Show Re-cap For Monday 10/1/2012

Rawdog’s general message to everyone during the weekends

It’s fucking October already? Next think you know, it’ll still be October – freaky, right? First up on the show today was Dingo, sans Momma Dingo, he was a few minutes late because he was busy creeping on the casting line-up for the hot chick agency next door. Sounds like he’s got an ingrown toenail growing, aka hammer time, which sucks. Ellis has a bunch of video and pictures to put up on EllisMania.com from his pool party, he just has to review it all before it starts going up. He had to kick some sky diver dude out of the party for being a dick side burn. He also might have broke his toe or something while he was trying a Triple Lindy, made famous by Thornton Melon. Rawdog was there, he got really high and forgot to send Dingo an iPhone recording of the Big Fucking Mega Boat movie that was screened at the pool party – which really means that he hates Dingo. Tully, the only clear thinking adult there, gave Ellis a record player and records as a housewarming gift.

Rawdog’s most likely candidate for his horse

Hey, Tully has a disease, it’s called Dupuytren’s Disease! Chalk that one up as something else Tully has and you don’t. The guys started planning to go on a horse ride, but alas, they have no rope – so now they’re planning on taking a boat ride. Speaking of boats, Dingo’s conspiracy theory is that the Titanic never sank, it was actually another boat that sank and was all about an insurance scam. Take that James Cameron! Everything is being automated these days, and sometimes that shit is awesome and sometimes it is not. There you go, solid, opinionated reporting is what we do here. Some dude that works at Avon Chateau Lake Louise wants Ellis and everyone to come up and do a show for all 6 of the oil sands workers up in Alberta. What is it with callers saying “I’m the guy in (insert state / province here), like Ellis is going to say, “oh yeah! Fuck, it’s been so long, how have you been?” What’s the deal with that, huh?

Your mom has shit in her coochie

Drew Barrymore shat out a child, Olive, with some art consultant dude. And just for the record, if Tully and his wife ever have a female child, it too will be named Olive. And they totally stole that idea from Drew, because they’re massive Drew Barrymore fans. Junk food eating game today, the guys can see what they’re eating (burgers, fries, & nuggets), but have no idea where it’s from, and they have to describe and rate it as they eat it – and then guess where it’s from. Cumtard came in with the results, sounds like Jack In The Box won the taste test, minus their nuggets that smelled like dirty socks. Staying true to form, Rawdog now hates everyone that has anything to do with the show because he likes a Paul F. Tompkins podcast way, way, better. Some Valerie chick who I assume is Ellis’ publicist popped on the show for a few minutes, she sounds like a pretty cool chick and surprise, I want to see her boobs and it sounds like Ellis wants to bone her. Two weeks from now, the show will be on vacation for 1 week, so don’t be surprised when you hear replays of the show in two weeks. Also, don’t be surprised if you start seeing wads of bloody toilet paper strewn about the house, instead of your typical feminine hygiene products, your mom has been stuffing her twat with toilet paper while she’s on her period. OH!

The Big Fucking History of “Big Fucking Mega Boat” – Part 1 (History)

For a movie that is only a reported 22min long and has been billed by J.Ellis as one of the worst things he’s ever seen, it has taken a long, long road to being made. Part 1 of the History of BFMB starts at the initial idea, the plans with Donald Schultz, developing the script , all the way up to just before they started filming.

He-man leads to 80’s toys, leads to the “Battleship” movie,  and then the 1st spark of “BFMB” – 2/1/12 – 8min

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Allison Eastwood will be the director for BFMB? – 2/3/12 – 2min

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Malin Akerman in studio and Grant’s “Kawaski” tattoo leads to the mention of Sgt. Kawaski and BFMB – 2/9/12 – 4min

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David Faustino gets pitched BFMB – 2/14/12 – 1min

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Shoebox gets pitched BFMB – 2/15/12 – 2min

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Donald Schultz in studio to discuss sets and script ideas for BFMB – 2/21/12 – 50min

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Donald Schultz returns, claims he has a submarine for the movie? Lots more movie ideas- 3/8/12 – 43min

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Rawdog will be the MGM Lion – 3/14/12 – 3min

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The idea of go karts at K1 Speed is announced and the characters/actors are set – 4/4/12 – 72min

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Show Re-cap For Friday 9/28/2012

Hair cut? More like hair pie! Bldldldldldl!

Welcome to this Friday’s re-cap. Have a seat anywhere you like, kick back, relax, and let the soothing words of turd talk slowly melt into your pores. Ellis was busy shitting and puking all night long and watching Jaws 1 through 4. Sounds like a 24-hour stomach bug of some kind or maybe food poisoning, but he’s a sick cunt mate, so he powered through and still did a show today. Guess what, THC called in and he’s been sick as fuck too and he’s thinking he had some bad turkey burgers. Speaking of turkey burger, shout out to @mrsjessliv and @bwstrangler on the birth of their child! Good news for Rawdog, one of Katie’s friends who cuts hair, just moved to LA and does home appointments. So sounds like Rawdog might be getting his hair cut once a month while on the show from what I assume is a hot piece of poon.

Dude, take off your pants and get comfortable!

According to a former Abercrombie & Fitch model, he alleges that they flew him to photo shoot where the modeling agent said he needed to look more relaxed. And how do you look more relaxed? By masturbating of course! So he was told to strip down and whack off, while the camera man was nice enough to make him feel more comfortable by stripping himself and then comparing their cocks & balls. Hey, some millionaire dude did so much cocaine that his nose collapsed, that’s gotta make you feel better about your nose, right? Rawdog thinks elephants are the king of the jungle, not lions. But hey, this is coming from a man that thinks salads are pure fucking evil. However, he does want to be a blue whale, which I think is a solid choice. It’s way better than a fuckin’ conch.

What do porn stars and the Titanic have in common?

That dude from that show? Yea, he died in an apparent murder / suicide. He was on some designer drug called “smiles” and killed his landlady, tore apart her kitty, and then something else… wait, no, yea, he died. There are Fight Club rules and then there are Threesome Club rules: Pump your significant other more than the other one. Marky Mark the jeweler dude was on the show today to deliver a battle axe necklace to Ellis. Wanna know the names of some of the porn stars that going to Ellis’ pool party? Sure you do! Tera Patrick, Missy Martinez, Allison Moore, Emily Parker, Kayla Paige, and Randy Wright, Kendall Karson, and one other gash owner were mentioned.

What’s it like when Momma Dingo comes into the studio?

Everyone masturbates, everyone – even animals. And you know what, it’s all good for you and for them. On the topic of things that are good for you, Dingo stopped by the show today and brought along Momma Dingo, his mother! Gigantic surprise, she has a thick Australian accent, and what sounds like a lisp. She calls him “Luke” when talking to him, but when talking to others about him, it’s “Dingo.” I don’t think I ever knew his real name was Luke, so that’s a bonus. She’s also a Justin Timberlake fan, just in case you were wondering what you might get her for Christmas. Fuck it. So your mom walked into this bar, sits down to order a drink and the bartender asked, “You seem down, why the long face?” She replied, “I have cervical cancer.” OH!