply here. Well sort of. More like a hand jobs are okay clause but the price is ass makeup on you slick new white pants. Cavino is funny, or is it Rich? Nobody’s sure but one of them is funny. Comics are all stealing material whether they know it or not, just like this web site is constantly raped for material by all the top comedians. Except girl comedians, this shit is way too funny for them.

Forrest Griffin will be appearing at Ellis Mania 8 as the MMA Sasquatch, so honestly folks, don’t fuck with the Sasquatch, he will fuck your shit up! Shit Nacho is sad, I don’t know why nor do I care. He works on the greatest radio show on satellite radio. I know some people that would give their left nut to be in his position, damn kids don’t know how good they got it. The guys went over more costume ideas for some of the fights, Ellis is pegged on being a Mexican Bandito and some of the other ideas were a ballerina, hot dog, cow, pizza, taco…..fuck, now I’m hungry. And to the astonishment of us all, Rawdog can’t properly identify a jockey. Yes, I said Jockey, those short guys in helmets and matching pants that carry a short whip and RIDE FUCKING HORSES!

Hey, are you a fat ass? Do you like to get wasted but hate driving your rascal to the store to buy all that beer? Well do I have great news for you. Now with Gastric Bypass surgery your lazy nacho eating ass can get skinny and get drunk faster! Just when you thought you couldn’t get any lazier. There was no Worlds Greatest Wednesday today, but we were graced with its power bottom partner, New Music Tuesday, on Wednesday. Josh did it backwards again where Ellis and Tully guess the artist and I think that it should stay this way, games are more fun than just having to shove pencils in your ears to stop the torture. Rawdog’s pick of the week was some whiny bitch singing a song about whining and bitching, you should check it out. Not really, don’t, trust me.

Tully and Fuck Burrito made some new Celebrity news that informed us all that Celebrities are working so hard that they are unable to sleep or properly hydrate themselves. It would appear that this is an epidemic and should be dealt with immediately, never mind the massive amounts of drug use, that isn’t a factor. Final calls were pretty good today, our friend @bwstrangler called in about his “buddy” forwarding a picture of his dick to all of his and his wife’s family. This call was great but it was only to be topped by the 12 year old girl that called and after having a little lesson in proper girl edicate, left us with “cunt.” Well done little girl, your daddy must be proud, wherever he is. Dean Wilson also called into the show but with his heavy accent I couldn’t understand a single word he said, much like yer mum when she tries to talk with a mouth full of dicks, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/13/2012

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You may not realize this, but you are reading my 20th show re-cap on noyouare.lixlink.com! I will give you a minute to celebrate, pop some champagne, buy a hooker, what ever you do to celebrate momentous events. This afternoon we relearned that the Wonder Child was allergic to gluten. I’m not sure what gluten is but I think that it is an allergy that pussies use to justify their pussiness. Getting back to the recap, Josh only ate Wonder Bread as a kid, which according to some listeners is full of gluten. Imagine that he doesn’t even know what he’s allergic to. But that is why we love him and his confusing, childish ways. Meth heads fucked every thing up for the rest of us with normal allergies because now you have to go to the pharmacist to get the good shit, thanks fuckers! Either way, it turns out that its The Man that makes us sick and The Man also makes the pills that make us better, so anyway you cut it, your getting fucked by The Man. That is, of course, your Jeremiah Johnson, then your one bad ass mother fucker.

Rob Dyrdek (@robdyrdek) came in today, and it was a great interview. He talked about the incident between him and Daniel Tosh of Tosh.O and said that if Ellis called him earlier, Dyrdek would have agreed to a fight at Ellis Mania 8. But alas, he did not and now that Rob’s head is clear he feels that fighting would not be the proper move. Rob talked about his charity and also openly apologized to Tony Hawk for the misunderstanding and communications between the two charities and then he started talking about a skate tournament and something about a front side ollie kick flip heel grab 180 into a smith grind ass gape foot fetish flippie grind ball gag. Those who skate know what I’m talking about.

