Tag Archives: Will Pendarvis

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/14/2012

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I know why you masturbate, do you?

It’s the 5th and final day of TJES in NYC, that means it’s WGAFF, and that also means that I’m going to stab out your eyeballs with my dick! Just kidding about that last part, sorry. There is no difference between rocks and stones, but rocks are made from stones, and Rawdog don’t know shit about shit – or rocks. Ellis got to make out some more with Krista Ayne, but she ended up getting sleepy and that was as far as it went – allegedly, if you know what I mean. Rawdog went out last night to see his sister and her boyfriend, he flirted a little bit with a chick, who knows how that makes his girlfriend Rosie feel. More discussion about fucking Lycans, werewolves, vampires, and all that shit – it was intense – and by intense, I of course mean who gives a rats ass. Bam Margera woke up yesterday to a 24 year-old woman kissing him, so naturally, he threw the girl off him and called 911 and while he was on the horn with the po-po, she got down on the floor and started masturbating.

Hitler’s softer side.

Kick ass comedian Brian Posehn was on the show today, and it was a great appearance, he’s a funny motherfucker! He talked about his comedy metal band “Posehn” with Scott Ian from Anthrax as well as his ICP performances in front of big, methed out, serial killer looking dudes in clown makeup who hang out on drug bridges. After Ellis did his usual AIDs burp, Posehn asked “Did you just do the AIDs burp? Where did you get that?” It was then revealed that Posehn was the inventor of the AIDs and RAPE burps, he’s been doing it for years and most of his comedian friends had started doing it as well. Next on the show was comedian Amy Schumer, promoting her new TV show that will be on Comedy Central. She talked about her fight on a subway and then Ellis used Rawdog to show her how to choke a bitch out. When Tully mentioned that she has an open ended invitation to fight Rawdog at any EllisMania, Rawdog tried to tough talk Amy by telling her he would beat her because he has more experience, even though she just had him in a choke hold. They traded barbs back and forth until things got a little more personal when Amy called out Rawdog’s nasally voice.

The show was supposed to be simulcast along with Jim Breuer’s show, but it never really worked, though the guys did get to sound like robots for a few seconds. They talked about leaving early today, but suddenly right after the music break, the show went straight into replays from earlier in the week. I blame Will Pendarvis. Oh well, fuck it, it’s Friday and nobody gives a fuck. Hey, I heard your mom started her new job today but promptly got fired. Guess that Indian dating service “Connect the Dots” didn’t realize they couldn’t even charge 1 Rupee for her festering axe gash. OH!

Show Re-cap For Tuesday 9/11/2012

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Go Cullen, go Cullen, it’s yo birfday

It’s a NYC Tuesday! Let’s first get the 9/11 date out of the way. While your hearts may be feeling heavy today, your hearts should also be filled with pride. On that day, you watched ordinary people turn into heros, and you also saw most of the world standing behind the USA. Crazy man, crazy shit. Okay, let’s move on, @Cullensaidthis turned 36 today, so happy birthday to the Backbone of Faction and half of the @Jingleberries! Tully came in with yet another spot on observation, Rawdog looks like the Notre Dame logo when he’s fighting – that old-timey, fisticuffs style. And a caller actually had an observation as well, he looks like Sex Machine when he turns into a vampire, from the movie From Dusk Till Dawn.

Girls when they see Will in action.

Pendarvis was helpful to a couple chicks that were on the radio, he parked their car for them and now he might be getting some poon for his kindness. However, instead of going out with some chicks, he took Cullen out for a steak dinner – no word on if he got to first base or not. But Will did get an opportunity to make some poor waitress nervous, but I assume he didn’t get to take it to the next level where he follows her home in his car and flashing his lights. Jude is in NYC as well, so he stopped by the show today and apparently lookin’ and smellin’ all good & shit for the fellas. Why do fat people have black necks and bad breath? Diabetes, that’s why.

When Rawdog appeared with his shirt off.

Lance Bass of N’Sync fame was on the show today, I’m not real sure why, but hey – there he was. He’s getting into radio and guys’ butts. HEYOH! Actually, he seems like a pretty cool dude and his appearance on the show went well. Right after that, another surprise guest stopped by the show today, Robb Flynn of Machine Head. He’s into wake boarding and sweet licks. Just like Lance, he seems like a cool dude and his appearance on the show went well too. The world renowned Tony Hawk made a short stop on the show as well, TH talked about the TH TH (Tony Hawk Town Hall) that went on yesterday. He’s into skateboarding and cheeseburgers. Chris Brown got a new tattoo. He’s into beating women’s asses and shitty tattoos. Rawdog, sans shirt mind you, interviewed some Chippendales dudes about cocoa butter, workouts, nutrition, and cock. He also took a picture with them that you should definitely see, it’s on his Instagram. By the way, he’s into circle jerks and planetariums.

LA stinks like shit and rotten eggs lately, and I’m left wondering how people are just noticing that LA stinks like shit? They’re trying to blame it on the Salton Sea, but I’m not so sure about that. My theory is that your mom is wearing a dress and that’s what’s been making LA and neighboring states stink like shit and rotten eggs for over 40 years. OH!

Show Re-cap For Monday 9/10/2012

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You wanna go to the planetarium, you say?

