Tag Archives: Rawdog

Show Re-cap For Friday 7/20/2012

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It’s Friday mother bitches! Or bitches of mothers, maybe? Just bitches? I don’t know. I’ll trust you to get in the right line. Monetarily speaking, on an average, Canadians are richer than Americans. Here’s what you gotta remember though. The US has a population of about 314 million, while Canada has about 35 million. Ellis went to the Rainbow bar with Katie for some tanning contest or some shit like that, and ka-chow! Dave Grohl was there and Katie has known him for years, and he’s never fucked her. So he’s cool in Ellis’ book, he seems cool to me, so he’s cool in my book too, what about your book? Is he even in your book? Have you ever opened your book? You should. Start gently and slow, then work your way to a faster pace – just don’t tear your page or you’ll never get to completion. What the fuck am I even rambling about? God, me! You’re talking crazy talk. Get yourself together, come on. Okay, new paragraph, start fresh. You can do this. Please excuse my pep talk to myself.

Ellis got a raise and a new contract today, so he’s on for another 2 years. That’s good news, the bad news is that today is the last show for 2 weeks while he goes on a vacation to Cabo, word is he’s a massive fan of the Red Rocker. Rawdog will be staying in LA for his vacation and getting back on finishing the “Big Fucking Mega-Boat” movie. I don’t know what Tully is doing for his vacation, but he wears a fucking swimming cap while he swims laps at the YMCA. Let’s all point and laugh! I also do not know what Pendarvis will be doing for his vacation, but I have to assume that he’ll be writing depressing poetry and taking lonely photographs. Tom Cruise is so fucking creepy that while preparing for the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale used him as inspiration after seeing the lifeless, nut job eyes Tom was sporting.

John Salley (@thejohnsalley) came on the show today and started hocking some natural male enhancement supplement. By the way, he’s an ex-NBA champion, radio host, this, that, and probably something else as well. I don’t really know this dude at all or anything about him, and as the interview first started, I was very skeptical. Turns out, it was an interesting interview and he seems like a cool enough guy, he actually has shit to say. He did call Jason, “John Ellis” though, that was kinda funny. Hey, did you know it’s in the Death! Death! Die! rider that Tully gets a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black? That’s a rock star move right there! Some chick called in to the show to say that she had a dream about Jason the other night, she was going to leave her husband to be with Jason. Stalker alert!

Quite a few people called in telling Ellis to have a great time while on vacation, and others called in to warn him not to get caught in the crossfire of drug cartel wars. Some people think it’s nothing to worry about, and others say all of Mexico is a war zone. And that’s why whenever I travel, I like to pack automatic weapons. Sure, now days it prohibits me from traveling anywhere, but boy, if I did, and someone started warring with me, watch the fuck out! If you really want to find out the in’s and out’s of traveling, you should really ask your mom. She’s been all over the place, from the soup kitchen downtown to the run-down shit shack crack house, all the way over to the seedy motel that charges by the hour. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s because she’s a total whore who sells her festering pussy out to anyone with a spare cigarette. I’m just saying that she… just kidding. That’s exactly what I’m saying. OH!

Rob Corddry Interviews – 2011/2012

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Rob Corddry has been on the show twice, once in June 2011 and again in January 2012, which might suggest that he is due to return soon. In addition to the timing, season 4 of ‘Childrens Hospital’ is set to debut on August 9th (Adult Swim at 12 midnight) and I believe our very own Jason Ellis will be in episode 1!

Shoutout to @TheLobotomizerG for the suggestion. Enjoy!

Rob Corddry interview – 6/15/2011

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Rob Corddry interview – 1/30/2012

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Thursday 7/19/2012

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Welcome to the smooth sultry sounds of today’s re-cap. It might be all that but it doesn’t hold a candle to Rawdog’s sexy voice. Tully made him use it and seduce him, and I don’t

¿Quién es este Van Halen hablas de?

know about the rest of you, but my pants were ankle bound in no time. Josh’s now regular lucha libre partner has never heard of some of the most iconic bands in my lifetime and for sake of time I will not rant about that. Instead I will wait until Josh unleash this epic ten song selection of “white boy” rock and see what she says, then I shall unleash the feathered hair fury! Ellis finally arrived, probably traffic again, and noticed that someone ate the fucking mint. WHO ATE THE FUCKING MINT! It was Jude, apparently he had a bad case of the zactlys and the mint was necessary at the time. He apologized and will promptly replace the fucking mint. Then I’m pretty sure they started talking about eating in the bathroom, the “bitchen.” I think my brain blocked this from itself because that’s fucking gross. The 5 second rule DOES NOT apply in the bitchen, it it falls, tough shit.

