Tag Archives: Jason Ellis

Show Re-cap For Monday 9/17/2012

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Elderly Elvis

Happy friggin’ Monday, and Red Dragons, bitches. Did you say that in that chicks voice or your own? Hey, did you know Tully released his album “Retrofit” today, and he also gave you one song to download for free? Did you know Ellis banged Katie in a hot air balloon Sunday morning, while he was dressed as Elvis and Katie was dressed as Conan’s dead girlfriend? Well, now you know all that shit I just mentioned. But wait! There’s more, if you wanna fuck in a hot air balloon a mile above the earth, make sure you call Above the Rest, that’s their bread and butter! Donald Schultz was supposed to be there for the hot air balloon experience, but once again, he did not show up. Does Donald have a new drug habit we don’t know about, has he turned to murdering and eating blicks? We may never know if he keeps ducking us. Ellis is feeling some heat from him being so open with his life, and what it may or may not do to his children. Pendarvis and Rawdog got in some trouble at the start of the show today. Phones weren’t working and buttons were missing… WILL! The voice machine wasn’t plugged in and shit wasn’t there… RAWDOG!

Sweet Baby Richmond’s knuckle shuffle technique

Tim McGraw’s roadie called into the show to let everyone know that Tim’s been talking big time shit about Ellis, unfortunately, that caller was a liar – a phony, a great big phony, a big fat phony! Some fifteen year-old shit-kicker called into the show, saying he hates living in his tiny redneck town. He likes playing drums, smoking weed, and painting. I missed more of the show due to work, so next thing I came back to was Rawdog talking about cum shooting out of his dick like a sprinkler. I have no clue what that was about, but I tend to believe him that it does. Turns out he doesn’t really know how to jack off properly either, he’s right handed, but uses his left hand – which kind of similar to “The Stranger” because you’re not using your dominate hand, but apparently his motion is all out of whack. HEYOH! Out of whack! Get it? I slay me. Shaun White (aka The Flying Tomato) got arrested for getting wasted, trashing a hotel room in Tennessee, busting his head open, and pulling fire alarms in a desperate bid to escape the long arm of the law. Sounds like Sheriff Buford T. Justice got his man though.

Your mom, working that chair over

What’s your favorite method of birth control? Alligator poop in the pooter? A sponge soaked in lemon juice stuffed up the slit? Drinking the froth from a camel’s mouth? L. Ron Hubbard’s Diuretics? A picture of Rawdog’s mom? How about onion juice on your dick? Whatever it is, it’s probably just as good of an idea as any of the one’s in the past – so you should try it. Tons of dumb callers today, it seemed like more than normal, I don’t know if it was because it was a Monday or if there’s a moron convention going on somewhere. Believe it or not, your mom had two jobs at one point, prostitute, and McDonald’s drive-thru. I remember ordering a Happy Meal for the children chained in the basement, who happen to write this blog, I pull up to the window and she says, “Sorry about the wait”, and I said “That’s okay, I’m not the one fucking your fat ass.” OH!

Ellis & Krista Ayne (History)

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What do we know about Jason’s latest crush Krista Ayne?

Krista’s entrance to show biz starts with Howard Stern (when doesn’t it?) in the late spring/early summer of 2000. She came in for a Playboy evaluation and didn’t fare too well against Ralph. She returned to THSS on March 20, 2006 as the Penthouse Pet of the Month for April and became one of the first few girls to ride the sybian on the show.

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Some other facts:

She’s been in music videos for:
Pittsburgh Slim
Jesse McCartney
50 Cent
Usher
Lady Gaga
Bon Jovi
Counting Crows
Devin Lima
Dan Baland

She’s been on several TV shows:
Life on Top (Cinemax)
Pants Off Dance Off (Fuse TV)
Bikini Pool Shark (Spike)
Sex & The City (HBO)
The Sopranos (HBO)

And she’s had a couple small movie roles:
Kettle of Fish
Rockaway
Bad Biology
The Lodger
The Bleeding
Rodger’s Number
Z-Rock
Elijah Sincere

Her Penthouse stats:
April 2006 Pet of the Month
Penthouse Pet of the Year runner-up in 2007

And finally, she’s been linked romantically with:
Jared Leto and Kid Rock

If you’re an OG #Ellisfam, you probably know that she has been on the show several times.

