Tag Archives: Michael Jordon

Show Re-Cap for Wednesday 4/29/2015

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You came to the right place for news you didn’t know you needed to know. Details will be excluded from this recap to protect the innocent.  Let’s get to it.

The famous people renting space in Jason’s head have rearranged the furniture and now he’s smashing his toes with every blind step. Joe Rogan, Dr. Drew, Bryan Callen, & Brendan Schaub (probably all misspelled, I don’t care) all know that he will be wearing a drool bucket around his neck. Clearly other action sports guys are still having fun , so what’s the big deal. Weather or not it makes him a bad dad became the topic and the answer is yes. (According to Tully) Continue reading →

Show Re-cap For Thursday 11/29/2012

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Tickle my taint its Thursday again so fuck short people.  Oh, and fuck  people with black hair or that drive PT cruisers.  Fuck people that play golf or tennis, but baseball is cool.  Its a perfect science as Ellis see’s it, but of course motto is better.  Rawdog thinks baseball is complicated, like we didn’t know that shit.  Ellis also fucked up Tully’s honeymoon.  Not like that, nah Ellis and his obsession with shark attacks got into Tully’s head, and he and the misses were near an ocean.  Its all good though since Ellismate is finally a man, well with his chest hairs he’s growing.  Speaking of men, Rawdog said he couldn’t beat Steven Tyler in a fight, but he could take Mick Jagger, uh huh.  Old people could take you and your life, cause they fucking suck at driving.  Tully’s of the opinion that old fucks shouldn’t be allowed to drive during rush hour, and women should never drive, ever!!!  To Rawdog’s joy, Ellis said elderly peoples should be restricted to auto-driving cars.  Either way, they you and I should be as lucky as to realize when we’ve lost our shit.  Tully then lost his shit on all races.  Latin dancing sucks, Africans i mean really, Asians are just hyper white people, Indians stink with their incense and all, and Arabic music just sucks.  And of course the Jews, well they’re just little “Doogie Arabs”, i mean Am I White?

 

Doesn’t his moves look similar to Rawdog in 100 years?

 

In STD News, a third of people aged 13 to 24 have not been AIDS tested, and 60% of those with AIDS don’t know it, and Rawdog’s going to be tested on the show, maybe.  Ellismate’s flip flopping on A6K and what to do with it, either just give the fucking thing away to a deserving fan, or sell it to said fan, and give the money to Everlast to fight Cystic Fibrosis.  Then Jizz Cult came into the room and You Sir, Are A Moron!  Remember this game, Will tosses out a topic, and Ellis Tully and Rawdog state their opinions, blah blah blah your moms a moron.  Some decent radio here, from gambling addiction and cops smoking weed to eating horse meat and taking a shit at work.  Ellis and Rawdog did get into it about flying cars, and the floating lights they’d require for lanes.  All three got into a good debate over if 100 dead heads could defeat 10 juggalos in a fight to the death.  Of course when Sasquatch was brought up, Rawdog lost his cool and well you sir are a moron.  Then we stumbled upon if its rape between animals, which wasn’t a topic, just came up in conversation as is usually does.  Rawdog convinced Tully and Ellis its not, as an animal can not consent.  In the end, this game was really only a ploy for Will to ask his real question, was bombing Hiroshima necessary?  I don’t know Will, you tell me, whats up with the government?

 

Hollywood News time kids – Lindsay Lohan punched some bitches lights out in a NYC club, go girl!  That whole deal with Precious losing all that weight from yesterdays show was total bullshit.  In Sports News (what the fuck?), Michael Jordan has been banned for life from this country club in Miami for wearing cargo shorts.  Brandon Marshall of the Da Bears says dudes be taking mad Viagra to get an edge during games.  Rawdog said he’d like to see that, and would probably get a boner with a bunch of dudes jumping on his back, yup!  Damian Lillard (Basketball dude) is scared shitless of statues.  Meanwhile, Tully is a fucking tool and he knows it and is getting help. He named his kid a combination of the top baby name in 2012 (Aiden) and the name with the biggest increase from the previous year (Grey), but I can’t spell it so fuck off.  Of course little Linsanity was not named after the 50 shades of shit book, nor some dude named Aiden (can’t think of any), so he’s not so bad I guess but still #fucktully!

