Show Re-cap For Friday 9/14/2012

I know why you masturbate, do you?

It’s the 5th and final day of TJES in NYC, that means it’s WGAFF, and that also means that I’m going to stab out your eyeballs with my dick! Just kidding about that last part, sorry. There is no difference between rocks and stones, but rocks are made from stones, and Rawdog don’t know shit about shit – or rocks. Ellis got to make out some more with Krista Ayne, but she ended up getting sleepy and that was as far as it went – allegedly, if you know what I mean. Rawdog went out last night to see his sister and her boyfriend, he flirted a little bit with a chick, who knows how that makes his girlfriend Rosie feel. More discussion about fucking Lycans, werewolves, vampires, and all that shit – it was intense – and by intense, I of course mean who gives a rats ass. Bam Margera woke up yesterday to a 24 year-old woman kissing him, so naturally, he threw the girl off him and called 911 and while he was on the horn with the po-po, she got down on the floor and started masturbating.

Hitler’s softer side.

Kick ass comedian Brian Posehn was on the show today, and it was a great appearance, he’s a funny motherfucker! He talked about his comedy metal band “Posehn” with Scott Ian from Anthrax as well as his ICP performances in front of big, methed out, serial killer looking dudes in clown makeup who hang out on drug bridges. After Ellis did his usual AIDs burp, Posehn asked “Did you just do the AIDs burp? Where did you get that?” It was then revealed that Posehn was the inventor of the AIDs and RAPE burps, he’s been doing it for years and most of his comedian friends had started doing it as well. Next on the show was comedian Amy Schumer, promoting her new TV show that will be on Comedy Central. She talked about her fight on a subway and then Ellis used Rawdog to show her how to choke a bitch out. When Tully mentioned that she has an open ended invitation to fight Rawdog at any EllisMania, Rawdog tried to tough talk Amy by telling her he would beat her because he has more experience, even though she just had him in a choke hold. They traded barbs back and forth until things got a little more personal when Amy called out Rawdog’s nasally voice.

The show was supposed to be simulcast along with Jim Breuer’s show, but it never really worked, though the guys did get to sound like robots for a few seconds. They talked about leaving early today, but suddenly right after the music break, the show went straight into replays from earlier in the week. I blame Will Pendarvis. Oh well, fuck it, it’s Friday and nobody gives a fuck. Hey, I heard your mom started her new job today but promptly got fired. Guess that Indian dating service “Connect the Dots” didn’t realize they couldn’t even charge 1 Rupee for her festering axe gash. OH!

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