There wasn’t a Worlds Greatest Wednesday today, well kinda. Apparently tomorrow there will be some art critic expert chick who looks at flower vaginas and there were many suggestions on a subject for this art expo from hell. During the suggestions, our dear friend bitPimps was put on probation for his suggestion for “Clydesdale’s ripping women’s faces off,” and rightly so, that shit is crazy and we have discussed this in depth previously. But on second thought, I think it would make an interesting sculpture. The “winner” of this non WGW was “Sad boobs in the rain.” Well done folks, cant wait to see hear the drawings. Oh and the Cougar Life saga continues, Ellis replied to some old dusty vag cougars and is still skeptical if this isn’t a scam. Again, can’t wait until tomorrows show because you know those bitches  aren’t waiting long, they got to get moving before they’re six feet under.

They’re not sad, but neither am I now.

Breaking Ellis Mania 8 news! Unfortunately Andy Bell (@andybell) will not be making it to Ellis Mania because about 8 months ago he dropped an internal load into his wife’s cookie and as your mum knows, you take enough unprotected mystery shots in the box and mistakes will happen, OH!

Show Re-cap For Wednesday 6/6/2012

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What a better way to start a show than with a little “Suck a clit like a micro dick” freestyling! I can’t think of one, bet you cant either, so Suck a clit like a micro dick ootz ootz ootz Suck a clit like a micro dick. Fuck I better get out of that before I start taking ecstacy and trying to fuck a glowstick. California is upping its cigarette tax, sucks to be you. Ellis say a dude whopping up on his half retarded dog and he beat the shit out of him, in his head. In reality he thought he should but did nothing and drove off. At least he did say that if the dog was a kid that he would have actually done something. Thats comforting for all the kids out there, but dogs, your on your own. Somebody was getting beat up and shot the assaulter and this isn’t the interesting part, wait for it. Josh would shoot an attacker to only wound them. Wow, when I heard that I almost dropped my NRA card and spilled my jar of Hopps No. 9. Somebody should teach Mc Tumble Bum that dead men don’t lie and one story is better than two. An actual police officer told me that so I know it’s legit. And Tully was on Hair Nation being a DJ for some reason, I don’t know. But I do know you can hear it here thanks to Cobra Tits.

Zolar from the Howard Stern Show called in because he thought he heard himself mentioned on the show. Nope idiot, try listeneing sometime, its awesome. Many people think that Ellis and Howard are tight but that is wrong. Ellis said that he doesn’t consider Howard a friend, only an inspiration and they don’t hang out and pass notes. Canada has at least 4 flipper babies, congratulations, and we were graced with New Music Tuesday, on Wednesday. Just change the fucking name already, its been three weeks sinse NMT was actually on Tuesday. This NMT was different, and suprisingly good, for once. This time Josh played the song first and then Jason and Tully tried guessing the Artist, it was entertaining and fun. Now I am going to go jump onto my Pegasus and catch some of these flying pigs that keep shitting on my car.

Today was also Worlds Greatest Wednesday and we got the privlege of Mayhem Miller joining the guys in studio. As always, Uncle Mayhem was on fire and kept everyone on their toes. This WGW was “The Best Place To Have Your Penis” or something like that. I don’t think that there was a top 10 because there was a little disturbance in the WGW Force. I’m suck a fucking dork. Apparently Daniel Tosh made a skit on his show that made Rob Dyrdek look like a child molester. This spilled onto Twitter where the two slapped each other across the face with gloves and declared a duel. Perfect for Ellis Mania 8. But the wrench in the story is that Tony Hawk was in this same skit! Say it ain’t so Birdman. Ellis called The Hawk, there was some drama, a little name calling, I’m sure somebody started to cry. But at the end it seems all is well in the skateboarding world and everyone still hates Tosh. So much fucking drama that I almost forgot about the time your mom went to the eye doctor because her vision was blurry. He said that she has to stop masturbating. She said, “Is that why my vision is blurry?” He said, “No you have to stop because I’m trying to examine your eyes and the small from your rotten box is going to make me hurl,” OH!