Show re-cap for Friday 6/6/2014

Ellis was late today, but I can forgive him, not like I’m ever really on time. Ellis is bummed because his Netflix isn’t as good as he wants it to be. Or regular TV isn’t as good as Netflix, I’m not sure cuz he lost me somewhere. But he likes movies though. He said so. That’s a quote, I probably shoulda used the “” thingies. Boobies. Do mermaids have vaginas? Ellis thinks they must because they make poops but I disagree. I think the lady mermaid poos out her fish baby eggs and then the guy mermaid jacks off and Spider-mans the eggs while the fish lady is all like “ooooh yeah, just like that. Cum on my eggs, farley4qz1cum all over them!” while squeezing her lady fish boobs. Have you ever tried to tip a cow? Well guess what hot shot, you can’t! Apparently cows have and oversized medulla oblongata that gives them a superior equilibrium. That and they sleep laying down. After a bit of awkward office drama where Will said Kevin constantly throws him under the bus and Kevin replied with the same claim but he can’t remember an instance, they read their “future” journal entries. Will wants the show to be successful, Kevin wants to be married to an inappropriately young woman, and Jetta wants his future wife to stop hating him.

In Hollywood News, Antonio Benderas released Melanie Griffith back into the general population. In the divorce Melanie is asking for child support, sole custody of their daughter, and her share of their properties. Antonio’s only request is to keep his hair which has been denied. J Lo’s boyfriend broke up with her, they say it was a mutual split but sources are saying that J Lo wasn’t packin enough in the sack for his liking.

Ellis rocked out last night at the magic mansion in Hollywood. He was invited by Bestie McBestington and his brother. They played songs from their new album and Jason said that even though he isn’t a fan of Good Charlotte he really dug the new songs so check that shit out when it’s released. More Hollywood News, Hootie couldn’t get into his own concert because they didn’t think it was him, some fat lady is making fat lady clothes now, a watch maker on IG is calling out all the rappers posting pics of their fake Rolex’s, and Dolly Parton has vagina tattoos, allegedly. But it’s still true cuz I just put it on the Internet.

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After coming back from the break and plugging the great site,, Jason, Christian, and Tully talked about smoking and the good ol days when the doctors would just prescribe a dose of Man The Fuck Up and Marlboro Reds. After some banter and chit chat of the sort they watched a video of Ellis in Vancouver for 411 magazine. Christian Hosoi is selling a bunch of his old skateboard decks on eBay for charity. This little tidbit of news brought about some old skateboarding stories from Ellis’s glory days when Hosoi was the fucking rockstar of skating.

After the break they talk about the EM10 battle, Tully vs Mad Child, and how Tully isn’t nervous but he might get shit whipped in the first minute if he doesn’t watch out. Jason Gay Dick Ellis called Twitch the Homo late which didn’t seem to matter. Twitch is going to be in the X Games competing in best whip and he needs us to twitter ESPN or X Games or some shit and hashtag #bestwhip #xgames #twitch #WhateverHisTealNameIs. Christian brought is the best new music of the month and here is my top 5 picks that you should immediately buy,


In today’s news an Oklahoma father runs over his daughters fiancé, a South African bike robbery at gunpoint is recorded on a gopro, and Branden knew he was fat when his mom thought his tum tum had scratches on it but they were really stretch marks, like the ones on yer mums flappy labiaus fattius, OH!



Show Re-cap for Thursday 11/14/2013

So have you ever wondered what life is about? What it all means? What it’s like to have two dicks in your mouth at the same time. I bet it’s exhausting and uncomfortable. Much like life when you try to take on too much and don’t slow down to enjoy the simple things,

Two Girls, One Lizard

Two Girls, One Lizard

like one dick in your mouth. This applies to everybody, except Sasha Grey, she loves to have dicks crammed in her mouth like a dick mouth cramming machine. But some people like many many dicks in them, that’s not wrong, it’s just their thing and if that’s cool with them then that’s cool with me. They talked about many fetishes and how some of the things that seemed forbidden and taboo twenty years ago are pretty much normal now. And in the interest of normal, Baby Man called in and said that he and his wife get off on him acting like a baby and pissing himself and chillin in a giant crib. There are many other fetishes that people are into like peeing on each other, bondage, spanking, dressing as a magical liger from the land of boners, and other completely normal and healthy sexual ventures.