 

Yo man your fucking creeping me out

 

Woman Am I Right?  This bitch here done stabbed up her husband with duel blades cause he wouldn’t fuck her.  This German bitch tried to suffocate her man with her tig ol’ bitties, which Rawdog was fucking amped on, redeeming himself slightly from the football comment earlier.  This Florida bitch beat her man up, cause he won the Cum Challenge!  And this bitch done gone and beat up her bitch cause she couldn’t find her detachable penis.  Then something happened that is rare for the show, Rawdog called Tully out when he tried to run a story that was already done, the one that gave us the Rawdog drop “Someone’s going to suck my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat!”  This other bitch tried to pull a tube out of her man’s chest, for meeting girls at the store.  This bitch working a Dollar Tree beat some lady up for using too many coupons.  And then there’s this bitch who’s best friend is a 378lb. tiger, so keep your eyes out for our follow up story on this lady real soon!!!  Finally we got this bitch who’s showing her support for Movember, which is kinda cool, but not kinda hot.

 

In case you didn’t click that last link…..Movember!!!

 

Finally we got an update on that Lindsay Lohan story from earlier.  HA, that was just some bad ass story of an anaconda vomiting your mom a cow.  Back to Lohan, so the woman she hit was a fortune teller who approached Lindsay on some crazy shit.  Lohan called her a fucking gypsy, like i said before go girl!  Shout out to that Red Deer, Alberta strip club that was playing Kiss of Poseidon at 3 in the afternoon.  Ellis and Tully told some dude to stop being a pussy and get his red wings, in the shower of course.  And if that fails, just fuck her in a Bane mask.  A bunch of other random shit in Final Calls, like ‘We Wish you a Red Dragons’ and horses do rape other horses!  Also, Ellis is good at doing Rawdog doing him.  Rawdog is much better at doing Ellis though, so much so that Jason’s thinking of taking a week in China, and letting Josh fill in as the sick cunt host.  He may need to get a few tattoos, but the voice is spot on.  Of course if tats go wrong, he can always just “Cover it up with your mom’s face covered in shit”, OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 8/21/2012

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Jude always gets some sort of applause.

Fair warning here, I missed a lot of the show today, but it’s all good. I think I got enough to make you sweat C & C Music Factory style! Rawdog’s tired today, and probably pilled out from his healthy lifestyle kidney stones. Enough so that Ellis called him on it right when he walked in to the studio before work, which automatically put Rawdog in a weird mood. He hung out with his chiquita (Brocolina) last night and drove her non-driving ass home. He also protected her from a raving, rabid dog on dem mean skreets. And since it’s Tuesday, our pal @rude_jude came on the show today and began talking in his latino home girl accent, confusing Rawdog as he got turned on by the accent and words, but was looking at Jude. Also, just in case Rosie is reading this, you should know that the more you get teased, it just means we love you that much more – well Rawdog really, but by extension I suppose.

Kids these days, golly!

Think about this kiddies, a lot of today’s kids don’t know shit from apple butter, or at least they don’t know a lot of shit some of us older people know. To be more specific, today’s 18 year-old crowd – they’ve never experienced many things that were the standard in some of our times. And now, here are just a few of those things that are completely lost on today’s youth: Mailing a letter (snail mail for you youngins), pointing to your wrist to ask for the time, Nirvana is classic rock to them, Ferris Bueller could be their dad, they’ve never had to watch scrambled porn, OJ Simpson has always been famous for alleged murder instead of football, they have no recollection of Michael Jordon playing basketball, they were not glued to the TV watching the fall of the Berlin Wall, some (or even most) of them probably can’t write in cursive, etc. It’s kind of odd for the older generations to think about these things that were so common, yet have become so obsolete. So there ya go – feeling old now? If not, than you’re probably young.

So you say you’re a new intern?

According to Tully, Geena Davis is the female version of Jeff Goldblum… and he’s fucking right! I’ve never really thought about that – you can understand why I’d block her from my mind – but after him saying that, I’m limp and may have erectile dysfunction. So a big fuck you goes out to both Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum. Potential new intern on the show today, “Charles”, who has worked in radio before, he’s 37 and going back to school for radio – particularly he would like to produce. Thirtyseven. Back to school. If you’re just now learning what you want, the road ahead is going to be bumpier than driving over the trash at an abortion clinic. Is that even a joke? I don’t know, I’m tired and give about zero fucks.