I believe the Ayne/Ellis story dates back to the late fall of 2007. She was interviewed by Ellis in the LA studios. The most memorable thing to happen? Ellis ended up dropping his pants…

The story continues on March 3rd 2008. Jason & Tully came to NYC to do a week of shows and Krista came in on that first Monday for an interview. A meet-up at the bar Manitoba’s, run by Dick Manitoba who was the singer for ‘The Dictators’ and was a Faction regular, was scheduled for that evening. Krista Ayne was invited to join and an interview with her was recorded from the bar (in addition to a bunch of fan audio). It was played back the next day.

Unfortunately, I don’t have audio from these shows. However, on March 5th Jason was on the Scott Ferrall Show (along with Anderson Silva) and they mentioned Krista Ayne.

Download (link to MP3)

I’m not aware of any appearances in 2009, but on February 12, 2010 she stopped in again while J.Ellis was doing a week in NYC.  Jason was in the middle of interviewing Kristin Davis (AKA the “Manhattan Madam”)

Download (link to MP3)

And, finally, her latest trip to the show on this past Thursday.

Download (link to MP3)

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/14/2012

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I know why you masturbate, do you?

It’s the 5th and final day of TJES in NYC, that means it’s WGAFF, and that also means that I’m going to stab out your eyeballs with my dick! Just kidding about that last part, sorry. There is no difference between rocks and stones, but rocks are made from stones, and Rawdog don’t know shit about shit – or rocks. Ellis got to make out some more with Krista Ayne, but she ended up getting sleepy and that was as far as it went – allegedly, if you know what I mean. Rawdog went out last night to see his sister and her boyfriend, he flirted a little bit with a chick, who knows how that makes his girlfriend Rosie feel. More discussion about fucking Lycans, werewolves, vampires, and all that shit – it was intense – and by intense, I of course mean who gives a rats ass. Bam Margera woke up yesterday to a 24 year-old woman kissing him, so naturally, he threw the girl off him and called 911 and while he was on the horn with the po-po, she got down on the floor and started masturbating.

Hitler’s softer side.

Kick ass comedian Brian Posehn was on the show today, and it was a great appearance, he’s a funny motherfucker! He talked about his comedy metal band “Posehn” with Scott Ian from Anthrax as well as his ICP performances in front of big, methed out, serial killer looking dudes in clown makeup who hang out on drug bridges. After Ellis did his usual AIDs burp, Posehn asked “Did you just do the AIDs burp? Where did you get that?” It was then revealed that Posehn was the inventor of the AIDs and RAPE burps, he’s been doing it for years and most of his comedian friends had started doing it as well. Next on the show was comedian Amy Schumer, promoting her new TV show that will be on Comedy Central. She talked about her fight on a subway and then Ellis used Rawdog to show her how to choke a bitch out. When Tully mentioned that she has an open ended invitation to fight Rawdog at any EllisMania, Rawdog tried to tough talk Amy by telling her he would beat her because he has more experience, even though she just had him in a choke hold. They traded barbs back and forth until things got a little more personal when Amy called out Rawdog’s nasally voice.

The show was supposed to be simulcast along with Jim Breuer’s show, but it never really worked, though the guys did get to sound like robots for a few seconds. They talked about leaving early today, but suddenly right after the music break, the show went straight into replays from earlier in the week. I blame Will Pendarvis. Oh well, fuck it, it’s Friday and nobody gives a fuck. Hey, I heard your mom started her new job today but promptly got fired. Guess that Indian dating service “Connect the Dots” didn’t realize they couldn’t even charge 1 Rupee for her festering axe gash. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 9/10/2012

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You wanna go to the planetarium, you say?

It’s Monday, it’s the start of a week of TJES in NYC, droppin’ BOMBS on your moms. Why do people get all dumb when traveling to another country? If you ask me, or even if you don’t as me, my answer is the same: because that bitch needs a load to the face. Ellis needed a phone charger, so obviously he checked a strip club and then a jerk-off booth because that’s probably where one would find a phone charger, am I right? However, he didn’t feel like jacking off so, he’ll go back tomorrow and give us a report. Back in LA, Rawdog went to a planetarium with his girlfriend – it sounded horribly boring, but apparently they had a pretty good time – they also had missionary sex. Good times, good times. Ellis’ daughter had accidentally gotten one of Katie’s t-shirt’s from the wash and to be funny, she wore it in front of her. The t-shirt said, “I love Satan” and everyone had a good laugh until it was time to drop Devin off at her mom’s house. By this time, everyone had forgotten she was still wearing the t-shirt, things didn’t go well when mommy saw the shirt.