 

I used this hand!

The actor, Fred Willard was caught with his dick in hand at an adult movie theater and was arrested by a peeping tom cop who claimed he was “Jacking his rod.” What kind of a world do we live in when a man can’t watch porn in a public porn place and flog the bishop or pet the one eyed snake, wax the wood, butter the corn, choke the chicken, fumble your frank, hump your hand, flick your dick, whack your pud, shag your shank, shampoo the moose, wrestle with Jimmy, wait, what was I talking about? Oh well, moving on. Hey fatty, money you used to buy that double bacon four pounder you got a Shit Donalds King is going to support some sort of religious based, hate the different, owners and their charities. Enjoy.

CumTard came in the studio today. I think it was to talk a little about his fight with @Shit_Toboggan but it was probably just to give the guys another bag of pubes. He left after only a short time which was my favorite part of the segment. A tuna diver off the coast of Mexico wrestled and killed a great white shark. I have officially put this guy in the Hall of Manly Men for being the Manliest Man in the world. Take that Dos Equis guy! The Kottonmouth Kings came into the Swinghouse today promoting their new album. Instead of the straight forward boring interview, Ellis decided that they needed to play a game and the loser has to smoke the pubes that Kevin brought in. The game was created by Josh and much like the flaming plane crash that is associated with NMT, this was no different. He made a game that consisted of a number of brain teasers and tests. The KMK’s did suprisingly well and Tully and Ellis then had to smoke the crotch garden that was given earlier. It was a good appearance and they mentioned a few times that people should go to www.kottonmouthkings.com, they even mentioned that they will post video of Ellis and Tully smoking the pubie doobie.

Final calls were pretty standard and the “Matterdaddy” guy called in again. I think that i am starting to enjoy his persistence, he is truly dedicated to his shitty joke. Before I forget, Ellis will be on vacation next week, so plan your whining and bitching accordingly. Me on the other hand will have afternoons free to spend with yer mum, trying to figure out which wrist watch is mine that I found in her vagasaurus, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 7/17/2012

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More than meets the brown eye, fear the fabulousness!

Hey, hey, AD from Houston here with another re-cap. Seriously though, who the fuck is AD? Why is he in Houston, what the fuck is there? Does he do anything besides Faction updates? Is AD even a real human or is it a computer? Questions like these are what made Arsenio Hall go “hmmmm”. Jude came on to talk about how pilled out he was during the first part of EllisMania 8 and how he had a great time hanging out with Ellis fans. And there was more talk about Rawdog potentially being known as “Fag-a-tron” since his Shade 45 rap debut, which of course he isn’t, just as long as you don’t ask Jude’s listeners. Ellis’ knee is all filled up with fluid and looking pretty gnarled, that’s gotta feel great, shout out to Mayhem – ya dumb shit. He also took the liberty of steeling the motorcycle helmet that Chad Reed (the guitarist in D!D!D!) wears during shows, and won’t give it back. Props again to that dude for upping his douche level on the market by a solid 3 points.

As we age, we all get to a point where we just don’t care about some things anymore.

Ellis wants to make EllisMania 9 even bigger, but he knows that the bigger it gets, the more stressful things will become and more chances of pissing someone off. But, like a lot of people, he’s always striving for more, so much so in fact that he tends to never be satisfied with what he has recently accomplished. That spawned some interesting conversation from the guys concerning their own work ethics, how they feel about where they’ve come from to where they are now in their lives, etc. Tully talked about how while working for Carson Daly, his highlight was getting Carson to read something he wrote. A very familiar feeling for some of us who tweet the show like we’re mute and suffer from tourettes syndrome, I’m sure most of us enjoy hearing our tweets get read on the show. I don’t know if it’s so much for the recognition as it to just hear something you’ve created be good enough to be repeated to listeners. The whole conversation was actually pretty interesting, maybe more so to the older crowd versus the younger crowd, but it had some pretty good insights and retrospectives for everyone.