Anyway, he was there, introduced himself, and fielded a few questions from the guys – so we’ll see what happens. I would guess he’ll get his shot at being berated by everyone, so start thinking of nicknames for this third-world crack smokin’, pipe-dream havin’, potential intern. Don’t act like I’m some sort of mean guy. You know how everyone is, we don’t like new people at first and treat them suspect until they get a chance to eat our shit and then we judge them on how well they eat our shit. It’s the same all over the world I tell ya. The first time I shit in your mother’s mouth – I had to punch her in the jaw to help her chew it. She’s obviously gotten a lot better at it, as you can see by the six 1 dollar bills she gets to bring home at the end of a night of shit eating. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 5/1/2012

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Goddamnit Bob, be nice!

It’s Tuesday, it’s also the first day of May, so listen to what I say, or I shall proclaim you gay. Damn man, look out Ja Rule, I’m a rhyme master! On an unrelated note, two fucking minutes before the show started, my online player suddenly set me back about 8 whole donkey dick minutes so all my tweets are probably going to be off. By the time I tweet something, they’ll be on an entirely new topic. To that, I say filthy words and ‘scuse me while I curse the skies. There was some more dick talk today, specifically circumcised versus un-circ’ed – which lead into how much Tully thinks of the orgasms his son will have one day. And that, led seamlessly into retarded people and how when they stare off into space, they could potentially be thinking about how retarded they are instead of unicorns.

Don’t listen to her

Somebody claimed Venus and Serena Williams are virgins, it doesn’t seem to be confirmed, but I think the real potential story here is that it’s quite possible that they have penetrated themselves with a tennis racket. That’s just one theory I’m bouncing around in my head anyway. Apparently Octomom is broke and is masturbating in porn to make ends meat. And the real question here is, who in the fuck wants to see that ditch pig rub her bombed out box? Joanna Angel’s movie trailer for “Rock-n-Roll In Your Butthole” features music from Taintstick – you know you’ve made it when your band is played during a montage of anal scenes. The real kicker here is that Ellis’ then 3-year-old daughter is also in that song, so yea, that seems like it should probably be edited or something.

I hope this isn’t true, but it looks like Michael Jordon might be a huge asshole. First was his Hall of Fame speech in 2009, where everyone felt he was settling old scores rather than being graceful. It was also revealed awhile ago that Tiger Wood’s friends and lawyer claimed that Jordon had been a bad influence on Tiger – particularly concerning his affairs and such. And now Chamellionaire is claiming that Jordon is in fact, a super asshole. In the end, I don’t claim to know if Jordan is or is not an asshole, you can make that call on your own. And then there was new music Tuesday! And then I decided to not write about it! And now, since you don’t know much about your whore mother, I’m going to tell you another story about her when you were just a child.

Nobody likes your mom

A few days after Christmas, she was working in the kitchen listening to you playing with your new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and you said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the fuck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train.” She went nuts and told you, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for two hours and think about what you’ve done.” Two hours later, you came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with your train. Soon the train stopped and she heard you say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today. For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your luggage under your seat.” Your mom began to smile, and you added, “For those of you pissed about the two hour delay, please see the cunt in the kitchen!” The moral of the story here? Even when you were a kid, you knew your mother was a worthless whore. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 4/10/2012

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Has everyone recovered from the bloody madness that occurred last night on Twitter? I hope so, because this train keeps-a-rolling, and we’re gonna chug right along into today’s show. Cricket is lame as all fuck, I think we can all agree on that – see, we already have that in common! Rawdog claimed that Michael Jordan came up with the baggy shorts look in the NBA because he would wear his old college shorts under his NBA shorts. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I suppose that it is plausible – and Tully said Jordan also has a big dick, so that seems to seal the deal.

Cumtard not last?Ellis won, in his group, at that go kart racing thing for the Big Fucking Mega-Boat movie shoot. Rawdog finished second to last place, and the only thing surprising about that is he wasn’t in dead last place, that spot belongs to the illustrious Cumtard. However, Cumtard posted an image that seems to disprove that he was the worst driver, instead it’s speculated that Rawdog was indeed the slowest. A fan stole Ellis’ sunglasses, tried to gank Dingo’s sunglasses, and also was going through peoples’ phones while they were on the track. What a fucking dickhole. Also, bitches be trippin’ on shrooms and shit.

There was talk about how to make golf more interesting, and I’m not sure it can be done. Sure you can just get shit-hammered and cruise around in a golf cart, but even that has its limits. Tomorrow’s WGW might just be “World’s Greatest Man-Boy” with early potential front runners being Rawdog, Thom Yorke, Ellen Degeneres, and your mom. OH!