Did you watch The Ultimate Fighter last night? I didn’t, I was busy making fun of the people who are trying to find Bigfoot but I recorded it so no spoilers. Apparently everyone is being a whiney little bitch and they hate this one girl because she is wining and the rest of them are not. I also believe that all the women in the house have started their periods at the same time because according to the internet that shit happens. Red Tide. Brian Deegan (@mmgeneral) came into the studio to talk about all kinds of shit. He talked about being in the LOORS, thats Lucas Oil Offroad Racing Series for you sissy girls, and how he’s trying to move to pro something from pro something else. He also talked about the Lucas Oil Championships the he won, black flag (not the band apparently), and feeling with your ass. There was some other Australian bloke that likes to party in the snow there with them.

You think your kids awesome, bet he doesn't have a GoPro video to prove it!

You think your kids awesome, bet he doesn’t have a GoPro video to prove it!

Apparently this dude is some kick ass X-Games mother fucker, I’d give you more information but I’m lazy and you don’t really care anyway and these are not the droids you’re looking for. They also talked about Ken Block. A lot. So much that now I have an urge to name my next born child Ken Block. Speaking of Ken Block, Deegan (briandeegan38) and Twitch used to be friends, then they weren’t, but they’re back to being friends now so happy days are here again. As great, and long, as this interview was my app timed out and restarted with Butt Town. As much as I’m interested in the last bit of Deegan and hearing how his kid is better than everyone else I think I’ll just move on.

Aussie news on a Perth freeway a man was caught on a dash cam head butting cars. Woman turned down a dudes marriage proposal so the dude sent her a bill for two download (7)hundred grand for everything he spent courting her. Also in amazing news from an Australian, other channels on SiriusXm are now promoting on their channels. A man in London got arrested for shoving a fire extinguisher up his butt, fondling himself, and stripping naked. He also claimed the entire country is being invaded by Al Qaeda and pissed on the floor. This dude parties better than you. Speaking of parties, I am the master of segways with this shit I swear, they did Wolfknife names next! They were awesome, so awesome that I forgot to write any of them down for you. Sucks to be you! But thank god there are replays in the morning and maybe you can hear it there, unless you’re one of the three guys bitching about it, then you can go fuck yourself with your sisters dick. Final calls happened, much

My reaction to your Wolfknife name.

My reaction to your Wolfknife name.

like it happens every day, and much like everyday, the callers are shit tards and don’t know how to ask intelligent questions let alone are able to talk when their name is mentioned. Oh and Ellis’s insurance company keeps jacking him around with the Porsche dealership repair shop and getting his car fixed. They took a look at the charts and something and figure that this new Death!Death!Die! album should be bigger than the Tainstick album, but that is neither here nor there, it’s a CD. That was a joke, maybe you should read it again. Did you get it? Oh well, this kind of comedy isn’t for everybody. Remember that no matter how hard life gets its never gonna be as hard as the thousands and thousands of dicks that have penetrated yer mums sockets, OH!

Show Re-Cap for Friday 8/2/2013

Welcome to the recap live from the Staple Center and the X-Games! Okay, you’re not really at the Staple Center and this recap isn’t live but who gives a fuck, it’s Friday. Remember that time Tully almost killed Johnny Moseley (1) at his first X-Games by driving on the wrong side of the road? Tully does, and Johnny probably does too. Be prepared folks, that’s only the first of many many name drops today. Bob Burquist (2) did some gnarly trick and broke his nose or something, ask Tony Hawk (3), he was there. Elliot photo (5)Sloan (4) did a golden 720 pipe grab and won whatever he was in. Ramona Brewland (5), Jake Brown (6), Mitchie Brusko (7), and Jagger Eaton (8) to also namedrop a few. Ellis took a ride in Ken Block’s (9) car today and if you were looking forward too Ellis’s go pro video then your shit out of luck. But the other guys in Ken’s crew took care of it so you’re back in shit luck. Speaking of shit, Nick Swardson (10) almost crapped himself, not on purpose this time. I guess he was a bit scared to ride in a $750,000 death machine. Pussy. Last night Tully went and saw Joan Jett, Rawdog went to a comedy show, and Dingo was texting Ellis how great of a time he’s having and that he should be there instead of going to bed. Josh Hansen (11) took gold in Best Whip and Twitch (12) took second and that one chick went home because boys don’t play fair. Ellis talked about the movie he watched about Nazis and Jews and drugs and Robocop and giant alien bugs and a girl with three boobs. Wolfknife Cat Bathtub, who works for the X-Games, stopped by and reminisced about the days Ellis was a contestant and how pleasant it was to work with him.