Pendarvis doing buttons is as cute as OMG!

One thing that nobody knew about this trip to NYC, the trip is for Tully to promote his new coffee table book of artful cock photos. This took everyone by surprise, even Tully, just not the monster truck voice guy on the radio – mainly because this book does not yet exist. Since Will Pendarvis made the trip to NYC and Backbone is in-house, it only makes sense to have Will re-do all the buttons for the show. He re-did the “POOOOOOOOP”, “You should just fuckin’ smile and blow me”, “Well puke on my dick”, “Hard pussy on your ass”, and “Shut that cunt’s mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head”, and “ah delicious cum on the ground, ahhhbllaauuhhhggg” buttons. It was partially disturbing yet full on hilarious. Ellis isn’t nearly as angry as he used to be, Rawdog doesn’t express his anger to a point of fault, so smart guy in the room (Tully) looked for the middle ground where Rawdog get’s a chance to vent his anger. And BOOM! We got our first Rawdog “I’m fucking angry” rant session, which was more emo than angry. He needs work, more angry work.

Shit’s pretty much normal around here.

Some dude fell out of a moving car, got ran over, people stopped to help, he got up and ran towards one of the stopped cars, opened the back door and tried to pull a kid out… he was on PCP. That PCP shit, it makes fucking superheros. High profile guest on the show today, guitar sick cunt Steve Vai stopped by, and if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably younger than most of us. Ellis, in all his refinement, couldn’t help but notice how big Vai’s hands are and asked if he could swim good with those flippers. HA! That’s just one of the things I love about listening to Ellis interview famous people. Stacy Peralta made a quick stop by the show, he’s a skateboarding legend. And again, if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably old enough to be raped, and young enough to press some serious charges. Scott Greenstein, President and CCO of Sirius XM made super brief stop by the show as well, and if you don’t know who he is, don’t worry about it – only Sirius XM employees know if he really exists or not. Hey, did you know your mom tried to get your sister on birth control because she was following in mommies footsteps? Yup, she did. Your mom walked into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Can I get some birth control for my 10 year old daughter?” The pharmacist said, “You have a sexually active 10 year old daughter!?” Your mom then said, “Sexually active? Hell no!, She just lies there and cries most of the time”. OH!

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/7/2012

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Real life Bert & Ernie is terrifying

It’s here! Friday is finally here! How’s everyone’s non-mangled dicks and vaginas? Wonderfurishical! Nobody on the show has seen Will’s penis or his vagina or his cunt-dick, I don’t know what that means – mainly because I’m only 12. However, according to Rawdog, penises are like snowflakes, each one is wonderful and different. Let’s keep talking about fucked up dicks and gashes for a second, micro-dick owners probably do not want to be lumped into the same category as ambiguous genitalia owners. I know none of you are sick of talking about Instagram, but I’m going to keep this brief anyway, you can now follow @Future41 AND @RadioTFB as well as @Tullywood, so there ya go. You could always follow Shiny Shins too, he’s @deadletters, but who cares, right? Get this shit, some dude that claims to be a real-life Indiana Jones made a fucking shit knife, just like in The Woodsman – a shitting knife made out of shit – holy shit!

Remember, treated as an adult.

AsphyxiaNoir is in a vote on Fleshlight to have a sex toy made out of her vag, I assume vag, guess it could be her mouth or butthole? Either way, go vote for her, if she wins because of the show, she’ll come in and they’ll do stuff to her. Don Imus has a ranch, neat huh? Donald Schultz was supposed to be on the show for the past several days, but he’s got a tummy ache or something so he hasn’t appeared. Rawdog would like to be treated as an adult, so everyone – please – stop sending lollipops into the show, he doesn’t want them anymore. Some crazy white chick was wreaking havoc on the streets of New York City, which is pretty normal for NYC, but she’s good looking so you might wanna watch it. Big Willy Pendarvy came up with a new game for the guys to play today, it was a short immigration questionnaire, and you had to get at least 7 right or you get deported.

We’re in the home stretch ladies and gentlemen! Ellis was on a box of Rice Krispies® back in the day, and he was also in a Skittles commercial from 1988, he was the red Skittle. Half the show was the guys learning and battling it out on Instagram, so there’s not much more to say about the show, but I don’t give a shit because it’s Friday. With all this hoopla over Instagram, I almost forgot to mention that you can also follow your mom there too, she’s @CumStarvedFatBitchWithAStache. OH!