It’s Monday, it’s the start of a week of TJES in NYC, droppin’ BOMBS on your moms. Why do people get all dumb when traveling to another country? If you ask me, or even if you don’t as me, my answer is the same: because that bitch needs a load to the face. Ellis needed a phone charger, so obviously he checked a strip club and then a jerk-off booth because that’s probably where one would find a phone charger, am I right? However, he didn’t feel like jacking off so, he’ll go back tomorrow and give us a report. Back in LA, Rawdog went to a planetarium with his girlfriend – it sounded horribly boring, but apparently they had a pretty good time – they also had missionary sex. Good times, good times. Ellis’ daughter had accidentally gotten one of Katie’s t-shirt’s from the wash and to be funny, she wore it in front of her. The t-shirt said, “I love Satan” and everyone had a good laugh until it was time to drop Devin off at her mom’s house. By this time, everyone had forgotten she was still wearing the t-shirt, things didn’t go well when mommy saw the shirt.

Pendarvis doing buttons is as cute as OMG!

One thing that nobody knew about this trip to NYC, the trip is for Tully to promote his new coffee table book of artful cock photos. This took everyone by surprise, even Tully, just not the monster truck voice guy on the radio – mainly because this book does not yet exist. Since Will Pendarvis made the trip to NYC and Backbone is in-house, it only makes sense to have Will re-do all the buttons for the show. He re-did the “POOOOOOOOP”, “You should just fuckin’ smile and blow me”, “Well puke on my dick”, “Hard pussy on your ass”, and “Shut that cunt’s mouth before I come over there and fuck start her head”, and “ah delicious cum on the ground, ahhhbllaauuhhhggg” buttons. It was partially disturbing yet full on hilarious. Ellis isn’t nearly as angry as he used to be, Rawdog doesn’t express his anger to a point of fault, so smart guy in the room (Tully) looked for the middle ground where Rawdog get’s a chance to vent his anger. And BOOM! We got our first Rawdog “I’m fucking angry” rant session, which was more emo than angry. He needs work, more angry work.

Shit’s pretty much normal around here.

Some dude fell out of a moving car, got ran over, people stopped to help, he got up and ran towards one of the stopped cars, opened the back door and tried to pull a kid out… he was on PCP. That PCP shit, it makes fucking superheros. High profile guest on the show today, guitar sick cunt Steve Vai stopped by, and if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably younger than most of us. Ellis, in all his refinement, couldn’t help but notice how big Vai’s hands are and asked if he could swim good with those flippers. HA! That’s just one of the things I love about listening to Ellis interview famous people. Stacy Peralta made a quick stop by the show, he’s a skateboarding legend. And again, if you don’t know who he is, you’re probably old enough to be raped, and young enough to press some serious charges. Scott Greenstein, President and CCO of Sirius XM made super brief stop by the show as well, and if you don’t know who he is, don’t worry about it – only Sirius XM employees know if he really exists or not. Hey, did you know your mom tried to get your sister on birth control because she was following in mommies footsteps? Yup, she did. Your mom walked into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Can I get some birth control for my 10 year old daughter?” The pharmacist said, “You have a sexually active 10 year old daughter!?” Your mom then said, “Sexually active? Hell no!, She just lies there and cries most of the time”. OH!

Will Buttons (Button) – 9/10/12

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“Poooooop!”

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“You should just fucking smile and blow me!”

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“Well, puke on my dick!”

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“Hard pussy on your ass” (Robot)

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“Shut that cunt’s mouth before I go fuck-start her head!”

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“I hate myself”

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“Delicious cum on the ground aagghhh!” (Version 1)

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“Delicious cum on the ground aagghhh!” (Version 2)

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Bonus: Where did the “Delicious cum on the ground” quote come from? Listen back.

Show Re-cap For Friday 9/7/2012

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Real life Bert & Ernie is terrifying

It’s here! Friday is finally here! How’s everyone’s non-mangled dicks and vaginas? Wonderfurishical! Nobody on the show has seen Will’s penis or his vagina or his cunt-dick, I don’t know what that means – mainly because I’m only 12. However, according to Rawdog, penises are like snowflakes, each one is wonderful and different. Let’s keep talking about fucked up dicks and gashes for a second, micro-dick owners probably do not want to be lumped into the same category as ambiguous genitalia owners. I know none of you are sick of talking about Instagram, but I’m going to keep this brief anyway, you can now follow @Future41 AND @RadioTFB as well as @Tullywood, so there ya go. You could always follow Shiny Shins too, he’s @deadletters, but who cares, right? Get this shit, some dude that claims to be a real-life Indiana Jones made a fucking shit knife, just like in The Woodsman – a shitting knife made out of shit – holy shit!

Remember, treated as an adult.

AsphyxiaNoir is in a vote on Fleshlight to have a sex toy made out of her vag, I assume vag, guess it could be her mouth or butthole? Either way, go vote for her, if she wins because of the show, she’ll come in and they’ll do stuff to her. Don Imus has a ranch, neat huh? Donald Schultz was supposed to be on the show for the past several days, but he’s got a tummy ache or something so he hasn’t appeared. Rawdog would like to be treated as an adult, so everyone – please – stop sending lollipops into the show, he doesn’t want them anymore. Some crazy white chick was wreaking havoc on the streets of New York City, which is pretty normal for NYC, but she’s good looking so you might wanna watch it. Big Willy Pendarvy came up with a new game for the guys to play today, it was a short immigration questionnaire, and you had to get at least 7 right or you get deported.

We’re in the home stretch ladies and gentlemen! Ellis was on a box of Rice Krispies® back in the day, and he was also in a Skittles commercial from 1988, he was the red Skittle. Half the show was the guys learning and battling it out on Instagram, so there’s not much more to say about the show, but I don’t give a shit because it’s Friday. With all this hoopla over Instagram, I almost forgot to mention that you can also follow your mom there too, she’s @CumStarvedFatBitchWithAStache. OH!