In Aussie News a defense attorney warns that there may someday be an infiltration of shitty poorer countries because Australia is so sweet. Speaking of Aussie News, the club that Dingo went to had a live kangaroo, the club that he didn’t invite Ellis to. But he did invite Ellis to the kangaroo less club tonight, but who the fuck wants to go to a club that doesn’t have a kangaroo! I guess this party was done by some big shoe designer friend of Dingos. Tony Hawk twittered a video of a police officer hitting a kid with his car intentionally, allegedly. Elliot Sloan won the Mega Ramp. The entire thing, he’s gonna have a hell of a time getting it home. Cue the snare drum and symbol. Then they stared talking about the UFC Tito, Rampage, Dana, Bellator, live from the X-Games in the Staple Center. Josh Hanson and Twitch took a moment from their practice to hang out and talk moto and shitty penis tattoos. And balls, moto dudes and moto announcers love to talk about balls! Hanson thinks the one chick has a tidy ass but not the other chick, he doesn’t know about that other girls ass. They all talked a lot and on top of each other but it was entertaining as fuck.

Jack Whites ex wife filed a restraining order against him because she’s a cunt and he’s an asshole. The guys took a few calls and they sounded like shit. Not because of the constant revving of the dirt bikes but because the callers suck. Some lady with cows thinks aliens cut off their tits and did burn outs in her pasture. A 22 yer old Missouri man is the first person to be proven to be turned on by farts. Back to the live X-Games practice coverage. A dude on a gold bike did this one trick and did awesome then stalled it. Another dude did this one thing that kicked ass. One guy on an orange bike got laughed at, and everything sounds like farts. Shawn Malto (13) stood the guys up like the hot chick on high school that you finally got the nerve to ask out and meet up at the pizzeria and you wait there all night until they close and she never shows up only to tell you the next day that she forgot. Bitch.

Maricopa County is the hotspot for an outbreak of bloody diarrhea. The eleven people that have been admitted all know each other. Josh thinks they were using glass dildos way too roughly and as everyone knows, rigorous masturbation with a glass dildo can be dangerous. Ronnie Renner (14) joined the dildo discussion. He is competing in the Step Up competition, which I picture is something like Super Mario on a motorbike. Surprisingly enough they didn’t talk about moto. Okay I’m lying, they only talked about moto. Even the part about his kids and finishing early, still moto talk. Except when they talked about surfing which was equally exciting.

Breaking news, the bloody diarrhea has been tracked to the Fredericos in Litchfield Park. If you have eaten at this restaurant and are now shitting blood (shitting blood is metal) please call the authorities immediately. Thank you for reading today’s recap live from the Staple Center and the X-Games, I have a phone call to make. Tell yer mum I’ll see her later, OH no!

Show Re-cap For Friday 6/29/2012

Ronnie Faisst

Happy WGAFF mofo’s! The guys, along with @UnderwearWolf and @TheDingoInSnow, are at the X Games so that’s where they did the show from today. Apparently while the show was on, it was a pretty big sausage fest – one would assume because it’s too early for whores to be up, like vampires, they’re active at night. Also, since Ellis comes from the X Games world and is friends with so many people in that world, this is going to be jam packed with name drops. The first guests on the show were Ronnie Faisst (@ronniefaisst) and Diogo Simoes (@diogosimoes1) as they were watching some step-up moto practice. As you could imagine, being at the X Games, it’s hard to take callers and read twitter so interaction was pretty limited. It doesn’t make for the greatest of radio shows, but hearing Faisst say that he doesn’t touch his weiner because Jesus doesn’t approve was pretty fuckin’ hilarious.

Carey Hart

Next on the show was Carey Hart (@hartluck) talking about how he hurt his back and his hand recently and this will be his last X Games, but he will continue other shit like the Dew Tour and racing trucks. He says he just can’t keep up, he’s getting older and getting hurt more so it’s time, but he will continue to ride on his own, just not compete. He also jacks off at times even though he’s still getting play from his wife, Pink (@Pink). Next up was Jamie Bestwick (@jamiebestwick), all of you should be very familiar with him because Ellis loved doing unfavorable impressions of him for almost a year straight. I think one of the most entertaining parts of his interview was when he called it a “Teeyoter” instead of “Toyota” and “Tuckson” Arizona instead of “Tucson”, gotta love those Brits. Poor Rawdog was getting teased, in a friendly way, from all the guys about his eating habits and how deep his belly button is, due to chicken nugget breakfasts and hamburger dinners.