AIDs sandwich: Bread, mayonnaise, cheese, and extra AIDs.

Some dude was eating airplane food and got stabbed in the mouth with a needle, and now he’s on AIDs medication. Nope, that’s not a joke, it’s for real. Where’s the fuckin’ TSA on that one? Probably busy putting AIDs infected needles in airplane food. Take that TSA! Internet balls are all swollen! The Boy Scouts are still banning homosexuality, shocking, I know – a religion based group against homosexuality? Some listener called into say he was once a Boy Scout and that they are some hardcore brother fuckers. I can only assume that is very true. Speaking of AIDs sandwich, your mom used to employee of the month at Subway for several years running. Not because she did a great job at making AIDs sandwiches, but because she was the one that came up with the $5 footlong specials, and as you might have guessed, it wasn’t about sandwiches at all. She was the talk of North America and doing great until it was revealed that instead of using mayonnaise, she would regurgitate all the loads she swallowed into the dispenser – essentially baby birding everyone with cum. At that point, Jared broke up with her and began his new diet. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 7/16/2012

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DanOD5 getting his interview on after some thuggery

Holy shit, I’m still reeling from @DanOD5 winning his fights! That had to of been one of the bigger surprises that night, I think, maybe, or maybe not. I dunno. I know I was floored. Rawdog officiated a marriage between two lesbians while they were in Vegas, and according to Cullen, he then promptly started trying to sleep with one of them but he got cock blocked by smooth operator Jude. Or maybe it was just the massive zit embryo he had festering on his face. Ellis couldn’t take it anymore and cut the umbilical cord on that sucker for him today on the show. After knocking Gay Bruediger out in the second round, while Ellis was celebrating his victory, he got a little surprise. He got kicked in the leg by Forrest Griffin and then Mayhem got him really good in the knee and fucked up his PCL. Congratulations on your win, now find a wheelchair and fill up on the pain meds! I guess that’s how some MMA guys like to congratulate each other.

MMA Sasquatch lurking and rubbing his jerky in the background

Dingo started one of the rounds in his fight on the top turnbuckle, what a fucking champ! Both he and Danny (not OD5) had been drinking before & during their fight and mysteriously after their fight, there was a vomit trail leading down a set of stairs. I’m guessing that could have been a combination of Jack Daniels, being out of breath, and getting socked in the stomach by MMA Sasquatch. Ellis was awarded the MVP trophy and promptly gave it to @FaceplantLauren and @Shanwize1 for their epic battle in the ring during the “Humongous Bitch” fight, in which Lauren won. By most accounts, it was the best fight of the night and deserving of the MVP trophy. And now seems like a good time to give you a re-cap of the rest of the fights and the winners: Cumtard defeated @shit_toboggan, @Dutch_RDS ended up winning the blindfold shock collar fight, some dude dressed as a belly dancer beat out @Cogdeth in the musical chair fight, and @TheRealRubyR defeated Rawdog.

Mayhem Bot making his rap debut with Death! Death! Die!

Apparently Mayhem was pretty blasted after the fights, but I guess he deserved it after his performance the previous night at the Death! Death! Die! concert. Tully said there were quite a few people who said that was probably the best show the band has put on. So congratulations to everybody in the band as well as the guest stars, everybody in the bikini contest from Friday, and everybody that participated in the fights on Saturday night! And shout out to all the other peeps who got to go to Vegas to experience EllisMania 8 in person! Even though the entire weekends worth of shows put on by EllisMania were probably wicked sick yo, I’m willing to bet if you were to ask everyone who went “what was the best part”, most would answer “meeting everyone” – but since I didn’t go, I can only speculate. At any rate, I’m glad to see you all had fun and all (or most all) have made it home safe sound. I mean shit, just think of how horrible it would be if something bad had happened to you there? Who knows, maybe you would’ve never gotten the chance to kiss your mom’s jizz covered face ever again. OH!