Show Re-cap For Friday 2/17/2012

Hey, hey, Tony Hawk here. Not really, it’s just me. I almost had ya didn’t I? No? Okay, well then let’s just move right into it shall we? No? AHH! You fucker, you got me! Good times, good times.

Live Friday morning show today! I assume it was because there was no live show yesterday. No real word on why there was no show yesterday, although during the call from Ken Block today, Ken asked Ellis when he plans on retiring from radio. Ellis said something to the effect of “I almost did yesterday” (paraphrasing there), so I guess maybe he was having a bad day. To answer Ken’s question about retirement, he also added maybe in like 4 to 5 years. Who knows if that is set in stone or not. Since he planned on taking Friday’s off until after his now canceled fight and the time slot change, maybe he just took off Thursday instead of Friday.

There was a lot of Chris Brown talk, a whole lot, like for an hour or so. He’s an uninteresting cocksucker so I’m not talking about him. Hey, here’s a David Lee Roth soundboard to play with though! As previously mentioned, Ken Block called in. They talked about Instagram, some other stuff, and then they watched a video of Ken Block spoofing himself with Nick Swardson as Ken Block, which is pretty funny. Godwar made an appearance today to lead unsuspecting winners to the prize chamber of doom. Turns out it was pretty difficult Godwar contest today, most people that called in couldn’t guess the answers. Matter of fact it got so bad it was just dead silent with the only sound being the fuzzy crackles of a bad phone connection.

ogreKyle Turley called into the show, he’s an ex-NFL player. Apparently he listens to the show, but called in to talk about how some dude got fired (technically “he left his position”) from a terrestrial radio show because he called some huge woman a Sasquatch or something along those lines. He wanted Ellis to talk about it to help get some publicity for the dude in hopes it could help turn around the current situation. Apparently the show is quite popular and a lot of people want the show back. The overall gist of the story is that terrestrial radio is what it is and has always been. It’s watered down, tamed, and very non-offensive. It’s meant to please everyone, which ironically ends up pleasing very few because it’s not “real talk”.

That’s pretty much exactly what happened on today’s show, minus the parts I didn’t talk about or totally embellished on. You do realize I do the same when I’m talking about your mother, right? Sometimes I leave things out and other times I totally leave them in – that’s how you were born. I left it in. OH!

Your Mom's Dildo

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 2/14/2012

Be My Valentine RawdogToday is Valentine’s Day and Rude Judesday, love is in the air! David Faustino (@DavidFaustino) stopped by the show today, you know, Bud Bundy. Apparently he raps? That has to be fuckin’ amazing to hear. Okay, I take it back, it’s not really that amazing. He seemed like a pretty chill cock, his interview was interesting and he had a sense of humor, he did play a round of the game mentioned below. And I did find it funny when he was talking about being able to make money while being comfortable. Taken out of context it kind of sounded as if he inadvertently was saying Ellis looks like shit when he said, “You can look the way you look right now.” Maybe I’m the only one that found it kind of funny.

Blasko also stopped by the show, which also means it was “Get the cock off your chest” Valentine’s edition. It seems there were several people who fucked their best friends’ child, disturbing. Some married guy and 4 of his friends all got a blow job from some chick, he stated she was “full”, and again, disturbing. There were a few others, but nothing quite as stellar as the previously mentioned.

A completely harmless box of Valentine's chocolates. (Th... on TwitpicTully prepared some Valentine’s chocolates and brought them into the show. They played a game where they had to answer questions, the person furthest from the correct answer got a chocolate to eat. As you can guess, these aren’t the type of chocolates you’re likely to enjoy. Here’s the breakdown of who lost and what they got to eat:

  1. Rawdog ate a chocolate covered fish oil pill. Things couldn’t have worked more perfectly here considering Rawdog’s palate for only McDonald’s and Jager.
  2. Ellis ate chocolate covered taleggio cheese treat, it’s some kind of “Italian, romantic, stinky cheese” according to Tully.
  3. Rawdog ate an all milk chocolate made with 100% breast milk! Shout out to Tully’s wife and her recent ability to squirt booby milk out of her teets. Rawdog is now one step closer to being adopted by Tully and his wife. (see “Hard Hitting Questions“)
  4. Blasko ate a chocolate filled with dried cat food, and he didn’t seem to mind at all. I imagine it had a granola type crunch to it and the chocolate probably masked most of the cat food flavoring.
  5. Rawdog, looking for his third delectable treat, got lucky on this one and picked the original chocolate – it had nothing in it, it was just a delicious chocolate.
  6. Cumtard got to eat a chocolate covered muscle, and I can only imagine the stench and nasty that it was made of. Someone was horking, holding back some vomit, I assume it was him.
  7. Blasko came back in an attempt to catch up to Rawdog, he got to eat a chocolate covered olive. Pretty tame compared to others.
  8. Ellis got his second turn to eat another chocolate morsel, this one being a chocolate covered octopus. That had to of been just as bad if not worse than the muscle. More gagging on this one, definitely from Ellis.
  9. Ellis got his chance to tie Rawdog by eating chocolate covered fish eggs from Tully’s Sunday night dinner. Again, this has to be up there with muscle and octopus.
  10. Cumtard ate chocolate covered kimchi (fermented cabbage) and apparently it has quite a pungent smell. But Cumtard is used to eating all sorts of horrible shit so it seemed he choked that one down without much of an issue.

To end off the show, a random 12 year-old called in. I don’t wanna be the one to say he’s too young to be listening to this show, wait. Yes I do. He’s too young to be listening to this show. Kind of like how your mom is too old to still be a hooker, but she still is. OH!

Penthouse Pets melt Ellis’s heart – 10/29/10 (History)

The guys have Penthouse Pets Taylor Vixen & Isis Taylor in studio to play some games and tell wild sex stories. Keep an ear out for the flirting between Jason and Isis. Happy Valentines Day!


Download (link to MP3)

Bonus: YouTube video from Taylor Vixen of Big Cock Karaoke

Show Re-cap For Monday 2/13/2012

Scumbag WhitneyToday’s show started off with moto talk. Basically somebody passed somebody else and then they got passed or some shit like that. And there you have it, fully detailed information overload for all you moto fans out there. There was talk about Whitney Houston, her death, her versus Mariah Carey, her versus Beyonce, and her versus Godzilla (okay, that last one is an outright lie) anyway, I’m not sure what the end result was because I kind of zoned out, sorry ’bout that. Grammy Awards were last night and I could care less, so I zoned out on that one as well. I’m pretty sure if you’re interested in that, you can Google the shit out of it.

Speaking of Google, they played the Google game where Cumtard comes up with a Google search like, “Why do people from New Jersey ______” and you have to fill in the blank, guessing on what the most popular Google search terms might be. That was entertaining for a bit as Ellis and Tully usually come up with some really inappropriate / funny stuff and Dingo (@TheDingoInSnow) just completely goes off any sort of logical path whatsoever. I think Rawdog is probably the only one who gives his actual best answers at most times, which in itself can be funny.

Ellis may have pulled out of his pro fight because he keeps getting sick after he trains a lot, he’s gotta go see the doctor (not Dr. Feelgood). No word on if Friday morning shows will be back or not, but I suspect not. I think he’s waiting for the time slot change as previously discussed. There was some other speculation from a few listeners that I saw, but that wasn’t directly discussed, although it may have been slightly alluded to on the show. Therefore, for now, I classify it as hearsay and so it shall not be permitted in this court of No You Are. If it’s true and Ellis wants everyone to know about it, I’m sure he’ll discuss it. I’m not going to be part of a rumor mill so I’m not going to comment on it.

That pretty much sums up today’s show. I think the only other thing I didn’t discuss was your mom’s cooking and how she likes to cook with cum. So there’s a good chance you’ve eaten another mans sperm while enjoying your favorite dish. EW! I mean OH!