Brian Deegan

Let’s see, who’s next… Brian Deegan (@mmgeneral) and him talking about how his spleen or kidney or both split like a hotdog and he’s always wondered if they just didn’t need a spare and took his. We finally got to hear Rawdog call out what he was watching, a la JagerBeard, but completely sober and not in character – which is very similar. Ellis asked Bry Like A Deegan what he thought about Ken Block while they were talking rally. Not one to beat around the bush much, Deegles says Ken is a good driver, a great marketer, but not so much of a racer. Mitchie Brusco (@Mitchiebrusco84) was next up on the show, he’s that 15 year-old skater kid that called a 900 number or some shit. They kind of grilled him too, in a friendly way as well, and he seemed to take everything in stride and with a really good attitude, so that’s pretty cool of little dude. It’s speculated he could take Rawdog in a fight too. Still, as cool and accomplished as he is at such a young age, it’s weird to hear a 15 year-old on the show, but I get it.

Hooters chicks

Hooter’s girls stopped by to bring some wings for the guys, low and behold, Ellis recognized both of them from the pageant he had just previously judged. In case you missed the pageant, one of those chicks (the hot one maybe? not that one, the other one) said it re-airs this Sunday, but she’s a woman so who knows if that’s true or not. I mean, we all know women don’t know shit from apple butter. Cullen (@Cullensaidthis) was nice enough to snap and share a photo of @imVictoriaBrown and some other chick named Afton Storton or something. Robbie Maddison (@robbiemaddison) came on the show and said he had just did a stunt in an upcoming James Bond film, but couldn’t talk about it. When asked what’s the furthest he’s jumped, his answer was “I don’t know”. So there ya go kiddies, watch out for those concussions! And like Bestwick, we get to make fun of his foreigner speech habits, as he called a “Mercedes” a “Merseedies”.

And finally, Manny Santiago (@Mannyslaysall) and Twitch (@twitchthis) were the last ones to stop by the show. And of course Twitch and Ellis had to express their undying love for one another as only two crazy fuckers can. By pulling down their pants and pressing each half of their gay love tattoo on their legs together to form the love bond and insulting one another as much as possible. Holy shit rope! Was that not a star packed re-cap or what? You know what’s funny about all those names listed above? It doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the full list of famous, not famous, homeless, and down right disgusting people your mom has filled her putrid fuckhole with. OH!

Your mom thanking Spiderman when she was way younger

Show Re-cap For Thursday 5/10/2012

I want to be inside you

Healing news today on the show, driving a Porsche settles upset tummies. Tomorrow will be @DanOD5‘s goodbye show, his internship is over and now he must leave the nest and spread his wings. He’ll fly, fly, fly away, back to Chicago and his hot mom. George Clooney probably has some ugly chick in his past that he still longs for, even though he bangs super hot bitches. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s Brad Pitt he longs for, I don’t know. Whichever the choice is, I accept your decision George. Some chick needed to expel breast milk and for whatever reason, it wasn’t coming out so the husband sucked it out for her. NOPE! Keep pushing me, keep pushing me, you just keep on pushing my love, over the borderline – borderline! You just sang that little ditty in Madonna’s voice – and now that song is also stuck in your head, you’re welcome.

Oh Asians, you so cray

Josh Barnett was supposed to be on the show today, but after being already 45 minutes late, Shiney Shins Pendarvis got a phone call saying he would be late. No shit Sherlock. So he got rescheduled in favor of having Twitch (@twitchthis) on at his scheduled time. Apparently the Japanese have done it again, they’ve created an ice bra to help keep the sweater puppies cool during those warm summer days – way to stay cutting edge Japan! Ellis and Twitch played a little trivia game to see who’s smarter than a… a, uh… I don’t know, you can think of something. Anyway, Ellis lost and got to have his nuts tugged on by an R/C car while Twitch gently kissed his neck. Okay, that last part was an outright lie, but the truth is that both of them are going to Twitch’s party tonight, so technically it could still happen.

Is it final calls time?

And then we had final calls… final calls. Oh final callers, why are you so fucking stupid? You don’t realize you’re talking to the person you just called, you ask things like “what are you doin?”, and your reception usually seems as if you’re on the dark side of the moon. I’m really glad you don’t call throughout the show and wait until the end, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. But I also want you to choke on your Speghetti O’s, I know you can do it if you just apply yourself. And now, I have a question for you! Why did your mom cross the road? Because I told that stupid whore to get the fuck off my lawn and go graze in the pastures with the rest of the cows. OH!