Show Re-cap For Friday 7/20/2012

It’s Friday mother bitches! Or bitches of mothers, maybe? Just bitches? I don’t know. I’ll trust you to get in the right line. Monetarily speaking, on an average, Canadians are richer than Americans. Here’s what you gotta remember though. The US has a population of about 314 million, while Canada has about 35 million. Ellis went to the Rainbow bar with Katie for some tanning contest or some shit like that, and ka-chow! Dave Grohl was there and Katie has known him for years, and he’s never fucked her. So he’s cool in Ellis’ book, he seems cool to me, so he’s cool in my book too, what about your book? Is he even in your book? Have you ever opened your book? You should. Start gently and slow, then work your way to a faster pace – just don’t tear your page or you’ll never get to completion. What the fuck am I even rambling about? God, me! You’re talking crazy talk. Get yourself together, come on. Okay, new paragraph, start fresh. You can do this. Please excuse my pep talk to myself.

Ellis got a raise and a new contract today, so he’s on for another 2 years. That’s good news, the bad news is that today is the last show for 2 weeks while he goes on a vacation to Cabo, word is he’s a massive fan of the Red Rocker. Rawdog will be staying in LA for his vacation and getting back on finishing the “Big Fucking Mega-Boat” movie. I don’t know what Tully is doing for his vacation, but he wears a fucking swimming cap while he swims laps at the YMCA. Let’s all point and laugh! I also do not know what Pendarvis will be doing for his vacation, but I have to assume that he’ll be writing depressing poetry and taking lonely photographs. Tom Cruise is so fucking creepy that while preparing for the movie American Psycho, Christian Bale used him as inspiration after seeing the lifeless, nut job eyes Tom was sporting.

John Salley (@thejohnsalley) came on the show today and started hocking some natural male enhancement supplement. By the way, he’s an ex-NBA champion, radio host, this, that, and probably something else as well. I don’t really know this dude at all or anything about him, and as the interview first started, I was very skeptical. Turns out, it was an interesting interview and he seems like a cool enough guy, he actually has shit to say. He did call Jason, “John Ellis” though, that was kinda funny. Hey, did you know it’s in the Death! Death! Die! rider that Tully gets a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black? That’s a rock star move right there! Some chick called in to the show to say that she had a dream about Jason the other night, she was going to leave her husband to be with Jason. Stalker alert!

Quite a few people called in telling Ellis to have a great time while on vacation, and others called in to warn him not to get caught in the crossfire of drug cartel wars. Some people think it’s nothing to worry about, and others say all of Mexico is a war zone. And that’s why whenever I travel, I like to pack automatic weapons. Sure, now days it prohibits me from traveling anywhere, but boy, if I did, and someone started warring with me, watch the fuck out! If you really want to find out the in’s and out’s of traveling, you should really ask your mom. She’s been all over the place, from the soup kitchen downtown to the run-down shit shack crack house, all the way over to the seedy motel that charges by the hour. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s because she’s a total whore who sells her festering pussy out to anyone with a spare cigarette. I’m just saying that she… just kidding. That’s exactly what I’m saying. OH!

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